I overall enjoyed this graphic memoir a lot. Really appreciated Siobhan Gallagher’s honesty about her issues with self-esteem, body image, self-harm, I overall enjoyed this graphic memoir a lot. Really appreciated Siobhan Gallagher’s honesty about her issues with self-esteem, body image, self-harm, and more throughout her life. Her drawings were engaging and aesthetically appealing to the eye so I didn’t feel like I was “working” to get through Full of Myself. Though the contents were sometimes sad, her colorful illustrations and sense of humor were refreshing and real. Loved her analysis of the media and her candor about the many instances she faced of men objectifying her in gross and sexist ways.
I liked Gallagher’s veracity about the messiness of her life through many stages and that she also wrote about her healing process. Several of her steps toward healing resonated with my experience of recovering from disordered eating, like reading and deeply internalizing feminist writing about body image (thank you Appetites by Caronline Knapp!!), engaging in intuitive and mindful eating, and doing exercise that feels pleasurable and isn’t focused on weight loss (I haven’t weighed myself in years). I understand there are limitations to Gallagher’s narrative given her many privileges as a white, mid-sized, college-educated, cisgender woman, though I felt that she acknowledged these constraints and wrote from her a heartfelt place within them....more
I liked this book! Really appreciated Alua Athur’s honesty about her relationship “failures” and successes and her career pivot. Also thought she did I liked this book! Really appreciated Alua Athur’s honesty about her relationship “failures” and successes and her career pivot. Also thought she did a nice job reflecting honestly about death and dying in a way that was both appropriately somber while still maintaining her cheery disposition. Her incorporation of body positivity and messages about encountering racism and other multicultural issues added a nice tough to the memoir. While I thought the flow and organization of Briefly Perfectly Human was a bit chaotic and not as tightly structured as it could have been, this also seemed to align with Arthur’s vibe which I respect. Four stars....more
A varied set of essays about food culture and people’s difficulties with eating. There was a lot of focus on children who struggle with food 3.5 stars
A varied set of essays about food culture and people’s difficulties with eating. There was a lot of focus on children who struggle with food and eating, which I wasn’t expecting though I found interesting and compelling. Virginia Sole-Smith addresses a variety of topics, including orthorexia and how “healthy” eating can turn disordered, disparities between Black and white adults in food access, and bariatric surgery. Sole-Smith is a smart writer and I was engaged by each essay, though I think I wanted more of a central thesis or an even deeper analysis behind these pieces. Even a deeper dive into intuitive eating would have been interesting or helpful in the context of the other pieces in this book. Still, it’s nice to see Sole-Smith’s growth as a writer with her newer book Fat Talk and I’d recommend this one for those who are interested in its synopsis....more
Appreciated this book for its intelligent and thorough takedown of anti-fat bias, especially in relation to children and teens. Virginia Sole-Smith coAppreciated this book for its intelligent and thorough takedown of anti-fat bias, especially in relation to children and teens. Virginia Sole-Smith covers a lot of territory in this book, such as how parents talk to their children about fatness, food, and weight, the ways that doctors can either perpetuate or reduce anti-fat bias, and how social media can stir up anti-fat bias and glorify thinness. I like that Sole-Smith blended narratives from real people with peer-reviewed research and takes from academics; she also names the intersection of anti-fat bias and other oppressions like anti-Black racism and misogyny. For those who have already read a decent amount about fatphobia this book may not be super surprising or filled with new information, however I found it a nice refresher and am glad more people are talking about this.
As a somewhat random aside, again, I am glad that people are naming fatphobia/anti-fat bias for what it is. Just the other week a gay man I play tennis with talked about cutting carbs so he could look good to go to Fire Island, and I was like, nope, I am not engaging in this conversation nor endorsing/condoning fatphobia in the queer community. I’m glad that I spend pretty much no time thinking about my weight or what my body looks like so I can focus on my meaningful work, hobbies, and relationships. And, I hope books like these help more people appreciate their bodies for how they feel and what they can do instead of how they look....more
Wow, what an absolute stunner of a novel that could not be more relevant to our times. Evil Eye follows Yara, a Palestinian American woman who grew upWow, what an absolute stunner of a novel that could not be more relevant to our times. Evil Eye follows Yara, a Palestinian American woman who grew up in a conservative and emotionally tumultuous family in Brooklyn, New York. Flash forward and she’s working at a local university teaching art, while at the same time raising her two school-aged daughters and doing the majority of the household chores while her husband focuses on his job. Yara is discontent with the makeup of her life, however, it’s not until she responds to a racist comment made by one of her coworkers that her emotions of disappointment and despair start to fester to a boiling point. Yara begins seeing a therapist and the difficult journey of unpacking her memories that are so dreadfully shaking her to her core.
I loved this book. Loved it. First, Etaf Rum’s writing is immaculate. Not flashy, and so compulsively readable and so clear and concise. The prose didn’t get in the way of the story and in fact conveyed Yara’s emotional state with immense clarity and heart – her post-traumatic stress disorder, her depression and anxiety, and all the intergenerational and present-day racism and sexism that contributed to her mental health. I flew through about 200 pages of this novel last night because I felt so invested in Yara, and Rum’s writing, similar to her debut A Woman is No Man, was enthralling in its simple effectiveness.
The depiction of mental health in this novel got me floored. I was shaking, and by the end I was in near tears too! The way Rum described intergenerational trauma and how Yara’s mother was both a victim of and perpetrator of abuse, whew I was emotional. And Yara’s long, arduous journey of learning how to stop blaming herself for other people’s mistreatment of her, of opening up to her friend Silas and her therapist(s), and of starting to actually sit with the physical sensations of her body and self-regulate all made me both devastated and proud of her. Even writing this review makes tears come to my eyes because as a PTSD survivor Yara’s fight for her life is relatable to me, though of course we come from different backgrounds even though we share immigrant parents displaced by war.
All in all, one of my top books of this year and that I’ve read in my life. Rum does such a fantastic job of portraying the micro and macroaggression Yara experiences, as well as her use of journaling and coming into her own voice to heal. Yara’s friendship with Silas and how friendship acts as a conduit for Yara’s healing, increased self-compassion, and learning to open up to other people had me near tears. Also, the portrayals of therapy were excellent, top-notch, so thoughtfully written without sacrificing either the momentum of the plot or what therapy actually looks like. Etaf Rum, you have my whole heart!
Also, this book came out in March of this year (2023), and unfortunately is so relevant. In the novel Yara’s grandparents were displaced from Palestine by Israel’s colonial oppression, which is literally what is happening right now. Here are some actions you can take to advocate for a ceasefire. While it’s already way too late for thousands of people, we need to take action to *prevent* intergenerational trauma, not just provide care for people after the trauma happens. You can also read The Ethnic Cleansing of Palestine by Jewish historian Ilan Pappe if you want to educate yourself on the matter. I’m appreciative of Rum for speaking out about this on her café’s Instagram. FYI, if you leave an oppressive remark about my pro-Palestine, anti-genocide stance in the comments, that’s whatever, I probably just won’t reply. Anyway, this book was spectacular and I don’t want to divert from that, I just felt it’d be disingenuous not to comment on the genocide happening in Palestine now....more
This one missed the mark for me. I think that Emily Austin did a decent job of portraying a woman struggling from social anxiety, intrusive thoughts aThis one missed the mark for me. I think that Emily Austin did a decent job of portraying a woman struggling from social anxiety, intrusive thoughts about death, and relationships where she doesn’t open up to people. However, by the end of the novel I didn’t feel like I got a deeper understanding or connection with the main character. I felt like Austin put a lot of effort into making the prose and the protagonist “quirky,” instead of fleshing the protagonist out more deeply. Finally, I felt that some of the prose was heavy/heavy-handed.
I can see how the book may feel relatable to people with anxiety, though. The search for my next five-star read continues!...more
I can see why this book is popular given the unique situation of a family with 12 kids, six of whom have schizophrenia. Unfortunately I didn’t love HiI can see why this book is popular given the unique situation of a family with 12 kids, six of whom have schizophrenia. Unfortunately I didn’t love Hidden Valley Road - while it does address a very stigmatized mental illness, the writing was dull to me. There’s interesting content related to some of the historical science surrounding schizophrenia interwoven with the family’s narrative, though the flatness of the writing made this one a bit of a slog for me to get through.
One thing I found particularly odd was the lack of attention paid to violence toward women in this book. There are several instances of horrific domestic violence and sexual assault and I found it strange that the author didn’t take a pause to comment or address that. I know this book is written in a journalistic way so I wasn’t expecting the author to foray into a feminist op-ed or something, but I think he could have at least dedicated a little more space to acknowledging how the violence against women within this family dovetailed with national trends in the United States.
On the other hand, I did appreciate reading about the two young sisters’ perspectives on the trauma within their family. I thought their perspectives on living with family members with mental illness was touching, and the care they invested in their own healing was courageous. Overall, I thought this book was just alright....more
I thought that this book did a nice job of portraying the complexities of addiction as well as what it feels like to work as a health care provider trI thought that this book did a nice job of portraying the complexities of addiction as well as what it feels like to work as a health care provider trying to care for those with substance use disorders. Vincent Lam highlights the harrowing journey of someone struggling with an opioid use disorder in a way that shows the hardship caused by the disorder without stigmatizing it. I liked that Lam showed the ups and downs of the treatment process and how difficult and hopeless it can feel, even when you’re not willing to give up on either yourself or your patient.
I felt that Lam’s writing was a bit stiff and repetitive which detracted from my enjoyment of the novel. Still, I can see how much Lam cares about his patients and these issues, and I commend him for such a compassionate and real take on working with those with substance use disorders....more
An important book about the history of slavery in the United States and the intergenerational impact of enslavement on Black Americans. Joy DeGruy expAn important book about the history of slavery in the United States and the intergenerational impact of enslavement on Black Americans. Joy DeGruy explores and unpacks how some of Black Americans’ present-day behaviors may stem from slavery (i.e., glorifying whiteness and viewing Blackness as inferior, possessing low self-esteem, and persistent anger). Through her historically-attuned arguments, she makes the case for both understanding the past and using that knowledge to change the present. I think this book may be of particular benefit to people who don’t know much about the history of slavery in the United States as well as those who want to think more deeply about intergenerational internalized racism. I found DeGruy’s writing about Black parents and how they raise their children particularly fascinating; I think she avoids common stereotypes about Black parents and instead urges us to consider sociocultural and historical context and how those factors affect parenting....more
I read this book because my Boston Asian book club chose it for our February read. It was cute in a way! I felt like I did learn some interesting tidbI read this book because my Boston Asian book club chose it for our February read. It was cute in a way! I felt like I did learn some interesting tidbits related to romance, like how decades ago people tended to meet their romantic partners through close geographical proximity (e.g., living in the same apartment) which has changed now with online dating. The issue of having “too many” options living in a city made sense to me too (so maybe it’s not just patriarchy’s socialization of men and white supremacy that’s made me romantically single for all of my life, but also living in predominantly urban environments?? intriguing!)
One glaring limitation of this book is the lack of discussion of amatonormativity. I find it almost laughable to write an entire book about romance without discussing heteronormativity and amatonormativity and how they shape the prevalence of romance and the wedding industrial complex in our society. Aziz Ansari kind of almost barely touches on this through mentioning that women’s increased economic power made it so they didn’t have to marry men to access financial security.
I also found a couple of small statements in the book… annoying in a mosquito bite-y sort of way. For example, Ansari makes a joke about having an “Indian stalker” and I was kind of eye-rolling about the stalker being Indian, like why do you have to implicate your own race (and it made me think of this broader criticism of Ansari and his lifting up of white women over women of color). And in another section of the book he implies that a man he meets isn’t a “stud” because he’s on the shorter side. Yawn! Where are our critical thinking hats in regard to desirability and gender norms??
I wouldn’t recommend this book though at least the writing was accessible and easy to read. I’m going to be taking notes *for sure* at my next book club meeting especially if anyone actually liked the book lol o_o If anyone is interested, I also write about amatonormativity on my blog....more
I overall liked this essay collection centered around grief, ranging from the loss of a parent, child, romantic partner, and from what I can recall onI overall liked this essay collection centered around grief, ranging from the loss of a parent, child, romantic partner, and from what I can recall one essay about a friend. I appreciate how Modern Loss normalizes the ongoing grief process and refutes outdated stereotypes that grief is just something you get over after a certain amount of time. These essays touch on some of the complicated parts of grief, such as when the person you grieving had committed adultery or when your grief is exposed to a wide mass of people on the internet. I liked how there was some diversity in regard to race and sexual orientation of the authors.
Mainly giving this three stars because I think the book favored quantity over depth – there are a lot of essays in this collection though each of them are pretty short. Totally respect that choice and I imagine some of that has to do with the online format of this forum prior to this book coming out. When it comes to a full-length book about grief my mind first goes to Let’s Take the Long Way Home by Gail Caldwell, about losing her brilliant friend Caroline Knapp. Also, I wanted to say that you can grieve people and experiences even if death isn’t involved (e.g., a breakup between friends or romantic partners or family estrangement), just because a lot if not all of these essays are about when someone dies specifically....more
Overall, I found this a wholesome, research-backed, and warmly and accessibly-written book about making and keeping friends. Dr. Marisa Franco foregroOverall, I found this a wholesome, research-backed, and warmly and accessibly-written book about making and keeping friends. Dr. Marisa Franco foregrounds her ideas in Platonic by articulating how contemporary society often overlooks friendship and prioritizes romantic relationships. Thus, many of us may do not know how to form friendships and how to keep them, especially after high school or college where friend networks are more built-in, in a sense. Franco then provides a lot of helpful strategies for making and keeping friends, such as taking the initiative to see your friends and to build friendships, expressing affection and concern in a genuine way, and developing healthy boundaries. She draws upon attachment theory in thoughtful and intelligent ways to support her claims and recommendations.
I liked this book! It felt easy to read while still offering smart strategies that I imagine can help many people out, especially those who may struggle with social anxiety or those who haven’t thought about investing in their friendships. There were times where I wish the book had been a bit more… hard-hitting, for lack of a better word – I wanted more of a callout of amatonormativity and how the deprioritization of friendship aligns with how patriarchy and heteronormativity prioritize the nuclear family. But I recognize that Franco may have intentionally kept her tone on the lighter and more positive side to appeal to a wider audience. I also for some reason don’t love the insight of assuming that people like you. For me, it feels more authentic to try to cultivate self-regard so that even if people don’t like me, that’s fine, I can still find my people. Regardless of these qualms, I appreciate the rise of books tackling friendship instead of viewing it as an afterthought.
Also, Franco graduated from the PhD program I’m gonna graduate from this upcoming May! I started the program the year she graduated, I believe. It’s a small world sometimes o_o And, I’m happy to see her flourishing as an author....more
Serene, tender, and powerful. In this essay collection, Mimi Zhu reflects on their healing journey as a survivor of intimate partner violence. I likedSerene, tender, and powerful. In this essay collection, Mimi Zhu reflects on their healing journey as a survivor of intimate partner violence. I liked their honesty about the pain of their abusive relationship and the wide range of emotions they experienced after it. They share many avenues and resources they used for healing, including individual therapy, group therapy, living in a rad group home, attuning themselves toward their body, and connecting with their ancestry and the wisdom of their elders. Their path toward healing wasn’t linear and it took work. They reference several feminist and social justice-oriented texts in this collection, including writings by bell hooks, Audre Lorde, Ling Ma, Thich Nhat Hanh, and Mia Mingus. I cherished and resonated with a few of their insights in particular, such as not conflating the presence of passion in a relationship with actual healthy communication and behavior, learning to prioritize friendship and alternative forms of community over heteronormative monogamous romance, and engaging in mindfulness and appreciation of simple beautiful things throughout one’s day.
I think Zhu flips between “showing” us snippets of their past relationship and their healing with “telling” us things about the emotional and political insights they’ve acquired. I think the telling can feel less immersive than the showing, however, I did agree with pretty much everything they told. This book will maybe feel more novel for folks who haven’t read some of the writers in the first paragraph, otherwise it’s still a pleasant read....more
I liked this book and think it serves as a strong introduction to both psychodynamic therapy and therapeutic practice generally! On the more foundatioI liked this book and think it serves as a strong introduction to both psychodynamic therapy and therapeutic practice generally! On the more foundational level, Teri Quatman does an excellent job providing a relatable yet rigorous introduction to listening skills and forming the therapeutic alliance (e.g., not rushing in to reassure a patient in distress and instead sitting with and exploring that negative emotion with them, avoiding small talk that may dilute the therapeutic process, etc.) She also provides a great overview, with many examples, of how early childhood attachments affect mental health and how a psychodynamic therapist can utilize the therapeutic connection to address and hopefully heal childhood wounds. I liked too that at the beginning of the book she honors the strength of other therapeutic modalities (e.g., behaviorism) as well as the contributions of neuroscience, while still making a solid case for psychodynamic therapy’s contributions.
I think the book could have delved into deeper psychodynamic territory; I was surprised that splitting seemed like the only or one of the only defenses she reviewed. I also felt that the role of culture, power, and oppression could have been addressed. Still, an interesting read and one that reminded me of a lot of the basic yet super important qualities to being an effective clinician....more
Don’t get me wrong, I love mindfulness, though this specific book about mindfulness felt so long and drawn-out. Jon Kabat-Zinn details some important Don’t get me wrong, I love mindfulness, though this specific book about mindfulness felt so long and drawn-out. Jon Kabat-Zinn details some important and helpful information about mindfulness, and he then applies it to many, many areas: mindfulness for doctors and patients, walking meditation, mindfulness applied to pain, mindfulness applied to stress, mindfulness applied to work, and so on. While I can see how this approach may resonate for folks who do want to read about mindfulness applied to literally everything, for me it started to feel repetitive. I don’t regret reading this because I like little boosters/reminders for me to engage in mindfulness in my packed day-to-day life. However, for those who want a more concise or targeted introduction to mindfulness, I’d recommend Kabat-Zinn’s Wherever You Go, There You Are or Tara Brach’s Radical Acceptance. I read both of those books around a decade ago or even more than that I think, so I don’t recall everything from them, though they resonated with me then and still impact my day-to-day life positively.
Also, this should be the bare minimum, though I’m glad Kabat-Zinn acknowledges the roots of mindfulness in Eastern and Buddhist philosophies....more
I found this book an insightful and sometimes deeply moving look at how generational trauma affects people’s mental health and relationships. Galit AtI found this book an insightful and sometimes deeply moving look at how generational trauma affects people’s mental health and relationships. Galit Atlas a psychoanalytic therapist, describes several of her therapy cases and how people’s family histories affected the course of their treatment with her. I appreciated her consistent empathy for her clients as well as her accessible writing style. I felt really emotional in a couple of instances while reading this book, such as when she described a woman having an extramarital affair and the deeper reasons underlying her cheating (e.g., avoiding agency, wanting someone to take care of her) and how this woman grew and healed, as well as the man who tried to distance himself from Atlas (e.g., saying things like “it’s okay if you don’t want to see me, you’re my therapist not my mother) because of how his own mother rejected him. Compelling content!
A couple of things I didn’t love: first, I found the stories a little too neat at times? While Atlas definitely includes nuanced cases, I felt like they followed a format of, client experiences some angst, Atlas helps the client draw an insight to their family of origin, and then this insight pretty much does all the work of aiding the client’s recovery. I know insight is a cornerstone of psychoanalytic and dynamic approaches though this portrayal almost felt a bit too convenient for me at times. I also felt iffy about a couple of things Atlas wrote about in relation to sociocultural issues. While generally I thought she did a nice job of addressing issues like the restrictive norms of masculinity, there was one comment for example she made about a certain sexual act between a man and a woman meaning X thing, which I found a kind of odd, heteronormative, and somewhat gender-stereotypical/binary statement.
A sometimes interesting and sometimes not-too-interesting book that follows four people who struggle with mental illness, as well as the auth3.5 stars
A sometimes interesting and sometimes not-too-interesting book that follows four people who struggle with mental illness, as well as the author’s experience of anorexia as a child. Starting with some of my perceived negatives before going into the positives, I thought that a couple sections of Strangers to Ourselves just felt boring to read (e.g., “Ray,” “Bapu”.) In these sections, Rachel Aviv’s writing didn’t come alive to me and I felt like I was reading a series of facts as opposed to something more stylistically compelling. I also wonder if the book would have benefitted from a more explicit unifying theme.
However, other sections of this book impressed me a lot. For example, the section about Naomi Gaines, a Black woman who struggles with schizophrenia, did a great job of capturing how anti-Black racism and incarceration interact with mental health symptoms. I also enjoyed how Aviv explored the nuances of psychotropic medication in “Laura” and touched on the impacts of colonialism in “Bapu.” While I had leaned toward giving the book three stars, the epilogue “Hava,” in which Aviv writes about a girl who she met during her inpatient treatment for anorexia and what happened to her afterward, touched my heart. Though I don’t think Strangers to Ourselves achieves this on every page, at its finest, it speaks to the importance of destigmatizing mental illness and creating a world where people can heal and thrive even from difficult circumstances....more
I liked Erica Sánchez’s honest, unguarded, and humorous writing about a range of topics including chronic pain, colorism, and religion and spiritualitI liked Erica Sánchez’s honest, unguarded, and humorous writing about a range of topics including chronic pain, colorism, and religion and spirituality. A few times in the memoir, I felt her writing came across as almost a little too conversational and unfocused which reduced the compelling-ness of her story. However, in the last 25% or so of the memoir when she writes about her depression, I felt immersed again in her narrative. I think this final 25% serves as the strongest part of Crying in the Bathroom, as it integrates Sánchez’s funny tone with a gripping story of trying to find the right treatment for depression as well as finally landing a romantic partner that feels like the right fit. When she wrote about her beautiful husband of color and made fun of Tony who believes in blue lives matter I was like lolol get it!
Overall, I enjoyed this memoir, especially the sincerity in which she wrote about her mental health and how those struggles related to her identity as a Latina woman. I didn’t really detract a star for this, though I do think penis size-shaming and preferring tall men (both instances in the memoir that were very subtle) contribute to patriarchy and outdated gender role norms of men as like, towering paternalistic caregivers, which yikes. These are things I notice in a lot of media though and not solely this memoir....more
Wonderful book that emphasizes applications of mindfulness and self-compassion for obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). The authors’ writing is clear Wonderful book that emphasizes applications of mindfulness and self-compassion for obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). The authors’ writing is clear and kind, understandable to a general audience without sacrificing any intellectual rigor. I especially enjoyed how the authors applied principles of mindfulness and self-compassion to exposure response prevention, the leading treatment for OCD. The authors detail too ERP games for OCD mastery and strategies for long-term mastery of OCD such as tips and tricks for relapse prevention. Big kudos to the authors for sharing vulnerably about their own experiences of OCD – we need more of this destigmatizing behavior in the psychology field!
Two small constructive critiques of the book: first, I wish the authors had more explicitly acknowledged the role of eastern philosophy in the development of Buddhism instead of whitewashing it. Second, at one point the authors write that people with OCD “are considerate, incredibly compassionate, and overflowing with empathy.” While I understand the authors want to reduce the stigma around OCD, I always feel a bit iffy when people make general statements about any group of people, including groups of people with mental illness/mental health difficulties. I feel like people deserve compassionate treatment even if they aren’t necessarily compassionate or extremely empathetic, and I also think it may put negative pressure on people to live up to those ideals as well (e.g., someone with OCD may feel a lot of pressure to be extremely empathetic after having been described as such).
Still, a worthwhile book for those with OCD, those who know care about someone with OCD, or someone generally interested in the topic....more
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