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384 pages, ebook
First published June 28, 2016
She had always suspected that if chewing-gum flavours were political regimes, peppermint would be Fascism – totalitarian, sterile, stern.Her parents, Mensure and Selma Nalbantoğlu were like two different poles to their own planet. Divided into two zones, Selma was Dar al-Islam and Mensure Dar al-harp – the realm of submission and the realm of war.
Over the years, Mensur and Selma’s marriage had hardened into a hollow husk. Now the shell cracked wide open and they found themselves on separate sides of the rift. The air inside the house turned stifling, heavy, as if it had absorbed the sadness of its inhabitants. It seemed to young Peri that no sooner had the bees and the moths entered through the open windows, than they rushed in panic to fly out. Even those insatiable mosquitoes no longer sucked the Nalbantoğlus’ blood, for fear of ingesting their unhappiness.Selma promised Peri that Hell was so deep, it took seventy years for a pebble to reach Hell underground. Selma said it was Mensure's destiny. Mensure made Peri promise to include a pickaxe in his grave one day so that he could dig a tunnel out of wherever he ended up.
Well, I’m not really heaven material, no? There are two possibilities: if God has no sense of humour, I’m doomed. Express train to hell. If He has one, there’s hope, I might join you in paradise. They say they have rivers flowing with the best wine!’He was still fond of God though. Because He is lonely, Pericim, like me... like you. Besides, what was piousness other than selfishness in disguise. All prayers were always about 'me'. Protect me; give me money, give me a Ferrari, do this do that...!
God was a maze without a map, a circle without a centre; the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle that never seemed to fit together. If only she could solve this mystery, she could bring meaning to senselessness, reason to madness, order to chaos, and perhaps, too, she could learn to be happy.The photo confronted a secret from long ago...
Whether men or women, it was always people with rough journeys in their pasts, uncertainty in their eyes and invisible wounds in their souls that intrigued her. Generous with her time and loyal to the bone, she befriended these select few with an unflagging commitment and loveThat fateful night after the mugging, a psychic draw three figures on a napkin for Peri. Under the first one was written: ‘She Saw Evil.’ Under the second: ‘She Heard Evil.’ And under the third were these words: ‘She Did Evil.’
“She and Mona and I. The three of us: the Sinner, the Believer, the Confused.”