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Hades Hangmen #1
It Ain't Me, Babe
Sinning never felt so good… A fortuitous encounter. A meeting that should never have happened.
Many years ago, two children from completely different worlds forged a connection, a fateful connection, an unbreakable bond that would change their lives forever…
Salome knows only one way to live—under Prophet David’s rule. In the commune she calls home, Salome knows nothing of life beyond her strict faith, nor of life beyond the Fence—the fence that cages her, keeps her trapped in an endless cycle of misery. A life she believes she is destined to always lead, until a horrific event sets her free.
Fleeing the absolute safety of all she has ever known, Salome is thrust into the world outside, a frightening world full of uncertainty and sin; into the protective arms of a person she believed she would never see again.
River ‘Styx’ Nash knows one thing for certain in life—he was born and bred to wear a cut. Raised in a turbulent world of sex, Harleys, and drugs, Styx, unexpectedly has the heavy burden of the Hades Hangmen gavel thrust upon him, and all at the ripe old age of twenty-six—much to his rivals’ delight.
Haunted by a crushing speech impediment, Styx quickly learns to deal with his haters. Powerful fists, an iron jaw and the skillful use of his treasured German blade has earned him a fearsome reputation as a man not to be messed with in the shadowy world of outlaw MC’s. A reputation that successfully keeps most people far, far away.
Styx has one rule in life—never let anyone get too close. It’s a plan that he has stuck to for years, that is, until a young woman is found injured on his lot… a woman who looks uncannily familiar, a woman who clearly does not belong in his world, yet a woman he feels reluctant to let go…
The Hades Hangmen series has been taken down from Amazon and is no longer for sale.
Many years ago, two children from completely different worlds forged a connection, a fateful connection, an unbreakable bond that would change their lives forever…
Salome knows only one way to live—under Prophet David’s rule. In the commune she calls home, Salome knows nothing of life beyond her strict faith, nor of life beyond the Fence—the fence that cages her, keeps her trapped in an endless cycle of misery. A life she believes she is destined to always lead, until a horrific event sets her free.
Fleeing the absolute safety of all she has ever known, Salome is thrust into the world outside, a frightening world full of uncertainty and sin; into the protective arms of a person she believed she would never see again.
River ‘Styx’ Nash knows one thing for certain in life—he was born and bred to wear a cut. Raised in a turbulent world of sex, Harleys, and drugs, Styx, unexpectedly has the heavy burden of the Hades Hangmen gavel thrust upon him, and all at the ripe old age of twenty-six—much to his rivals’ delight.
Haunted by a crushing speech impediment, Styx quickly learns to deal with his haters. Powerful fists, an iron jaw and the skillful use of his treasured German blade has earned him a fearsome reputation as a man not to be messed with in the shadowy world of outlaw MC’s. A reputation that successfully keeps most people far, far away.
Styx has one rule in life—never let anyone get too close. It’s a plan that he has stuck to for years, that is, until a young woman is found injured on his lot… a woman who looks uncannily familiar, a woman who clearly does not belong in his world, yet a woman he feels reluctant to let go…
The Hades Hangmen series has been taken down from Amazon and is no longer for sale.
466 pages, Kindle Edition
First published April 26, 2014
About the author
Tillie Cole
46 books24.4k followersAmazon & USA Today Best Selling Author, Tillie Cole, is a Northern girl through and through. She originates from a place called Teesside on that little but awesomely sunny (okay I exaggerate) Isle called Great Britain. She was brought up surrounded by her English rose mother -- a farmer's daughter, her crazy Scottish father, a savagely sarcastic sister and a multitude of rescue animals and horses.
Being a scary blend of Scottish and English, Tillie embraces both cultures; her English heritage through her love of HP sauce and freshly made Yorkshire Puddings, and her Scottish which is mostly demonstrated by her frighteningly foul-mouthed episodes of pure rage and her much loved dirty jokes.
Having been born and raised as a Teesside Smoggie, Tillie, at age nineteen, moved forty miles north to the 'Toon', Newcastle-Upon-Tyne, where she attended Newcastle University and graduated with a Bachelor of Arts honours degree in Religious Studies. She returned two years later to complete a Post-Graduate Certificate in Teaching High School Social Studies. Tillie, regards Newcastle to be a home from home and enjoyed the Newcastle Geordie way of life for seven 'proper mint' and 'lush' years.
One summers day, after finishing reading her thousandth book on her much loved and treasured Kindle, Tillie turned to her husband and declared, "D'you know, I have a great idea for a story. I could write a book." Several months later, after repeating the same tired line at the close of another completed story, she was scolded by her husband to shut up talking about writing a novel and "just bloody do it!" For the first time in eleven years, Tillie actually took his advice (he is still trying to get over the shock) and immediately set off on a crazy journey, delving deep into her fertile imagination.
Tillie, ever since, has written from the heart. She combines her passion for anything camp and glittery with her love of humour and dark brooding men (most often muscled and tattooed – they’re her weakness!). She also has a serious side (believe it or not!) and loves to immerse herself in the complex study of World Religions, History and Cultural Studies and creates fantasy stories that enable her to thread serious issues and topics into her writing -- yep, there's more to this girl than profanity and sparkles!
After six years of teaching high school Social Studies and following her Professional Rugby Player husband around Europe, they have finally given up their nomadic way of life and settled in Calgary, Alberta where Tillie spends most of her days (and many a late night) lost in a writing euphoria or pursuing a dazzling career as a barrel-racing, tasselled-chap wearing, Stetson-sporting cowgirl... Ye-haw!
Being a scary blend of Scottish and English, Tillie embraces both cultures; her English heritage through her love of HP sauce and freshly made Yorkshire Puddings, and her Scottish which is mostly demonstrated by her frighteningly foul-mouthed episodes of pure rage and her much loved dirty jokes.
Having been born and raised as a Teesside Smoggie, Tillie, at age nineteen, moved forty miles north to the 'Toon', Newcastle-Upon-Tyne, where she attended Newcastle University and graduated with a Bachelor of Arts honours degree in Religious Studies. She returned two years later to complete a Post-Graduate Certificate in Teaching High School Social Studies. Tillie, regards Newcastle to be a home from home and enjoyed the Newcastle Geordie way of life for seven 'proper mint' and 'lush' years.
One summers day, after finishing reading her thousandth book on her much loved and treasured Kindle, Tillie turned to her husband and declared, "D'you know, I have a great idea for a story. I could write a book." Several months later, after repeating the same tired line at the close of another completed story, she was scolded by her husband to shut up talking about writing a novel and "just bloody do it!" For the first time in eleven years, Tillie actually took his advice (he is still trying to get over the shock) and immediately set off on a crazy journey, delving deep into her fertile imagination.
Tillie, ever since, has written from the heart. She combines her passion for anything camp and glittery with her love of humour and dark brooding men (most often muscled and tattooed – they’re her weakness!). She also has a serious side (believe it or not!) and loves to immerse herself in the complex study of World Religions, History and Cultural Studies and creates fantasy stories that enable her to thread serious issues and topics into her writing -- yep, there's more to this girl than profanity and sparkles!
After six years of teaching high school Social Studies and following her Professional Rugby Player husband around Europe, they have finally given up their nomadic way of life and settled in Calgary, Alberta where Tillie spends most of her days (and many a late night) lost in a writing euphoria or pursuing a dazzling career as a barrel-racing, tasselled-chap wearing, Stetson-sporting cowgirl... Ye-haw!
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 5,854 reviews
July 10, 2015
DNF @56 %, 1 star. Full review posted May 2, 2014
I didn't find him particularly hot or interesting but that's just my opinion.
Some parts made me roll my eyes and other parts made me...
I'm all for escapism. Still, I just need some kind of realism in my books and in my opinion It Ain't Me, Babe reads like a crude fairytale. What bugged me as well were the inconsistencies. Let's talk about the heroine. She's been In real life there wouldn't have been any lovey-dovey-provide-me-with-a-healing-orgasm kind of help, kindly offered by Mr. Wannabe Badass.
At 22 %: I really cried for the first time in my life. That's not true. Well, and after that allegedly first cry she didn't run dry. The tears flowed without restriction.
This and yet the first time she kissed Styx, she…excuse my French…offered him her f@cking soul. Her. First. Kiss. It made me roll my effin’ eyes. Seriously, she has no effin’ clue about life in general but she invests her soul in that kiss. Riiight. Maybe when pigs fly.
The heroine is UNDERNOURISHED, she's thin and very small and yet her tits are so big they spill out over his fingers. Mind you, the hero is six feet four inches tall and weighs 230 pounds. They must be HUGE considering how big his hands are. Yep, Baba makes eyes as big as saucers too. O__O
Her eyes were as big as motherfuckin' saucers and her pink lips popped open with a gasp. She didn't speak, just…stared.
What a LOL moment...
Then that nose twitched, and my cut covering her naked body fell to the floor, leaving her naked, on offer like a damn platter. Bare-assed naked, perfect curves on show--heavy tits, tight fuckin' frame. Wolf eyes hooded, pink lips moist, ready for me to make her come…for the first time in her bastard life. Begging me with her eyes to make her come so damn hard.
"River…" A plea. A breathy, desperate plea slipped from her lips, like she was channelling her inner Marilyn Monroe or something. The voodoo possessive shit took hold of my controls once again.(…)
"Styx.." she hushed out, riding a small, needy moan. Her nipples were like damn bullets, her hips slowly rocking with need. "It is you…It has always been you…"
Her eyes cracked open at the loss of my weight and a tiny smirk tugged on her lips. She drank me in--every cut muscle, shredded arm, bulging vein, every inch of ink. She loved it, creamin' at what she saw. I knew I looked good. That's not arrogance; I worked hard and knew I was cut.
When I’m reading a book I try to draw a picture of the characters in my mind. I also try to make a connection between the characters, their speech pattern as well as their actions. My problem was that Styx did not feel authentic to me. I get it that biker speech is rough and crude. Although there's no getting round it to point out how extremely limited Styx's vocabulary is. Besides, the way he spoke felt oddly off to me. Was he really that bad-ass guy or did he just try way too hard? It's strange but I couldn't get a handle on the man and his character and I never connected with the MCs emotionally. Frankly, I found the characterizations one-dimensional and perfunctory.
When I look back at their first real make-out session….geez…Styx acted like an ape beating his chest. King Kong meets Yikes. It's nice to know that he stopped in time, though.
A cheese fest...
Also, getting a character shitfaced, spewing crude language left and right, repeating bitch a thousand times (yes, I got that too, it's biker speech), blowing a fuse all the time, and telling us about the sexcapades don't make for a great biker story, IMO. Plus, letting the cheese seep through the pages doesn’t help one iota to make a book more bad-ass either. Whatever the case may be, the protagonists annoyed me and I found the writing anything but compelling and too clichéd and very repetitive (she was oh-so beautiful and stunningly amazing, her nose twitched one too many times and after a while I've had enough of her wolf eyes). Of course he was beautiful too and the most amazing sight yadda yadda yadda. I was tired of getting their physical features shoved down my throat ad f@cking nauseam. I wanted to end my boredom, so I had to quit.
James Blunt -- You're Beautiful
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MK2up_...
On a positive note: I love the cover and I really liked that Styx was disabled. Besides, I did appreciate the author’s effort to include the cult in the storyline. I’m definitely interested in checking out more books that deal with that subject matter in the future. Looking at the big picture, however, the book is not a shiny example and failed big time. Unfortunately it's nowhere as good as Susan Fanetti's Signal Bend series. Just my opinion, though. It's obvious that biker stories are a big hit at the moment, yet not every author is skilled enough to write a really good one.
Movin’ on…
I didn't find him particularly hot or interesting but that's just my opinion.
Some parts made me roll my eyes and other parts made me...
I'm all for escapism. Still, I just need some kind of realism in my books and in my opinion It Ain't Me, Babe reads like a crude fairytale. What bugged me as well were the inconsistencies. Let's talk about the heroine. She's been In real life there wouldn't have been any lovey-dovey-provide-me-with-a-healing-orgasm kind of help, kindly offered by Mr. Wannabe Badass.
At 22 %: I really cried for the first time in my life. That's not true. Well, and after that allegedly first cry she didn't run dry. The tears flowed without restriction.
This and yet the first time she kissed Styx, she…excuse my French…offered him her f@cking soul. Her. First. Kiss. It made me roll my effin’ eyes. Seriously, she has no effin’ clue about life in general but she invests her soul in that kiss. Riiight. Maybe when pigs fly.
The heroine is UNDERNOURISHED, she's thin and very small and yet her tits are so big they spill out over his fingers. Mind you, the hero is six feet four inches tall and weighs 230 pounds. They must be HUGE considering how big his hands are. Yep, Baba makes eyes as big as saucers too. O__O
Her eyes were as big as motherfuckin' saucers and her pink lips popped open with a gasp. She didn't speak, just…stared.
What a LOL moment...
Then that nose twitched, and my cut covering her naked body fell to the floor, leaving her naked, on offer like a damn platter. Bare-assed naked, perfect curves on show--heavy tits, tight fuckin' frame. Wolf eyes hooded, pink lips moist, ready for me to make her come…for the first time in her bastard life. Begging me with her eyes to make her come so damn hard.
"River…" A plea. A breathy, desperate plea slipped from her lips, like she was channelling her inner Marilyn Monroe or something. The voodoo possessive shit took hold of my controls once again.(…)
"Styx.." she hushed out, riding a small, needy moan. Her nipples were like damn bullets, her hips slowly rocking with need. "It is you…It has always been you…"
Her eyes cracked open at the loss of my weight and a tiny smirk tugged on her lips. She drank me in--every cut muscle, shredded arm, bulging vein, every inch of ink. She loved it, creamin' at what she saw. I knew I looked good. That's not arrogance; I worked hard and knew I was cut.
When I’m reading a book I try to draw a picture of the characters in my mind. I also try to make a connection between the characters, their speech pattern as well as their actions. My problem was that Styx did not feel authentic to me. I get it that biker speech is rough and crude. Although there's no getting round it to point out how extremely limited Styx's vocabulary is. Besides, the way he spoke felt oddly off to me. Was he really that bad-ass guy or did he just try way too hard? It's strange but I couldn't get a handle on the man and his character and I never connected with the MCs emotionally. Frankly, I found the characterizations one-dimensional and perfunctory.
When I look back at their first real make-out session….geez…Styx acted like an ape beating his chest. King Kong meets Yikes. It's nice to know that he stopped in time, though.
A cheese fest...
Also, getting a character shitfaced, spewing crude language left and right, repeating bitch a thousand times (yes, I got that too, it's biker speech), blowing a fuse all the time, and telling us about the sexcapades don't make for a great biker story, IMO. Plus, letting the cheese seep through the pages doesn’t help one iota to make a book more bad-ass either. Whatever the case may be, the protagonists annoyed me and I found the writing anything but compelling and too clichéd and very repetitive (she was oh-so beautiful and stunningly amazing, her nose twitched one too many times and after a while I've had enough of her wolf eyes). Of course he was beautiful too and the most amazing sight yadda yadda yadda. I was tired of getting their physical features shoved down my throat ad f@cking nauseam. I wanted to end my boredom, so I had to quit.
James Blunt -- You're Beautiful
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MK2up_...
On a positive note: I love the cover and I really liked that Styx was disabled. Besides, I did appreciate the author’s effort to include the cult in the storyline. I’m definitely interested in checking out more books that deal with that subject matter in the future. Looking at the big picture, however, the book is not a shiny example and failed big time. Unfortunately it's nowhere as good as Susan Fanetti's Signal Bend series. Just my opinion, though. It's obvious that biker stories are a big hit at the moment, yet not every author is skilled enough to write a really good one.
Movin’ on…
February 9, 2017
Re-read 1/10/17: After watching a marathon of Leah Remini's show on Scientology I felt like reading some cult action lol...Cue Tillie Cole!
image:
Review:
Holy Scorch my Biker Ovaries, Batman.
Just as wicked awesome the 10 millionth time around...
My Styx...
My Mae...
image:
Review:
Holy Scorch my Biker Ovaries, Batman.
Just as wicked awesome the 10 millionth time around...
My Styx...
My Mae...
March 26, 2022
5 It has always been you Stars
*There will be some spoilers*
First read Dec 2015
Reread May 2017
Reread 3/26/2022 (note) Still just as amazing. Still Hate Cain/Rider!!!
“Off-limits. Y’all get that now? She’s under my protection and is none of your fuckin’ business. Any one of you goes near her and I’ll kill y’all. That’s a fuckin’ iron-clad promise,”-Styx
“I am truly happy that I got to see you again. I thought about you often, the boy behind the fence, the boy on the outside… the boy who stole my first and only kiss, and I nightly prayed for your safety and happiness. It is a ritual I will forever keep.”-Mae
HOLY FUCKIN' SHIT!!!!!!!!!! This book blew me away. This beautiful, dark, twisted, and exciting book drove me over the edge, and had me losing my shit. I mean really losing my shit, like hyperventilating I even got dizzy. I had to stop at one point and just breathe. Now that is some talented writing. Tillie Cole hats off to you, for writing something that wrung every emotion out of me. I felt everything.
“You were displeased. I was providing you with pleasure. As a woman, that is what is expected of me. It is selfish and a sin to deny you pleasure.” I swallowed back the growl about to let rip from my throat. “Y-you do that a lot wh-where you from? G-get fucked like a d-damn sex-slave?” She hesitated for a moment, eyebrows drawn, then nodded reluctantly. That did it. I stood and had to shake out my shoulders. I needed to fight. Hurt someone. “Th-that how you fucked, b-babe? Were you f-forced into that sh-shit?” Hearing the catch of breath, I turned to hear the answer. “It is essential for sharing the Lord’s love, for the sacrificial exchange of bodies. For the leaders of my people… for the men of my people… I… I did not have a choice in this act… None of the sisters did.”-Mae and Styx
“I-I just g-got you. I t-tried to stay away, do the right thing. B-because I ain’t no good for you. But fuck, I want you so b-bad I feel like I-I c-can’t breathe. Can’t p-push you away n-no more. Need to have you c-close.”-Styx
Styx was raised in the MC. His dad who died last year was the MC President. Now that job falls on Styx's shoulders at the age of 26. Called the Hangman Mute, because he stutters so bad he can't speak, he had to earn their respect the hard way. 15 years earlier when his father and some others were dumping bodies out in a woods he came across a fenced in area that looked like a prison. There he seen an angel. Wearing weird clothes, crying, she had black hair, beautiful blue wolf like eyes. That day he kissed her through the fence to try to make her happy. For years he had tried to find that place again, he never did , but he never forgot her. So when he finds her 15 years later bleeding to death on his club property, all those old feelings come rushing back. One look and he knows it's her, and he knows he has to protect her. But with an unknown enemy out there and war looming can he keep his Mae safe?
“I have only ever liked one boy in my life. I have only wanted one man to have as my own. I have only ever had one dream since I was eight. Styx, the dream is you. You stole my heart fifteen years ago and you still haven’t given it back.”-Mae
My Styx:
“I w-want you too. F-fuck, I want you in m-my bed, by my side, on m-my bike. I w-want you as m-my old lady. Taking c-care of me, n-needing me… letting me inside you.”-Styx
Mae was raised in religious commune cult, where their leader, Prophet David, let all the girls ages 8 and up be raped in what was called the lord's sharing. completely shielded from the outside world, and brainwashed since birth by the teachings of the Prophet David, Mae is told that she is to become the 7th wife of Prophet David on her 23rd birthday which will save her people. On the day of her wedding she finds her sister Bella who as been missing for weeks. Bella is dying, locked in a cage where she was raped, whipped and beaten to the point of death. There holding Bella's hand she sees that everything she was taught was wrong, so when Bella dies a few minutes later, she runs. Escaping, but hurt badly Mae ends up passing out in alley and waking up to a new and scary world filled with what looks like evil. Can Mae find her place in this new world that feels so foreign to her. Can she start a life of freedom and love with Styx or will her past come back and drag her home?
“He is everything to me. I see everything in him. We share something no one else can understand.”-Mae
My Mae:
“Yeah, b-babe, I’m evil. I’ve s-sinned more than you’d b-believe.” I ran my hands down my face. “Truth t-time. I’m bad… p-p-poisoned to my fuckin’ damned s-soul.”-Styx
Omg I loved Styx. He was hard, gritty, and raw. He was a biker through and through. Blood on his hands, but he was good to Mae. Loyal to his men. Totally bad ass with a knife. Styx was sexy as hell! Poor Mae bless her heart. The shit she lived through made me sick. Mae was a fighter, a survivor, and she had a good in her that shined. They didn't break her. She was brave. I loved Mae's character she had such strength. Styx and Mae together were beautiful. Their connection was strong and powerful. Tons of chemistry. Styx was sweet with Mae, gentle. The way he sang and played the guitar for her, and then he taught her to play. So sweet! Mae accepted Styx for him and he was able to relax and just be himself with her. She shined and rediscovered herself with him and he found peace.
“She fell in love with the dark lord, even though it did not seem right, did she not?” I nodded again. Where the hell is she going with this? She sighed happily and blushed. “Just like I have done with you.” I stilled and, putting my hand on her face, thrust her back, catching the blush creeping up her pale cheeks. Was she saying she loved me? Fuck. She was saying she fuckin’ loved me. I slammed my lips to hers and shifted her up on my hardening cock. Breaking away with a gasp, Mae asked shakily, “Did Hades love Persephone in return? Against the complaints of others, did he want her to stay by his side too?” Exhaling hard, I replied, “Yeah… yeah, he d-did… a wh-whole fuckin’ lot.” -Mae and Styx
“What the fuck happened with the skinheads?” Took out seven with my Uzis. Then got caught, carved up. I managed to get my Bowie from my cut, plucked out the last two fuckers’ eyes and made them eat that shit. Then I smashed up their skulls just to be sure, slit throats and stabbed hearts.” “Shit, Styx,” Ky said in a tight voice and swallowed back bile. “You’re one sick motherfucker. Effective, but sick.”-Ky and Styx
I loved the other gang members, especially Flame. There is something wrong with me I know, but I'm just drawn to the broken ones. I wanna fix em I can't help it. And God is Flame 10 kinds of fuckered up. Rider(Cain) I don't know how it happened, but in the course of one book, I went from loving him and feeling sorry for him, to hating him and finding him unredeemable. The shit he pulls, I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive him. I seen that he get his own book which will be book 4, but Tillie Cole has really got her work cut out for her if she wants me to see good in that man. Especially after he set Pit up, let him be beat, tortured and killed. And he watched it for God sake. And don't even get me started on what he did to Mae and Styx cuzz it makes me want to gut a fictional character.
“I know you think I have betrayed you, but everything was real, Mae. Us, our friendship, everything I said… especially the way I feel about you.” He edged closer to me and I held up my hand, signaling him to stop. He did so. “Really? Was it all real, Rider—Oops! I mean Cain! Forgive me if your kidnapping me and returning me here, to Hell, can be construed as a mere slight against me.”-Cain(Rider) and Mae
“Have you ever been part of a Lord’s sharing? Have you ever seen an eight-year-old girl raped, her legs pried apart by a bear trap because she was too scared to understand what was happening to her? Have you ever forced yourself inside a child, Cain, because you believe it will help you get closer to God and because the prophet deemed it so? Well, have you?” He went eerily still. “Well?” I pushed. “Did that happen to you? Here?” he asked through clenched teeth and I frowned, unable to find my words. “Mae! Answer me! Were you… taken as a child… like… that?”-Mae and Cain(Rider)
MC books have to walk a fine line with me. They are either a hit or a miss, because I can't stand cheating or woman beatin', but they can't be sappy pussies either. That is a hard line to walk bad, rule breaker , but not crossing that line into dickhead and this book did it perfectly. This book was amazing. I have never read a book by Tillie Cole before, but after one book I am hooked. I can't wait to see what else she has in store for this series.
“NO! Listen to me, Styx.” I gave her a nod and gripped my hands on her tiny fuckin’ waist. “This is no cage.” Her arms motioned to the clubhouse. “It is freedom. For the first time in my life, I feel wanted… like I finally belong. There is nowhere on Earth I would rather be than here with you. You do not cage me, Styx. You make me soar.”-Mae
“Fuckin’ l-love it, babe. L-love you in m-my life, on the b-back of my bike, in m-my bed, wrapped ’round m-my cock, and w-wearing my name on your back. You’re n-never l-leaving me, babe. Y-you’re in with m-me for life. The good, the b-bad, the f-fuckin’ crazy. M-met you as a kid, a damn m-mute. You g-gave me a voice. You g-gave me a life. You’re i-it, babe. You’re m-my whole f-fuckin’ world.”-Styx
*There will be some spoilers*
First read Dec 2015
Reread May 2017
Reread 3/26/2022 (note) Still just as amazing. Still Hate Cain/Rider!!!
“Off-limits. Y’all get that now? She’s under my protection and is none of your fuckin’ business. Any one of you goes near her and I’ll kill y’all. That’s a fuckin’ iron-clad promise,”-Styx
“I am truly happy that I got to see you again. I thought about you often, the boy behind the fence, the boy on the outside… the boy who stole my first and only kiss, and I nightly prayed for your safety and happiness. It is a ritual I will forever keep.”-Mae
HOLY FUCKIN' SHIT!!!!!!!!!! This book blew me away. This beautiful, dark, twisted, and exciting book drove me over the edge, and had me losing my shit. I mean really losing my shit, like hyperventilating I even got dizzy. I had to stop at one point and just breathe. Now that is some talented writing. Tillie Cole hats off to you, for writing something that wrung every emotion out of me. I felt everything.
“You were displeased. I was providing you with pleasure. As a woman, that is what is expected of me. It is selfish and a sin to deny you pleasure.” I swallowed back the growl about to let rip from my throat. “Y-you do that a lot wh-where you from? G-get fucked like a d-damn sex-slave?” She hesitated for a moment, eyebrows drawn, then nodded reluctantly. That did it. I stood and had to shake out my shoulders. I needed to fight. Hurt someone. “Th-that how you fucked, b-babe? Were you f-forced into that sh-shit?” Hearing the catch of breath, I turned to hear the answer. “It is essential for sharing the Lord’s love, for the sacrificial exchange of bodies. For the leaders of my people… for the men of my people… I… I did not have a choice in this act… None of the sisters did.”-Mae and Styx
“I-I just g-got you. I t-tried to stay away, do the right thing. B-because I ain’t no good for you. But fuck, I want you so b-bad I feel like I-I c-can’t breathe. Can’t p-push you away n-no more. Need to have you c-close.”-Styx
Styx was raised in the MC. His dad who died last year was the MC President. Now that job falls on Styx's shoulders at the age of 26. Called the Hangman Mute, because he stutters so bad he can't speak, he had to earn their respect the hard way. 15 years earlier when his father and some others were dumping bodies out in a woods he came across a fenced in area that looked like a prison. There he seen an angel. Wearing weird clothes, crying, she had black hair, beautiful blue wolf like eyes. That day he kissed her through the fence to try to make her happy. For years he had tried to find that place again, he never did , but he never forgot her. So when he finds her 15 years later bleeding to death on his club property, all those old feelings come rushing back. One look and he knows it's her, and he knows he has to protect her. But with an unknown enemy out there and war looming can he keep his Mae safe?
“I have only ever liked one boy in my life. I have only wanted one man to have as my own. I have only ever had one dream since I was eight. Styx, the dream is you. You stole my heart fifteen years ago and you still haven’t given it back.”-Mae
My Styx:
“I w-want you too. F-fuck, I want you in m-my bed, by my side, on m-my bike. I w-want you as m-my old lady. Taking c-care of me, n-needing me… letting me inside you.”-Styx
Mae was raised in religious commune cult, where their leader, Prophet David, let all the girls ages 8 and up be raped in what was called the lord's sharing. completely shielded from the outside world, and brainwashed since birth by the teachings of the Prophet David, Mae is told that she is to become the 7th wife of Prophet David on her 23rd birthday which will save her people. On the day of her wedding she finds her sister Bella who as been missing for weeks. Bella is dying, locked in a cage where she was raped, whipped and beaten to the point of death. There holding Bella's hand she sees that everything she was taught was wrong, so when Bella dies a few minutes later, she runs. Escaping, but hurt badly Mae ends up passing out in alley and waking up to a new and scary world filled with what looks like evil. Can Mae find her place in this new world that feels so foreign to her. Can she start a life of freedom and love with Styx or will her past come back and drag her home?
“He is everything to me. I see everything in him. We share something no one else can understand.”-Mae
My Mae:
“Yeah, b-babe, I’m evil. I’ve s-sinned more than you’d b-believe.” I ran my hands down my face. “Truth t-time. I’m bad… p-p-poisoned to my fuckin’ damned s-soul.”-Styx
Omg I loved Styx. He was hard, gritty, and raw. He was a biker through and through. Blood on his hands, but he was good to Mae. Loyal to his men. Totally bad ass with a knife. Styx was sexy as hell! Poor Mae bless her heart. The shit she lived through made me sick. Mae was a fighter, a survivor, and she had a good in her that shined. They didn't break her. She was brave. I loved Mae's character she had such strength. Styx and Mae together were beautiful. Their connection was strong and powerful. Tons of chemistry. Styx was sweet with Mae, gentle. The way he sang and played the guitar for her, and then he taught her to play. So sweet! Mae accepted Styx for him and he was able to relax and just be himself with her. She shined and rediscovered herself with him and he found peace.
“She fell in love with the dark lord, even though it did not seem right, did she not?” I nodded again. Where the hell is she going with this? She sighed happily and blushed. “Just like I have done with you.” I stilled and, putting my hand on her face, thrust her back, catching the blush creeping up her pale cheeks. Was she saying she loved me? Fuck. She was saying she fuckin’ loved me. I slammed my lips to hers and shifted her up on my hardening cock. Breaking away with a gasp, Mae asked shakily, “Did Hades love Persephone in return? Against the complaints of others, did he want her to stay by his side too?” Exhaling hard, I replied, “Yeah… yeah, he d-did… a wh-whole fuckin’ lot.” -Mae and Styx
“What the fuck happened with the skinheads?” Took out seven with my Uzis. Then got caught, carved up. I managed to get my Bowie from my cut, plucked out the last two fuckers’ eyes and made them eat that shit. Then I smashed up their skulls just to be sure, slit throats and stabbed hearts.” “Shit, Styx,” Ky said in a tight voice and swallowed back bile. “You’re one sick motherfucker. Effective, but sick.”-Ky and Styx
I loved the other gang members, especially Flame. There is something wrong with me I know, but I'm just drawn to the broken ones. I wanna fix em I can't help it. And God is Flame 10 kinds of fuckered up. Rider(Cain) I don't know how it happened, but in the course of one book, I went from loving him and feeling sorry for him, to hating him and finding him unredeemable. The shit he pulls, I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive him. I seen that he get his own book which will be book 4, but Tillie Cole has really got her work cut out for her if she wants me to see good in that man. Especially after he set Pit up, let him be beat, tortured and killed. And he watched it for God sake. And don't even get me started on what he did to Mae and Styx cuzz it makes me want to gut a fictional character.
“I know you think I have betrayed you, but everything was real, Mae. Us, our friendship, everything I said… especially the way I feel about you.” He edged closer to me and I held up my hand, signaling him to stop. He did so. “Really? Was it all real, Rider—Oops! I mean Cain! Forgive me if your kidnapping me and returning me here, to Hell, can be construed as a mere slight against me.”-Cain(Rider) and Mae
“Have you ever been part of a Lord’s sharing? Have you ever seen an eight-year-old girl raped, her legs pried apart by a bear trap because she was too scared to understand what was happening to her? Have you ever forced yourself inside a child, Cain, because you believe it will help you get closer to God and because the prophet deemed it so? Well, have you?” He went eerily still. “Well?” I pushed. “Did that happen to you? Here?” he asked through clenched teeth and I frowned, unable to find my words. “Mae! Answer me! Were you… taken as a child… like… that?”-Mae and Cain(Rider)
MC books have to walk a fine line with me. They are either a hit or a miss, because I can't stand cheating or woman beatin', but they can't be sappy pussies either. That is a hard line to walk bad, rule breaker , but not crossing that line into dickhead and this book did it perfectly. This book was amazing. I have never read a book by Tillie Cole before, but after one book I am hooked. I can't wait to see what else she has in store for this series.
“NO! Listen to me, Styx.” I gave her a nod and gripped my hands on her tiny fuckin’ waist. “This is no cage.” Her arms motioned to the clubhouse. “It is freedom. For the first time in my life, I feel wanted… like I finally belong. There is nowhere on Earth I would rather be than here with you. You do not cage me, Styx. You make me soar.”-Mae
“Fuckin’ l-love it, babe. L-love you in m-my life, on the b-back of my bike, in m-my bed, wrapped ’round m-my cock, and w-wearing my name on your back. You’re n-never l-leaving me, babe. Y-you’re in with m-me for life. The good, the b-bad, the f-fuckin’ crazy. M-met you as a kid, a damn m-mute. You g-gave me a voice. You g-gave me a life. You’re i-it, babe. You’re m-my whole f-fuckin’ world.”-Styx
March 5, 2023
***6 STARS***
I did something that I have not done in a very long time....I devoured a book. I savored each page and adored my time among the Hangmen MC.
River "Styx" and Salome "Mae" met as children and Styx is instantly in love and entranced by the girl with the blue wolf eyes. Years later Mae escapes from the cult commune she has been raised and abused in. She just happens to land at the compound of the Hangmen MC and is reunited with her long lost love. What transpires is a beautiful and gritty love story for the ages. And talk about a bad boy....Styx is it! And I love a flawed hero, someone that is not pristine and perfect. Styx has a speech impediment but still runs the MC as president and communicates his love to his woman.
I have been drowning in droll books for almost a couple of months and I want to thank Ms. Cole for re energizing me and and helping me to recall why I love to read in the first place. When you get a novel where you are captivated from the first word until the last and you HAVE TO finish it at all costs... you have a f*cking good book!
The characterization was varied and excellent lending to further books in the series. The pacing was perfect as you were swept away into the world of violence and vice but where true love overcomes all. It takes a truly talented author to pull off this type of book and I am so glad that I had a chance to read it. I cannot wait to read the rest of the series. Tillie Cole is now on my list of favorite authors as this is the second book of hers that I have relished in.
I honestly cannot think of a single negative for me. Beware that it is a "dark" romance and may be offensive to some. It touches on some very sensitive subjects such as child sexual abuse, religion, psychological and physical abuse. But it made us aware of what is happening somewhere in the world right now with young girls trapped in these cults and unable to escape.
I highly recommend!
To read this book review and more please visit www.anovelqueen.com.
I did something that I have not done in a very long time....I devoured a book. I savored each page and adored my time among the Hangmen MC.
River "Styx" and Salome "Mae" met as children and Styx is instantly in love and entranced by the girl with the blue wolf eyes. Years later Mae escapes from the cult commune she has been raised and abused in. She just happens to land at the compound of the Hangmen MC and is reunited with her long lost love. What transpires is a beautiful and gritty love story for the ages. And talk about a bad boy....Styx is it! And I love a flawed hero, someone that is not pristine and perfect. Styx has a speech impediment but still runs the MC as president and communicates his love to his woman.
I have been drowning in droll books for almost a couple of months and I want to thank Ms. Cole for re energizing me and and helping me to recall why I love to read in the first place. When you get a novel where you are captivated from the first word until the last and you HAVE TO finish it at all costs... you have a f*cking good book!
The characterization was varied and excellent lending to further books in the series. The pacing was perfect as you were swept away into the world of violence and vice but where true love overcomes all. It takes a truly talented author to pull off this type of book and I am so glad that I had a chance to read it. I cannot wait to read the rest of the series. Tillie Cole is now on my list of favorite authors as this is the second book of hers that I have relished in.
I honestly cannot think of a single negative for me. Beware that it is a "dark" romance and may be offensive to some. It touches on some very sensitive subjects such as child sexual abuse, religion, psychological and physical abuse. But it made us aware of what is happening somewhere in the world right now with young girls trapped in these cults and unable to escape.
I highly recommend!
To read this book review and more please visit www.anovelqueen.com.
November 28, 2021
4 stars!
It Ain’t Me Babe is a MC book that’s different from most. It’s raw and gritty, it’s still got the love and romance, but the bikers/religious cult mix made it more on the unique side. I love Tillie Cole’s writing style and this was another fast paced and powerful read from her.
This is the story of two people from two entirely different worlds. They met by chance once when they were younger and it was a day that changed both of their lives forever. Now fate has brought them back together again...
Mae has been known as ‘Salmoe’ most of her life. She is in her early twenties and grew up in a ‘community’ that is more like a cult. Being one of the most beautiful women there was not a blessing. It was a curse for her and her sisters. She went through unimaginable things, terrible things, and she got to the point where she couldn’t take it any more. She had to get out. So she did. Barely alive, she made it on the outside. Where she ended up was another ‘community’ of sorts. The Hangman’s MC.
Styx is the prez of the Hades’ Hangman MC and also known as the Hangman Mute.
Styx has led the life of a biker. A life full of violence, sex and riding. He’s got his best friend, Ky as his VP, he’s got his Harley, he’s got his fender and he’s got girls from the club. He’s got all he needs. Until Mae shows up. Mae with her wolf eyes, eyes he’s never forgotten. That one time Styx met Mae when he was younger has been forever burned in his brain. This girl is special to him and he doesn’t know why, but he can’t get her out of his head. He wants to save her, protect her, and keep her.
But it’s not an easy transition for either of them. Styx has club business and struggles with his feelings for Mae. Mae misses her sisters and doesn’t always understand life on the outside. She makes a close friend in the MC while Styx is away on business named Ryder. He helps her to get make sense of things.
No matter what things get in there way (and there are A LOT of obstacles for these two), Styx and Mae know they are meant to be.
Tillie Cole’s writing is fantastic. Her characters are strong and resilient. The story is unpredictable and suspenseful. It’s also got sweet and sexy moments. It’s a highly entertaining read. It Ain’t Me, Babe is a story that shows the power of love. Love can save you. Love can make you stronger. And love can conquer all.
It Ain’t Me Babe is a MC book that’s different from most. It’s raw and gritty, it’s still got the love and romance, but the bikers/religious cult mix made it more on the unique side. I love Tillie Cole’s writing style and this was another fast paced and powerful read from her.
This is the story of two people from two entirely different worlds. They met by chance once when they were younger and it was a day that changed both of their lives forever. Now fate has brought them back together again...
Mae has been known as ‘Salmoe’ most of her life. She is in her early twenties and grew up in a ‘community’ that is more like a cult. Being one of the most beautiful women there was not a blessing. It was a curse for her and her sisters. She went through unimaginable things, terrible things, and she got to the point where she couldn’t take it any more. She had to get out. So she did. Barely alive, she made it on the outside. Where she ended up was another ‘community’ of sorts. The Hangman’s MC.
Styx is the prez of the Hades’ Hangman MC and also known as the Hangman Mute.
Styx has led the life of a biker. A life full of violence, sex and riding. He’s got his best friend, Ky as his VP, he’s got his Harley, he’s got his fender and he’s got girls from the club. He’s got all he needs. Until Mae shows up. Mae with her wolf eyes, eyes he’s never forgotten. That one time Styx met Mae when he was younger has been forever burned in his brain. This girl is special to him and he doesn’t know why, but he can’t get her out of his head. He wants to save her, protect her, and keep her.
But it’s not an easy transition for either of them. Styx has club business and struggles with his feelings for Mae. Mae misses her sisters and doesn’t always understand life on the outside. She makes a close friend in the MC while Styx is away on business named Ryder. He helps her to get make sense of things.
No matter what things get in there way (and there are A LOT of obstacles for these two), Styx and Mae know they are meant to be.
“Styx... it is you... it has always been you...”Their journey isn’t easy. It’s brutally hard, traumatic, suspenseful and heartbreaking at times. But you will love this couple together. You will root for them. There is something about boys like Styx that make me love them extra hard. He was your normal biker in some ways, but there were also things about him that were different in the best way. I liked Mae a lot too. She had been through so much and I admired her adaptability and her willingness to fight for her man and herself till the very end.
“For the first time in my life, I feel wanted... like I finally belong. There is nowhere on Earth I would rather be than here with you. You do not cage me, Styx. You make me soar.”
Tillie Cole’s writing is fantastic. Her characters are strong and resilient. The story is unpredictable and suspenseful. It’s also got sweet and sexy moments. It’s a highly entertaining read. It Ain’t Me, Babe is a story that shows the power of love. Love can save you. Love can make you stronger. And love can conquer all.
We were always fated to be together. He is my everything. He is my entire world.... Styx is my salvation.
April 15, 2014
Hey all!
Okay, because I created this bad boy, I'm gonna give it 5 HUGE stars!!!! I'll be releasing lots of teasers too, so as I do, I'll add them on here, as well as my website, for you to check out.
But before all that fun stuff, I wanted to share with you why I wrote this book. Its subject matters are dark and gritty, and in parts, taboo. Many readers have messaged me to let me know how intrigued they are by the 'cult' aspect of this story and I wanted to give you some context, a reason for why I chose to write about a topic quite alien to most. It Ain't Me, Babe, is very different from my usual style. Please read below, for why this book is so important to me.
For my undergraduate degree, I studied Comparative Religion. Due to outstanding lecturers, many who were considered experts in their chosen field, I was given the opportunity to meet various people from an array of cultures and faiths.
One of my specialised areas of study in my final year was in ‘New Religious Movements (NRM’s), Cults and Sects’. I was lucky to meet, and work with, members and former members of such religious groups. Most were happy with their lifestyle choice, others were not. I would say that ninety percent of the people I interviewed and worked alongside belonged to the former, but I will never forget the harrowing, and sometimes disturbing, testimonies and witness statements from the latter.
Unfortunately, amongst the genuine and sincere members of some NRM’s, there are also a very small number of opportunists and individuals who, for reasons unbeknownst to most, choose to use religion, and its influence on innocent people, for their own personal gain—whether it be for power, control, or sadly, for something much more sordid.
‘It Ain’t Me, Babe’ was inspired by the testimonies of ex-members from several NRM’s and the leaders that abused the power they had over their members—especially the women.
The female protagonist in this novel, ‘Salome’, endures situations inspired by real events told to me personally by survivors of such groups. Addressing this topic was very important to me, as it is an area of life, of humanity, in which most people are unaware.
Victims of these ‘opportunist’ groups are often not given a voice, and I wanted to give the many women I was so fortunate to meet, a chance to be heard.
‘It Ain’t Me, Babe’ is a work of fiction, but the doctrines, practices and experiences of ‘Salome’, her sisters and The Order in this novel are also inspired by several brave women who chose to share their story with me.
I am a thorough believer in the freedom of religion and respect, and have many friends, from many faiths. Most NRM’s that I worked with were honest and good people and do not deserve the bad reputation many of them acquire. What I do find unacceptable however, is when certain people take vulnerable, pure and God-fearing people and abuse their trust and kindness for their own selfish gain.
This novel is special to me, because I was able to share some of the issues these 'opportunist cults' can create, and the scars and nightmares, survivors of such places must live with for the rest of their lives.
The world of the Outlaw MC in this novel, however, is purely fictional, based on the author's research.
Thank you for your time.
Tillie x
Okay, folks! Follow the links for the teasers below:
Teaser one:
http://tilliecole.com/it-aint-me-babe...
Okay, because I created this bad boy, I'm gonna give it 5 HUGE stars!!!! I'll be releasing lots of teasers too, so as I do, I'll add them on here, as well as my website, for you to check out.
But before all that fun stuff, I wanted to share with you why I wrote this book. Its subject matters are dark and gritty, and in parts, taboo. Many readers have messaged me to let me know how intrigued they are by the 'cult' aspect of this story and I wanted to give you some context, a reason for why I chose to write about a topic quite alien to most. It Ain't Me, Babe, is very different from my usual style. Please read below, for why this book is so important to me.
For my undergraduate degree, I studied Comparative Religion. Due to outstanding lecturers, many who were considered experts in their chosen field, I was given the opportunity to meet various people from an array of cultures and faiths.
One of my specialised areas of study in my final year was in ‘New Religious Movements (NRM’s), Cults and Sects’. I was lucky to meet, and work with, members and former members of such religious groups. Most were happy with their lifestyle choice, others were not. I would say that ninety percent of the people I interviewed and worked alongside belonged to the former, but I will never forget the harrowing, and sometimes disturbing, testimonies and witness statements from the latter.
Unfortunately, amongst the genuine and sincere members of some NRM’s, there are also a very small number of opportunists and individuals who, for reasons unbeknownst to most, choose to use religion, and its influence on innocent people, for their own personal gain—whether it be for power, control, or sadly, for something much more sordid.
‘It Ain’t Me, Babe’ was inspired by the testimonies of ex-members from several NRM’s and the leaders that abused the power they had over their members—especially the women.
The female protagonist in this novel, ‘Salome’, endures situations inspired by real events told to me personally by survivors of such groups. Addressing this topic was very important to me, as it is an area of life, of humanity, in which most people are unaware.
Victims of these ‘opportunist’ groups are often not given a voice, and I wanted to give the many women I was so fortunate to meet, a chance to be heard.
‘It Ain’t Me, Babe’ is a work of fiction, but the doctrines, practices and experiences of ‘Salome’, her sisters and The Order in this novel are also inspired by several brave women who chose to share their story with me.
I am a thorough believer in the freedom of religion and respect, and have many friends, from many faiths. Most NRM’s that I worked with were honest and good people and do not deserve the bad reputation many of them acquire. What I do find unacceptable however, is when certain people take vulnerable, pure and God-fearing people and abuse their trust and kindness for their own selfish gain.
This novel is special to me, because I was able to share some of the issues these 'opportunist cults' can create, and the scars and nightmares, survivors of such places must live with for the rest of their lives.
The world of the Outlaw MC in this novel, however, is purely fictional, based on the author's research.
Thank you for your time.
Tillie x
Okay, folks! Follow the links for the teasers below:
Teaser one:
http://tilliecole.com/it-aint-me-babe...
November 16, 2014
It's live!
Title: It Ain't Me, Babe
Series: Standalone (for now)
Author: Tillie Cole
Release Date: April 28, 2014
Rating: 5 stars
Cliffhanger:. No.
HEA:
Tillie Cole is very talented writer; in my reviews of her previous books I was complementing her sweet, sassy storytelling, cute British humor and panty dropping, heart fluttering romance. Today, though, after finishing It Ain’t Me, Babe I must highlight her other values, which I haven’t gotten the chance to fully appreciate before now.
There is something incredibly enticing in her newest book. Not only did I feel completely taken with the exceptional plot that was fabulous roller coaster of unexpected events, but also with the characters that from the very first page were intense and so broken, my heart ached. I literally felt glued to the pages, I just couldn’t stop reading even for a second. I was so into the story that chapters just seemed to fly by. Oh boy, did I love this novel!
Here, Tillie showed her other darker, grittier and more complex side. Side, I was not expecting nor did I hoped for. Yet, she completely astounded me and made me her number one fan. Again.
It’s amazing how could she so effortlessly went from writing ‘butterfly in your tummy’ to ‘rough and edgy’ romances. I adore her for that and will be cherishing It Ain’t Me, Babe for a long time.
This story follows Salome ‘Mae’. She’s twenty three year old woman that spent all life in closed, severe commune where the rules were harsh and poisonous. When she finally realizes how wrong her people are she decides to escape the ruthless world of never really living. Barely making it out alive, bleeding out and scared, Mae is picked up by an older woman; both of them make it to Austin, where Mae is dropped near the Hangmen’s compound.
Styx is only twenty-six Prez of the biggest Texan’s MC. He’s brutal, violent and never gentle. He also doesn’t speak to any other than his best friend and VP - Ky, his father and the little girl with wolves eyes, he’s met when he was eleven. The words are stuck in his throat making it almost impossible to speak.
When he gets his hands on barely alive woman near the dumpster of his compound he should have let her die. Instead he makes everything to keep her alive and next to him.
While Mae is scarred of getting back to the hell she escaped from, Styx is in the middle of the war and having a rat under his roof. And while both of them know, that Styx ain’t a man for the fragile Mae, their bodies and hearts seem to not to listen.
This story is like no other biker romance you will find. I’ve read dozens of them already, so me being so fond of it, means that this story is worth adoring. It’s very unique and its own way beautiful. Being about outlaw MC and strict religious commune in one is not a popular or overused scheme; this is something fresh entirely. Something Tillie Cole was sure to use to her advantage in one hundred percent.
There were many twists and turns I haven’t seen coming. I was immensely shocked while the suspense and angst reached its limit. I would never have guessed it! I was kept on my toes till the last page and I must say that the incredible way, in which Tillie Cole mixed romance with suspense and very taboo subject of sects was a perfection!
*Review Copy was provided to me by the author, Tillie Cole, in exchange for honest review *
FOLLOW SMOKIN HOT BOOK BLOG ON:
Title: It Ain't Me, Babe
Series: Standalone (for now)
Author: Tillie Cole
Release Date: April 28, 2014
Rating: 5 stars
Cliffhanger:. No.
HEA:
Tillie Cole is very talented writer; in my reviews of her previous books I was complementing her sweet, sassy storytelling, cute British humor and panty dropping, heart fluttering romance. Today, though, after finishing It Ain’t Me, Babe I must highlight her other values, which I haven’t gotten the chance to fully appreciate before now.
There is something incredibly enticing in her newest book. Not only did I feel completely taken with the exceptional plot that was fabulous roller coaster of unexpected events, but also with the characters that from the very first page were intense and so broken, my heart ached. I literally felt glued to the pages, I just couldn’t stop reading even for a second. I was so into the story that chapters just seemed to fly by. Oh boy, did I love this novel!
Here, Tillie showed her other darker, grittier and more complex side. Side, I was not expecting nor did I hoped for. Yet, she completely astounded me and made me her number one fan. Again.
It’s amazing how could she so effortlessly went from writing ‘butterfly in your tummy’ to ‘rough and edgy’ romances. I adore her for that and will be cherishing It Ain’t Me, Babe for a long time.
This story follows Salome ‘Mae’. She’s twenty three year old woman that spent all life in closed, severe commune where the rules were harsh and poisonous. When she finally realizes how wrong her people are she decides to escape the ruthless world of never really living. Barely making it out alive, bleeding out and scared, Mae is picked up by an older woman; both of them make it to Austin, where Mae is dropped near the Hangmen’s compound.
Styx is only twenty-six Prez of the biggest Texan’s MC. He’s brutal, violent and never gentle. He also doesn’t speak to any other than his best friend and VP - Ky, his father and the little girl with wolves eyes, he’s met when he was eleven. The words are stuck in his throat making it almost impossible to speak.
When he gets his hands on barely alive woman near the dumpster of his compound he should have let her die. Instead he makes everything to keep her alive and next to him.
While Mae is scarred of getting back to the hell she escaped from, Styx is in the middle of the war and having a rat under his roof. And while both of them know, that Styx ain’t a man for the fragile Mae, their bodies and hearts seem to not to listen.
This story is like no other biker romance you will find. I’ve read dozens of them already, so me being so fond of it, means that this story is worth adoring. It’s very unique and its own way beautiful. Being about outlaw MC and strict religious commune in one is not a popular or overused scheme; this is something fresh entirely. Something Tillie Cole was sure to use to her advantage in one hundred percent.
There were many twists and turns I haven’t seen coming. I was immensely shocked while the suspense and angst reached its limit. I would never have guessed it! I was kept on my toes till the last page and I must say that the incredible way, in which Tillie Cole mixed romance with suspense and very taboo subject of sects was a perfection!
*Review Copy was provided to me by the author, Tillie Cole, in exchange for honest review *
FOLLOW SMOKIN HOT BOOK BLOG ON:
May 18, 2020
4.5 Stars
I loved this!
Look, sure there are things I can nitpick at. But I don’t want to, because I loved it despite those.
Is it fairly unrealistic? Sure! Did I care? No. (I knew what I was signing up for, read the blurb, read the reviews and dived in, so it’s all on me)
Does it have trigger worthy issues? By the bucket! (Child molestation, awful rape scenes - only recounted, not shown- self harm as a form of arousal, graphic murder, it’s ALL there)
Okay, so there’s one thing - the use of word bitch as a replacer for girl/woman - I know, out of all the things I’ve just enumerated, the use of a word is the one to bother me! My trigger is that I cannot stand sexism and I know, again ... why do I read MC books then, you ask? I’m battling my phobia that’s why (JK, the guys are hot -yeah, I'm superficial like that - and I always picture Jax Teller - not that I’d like to be a Tara, we all know how that ended.. but in my head I’ve changed that story a bunch of times and they were all a merry bunch with HEAs)
Anywayyy, back to the topic at hand, the word bitch is used by every guy, all the time, referring to every woman, and it took awhile for me to go with it and stop it from bothering me (the more you hear them the more you realise they don’t mean anything bad by it, and I know that’s not an explanation but intent matters and so I’ve absolved them of their “crime” - also I’m not about to go mad about bikers not being up on their gender equality by not using derogatory names for women, cause I’m pretty sure they’ve got bigger issues. Like the fact that white supremacists are carving swastikas on their chests and generally trying to mutilate them...
Ok, so now let me tell you why I liked it.
Styx is no saint, he’s not even all that amazing BUT I loved how obsessed he was with Mae. He had his ”too dumb to live” moments - like that blowie he got, at the very wrong freaking time shall I add. But I truly believe he was obsessively in love with Mae so it was good enough for me. (said every stupid girl ever- I know, it sounded pathetic when I read it back, but he was sweet with her and he had this soft, guitar playing side.. yeah *swoon*).
Now Mae, I loved her. What was there not to love. There you have this girl who hasn’t been out in the real world EVER, doesn’t know anything about pretty much anything and yet.. she is smart, wise, curious, assertive and so very kind. Yes, she was pretty perfect.
Lastly there’s Rider, cause I just had to mention him and I can’t say much because .. spoilers. But damn, I was feeling all kinds of bad for him. I was there shaking my kindle and screaming “I’ll take you” ... like in the hunger games where Katniss volunteers.. except my intentions were not noble in the least (I was cured of any such temptation by the end btw - can't say why cause spoliers, but yeah, what a freaking twist)
Hmm, what else can I add.. the story is pretty straightforward really. It’s dark, but I didn’t find it repulsively dark, apart from the scenes that recount the cult “practices”. I’ve never read anything like it and I believe that combining a cult/MC story paid off because you need to understand/have experienced messed up so that you can deal with messed up (a different kind of messed up, but still, a normal girl, with a normal life just wouldn’t be credible with someone like Styx).
Like I said this book is not perfect BUT I don’t care, I was along for the ride and I totally enjoyed it.
I’m gonna devour the next books now. I’m on a binge!
I loved this!
Look, sure there are things I can nitpick at. But I don’t want to, because I loved it despite those.
Is it fairly unrealistic? Sure! Did I care? No. (I knew what I was signing up for, read the blurb, read the reviews and dived in, so it’s all on me)
Does it have trigger worthy issues? By the bucket! (Child molestation, awful rape scenes - only recounted, not shown- self harm as a form of arousal, graphic murder, it’s ALL there)
Okay, so there’s one thing - the use of word bitch as a replacer for girl/woman - I know, out of all the things I’ve just enumerated, the use of a word is the one to bother me! My trigger is that I cannot stand sexism and I know, again ... why do I read MC books then, you ask? I’m battling my phobia that’s why (JK, the guys are hot -yeah, I'm superficial like that - and I always picture Jax Teller - not that I’d like to be a Tara, we all know how that ended.. but in my head I’ve changed that story a bunch of times and they were all a merry bunch with HEAs)
Anywayyy, back to the topic at hand, the word bitch is used by every guy, all the time, referring to every woman, and it took awhile for me to go with it and stop it from bothering me (the more you hear them the more you realise they don’t mean anything bad by it, and I know that’s not an explanation but intent matters and so I’ve absolved them of their “crime” - also I’m not about to go mad about bikers not being up on their gender equality by not using derogatory names for women, cause I’m pretty sure they’ve got bigger issues. Like the fact that white supremacists are carving swastikas on their chests and generally trying to mutilate them...
Ok, so now let me tell you why I liked it.
Styx is no saint, he’s not even all that amazing BUT I loved how obsessed he was with Mae. He had his ”too dumb to live” moments - like that blowie he got, at the very wrong freaking time shall I add. But I truly believe he was obsessively in love with Mae so it was good enough for me. (said every stupid girl ever- I know, it sounded pathetic when I read it back, but he was sweet with her and he had this soft, guitar playing side.. yeah *swoon*).
Now Mae, I loved her. What was there not to love. There you have this girl who hasn’t been out in the real world EVER, doesn’t know anything about pretty much anything and yet.. she is smart, wise, curious, assertive and so very kind. Yes, she was pretty perfect.
Lastly there’s Rider, cause I just had to mention him and I can’t say much because .. spoilers. But damn, I was feeling all kinds of bad for him. I was there shaking my kindle and screaming “I’ll take you” ... like in the hunger games where Katniss volunteers.. except my intentions were not noble in the least (I was cured of any such temptation by the end btw - can't say why cause spoliers, but yeah, what a freaking twist)
Hmm, what else can I add.. the story is pretty straightforward really. It’s dark, but I didn’t find it repulsively dark, apart from the scenes that recount the cult “practices”. I’ve never read anything like it and I believe that combining a cult/MC story paid off because you need to understand/have experienced messed up so that you can deal with messed up (a different kind of messed up, but still, a normal girl, with a normal life just wouldn’t be credible with someone like Styx).
Like I said this book is not perfect BUT I don’t care, I was along for the ride and I totally enjoyed it.
I’m gonna devour the next books now. I’m on a binge!
November 1, 2023
1/5
I can't do this to myself anymore. I really don't understand how I could have finished this book four years ago. It just shows how much my taste has changed over the years.
I'm sorry, but I can't read books when men describe and call women like that.
Oh how I love men treating women like some insects.
I don’t care if they are some macho bikers with tattoos. It’s not that hard to call them 'women', or 'females', though I hate the second option.
I can't do this to myself anymore. I really don't understand how I could have finished this book four years ago. It just shows how much my taste has changed over the years.
I'm sorry, but I can't read books when men describe and call women like that.
"the club bitches"
"Crashing through the doors of the compound, I was seething. Several club sluts scattered outta my way—wise move."
Oh how I love men treating women like some insects.
“Now, don’t know ’bout y’all, but I’m getting me some pussy.”
"slut-for-the-night"
"Bitch was too soft for this kinda shit."
"Poor bitch needed to pay up to go to a better life."
I don’t care if they are some macho bikers with tattoos. It’s not that hard to call them 'women', or 'females', though I hate the second option.
August 8, 2022
Going into this book, I had no idea that the heroine would be from a cult and fall in love with the president of a Motorcycle Club. I had heard so many people rave about this series and I loved the one book I've read by Tillie Cole, so I was definitely excited to finally pick this book up!
Years ago, a boy and a girl met and never forgot one another. Through the trials and tribulations of their lives, they always sought solace in the memory of one another. Today, Salome has finally been pushed to the edge and escapes the terrifying cult that has been her life. Dying and lost, Salome stumbles upon a group of men who embody everything she's been taught is evil. River "Styx" Nash is the Hangmen Mute and may seem intimidating to all those who mess with his club, but he still has not gotten over the girl with the wolf eyes he met so many years ago. When those eyes appear in a girl who is broken and bloodied, Styx can't believe it. Styx thought he would never let anyone close enough to affect him, but Salome brings out a protective side of him that may never want to let her go.
Oh man, this book had me OBSESSED and, by the end, I found myself utterly in love with this story. While we still got the rough bad boy bikers, there was so much under Styx's character when Mae (Salome) came back into his life. I really loved how Styx had a stutter and how he had to try so hard to still seem intimidating while dealing with the disappointment in times where he really wanted to use his voice but just couldn't. And when he realized how strong his feelings for Mae were, it was so heartbreaking watching his internal struggle and how he was trying to cope with depending on another person and really opening up to them.
I don't know why, but I am fascinated by books about people who were or are in cults, so I absolutely loved Mae's character and how she was trying to escape the cult that she had grown up in. Mae was such a sheltered, innocent character because she has literally been locked away all of her life. Even though she was very naive about the outside world, she was still so strong and didn't let Styx get away with things when he messed up or didn't treat her right. She really found her place in the club, not only with Styx but also with some of the other members. I really enjoyed her journey and growth as a woman in this book.
When I got to the end, that really solidified my love for this book. So many intense things happened that I was not expecting and now I'm DYING to read more books in this series. These characters were all so unique and I already miss them after finishing Mae and Styx's story. If you love MC romances, this is definitely a staple of that genre and a must read!
Years ago, a boy and a girl met and never forgot one another. Through the trials and tribulations of their lives, they always sought solace in the memory of one another. Today, Salome has finally been pushed to the edge and escapes the terrifying cult that has been her life. Dying and lost, Salome stumbles upon a group of men who embody everything she's been taught is evil. River "Styx" Nash is the Hangmen Mute and may seem intimidating to all those who mess with his club, but he still has not gotten over the girl with the wolf eyes he met so many years ago. When those eyes appear in a girl who is broken and bloodied, Styx can't believe it. Styx thought he would never let anyone close enough to affect him, but Salome brings out a protective side of him that may never want to let her go.
Oh man, this book had me OBSESSED and, by the end, I found myself utterly in love with this story. While we still got the rough bad boy bikers, there was so much under Styx's character when Mae (Salome) came back into his life. I really loved how Styx had a stutter and how he had to try so hard to still seem intimidating while dealing with the disappointment in times where he really wanted to use his voice but just couldn't. And when he realized how strong his feelings for Mae were, it was so heartbreaking watching his internal struggle and how he was trying to cope with depending on another person and really opening up to them.
I don't know why, but I am fascinated by books about people who were or are in cults, so I absolutely loved Mae's character and how she was trying to escape the cult that she had grown up in. Mae was such a sheltered, innocent character because she has literally been locked away all of her life. Even though she was very naive about the outside world, she was still so strong and didn't let Styx get away with things when he messed up or didn't treat her right. She really found her place in the club, not only with Styx but also with some of the other members. I really enjoyed her journey and growth as a woman in this book.
When I got to the end, that really solidified my love for this book. So many intense things happened that I was not expecting and now I'm DYING to read more books in this series. These characters were all so unique and I already miss them after finishing Mae and Styx's story. If you love MC romances, this is definitely a staple of that genre and a must read!
August 18, 2020
It Ain't Me Babe - 3.5 ⭐️s
Heart Recaptured - 4 ⭐️s
Souls Unfractured - currently reading
“You need a st-strong man, babe. You n-n-need a man to l-love you, to pr-protect you, to be your f-fuckin’ world.” Her breath paused and I smirked. “It’s m-me, babe. It’s s-so fuckin’ me.”
Song : Pistol Annies - I Hope You're The End Of My Story
Warning : if you don’t like spoilers, please don’t read this, because it’s a SPOILER FEST.
This series has been on my radar forever, but I stayed away for so long because the MC life is just not my thing. All the bitch (131 times) and brother (284 times) and load’sa (one time, thank God) - ridiculous.
But I’m glad I finally took the plunge, because let me tell you : I. AM. HOOKED.
This is the story of Salome “Mae” and River “Styx”.
They met when Mae was 8, just introduced to her duty as "sister" and Styx was 11, struggling to speak to anyone besides his father and his best friend. They shared a connection, as Styx was able to talk to her (his lucky number 3) and Mae found a boy that appeared like light in the dark, giving her her first and only kiss.
Fast forward 15 years, and Mae is on the run from the cult, badly injured and fighting for her life. By a miracle, she ends up on Styx’s doorstep, kickstarting a chain of events none of them saw coming.
➥ Styx “The Hangmen Mute”, Prez of the Hangmen mother chapter
This was me through the whole book.
Styx had to talk with his fists to assert his position as Prez, making up for the fact that he couldn’t talk in front of people.
The one thing that stops people ripping on you for being a mute pussy is being a cold-blooded killer with fists of iron.
He’s loyal, caring and always there for his brothers. He’s also ruthless, violent and enjoys sending people to the boatman.
He’s been obsessed with Mae since that fateful night 15 years ago, and has been looking for his wolf eyes girl ever since.
Upon finding her, you’d think he’ll be over the moon, right? Well, he is.
I cradled the bitch to my chest, some possessive voodoo shit taking over my mind, body… my fuckin’ soul.
But while the girl is fighting for her life, he
Turning Lois to face the wall, I guided us to the unmade bed—the bed I saved for fucking, stained with cum and sweat.
someone please burn that mattress, please and thank you
Next day, he’s all
“I-i-if you c-can hear m-me, p-p-pull through. W-wake the f-f-fuck up. I’ve b-been w-waiting on you coming back to me for f-f-fifteen fuckin’ years. No d-dying on m-me now, you hear me?”
But when she wakes up, he’s convinced she’s too good for him
It killed me knowing she didn’t belong here. For the first time in my life, I wanted to do right by someone, and her being a part of this club, a part of me, wasn’t doing right by her.
So naturally
I headed back to my room where Lois was already naked, eying me weird. I dragged my hands through my hair and took a deep breath. Shit! I needed Lois to fuck Mae right outta my goddamn mind.
Then he goes on a month long run, leaving Mae with another “brother”, Rider, and is so shocked when he comes back and finds them super close to each, laughing, talking and being friends.
He thankfully pulls his head out of his ass eventually, but not before an almost blowie from OW. He just got intimate with Mae and upon seeing her scars, he freaks out on her. Bitchh, why you making this about you?? She’s the one who’s been through it, ffs. After struggling with his speech (my poor baby), he chooses to vocalize the classic “it’s a mistake” (my poor baby is a dumbass) and storms out, gets drunk off his ass and lets OW almost blow him (my poor baby needs to be bitch slapped).
But you know what? I’m the worst hypocrite in the world, because when Mae gives him the cold shoulder and he turns into a lost puppy, telling her
“I-I f-fucked up, Mae. Real b-bad.”
“I f-fucked up, Mae. I r-really f-fucked up,” I said again”
I was like
And
come here baby, I’ll shower you with my love, you don’t need the pilgrim bitch
➥ Mae “Snow White”, one fourth of The Cursed
Um, so, Mae. I couldn’t connect with her, sadly. For someone who’s been abused since the age of 8, been through so much atrocities and been indoctrinated since birth, she was very well adjusted to the outside world. A little too very well adjusted, IMO.
I had a sadistic fucker of a French teacher who used to hit the back of my hands with a metal tube when I made grammar mistakes, or God forbid, forgot caps in the beginning of a sentence or a period at the end. To this day, I cannot physically make any of these mistakes. And I only recently began to write in lowercase in comments and messages (only for English, I could never with French LOL). That’s me being a rebel and sending a silent lowercase fuck you to my teacher.
but every time I do, I feel the ghost of that metal tube on the back of my hands. *shudders*
And you wanna tell me this girl, who’s been brainwashed since birth just let go of all that she’s been taught in the space of a month???
And the sex. She’s been abused almost all her life and she jumps on Styx the first chance she got??
Let me tell you a not very fun fact, only 40% of my aversion to physical affection is due to me being an awkward person. I understand everybody deals with trauma differently, and good for her for getting sexed up so early after her escape, but it wasn’t realistic, again, IMO.
Twice she hits the brakes during sex and I’m hyped thinking, finally some sense, but once was because of OW, and the second time because she’s afraid she doesn’t know how to please him.
I couldn’t connect with her and as a consequence, I was disconnected from everything that happened to her. She didn’t seem all that affected to me. And I hated how she didn’t think of her sisters, dreamed of saving them, just a dream. A tiny thought to them (she did once at, like, 80%? Too late, hun). But no, it’s like past Mae and present Mae are two totally different people.
She did love Styx with all her heart, tho.
”I have only ever had one dream since I was eight. Styx, the dream is you. You stole my heart fifteen years ago and you still haven’t given it back.”
➥ STUFF
The Romance
They shared a connection when they were kids, cool. But in the present, everything was not only too insta, but there wasn’t much emotional development. We know they’re obsessed with each other, but why?? By 70% of the book, they only had 4 or 5 not that long conversations with each other. In fact, Mae had more emotional compatibility with Rider.
They spent more time together, had conversations, got to know each other, developed a friendship. He even saved her life twice. But again, my poor dumbass baby screamed for her so idk, I need to think on this more.
My Expectations
Part of my disappointment is that I thought this was gonna be about Mae overcoming her past and issues, but homegirl has got 0 issues, and this was actually about Styx getting his head out of his ass.
What I Enjoyed Most
➥Styx’s obsession with Mae was heartwarming, all things considered. Every time he’d describe her or what she did to him, I’d melt, even though he has a certain way with words LOL.
I’d fucked a lot of bitches in my life, done every messed-up position imaginable, stuck my cock in every hole, tried every drug, drank every whiskey, but nothing had felt quite like her tiny pale hand wrapped in mine; nothing even came close.
I especially loved his obsession with her nose twitch.
I swear that fuckin’ twitching nose is gonna destroy me.
➥ The club dynamic was sweet, they all loved each other (except for what they did to Pit, I’m still not over that). Every time Ky slaps Viking upside the head, I would be smiling like a maniac.
What Made Me Feel
➥ Whenever my baby tried talking but couldn’t.
Work. Speak. Come on. Just talk. Anything. One word. Only one word. A sound. Something… FUCK! I tensed my chest as I tried to push the words up my throat. I could feel them lurking, mocking me, but they just wouldn’t come.
➥ When he finally was able to talk in front of 400 people. I’ve never been prouder.
➥ When the Hangmen showed up in the cult.
Hundreds of men, all dressed in black leather… My heart sang. It was the Hangmen.
My heart sang too, ngl.
➥ Rider's anguish. Now that is how you portray someone who's battling with what he's been taught his whole life, even though I'm not sure I buy his clueless act.
➥ Maddie and what that motherfucker Moses did to her.
“You left me,” she said almost inaudibly.
My heart plummeted. I had left her alone. I, her only family, had abandoned my Maddie here, in commune, with Brother Moses, the cruelest of all the elders.
And her first meeting with Flame. My heart cannot.
Important Questions
➥ Why did no one regret what was done to Pit, dammit?? Poor thing didn't deserve what happened to him!
➥ Why is everybody in this book always snarling, roaring and twitching?? What is this, the damn jungle??
Thank you, Oumaima, for convincing me to start this series. You're an angel. 💖
Now, Manho Ky, Cursed Lilah and the Slutty Twins,
April 17, 2014
3.5--I Got Lost--Stars!!!
There's a good chance this is a case of
I just got SO LOST in the all of the details. It was too technical for my liking I think. Too many details about the Order, the Brothers, the commune, Hades, greek mythology....
I think my first clue should have been the glossary of terms at the beginning of the book.
The pace of this one was also really slow. Plot wise things didn't move along very fast, yet there was so much going on. Which makes no sense, I know. At times, it was hard to follow what was going on with the MC.
Salome/Mae has lived her whole life on this commune...it's almost a cult really. She's considered a Cursed, meaning she's too tempting to men and more likely to sway men from the righteous path.
When Mae was 8 years old she meets River for the first time. River's father is president of the Hades Hangman MC and they are doing a drop near the commune where Mae is being held. They share a connection but River is unable to find Mae again for the next fifteen years.
A tragedy allows Mae to escape the commune on her 23rd birthday. She's badly injured.....bruised physically and emotionally....when she lands at the Hades Hangman's compound and in to the hands of River.
River is now Styx, the Hangman Mute....the President of the MC. Fate brought them together again.
Mae was viewed as the freak. She was completely clueless to how the outisde world lived. Taught that everything outside of the walls of the commune was evil. She has to learn not only how to live outside of the commune but within the rules of a MC.
Styx hasn't stop thinking about Mae since that day in the forest fifteen years prior. And he wants her to be his.
Mae knows she can never be free from her past. The disciple guards will one day find her.
There were some twists and turns that I didn't see coming, some that I did. The pace definitely picked up towards the end of the story.
I think for me personally, this was just too heavy on the details and happenings of the commune and the MC and not enough on the romance aspect of things.
So while I got lost in some of those details, I still felt for Mae and what she had to endure at the commune. And how one chance encounter with Styx could comfort her and guide her when she needed it the most.
This was a darker, more gritty read...but it was by no means dark. I liked that the story was different and unique, it was just a subject that I didn't have a lot of interest in as a whole...with all of the focus on mythology and religion.
I think a lot of people will like this one....so definitely give it a shot.
ARC kindly provided by the author in exchange for an honest review
There's a good chance this is a case of
I just got SO LOST in the all of the details. It was too technical for my liking I think. Too many details about the Order, the Brothers, the commune, Hades, greek mythology....
I think my first clue should have been the glossary of terms at the beginning of the book.
The pace of this one was also really slow. Plot wise things didn't move along very fast, yet there was so much going on. Which makes no sense, I know. At times, it was hard to follow what was going on with the MC.
Salome/Mae has lived her whole life on this commune...it's almost a cult really. She's considered a Cursed, meaning she's too tempting to men and more likely to sway men from the righteous path.
When Mae was 8 years old she meets River for the first time. River's father is president of the Hades Hangman MC and they are doing a drop near the commune where Mae is being held. They share a connection but River is unable to find Mae again for the next fifteen years.
"I'd found her too goddamn late. Hade's already pulled me into Hell. She didn't deserve to go down with me. She deserved a clean man--that so ain't fuckin' me."
A tragedy allows Mae to escape the commune on her 23rd birthday. She's badly injured.....bruised physically and emotionally....when she lands at the Hades Hangman's compound and in to the hands of River.
River is now Styx, the Hangman Mute....the President of the MC. Fate brought them together again.
Mae was viewed as the freak. She was completely clueless to how the outisde world lived. Taught that everything outside of the walls of the commune was evil. She has to learn not only how to live outside of the commune but within the rules of a MC.
Styx hasn't stop thinking about Mae since that day in the forest fifteen years prior. And he wants her to be his.
"I w-want you too. F-fuck, I want you in m-my bed, by my side, on m-my bike. I w-want you as m-my old lady. Taking c-care of me, n-needing me...letting me inside you."
Mae knows she can never be free from her past. The disciple guards will one day find her.
There were some twists and turns that I didn't see coming, some that I did. The pace definitely picked up towards the end of the story.
I think for me personally, this was just too heavy on the details and happenings of the commune and the MC and not enough on the romance aspect of things.
So while I got lost in some of those details, I still felt for Mae and what she had to endure at the commune. And how one chance encounter with Styx could comfort her and guide her when she needed it the most.
"We were always fated to be together. He is my everything. He is my entire world.....Styx is my salvation."
This was a darker, more gritty read...but it was by no means dark. I liked that the story was different and unique, it was just a subject that I didn't have a lot of interest in as a whole...with all of the focus on mythology and religion.
I think a lot of people will like this one....so definitely give it a shot.
ARC kindly provided by the author in exchange for an honest review
June 10, 2014
★★★★★ 5 Stars!
“It’s me babe... Ain’t no other man for you... but me.”
If you haven't read this book yet, I would highly suggest giving it a try, because
Seriously. It was intense, tragic, gripping, emotional, heartbreaking, and beautiful. It Ain't Me, Babe is a story about two people from completely different worlds who formed a connection the first time they met when they were just kids. Now, 15 years later they meet again under incredibly tense circumstances but their connection never faded...the beauty with the wolf eyes never left Styx's mind all these years and when she shows up battered and bruised at the Hades Hangmen MC compound, he decides to do whatever it takes to keep her safe.
“We were always fated to be together. He is my everything. He is my entire world...
...Styx is my salvation.”
Mae and Styx were incredibly complex characters and I grew to love them throughout the story. They went through so much trouble and misery and I was rooting the entire time for their happy ending. However, neither of them were perfect and Styx made some huge mistakes....luckily, he redeemed himself though. Overall, this was an unputdownable and unforgettable read and I'm already anxiously looking forward to the next part of this series!
March 25, 2020
the FBI really do be giving me the side-eye whenever i read this series tho.
i can just picture them breaking into my home like this
but for real... is this even lEgAl to write cuz there's so many fucked up things here that include children?? this series is just dark as hell that even i took a break from it for a long time but alas, here i am rereading the first three books because i forgot what happened and imma continue on with this series.
i honestly still liked Rider for Mae and maybe that's because im biased and he wasn't sleeping with OW after meeting Mae and they emotionally connected more than Styx and i could actually see their development more but oh well.
i forgot how much of a ho Ky was and i forgot how "crazy" Flame was but i am so glad i picked this series up again.
reread (march 2020): 3 stars
* * *
old review:
original rating (jan 2019): 4.5 stars
It’s a good thing I know this isn’t a safe book otherwise I would’ve hated this. I usually tend to stay away from dark romances cuz they have tropes that I hate like descriptive sex with OW, explicit rape and violence and so on. I like my safe books, ya know? I just want to be happy and laughing when I read my books. Here though, it was very dark BUT I was still very entertained.
I really liked the premise here no matter how twisted it may be and maybe its cuz I normally don’t read these type of books and I have a curious mind but honestly, I’m glad I did cuz I ended up loving this and I’m planning to read the other books in this series. I’m so invested in all the characters now, I CANT STOP.
— Salome/Mae escapes a religious cult that’s so fuckin twisted I don’t even wanna spoil it... Let’s just say men brainwashed the women to be their sex slaves and the men are a bunch of pedophiles... ya... that’s just the tip of the iceberg. When she escapes and finally gets the taste of freedom, she finds herself in the centre of another kind of hell: the Hangmen crew.HOWEVER, she finds that the President of the biker gang is the same boy she met when she was a child.
— Styx or ’River is feared by all types of gangs. This H is definitely not the type of guy u want to bring to ur parents. He loves to kill, torture, do drugs (tho he dsnt do drugs in the book it was just mentioned that he did EVERYTHING), drink alcohol, and f women whenever and wherever. He doesn’t do relationships or monogamy. but when the girl he met back when he was just a boy and has since haunted his dreams every day stumbles upon their turf... Well let’s just say it starts all kinds of drama.
OW/OM Drama
One thing I REALLY hate is sex scene with OW especially right after the H meets the h
For the safety ppl, there’s at least 4 sex scenes with OW: 1 full-on bj, 1 full-on descriptive sex scene, 1 fade to black and 1 almost bj (but H stops OW cuz he was thinking of h AND h catches them too)
Listen, I knew there was gonna be scenes with OW but I actually tolerated it here cuz I kinda expected it from his character. I mean he is the President of a MC sooo. It wasn’t random and out of character and 2 scenes with OW are before he meets the h and the other 2 is him trying and not trying to think bout the h. AGAIN, I really hate this (I can tolerate it tho) but oh weelllll
And the OM, Rider... I loved him (EXCLUDING Cain!)
This is the first time where I preferred the OM to the H! I was rooting for the h to end up with this guy in the beginning! I really did believe in his love for the h and it was definitely more powerful, imo. The H’s inner monologue focused more on lust and this unfortunately made me NOT believe in his love for Mae.
Ryder doesn’t whore around and do the other bad shit (other than killing) the H does AND he’s waiting for a woman he loves to sleep with her. He was good and kind and the sweetest guy to the h but she friendzoned him so bad. My heart broke for him whenever he saw the h with the H. And the scene where he poured his heart out and begged the h to run away with him? My heart literally broke. I loved him until... well, until Cain happened. That’s a whole other person that I will forever separate from Rider and imma just ignore... For now.
The violence here was not too bad, I’ve read more violent books like Game of Thrones and the Throne of Glass series, so I wasn’t too iffy bout it EXCEPT the parts when Flame gets aroused by cutting himself... like, EEEEEWWWW. The other dark subjects obviously made me feel uncomfortable but hey, this is dark romance right? The goal is to make readers uncomfortable in a way? Well The Order definitely gave me the creeps.
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-
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I really recommend this book if ur in the mood for dark romance bc this was definitely a page-turner for me 100%
I can’t wait for Ky’s book!! His should be interesting
AND Flame has a book too?? AND ITS WITH MADDIE?! Wtf hes a sick psycho who gets turned on by cutting himself...?
Well that should be interesting.
i can just picture them breaking into my home like this
but for real... is this even lEgAl to write cuz there's so many fucked up things here that include children?? this series is just dark as hell that even i took a break from it for a long time but alas, here i am rereading the first three books because i forgot what happened and imma continue on with this series.
i honestly still liked Rider for Mae and maybe that's because im biased and he wasn't sleeping with OW after meeting Mae and they emotionally connected more than Styx and i could actually see their development more but oh well.
i forgot how much of a ho Ky was and i forgot how "crazy" Flame was but i am so glad i picked this series up again.
reread (march 2020): 3 stars
* * *
old review:
original rating (jan 2019): 4.5 stars
It’s a good thing I know this isn’t a safe book otherwise I would’ve hated this. I usually tend to stay away from dark romances cuz they have tropes that I hate like descriptive sex with OW, explicit rape and violence and so on. I like my safe books, ya know? I just want to be happy and laughing when I read my books. Here though, it was very dark BUT I was still very entertained.
I really liked the premise here no matter how twisted it may be and maybe its cuz I normally don’t read these type of books and I have a curious mind but honestly, I’m glad I did cuz I ended up loving this and I’m planning to read the other books in this series. I’m so invested in all the characters now, I CANT STOP.
— Salome/Mae escapes a religious cult that’s so fuckin twisted I don’t even wanna spoil it... Let’s just say men brainwashed the women to be their sex slaves and the men are a bunch of pedophiles... ya... that’s just the tip of the iceberg. When she escapes and finally gets the taste of freedom, she finds herself in the centre of another kind of hell: the Hangmen crew.HOWEVER, she finds that the President of the biker gang is the same boy she met when she was a child.
— Styx or ’River is feared by all types of gangs. This H is definitely not the type of guy u want to bring to ur parents. He loves to kill, torture, do drugs (tho he dsnt do drugs in the book it was just mentioned that he did EVERYTHING), drink alcohol, and f women whenever and wherever. He doesn’t do relationships or monogamy. but when the girl he met back when he was just a boy and has since haunted his dreams every day stumbles upon their turf... Well let’s just say it starts all kinds of drama.
OW/OM Drama
One thing I REALLY hate is sex scene with OW especially right after the H meets the h
For the safety ppl, there’s at least 4 sex scenes with OW: 1 full-on bj, 1 full-on descriptive sex scene, 1 fade to black and 1 almost bj (but H stops OW cuz he was thinking of h AND h catches them too)
Listen, I knew there was gonna be scenes with OW but I actually tolerated it here cuz I kinda expected it from his character. I mean he is the President of a MC sooo. It wasn’t random and out of character and 2 scenes with OW are before he meets the h and the other 2 is him trying and not trying to think bout the h. AGAIN, I really hate this (I can tolerate it tho) but oh weelllll
And the OM, Rider... I loved him (EXCLUDING Cain!)
This is the first time where I preferred the OM to the H! I was rooting for the h to end up with this guy in the beginning! I really did believe in his love for the h and it was definitely more powerful, imo. The H’s inner monologue focused more on lust and this unfortunately made me NOT believe in his love for Mae.
Ryder doesn’t whore around and do the other bad shit (other than killing) the H does AND he’s waiting for a woman he loves to sleep with her. He was good and kind and the sweetest guy to the h but she friendzoned him so bad. My heart broke for him whenever he saw the h with the H. And the scene where he poured his heart out and begged the h to run away with him? My heart literally broke. I loved him until... well, until Cain happened. That’s a whole other person that I will forever separate from Rider and imma just ignore... For now.
The violence here was not too bad, I’ve read more violent books like Game of Thrones and the Throne of Glass series, so I wasn’t too iffy bout it EXCEPT the parts when Flame gets aroused by cutting himself... like, EEEEEWWWW. The other dark subjects obviously made me feel uncomfortable but hey, this is dark romance right? The goal is to make readers uncomfortable in a way? Well The Order definitely gave me the creeps.
-
-
-
I really recommend this book if ur in the mood for dark romance bc this was definitely a page-turner for me 100%
I can’t wait for Ky’s book!! His should be interesting
AND Flame has a book too?? AND ITS WITH MADDIE?! Wtf hes a sick psycho who gets turned on by cutting himself...?
Well that should be interesting.
August 14, 2015
2-I-have-no-one-else-to-blame-but-myself-stars
It's not as if didn't know this would happen. You'd think that I'd learn something from my previous experience when it comes to Tillie Cole. I was so frustrated after finishing Sweet Home and Raze - I DNFed that fucker. What I expected from It Ain't Me, Babe, I have no idea. I blame the hype. Bloody hype! Andfanfart fanart.
Why I do not like this as everyone else does?
Let's start with writing. That is my issue with this author from the very start. I have to say that it is slightly better than the Sweet Rome (I swear, I got diabetes because of that book), but still it's recognizable melodramatic and with a lot of "jungle" sounds descriptions. (If you read it, you'll know what I mean by that.)
Characters. Oh my God, characters. I hate every single one of them. Girls are Victoria's Secret models (but unaware of their beauty, or how sexually attractive they are - despite being told that they are sinners and temptation to all men all their lives). They are like virgins, but they are not exactly virgins. And boys love that shit! They go ape-shit crazy when Mae appears on compound. (And later her sisters.) Speaking about guys... Anyone watching Vikings? Yeah... They are love child of Vikings and King Kong. Plus, some Tarzan and SoA. On meth overdose. Crazy fuckers.
I feel awkward now among all you fangirls.
That's not all.
The story.
Religious cult that uses young girls, lives by crazy-ass rules and basically is lead by pedophiles. on the other hand there is outlaw biker club with gorgeous, misunderstood, lethal and dangerous men. Both "worlds" mixed in dark modern fairy tale.
Plus Twilight.
I shit you not. There's straight from the book Bella-Edward-Jacob twist.
Why didn't I DNFed it?
Because no matter how ridiculous it is when you think about it, Hades Hangmen series is a trashy read that gets you addicted. I still want to see how will things work out for Delilah and Maddie. Flame the crazy ape number one and Ky, the whore. This is the series that will make you feel crazy and frustrated and furious at yourself because you're so weak and stupid and you cannot resist reading next sequel.
It's not as if didn't know this would happen. You'd think that I'd learn something from my previous experience when it comes to Tillie Cole. I was so frustrated after finishing Sweet Home and Raze - I DNFed that fucker. What I expected from It Ain't Me, Babe, I have no idea. I blame the hype. Bloody hype! And
Why I do not like this as everyone else does?
Let's start with writing. That is my issue with this author from the very start. I have to say that it is slightly better than the Sweet Rome (I swear, I got diabetes because of that book), but still it's recognizable melodramatic and with a lot of "jungle" sounds descriptions. (If you read it, you'll know what I mean by that.)
Characters. Oh my God, characters. I hate every single one of them. Girls are Victoria's Secret models (but unaware of their beauty, or how sexually attractive they are - despite being told that they are sinners and temptation to all men all their lives). They are like virgins, but they are not exactly virgins. And boys love that shit! They go ape-shit crazy when Mae appears on compound. (And later her sisters.) Speaking about guys... Anyone watching Vikings? Yeah... They are love child of Vikings and King Kong. Plus, some Tarzan and SoA. On meth overdose. Crazy fuckers.
I feel awkward now among all you fangirls.
That's not all.
The story.
Religious cult that uses young girls, lives by crazy-ass rules and basically is lead by pedophiles. on the other hand there is outlaw biker club with gorgeous, misunderstood, lethal and dangerous men. Both "worlds" mixed in dark modern fairy tale.
Plus Twilight.
I shit you not. There's straight from the book Bella-Edward-Jacob twist.
Why didn't I DNFed it?
Because no matter how ridiculous it is when you think about it, Hades Hangmen series is a trashy read that gets you addicted. I still want to see how will things work out for Delilah and Maddie. Flame the crazy ape number one and Ky, the whore. This is the series that will make you feel crazy and frustrated and furious at yourself because you're so weak and stupid and you cannot resist reading next sequel.
September 5, 2022
1 Star
ehh yk this is too graphic for me especially those dark scenes
ehh yk this is too graphic for me especially those dark scenes
Read
October 2, 2022dnf @ 40%
July 30, 2020
Favorite Quotes:
"I learned at a very early stage in life that a person can do just about anything to survive."
"The devil's greatest trick was convincing the world he did not exist,"
"I hope you're the end of my story. I hope you're as far as it goes. I hope you're the last words I ever utter. It's never your time to go..."
"I learned at a very early stage in life that a person can do just about anything to survive."
"The devil's greatest trick was convincing the world he did not exist,"
"I hope you're the end of my story. I hope you're as far as it goes. I hope you're the last words I ever utter. It's never your time to go..."
February 14, 2021
3.5 stars ⭐️
“There is nowhere on Earth I would rather be than here with you. You do not cage me, Styx. You make me soar.”
***
I'm convinced that almost 25% of this book's word count simply consists of the word ‘bitch’ 🤦
“There is nowhere on Earth I would rather be than here with you. You do not cage me, Styx. You make me soar.”
***
I'm convinced that almost 25% of this book's word count simply consists of the word ‘bitch’ 🤦
April 11, 2022
4 stars
Ugh, so I got dragged to read this from tiktok. I've been getting most of my suggestions from there as of late... and I was not at all disappointed. This was one hell of a book. MC Romance is usually a favoured trope of mine... but this book tops the charts. The FMC, Mae, escapes a cult/commune and stumbles upon a clubhouse. As you can probably guess, Mae's world is turned upside when she meets the President, Hades. I loved how Mae evolved as a character...the journey to who she becomes at the end of the book was amazing to read about. Loved the representation of Hades 'The Hangman Mute'. He was in a position of Power while living with a impediment.
This book was a phenomenal start to the series and I can't wait to read the rest.
Ugh, so I got dragged to read this from tiktok. I've been getting most of my suggestions from there as of late... and I was not at all disappointed. This was one hell of a book. MC Romance is usually a favoured trope of mine... but this book tops the charts. The FMC, Mae, escapes a cult/commune and stumbles upon a clubhouse. As you can probably guess, Mae's world is turned upside when she meets the President, Hades. I loved how Mae evolved as a character...the journey to who she becomes at the end of the book was amazing to read about. Loved the representation of Hades 'The Hangman Mute'. He was in a position of Power while living with a impediment.
This book was a phenomenal start to the series and I can't wait to read the rest.
December 14, 2016
Find all of my reviews at: http://52bookminimum.blogspot.com/
3.5 Stars
When I first joined Goodreads I was a super prude and never read books of the porny variety for fear that . . . .
But then something happened that changed everything . . . .
And now my only fear is that somehow I’ll forget to unclick that “share on Facebook” button and all my family will see that I’m a disgusting pervert.
It Ain’t Me, Babe is definitely not for everyone. As with most naughty books, you have to be able to leave your reality at the door – and I mean REALLY leave it at the door. This story is about Mae – a woman who had an unconventional upbringing . . . .
Mae runs away from the commune where she was raised on her wedding day. When she is discovered bleeding and half dead behind the Hades Hangmen’s clubhouse, club President Styx recognizes her from a chance meeting through a fence when they were just children. You know what that means, right? Instalove!!! And also a peen like no other that will help Mae forget all about her rapey past . . . .
Like I said, you have to be ready for the full blown motorbike porn experience to the nth degree with this one. But really, all of these stories are totally OTT so there’s not a point of no return that I can think of with regard to what plotline crosses the line to “not okay” territory. I mean hell, let’s start with the bikers. All us horny geezers get a pretty clear image in our head of what we hope to be reading about . . . .
I was raised by a member of a motorcycle club. Not only do they not do stuff like run guns or drugs (rather they do things like Poker Runs for charity and are a "club" in the sense that they hang out in one dude's garage every week/month and drink beers), but trust me when I say NO ONE looked like Jax. A lot of them looked like Bobby Munson, however . . . .
No one cares, though, and seriously . . . .
That’s what keeps me reading these.
At 460+ pages, It Ain’t Me, Babe was a bit long in the tooth, but it did have a fairly awesome storyline about stuff and also . . . .
That kept my interest. It also had something that everyone else hates, but I love – THE LOVE TRIANGLE!!!!
With a twist even! It helped me overlook some of the stuff that squicks me out bigly – like talk about chicks who really know how to “milk” a dude . . . . .
Ewww.
ORIGINAL "REVIEW":
This combines motorbike porn with a story about a religious cult. It's like my holy grail. Dear Family . . .
3.5 Stars
When I first joined Goodreads I was a super prude and never read books of the porny variety for fear that . . . .
But then something happened that changed everything . . . .
And now my only fear is that somehow I’ll forget to unclick that “share on Facebook” button and all my family will see that I’m a disgusting pervert.
It Ain’t Me, Babe is definitely not for everyone. As with most naughty books, you have to be able to leave your reality at the door – and I mean REALLY leave it at the door. This story is about Mae – a woman who had an unconventional upbringing . . . .
Mae runs away from the commune where she was raised on her wedding day. When she is discovered bleeding and half dead behind the Hades Hangmen’s clubhouse, club President Styx recognizes her from a chance meeting through a fence when they were just children. You know what that means, right? Instalove!!! And also a peen like no other that will help Mae forget all about her rapey past . . . .
Like I said, you have to be ready for the full blown motorbike porn experience to the nth degree with this one. But really, all of these stories are totally OTT so there’s not a point of no return that I can think of with regard to what plotline crosses the line to “not okay” territory. I mean hell, let’s start with the bikers. All us horny geezers get a pretty clear image in our head of what we hope to be reading about . . . .
I was raised by a member of a motorcycle club. Not only do they not do stuff like run guns or drugs (rather they do things like Poker Runs for charity and are a "club" in the sense that they hang out in one dude's garage every week/month and drink beers), but trust me when I say NO ONE looked like Jax. A lot of them looked like Bobby Munson, however . . . .
No one cares, though, and seriously . . . .
That’s what keeps me reading these.
At 460+ pages, It Ain’t Me, Babe was a bit long in the tooth, but it did have a fairly awesome storyline about stuff and also . . . .
That kept my interest. It also had something that everyone else hates, but I love – THE LOVE TRIANGLE!!!!
With a twist even! It helped me overlook some of the stuff that squicks me out bigly – like talk about chicks who really know how to “milk” a dude . . . . .
Ewww.
ORIGINAL "REVIEW":
This combines motorbike porn with a story about a religious cult. It's like my holy grail. Dear Family . . .
December 23, 2014
3.75 Stars
"It’s me babe... Ain’t no other man for you... but me.”
I'm going to have to think on this one. Some things worked for me, and some things not so much. The plot was unique and for the most part, kept my interest. Honestly, I found myself loving and hating it - either I was completely captivated by the story, edge of my seat, page turning or I was rolling my eyes at the cheese being thrown at me. I felt disjointed, and I'm still not sure how I truly feel. I will say for the most part I enjoyed it and I am looking forward to reading more of this series.
"It’s me babe... Ain’t no other man for you... but me.”
I'm going to have to think on this one. Some things worked for me, and some things not so much. The plot was unique and for the most part, kept my interest. Honestly, I found myself loving and hating it - either I was completely captivated by the story, edge of my seat, page turning or I was rolling my eyes at the cheese being thrown at me. I felt disjointed, and I'm still not sure how I truly feel. I will say for the most part I enjoyed it and I am looking forward to reading more of this series.
March 23, 2018
There are so many things I don't like about this book, that I don't know where to start.
Mae: The female main character. Mae’s character is utterly unrealistic, nothing about her was credible. Her character development, her behavior, her thoughts, all are completely incongruous with those of an abused girl who has been forced to live her entire life within the confines of a deeply abusive sect. Where are the psychological ramifications for her abuse I wonder, or the mental shock in the face of being expose to a completely different believe system that defies hers. Where is the adaptation, the trauma?
In light of this, I found very convenient for the author to jump a month into the future. Skipping, this way, all Mae’s first looks into the outside world without having to show or explain her first reactions and thoughts about it. I have to say, it was quite disappointing, but seeing as how Mae was developed after that, and how she magically adapted so completely and without any trouble to life in the MC, it is perfectly understandable that the author decided to make that leap in time. In my opinion, it would have been even better for the author to have skipped at least a year in time rather than a month, because even with that month gap, she failed spectacularly to make Mae realistic and believable.
Also, I found Mae sad. Not that she is sad because of her demeanor and personality, but because of her lot in life and what she ended up choosing for herself. Tragic really, to escape from a cult to end up into another one of a sort. She is sweet yes, but she was severely abused, and in the end, she chose another kind of abuse, not as horrible as the first one, but a kind of abuse nevertheless. Tragically sad, not to say psychologically unhealthy, to choose to be a man's possession after what she had endured.
What Mae truly needed in my opinion, was to find an actual life for herself outside the club life, or religion related life, or any kind of commune like living with their own set of rules of behavioral conduct. She needed to be independent, form her own convictions, morals and believes, be her own self and find people who could actually help her be healthy inside, not to mention find professional psychological help.
Styx: The male main character. He is a narcissistic asshole, obsessive, possessive, controlling and a male chauvinistic neanderthal that has nothing appealing going for him. He is unreasonable, rash, impulsive, selfish, mentally short, inconsiderate and wholly underserving.
Some incidents of the story that made me despise Styx:
- After all, isn’t he suppose to be a tough pride bicker pres?
- Styx reactions throughout the book towards Rider regarding his relationship with Mae are unfair, unwarranted and hypocritical. They are just another show of Styx ’s unreasonable, impulsive, jealous, shortsighted and macho behavior.
- I just can’t bear Styx calling the woman he is suppose to love `bitch´. The bitch calling gets on my nerves every time, no matter how many MC books I read.
The Romance: the romance is not nice, beautiful or well done. I am not referring here to the characters background and plot influencing the romance, I am referring solely to the development of their relationship in matters of love, not situations and happenings due to the story’s sake.
What Mae and Styx have between them is nothing more than instant obsessive love. There is no development of feelings or get to know each other; there is just plane fixation towards one another without any deep reason. This is why, during most of the book I preferred that Mae stayed with Rider and not with Styx . I knew, that was never going to be since Styx was the male MC, but it just made no sense to me a relationship between them. It did, however, made sense a relationship between Rider and Mae. Rider not only treated her much better than Styx, who was an entitled asshole, but they also had a connection, lived together for a month and got to know and care for each other. All the while, Styx was gone and the only thing Mae and Styx had going between them was the 5 seconds meeting when they were kids that left them infatuated with one another.
The love between Styx and Mae makes no sense for many reasons. But, to top it all out, Styx is a major jerk, an no matter how many times Mae says that he was sweet with her, most of what happens between them shows the oposite.
I have read a few books that evolved around Motorbike Clubs. In them, is always apparent the macho mentality and degrading and abusing behaviors towards women. While reading these kind of books, I have always expected these aspects and accepted it all as a reflection of what appears an MC life is in the real world. However, it has never bother me as much as those behaviors bothered me in this book. I am not sure what is the difference between this book and the others, or if there is actually any, but I just can’t stand the sexism here, the controlling and demeaning conducts towards women in this book. I feel is just plain wrong and I am quite disgusted by it. Maybe I am just fed up with so much accepted machismo in romance books, all disguised as swoon worthy shows of love. But the thing is, this book has left me insulted and outraged as a woman.
All of this is why, so many times while reading, I considered not finishing the book. But eventually, I decided to endure and push through all the way to the end, so I could write a complete and more accurate opinion about it. I won’t lie, it has been extremely difficult to finish it. Moments like when Mae said that Styx ended up giving her permission to work, made me want to through my ebook out the window in disgust.
P.S.: Love the cover, hate the title.
Mae: The female main character. Mae’s character is utterly unrealistic, nothing about her was credible. Her character development, her behavior, her thoughts, all are completely incongruous with those of an abused girl who has been forced to live her entire life within the confines of a deeply abusive sect. Where are the psychological ramifications for her abuse I wonder, or the mental shock in the face of being expose to a completely different believe system that defies hers. Where is the adaptation, the trauma?
In light of this, I found very convenient for the author to jump a month into the future. Skipping, this way, all Mae’s first looks into the outside world without having to show or explain her first reactions and thoughts about it. I have to say, it was quite disappointing, but seeing as how Mae was developed after that, and how she magically adapted so completely and without any trouble to life in the MC, it is perfectly understandable that the author decided to make that leap in time. In my opinion, it would have been even better for the author to have skipped at least a year in time rather than a month, because even with that month gap, she failed spectacularly to make Mae realistic and believable.
Also, I found Mae sad. Not that she is sad because of her demeanor and personality, but because of her lot in life and what she ended up choosing for herself. Tragic really, to escape from a cult to end up into another one of a sort. She is sweet yes, but she was severely abused, and in the end, she chose another kind of abuse, not as horrible as the first one, but a kind of abuse nevertheless. Tragically sad, not to say psychologically unhealthy, to choose to be a man's possession after what she had endured.
What Mae truly needed in my opinion, was to find an actual life for herself outside the club life, or religion related life, or any kind of commune like living with their own set of rules of behavioral conduct. She needed to be independent, form her own convictions, morals and believes, be her own self and find people who could actually help her be healthy inside, not to mention find professional psychological help.
Styx: The male main character. He is a narcissistic asshole, obsessive, possessive, controlling and a male chauvinistic neanderthal that has nothing appealing going for him. He is unreasonable, rash, impulsive, selfish, mentally short, inconsiderate and wholly underserving.
Some incidents of the story that made me despise Styx:
- After all, isn’t he suppose to be a tough pride bicker pres?
- Styx reactions throughout the book towards Rider regarding his relationship with Mae are unfair, unwarranted and hypocritical. They are just another show of Styx ’s unreasonable, impulsive, jealous, shortsighted and macho behavior.
- I just can’t bear Styx calling the woman he is suppose to love `bitch´. The bitch calling gets on my nerves every time, no matter how many MC books I read.
The Romance: the romance is not nice, beautiful or well done. I am not referring here to the characters background and plot influencing the romance, I am referring solely to the development of their relationship in matters of love, not situations and happenings due to the story’s sake.
What Mae and Styx have between them is nothing more than instant obsessive love. There is no development of feelings or get to know each other; there is just plane fixation towards one another without any deep reason. This is why, during most of the book I preferred that Mae stayed with Rider and not with Styx . I knew, that was never going to be since Styx was the male MC, but it just made no sense to me a relationship between them. It did, however, made sense a relationship between Rider and Mae. Rider not only treated her much better than Styx, who was an entitled asshole, but they also had a connection, lived together for a month and got to know and care for each other. All the while, Styx was gone and the only thing Mae and Styx had going between them was the 5 seconds meeting when they were kids that left them infatuated with one another.
The love between Styx and Mae makes no sense for many reasons. But, to top it all out, Styx is a major jerk, an no matter how many times Mae says that he was sweet with her, most of what happens between them shows the oposite.
I have read a few books that evolved around Motorbike Clubs. In them, is always apparent the macho mentality and degrading and abusing behaviors towards women. While reading these kind of books, I have always expected these aspects and accepted it all as a reflection of what appears an MC life is in the real world. However, it has never bother me as much as those behaviors bothered me in this book. I am not sure what is the difference between this book and the others, or if there is actually any, but I just can’t stand the sexism here, the controlling and demeaning conducts towards women in this book. I feel is just plain wrong and I am quite disgusted by it. Maybe I am just fed up with so much accepted machismo in romance books, all disguised as swoon worthy shows of love. But the thing is, this book has left me insulted and outraged as a woman.
All of this is why, so many times while reading, I considered not finishing the book. But eventually, I decided to endure and push through all the way to the end, so I could write a complete and more accurate opinion about it. I won’t lie, it has been extremely difficult to finish it. Moments like when Mae said that Styx ended up giving her permission to work, made me want to through my ebook out the window in disgust.
P.S.: Love the cover, hate the title.
January 12, 2015
** 4 "you make me soar" STARS **
“I have only ever liked one boy in my life. I have only ever wanted one man to have as my own. I have only ever had one dream since I was eight. Styx, the dream is you. You stole my heart fifteen years ago and you still haven’t given it back.”
~ MAE
You see, I HATE cult stories. I live in Turkey, where religion determines the lifestyles of most people, and I have always been creeped-out by them. Living under strict religious rules and being a slave in the men's world is one of my absolute biggest fears, so you might understand why I was shocked to see the Glossary part in the beginning of the book, explaining all kinds of weird cult jargon! When we first decided to BR this book with my bestie Sandyღ, I didn't feel the need to read the blurb, and after my first shock subsided, I resolved to give it a try even though I was scared shitless!
Because, goddamn, THIS WAS MAGICAL! Who would have known that the world of leather and oil and sex could work so beautifully with the completely different world of religious cults. It was gut-wrenching and very hard to read at times, but the breathtaking love story made up for all the pain I had to endure... Tillie Cole once again proved to me that she is an expert storyteller! Her writing is flawless and I am obsessed with her books now.
River “Styx” Nash is the brutal, violent and cold President of the Hades Hangmen MC. He is the notorious “Hangman Mute”. He doesn't talk with words. Why would he, when he can perfectly speak with his fists anyway?
“The one thing that stops people ripping on you for being a mute pussy is being a coldblooded killer with fists of iron. Funny how no one openly says a damn thing ‘bout choking on vocab when one smack in the mouth can paralyze from the neck down.”
~ STYX
When Styx finds a bloody injured young woman with long black hair and deep blue eyes next to the dumpster of his compound, he is instantly filled with the feelings of possessiveness and protectiveness. Those eyes, those blue eyes the color of a wolf’s... He knows those eyes. He's been haunted by them for the last 15 years, since that day he kissed the crying girl on the other side of the fence. The girl with the wolf eyes. The girl that managed to make him speak. His "number three"...
Salome / Mae is a "cursed". She is to be married with Prophet David and therefore save the souls of all the sinners in her commune. She has believed and followed the rules of her people for all the 23 years of her sorry life, but after seeing the devastating fate of her sister, she can finally see the EVIL lurking in the shadows of the prayers and talks of the higher power. Determined to rewrite her own fate, she escapes this prison she's been willingly shackled to for all these years and RUNS...
Just when she's about to bleed to death, she is saved by strange men in black leather jackets, one of whom seems familiar to Mae. The one who doesn't talk. The one who uses his hands to sign. Could he be...HIM? The boy behind the fence? Could this man be her first and only kiss?
These two exhausted me. Their road to happiness is a very bumpy one, but I think that's what makes it as beautiful as it is. I wouldn't change a thing about their story.
We were always fated to be together. He is my everything. He is my entire world...Styx is my salvation.
~ MAE
“It’s me babe... Ain’t no other man for you... but me.”
~ STYX
Oh and guess who I liked most in this book? Even more than Styx?
FLAME.
Yeah, that's right. The brooding silent faux-hawked biker with orange flame tattoos up his neck and the word "pain" tattooed on his gums. The guy who constantly gets hard cutting himself with a blade. The guy who gets excited like a 8-year-old while watching someone get tortured. The guy with the crazy eyes and serious anger issues.
Lastly...Rider, you motherf*cker! Even after all the sh*t you pulled, I still love you. I understand your pain and anger, but don't forget:
So why not 5 stars?
1) Because I saw one of the twists coming from a mile away, at the first 20% of the book, which was...underwhelming and a tiny bit disappointing.
2) Because of the ending indicating with whom the other bikers of the club will be mating with. I wanted something different, but oh well...I'm sure Ms. Cole will make it work nevertheless!
“Jesus Christ! Please tell me there’s more hot b*tches in that cell, Mae. One for each of us…”
//////////////
** BR with my lovely bestie Sandyღ! ♥♥♥ **
Thank you so much for being there with me through this painful read babe! I wouldn't have been able to go through it without you...
//////////////
October 7, 2020
Edit: So I was just listening to a song and it keeps on reminding me about this book and even though the book already has an amazing playlist, I want to add this song to it because it just goes with it somehow- Saints
I've never been fond of biker romances for a few reasons- their continuous treatment of women as objects or properties, calling them a bitch (it's supposedly not meant to be bad but it does sound derogatory), and their penchant for violence (o-kay,I know I like action but not without big reasons)
But then I do like a few things too- their loyalty, their brotherhood and the familial bond even when they're not of the same blood.
Okay so why am I saying all this? Because I've been unlucky in this particular trope of romance and I thought- maybe MC romance isn't for me? And it's most definitely NOT. But despite hating all of the things that I mentioned above-even in this book- I ended up close to liking the book itself.
The book has twisted practices of the cult and as opposed to what we might expect, they were the actual sadistic bastards. The club was violent, dangerous and dark too but even they were not as bad as them, and what they did, they did openly, they claimed to it whereas the members of The Order hid it behind the false pretenses of religious BS that wasn't even true. So yeah, it was dark and bone chilling at places but mostly in cult practices. I'm seriously going to prepare myself before the next ones.
Styx was bad and not just badass biker bad but actually bad (this is the stupidest line I have ever written I swear, bear with me🙈) He wasn't exactly upstanding and neither was anyone else. But he was just so sweet to Mae or as they say he was 'whipped' lol. He loved her, was infatuated with her as a young boy but at the end of the day- he loved her. And he played guitar, with the singing and all that.......it was sort of sweet. I liked his dynamic with everyone in the club and Mae. She was sheltered, isolated and really needed his sweet side and that's what she got. He was so rash and rude to almost everyone except her. And while I didn't like that, it was understandable because he was the President of the MC gang.
And I really liked Rider, I still like him a little...but all through I was sad that he didn't get love. Though I'm sure there'll be talk about that in later books, so I'm dropping it for now.
Now, the Psycho Trio- AK, Viking and Flame. They are all worth mentioning, considering they all get books (I think) but the one I liked was Flame. And he was the one who scared me the most too. It was mildly horrifying (understatement) to read about him and I'm sure it would be downright torture to read his book but I'm looking forward to it.Whereas I simply term AK and Viking as obnoxious lol. I'm sure they are bad but in this one, they were just.... obnoxious.
And even if I had any unsettled feelings, this sort of shadowed it for me:
Her face melted into a stunning smile. “You spent so long telling me you were not good for me. ‘It ain’t me, babe,’ you said emphatically. Now I am perfect for you?”
“I was wr-wrong. So d-damn wrong. You need a st-strong man, babe. You n-n-need a man to l-love you, to pr-protect you, to be your f-fuckin’ world.” Her breath paused and I smirked. “It’s m-me, babe. It’s s-so fuckin’ me."
PS: The covers of this series are really beautiful. I'm done, I swear. But really beautiful.
I've never been fond of biker romances for a few reasons- their continuous treatment of women as objects or properties, calling them a bitch (it's supposedly not meant to be bad but it does sound derogatory), and their penchant for violence (o-kay,I know I like action but not without big reasons)
But then I do like a few things too- their loyalty, their brotherhood and the familial bond even when they're not of the same blood.
Okay so why am I saying all this? Because I've been unlucky in this particular trope of romance and I thought- maybe MC romance isn't for me? And it's most definitely NOT. But despite hating all of the things that I mentioned above-even in this book- I ended up close to liking the book itself.
The book has twisted practices of the cult and as opposed to what we might expect, they were the actual sadistic bastards. The club was violent, dangerous and dark too but even they were not as bad as them, and what they did, they did openly, they claimed to it whereas the members of The Order hid it behind the false pretenses of religious BS that wasn't even true. So yeah, it was dark and bone chilling at places but mostly in cult practices. I'm seriously going to prepare myself before the next ones.
Styx was bad and not just badass biker bad but actually bad (this is the stupidest line I have ever written I swear, bear with me🙈) He wasn't exactly upstanding and neither was anyone else. But he was just so sweet to Mae or as they say he was 'whipped' lol. He loved her, was infatuated with her as a young boy but at the end of the day- he loved her. And he played guitar, with the singing and all that.......it was sort of sweet. I liked his dynamic with everyone in the club and Mae. She was sheltered, isolated and really needed his sweet side and that's what she got. He was so rash and rude to almost everyone except her. And while I didn't like that, it was understandable because he was the President of the MC gang.
And I really liked Rider, I still like him a little...but all through I was sad that he didn't get love. Though I'm sure there'll be talk about that in later books, so I'm dropping it for now.
Now, the Psycho Trio- AK, Viking and Flame. They are all worth mentioning, considering they all get books (I think) but the one I liked was Flame. And he was the one who scared me the most too. It was mildly horrifying (understatement) to read about him and I'm sure it would be downright torture to read his book but I'm looking forward to it.Whereas I simply term AK and Viking as obnoxious lol. I'm sure they are bad but in this one, they were just.... obnoxious.
And even if I had any unsettled feelings, this sort of shadowed it for me:
Her face melted into a stunning smile. “You spent so long telling me you were not good for me. ‘It ain’t me, babe,’ you said emphatically. Now I am perfect for you?”
“I was wr-wrong. So d-damn wrong. You need a st-strong man, babe. You n-n-need a man to l-love you, to pr-protect you, to be your f-fuckin’ world.” Her breath paused and I smirked. “It’s m-me, babe. It’s s-so fuckin’ me."
PS: The covers of this series are really beautiful. I'm done, I swear. But really beautiful.
July 20, 2021
BLOG
This book is intense from the first chapter like really intense and I liked it so much. In this book, we follow a girl who is running from a cult and the president of MC and how they are connected from their childhood.
Oh boy, this book is such a dark rollercoaster I was crying in the second chapter and through half of the book, Mae is such a sweetheart I loved her so much she’s strong and kind even after the hell she went through in this cult. Styx is a complicated character and a mysterious one and I got a little annoyed by some of his discussions but he loved Mae so much and this gave me the’ I hate everyone but you’ trope and I love this trope, Rider is such an interesting character some times I wanted to punch him and sometimes I felt bad for him.
This cult was intense and evil omg through the whole book I was thinking how can these people do this to them my heart broke for these girls and what they have to get through from this young age. The last chapter was giving me anxiety like I was there with them It was intense but the ending was satisfying.
The side characters were so interesting we get a lot of glims of them and their upcoming story by the end of the book. This series is addicting I finished this one and started the second one right away because I wanted to know all of their stories and to know more about them and I’m already halfway through the second book.
overall I liked this book so much and I’ll read the whole series this is how much I love this MC🤷🏻♀️
✨✨✨✨
Trigger Warnings: Sexual assult,Pedophilia and Violence
This book is intense from the first chapter like really intense and I liked it so much. In this book, we follow a girl who is running from a cult and the president of MC and how they are connected from their childhood.
Oh boy, this book is such a dark rollercoaster I was crying in the second chapter and through half of the book, Mae is such a sweetheart I loved her so much she’s strong and kind even after the hell she went through in this cult. Styx is a complicated character and a mysterious one and I got a little annoyed by some of his discussions but he loved Mae so much and this gave me the’ I hate everyone but you’ trope and I love this trope, Rider is such an interesting character some times I wanted to punch him and sometimes I felt bad for him.
This cult was intense and evil omg through the whole book I was thinking how can these people do this to them my heart broke for these girls and what they have to get through from this young age. The last chapter was giving me anxiety like I was there with them It was intense but the ending was satisfying.
The side characters were so interesting we get a lot of glims of them and their upcoming story by the end of the book. This series is addicting I finished this one and started the second one right away because I wanted to know all of their stories and to know more about them and I’m already halfway through the second book.
overall I liked this book so much and I’ll read the whole series this is how much I love this MC🤷🏻♀️
✨✨✨✨
Trigger Warnings: Sexual assult,Pedophilia and Violence
July 13, 2014
MY RATING: ☆☆☆☆☆ Stars
It Ain't Me, Babe (Hades Hangmen, #1)by Tillie Cole
You know your reading a good book when
1: You forgot to eat breakfast and dinner time rolls around
2: You're busting to go to the loo but you've reached a good part in the book and just carry on reading and just about piss your pants!!
3: You inhale it
4: You hit a HUGE mother fukka of a book funk!!
5: You hunt down the author for the next installment
I was recommended this by a friend who was reading it also and she loved it, now the sucky thing was where I live we encountered a powercut (4x days) whole town went on black out, and it drove me insane because I couldn't get on line to talk to her about this, rave about this or see what she had rated it less than a 5 *whispers* I was going to hunt her down with my cast iron frying pan to the head lol
BUT anyways this book was the bomb!! It kept me on the edge of my seat many of a time and since I couldn't get on line to talk about it I then resorted telling the partner all about it needless to say he has been MIA since lol
I am sooooooo freaking hanging out for the next book of this!! Seriously all you biker bitches jump on this I guarantee it you will LOVE IT as much as I did!! I have read ALOT of biker books where they now fall into the norm but this one is sooooo far out of that norm box it is not funny, it's such a unique story..Please do yourself a favor one click this bugga and get reading!!
It Ain't Me, Babe (Hades Hangmen, #1)by Tillie Cole
You know your reading a good book when
1: You forgot to eat breakfast and dinner time rolls around
2: You're busting to go to the loo but you've reached a good part in the book and just carry on reading and just about piss your pants!!
3: You inhale it
4: You hit a HUGE mother fukka of a book funk!!
5: You hunt down the author for the next installment
I was recommended this by a friend who was reading it also and she loved it, now the sucky thing was where I live we encountered a powercut (4x days) whole town went on black out, and it drove me insane because I couldn't get on line to talk to her about this, rave about this or see what she had rated it less than a 5 *whispers* I was going to hunt her down with my cast iron frying pan to the head lol
BUT anyways this book was the bomb!! It kept me on the edge of my seat many of a time and since I couldn't get on line to talk about it I then resorted telling the partner all about it needless to say he has been MIA since lol
I am sooooooo freaking hanging out for the next book of this!! Seriously all you biker bitches jump on this I guarantee it you will LOVE IT as much as I did!! I have read ALOT of biker books where they now fall into the norm but this one is sooooo far out of that norm box it is not funny, it's such a unique story..Please do yourself a favor one click this bugga and get reading!!
June 2, 2018
Malo no, lo siguiente. Vaya por delante que Tillie Cole me hace gracia y he leído bastantes libros suyos, pero la trama de este libro es un despropósito. Ha querido meter tantas cosas: un MC con tíos más malotes que los de SOA, una secta religiosa, un prota masculino tartamudo y una protagonista femenina sometida a múltiples vejaciones desde temprana edad... que se le ha ido de las manos. Todo me ha sonado a falso y poco creíble. Encima he acabado con los ojos destrozados de tanto ponerlos en blanco y medio desquiciada viendo que en Texas lo de usar condón no se estila nada.
Para retrato conseguido de lo que es un MC yo recomiendo Undeniable, de Madeline Sheehan, pero ya aviso que NO es un libro romántico.
#Retointimo2018
Para retrato conseguido de lo que es un MC yo recomiendo Undeniable, de Madeline Sheehan, pero ya aviso que NO es un libro romántico.
#Retointimo2018
May 5, 2014
3.5 Commune to Compound Stars
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This is the story of an escaped religious cult member, Mae finding refugee in the arms of a MC President, Styx. I think because I didn't get swept up with Styx and Mae as a couple the story fell flat for me.
The Hangmen Biker Club was an okay club I didn't find them any different from any other biker books. Their dealings with other organizations were broader but their compound ran the same as any other I have read. As for the commune, well I watched HBO’s Big Love and The Order was pretty similar with Juniper Creek minus some of crazy ceremonies etc.
My major issue was once again... a story that wants to me to buy a once meeting between two extremely young kids that instills a bond of forever!! An eight year girl who falls fatefully in love with an 11 year old boy and visa versa from one meeting is complete bull…sorry.
Mae’s adaption to life at the compound was interesting as was Styx and Rider’s feelings for her. I enjoyed Styx’s bad ass leadership of his chapter and I guess I bought his love for “old wolf eyes”.
The convenience of the rescue right at the wedding ceremony…talk about timing.
”It is my love. He has come for me.”
Cain being a part of the cult and not growing up in it and completely unfamiliar with their ways but yet is the successor to the Prophet????
”…I didn’t realize what they were really like…”
The ending with the other hot cursed girls catching the top biker’s eyes had me shaking my head.
”Jesus Christ! Please tell me there’s more hot bitches in that cell, Mae. One for each of us… “
Overall, I found this to be an okay read, although Rider was an interesting character and I probably would pick up his story. So go forth and check it out for yourself because I LOVED this author’s Sweet Home series and it could just be a case that I just wasn’t swept away!
[image error]
This is the story of an escaped religious cult member, Mae finding refugee in the arms of a MC President, Styx. I think because I didn't get swept up with Styx and Mae as a couple the story fell flat for me.
The Hangmen Biker Club was an okay club I didn't find them any different from any other biker books. Their dealings with other organizations were broader but their compound ran the same as any other I have read. As for the commune, well I watched HBO’s Big Love and The Order was pretty similar with Juniper Creek minus some of crazy ceremonies etc.
My major issue was once again... a story that wants to me to buy a once meeting between two extremely young kids that instills a bond of forever!! An eight year girl who falls fatefully in love with an 11 year old boy and visa versa from one meeting is complete bull…sorry.
Mae’s adaption to life at the compound was interesting as was Styx and Rider’s feelings for her. I enjoyed Styx’s bad ass leadership of his chapter and I guess I bought his love for “old wolf eyes”.
The convenience of the rescue right at the wedding ceremony…talk about timing.
”It is my love. He has come for me.”
Cain being a part of the cult and not growing up in it and completely unfamiliar with their ways but yet is the successor to the Prophet????
”…I didn’t realize what they were really like…”
The ending with the other hot cursed girls catching the top biker’s eyes had me shaking my head.
”Jesus Christ! Please tell me there’s more hot bitches in that cell, Mae. One for each of us… “
Overall, I found this to be an okay read, although Rider was an interesting character and I probably would pick up his story. So go forth and check it out for yourself because I LOVED this author’s Sweet Home series and it could just be a case that I just wasn’t swept away!
May 11, 2021
dnf @ almost 40%
- could not connect w/ any of the characters
- the protagonists annoyed me more than once
- the couple was meh, felt really lackluster
- the cult flashback scenes were hard to read
- the way they talk felt a tad bit odd for me
- and ^ that was aside from the constant ‘bitch’ calling
- many scenes made me eye roll so harddddd
- and cringe, it was cheese-fest for me
also, seems like Mae doesn’t have any life outside the cult or something, and i guess it was intentional given her circumstances. some people might loved her more bcs of that, but. it ain’t (gonna be) me babe
- the writing was good,
- and i guess the plot was interesting? objectively?
- i dunno, not for me tho.
- it got boring af along the way anyway
- i kept wanting to get it over with in midst reading
- suffice to say i just don’t care
however, i heard the 3rd book bout Maddie and Flame was great, i would like to see what the fuss was about, so i think imma just skip book 2 and hop there.
(wait, can i?)
- could not connect w/ any of the characters
- the protagonists annoyed me more than once
- the couple was meh, felt really lackluster
- the cult flashback scenes were hard to read
- the way they talk felt a tad bit odd for me
- and ^ that was aside from the constant ‘bitch’ calling
- many scenes made me eye roll so harddddd
- and cringe, it was cheese-fest for me
also, seems like Mae doesn’t have any life outside the cult or something, and i guess it was intentional given her circumstances. some people might loved her more bcs of that, but. it ain’t (gonna be) me babe
- the writing was good,
- and i guess the plot was interesting? objectively?
- i dunno, not for me tho.
- it got boring af along the way anyway
- i kept wanting to get it over with in midst reading
- suffice to say i just don’t care
however, i heard the 3rd book bout Maddie and Flame was great, i would like to see what the fuss was about, so i think imma just skip book 2 and hop there.
(wait, can i?)
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