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351 pages, Paperback
First published July 9, 2013
“Have you ever heard of supernovas? They shine brighter than anything else in the sky and then fade out really quickly, a short burst of extraordinary energy. I like to think you and Ben were like that... in that short time, you had more passion than some people have in a lifetime.”
My eyes are parched from crying, my limbs weak… I shuffle over to Ben’s side of the bed as I get groggy and fall asleep. “I love you,” I say, and for the first time, there’s no one to hear it.
“I wanted you to have his wallet and this.”
She pulls his wedding ring out of her purse.
I was wrong.
I do have triggers.
I start crying. I put that wedding ring on him myself, my hand shaking while his was steady as a rock. I remember seeing it on him the next day thinking that I never knew how sexy a wedding was on a man until it was my ring, until I put it there.
…
“I loved him, Susan,” I say… “I loved him so much.”
“I know you did,” she says. “He kept a copy of his proposal in his wallet. Did you know that?”
I perk up. She hands the paper to me, and I read it.
“Elsie, let’s spend our lives together. Let’s have children together and buy a house together. I want you there when I get the promotion I’ve been shooting for, when I get turned down for something I’ve always hoped for, when I fall and when I stand back up. I want to see every day of your life unfold. I want to be yours and to have you as my own. Will you marry me? Marry me.”
"Think they'll card me?" he says. We both laugh, even though it wasn't that funny. We have to find little ways to smile. No matter how strong you are, no matter how smart you are or tough you can be, the world will find a way to break you. And when it does, the only thing you can do is hold on.