Michael Buckley > Quotes

“You can't judge the many by the actions of the few.”
― Michael Buckley, The Fairy-Tale Detectives

“That's the coolest thing I've ever seen," Puck said.
"How cool will it be when it kills us?" Sabrina asked.
"Considerably less cool," Puck replied.”
― Michael Buckley, The Everafter War

“I mean, if you could have a wizard grant a wish, would you waste it on going to Kansas?”
― Michael Buckley

“You ignorant little rodent! This isn't just an old book. This is the book of Everafter."
"Sorry, I haven't read it. I'm waiting for the movie," Puck said.”
― Michael Buckley, The Everafter War

“That's why crazy people are so dangerous. You think they're nice until they're chaining you up in the garage.”
― Michael Buckley, The Fairy-Tale Detectives

“The only bad ideas are the ones never tried.”
― Michael Buckley, The Problem Child

“Puck turned to Sabrina. "What is she doing down there?"
Hiding, I guess."
Puck leaned down and poked his head under the seat. "I found you."
Ms. Smirt shrieked.
Puck lifted himself up to his full height and laughed. "She's fun."
He leaned back down and she screamed again. "I could do this all day. Can I keep her?”
― Michael Buckley, The Everafter War

“Please, don't hate me because I am beautiful.”
― Michael Buckley, The Unusual Suspects

“Puck swung the cannon around in anger. The nozzle spun and hit Sabrina in the chest. The force was so pawerful she was knocked right off the platform and fell backward off the tower. She saw sky above her and felt the wind in her hair. How ironic, she thought, as she fell to her certain death, that at that moment she would have given anything to be a giant goose again.
Air rushed past Sabrina's ears and suddenly she felt her back tingling again. A moment later she was hanging upside down, inches from the ground. She looked up to find her savior, only to find that her her wasn't a person but a long, furry tail sticking out of the back of her pants. It was wrapped around a beam in the tower a kept her swinging there like a monkey.
Puck floated down to her, his wings flapping softly enough to allow him to hover.
"I bet you think this is hilarious. Look what you did to me with your stupid pranks. I have a tail!" she raged.
Puck's face was trembling. "I'm sorry."
"What?" Sabrina said blankly.
"I almost killed you. I'm sorry, Sabrina," he said, rubbing his eyes on his filthy hoodie. He lifted her off the tower and set her on the ground.
"Since when do you care?" Sabrina said, still stunned by the boy's apology.”
― Michael Buckley, The Everafter War

“Maybe one of the monsters ate him," Daphne whimpered.
"That would be awesome," Puck said.
Sabrina flashed him an angry look.
"Awesome in a terrible, heartbreakingly tragic way," Puck continued.”
― Michael Buckley, The Everafter War

“Now you get off that Pegasus and come down here and start acting your age!"
"Honey, he's four thousand years old," Veronica said.”
― Michael Buckley, The Everafter War

“Don't duh me!" Puck snapped. "Trying to figure out what you're thinking from one day to the next takes more brains than I have."
Well, maybe you should stop. I'd hate to burn out that little peanut in your head.”
― Michael Buckley, The Everafter War

“Trickster, love will be the end of you.”
― Michael Buckley, The Unusual Suspects

“The night is young, and by the grace of magic, so are we.”
― Michael Buckley, The Fairy-Tale Detectives

“When did you suddenly become Mister Maturity?”
― Michael Buckley, Once Upon a Crime

“He turned into a rhinocerous," Ms. Smirt said.
"He does that," Sabrina said.”
― Michael Buckley, The Everafter War

“You've never heard of the Trickster King?" Puck asked, shocked.
The girls shook their heads.
"The Prince of Fairies? Robin Goodfellow? The Imp?"
"Do you work for Santa?" Daphne asked.
"I'm a fairy, not an elf!" Puck roared. "You really don't know who I am! Doesn't anyone read the classics anymore? Dozens of writers have warned about me. I'm in the most famous of all of William Shakespeare's plays."
"I don't remember any Puck in Romeo and Juliet," Sabrina muttered, feeling a little amused at how the boy was reacting to his non-celebrity.
"Besides Romeo and Juliet!" Puck shouted. "I'm the star of a Midsummer Night's Dream!"
"Congratulation," Sabrina said flatly. "Never read it.”
― Michael Buckley, The Fairy-Tale Detectives

“By the way, you don't need the makeup." Puck said.”
― Michael Buckley, The Problem Child

“Don't disrespect the sword marshmallow.”
― Michael Buckley, The Everafter War

“Keep your paws off my fiancèe, you flea-ridden stray!”
― Michael Buckley, The Inside Story

“So Henry," Puck said as he kicked off his shoes and propped his smelly feet on the kitchen table. "I was wondering what you can tell me about puberty."
Henry turned pale and stammered.
Sabrina wanted to crawl under the table and die.”
― Michael Buckley

“Mirror sighed. "I believe everyone deserves a happily ever after. But I think that happy endings don't just happen by accident- you can't wait for one. You have to make them happen.”
― Michael Buckley, The Everafter War

“I ate her cooking for eighteen years," he whispered. "You get used to it."
"Oh yeah, when?"
"I think it happened around the seventeenth year," Henry said.”
― Michael Buckley, The Everafter War

“But know this, if you get killed out there I'm going to fire you.”
― Michael Buckley, The Everafter War

“But, Dad! We can't leave. Uncle Jake is hurt!" Daphne said. "Besides, that's Pinocchio. I want to get an autograph.”
― Michael Buckley, The Everafter War

“Snow, get behind me!" Charming shouted as he leaped to his feet. "I'll handle this brute."
"Billy", the teacher cried. "This is the twenty-first century, Women don't need the white knight routine anymore. I can fight my own battles.”
― Michael Buckley, The Unusual Suspects

“Puck stopped his drumming [on his belly] for a brief moment and grinned at Sabrina.
I hear they have a lot of plastic surgeons in New York City. If I were you I'd make an appointment for that face as soon as you get there," he quipped.
Sabrina scowled and shook a fist at him. "Keep it up, stinkpot, and you're going to need a plastic surgeon yourself."
Puck winked. "No need to get all mushy on me, Grimm.”
― Michael Buckley, The Everafter War

“And who are you supposed to be? the King of snot-nosed delinquents?”
― Michael Buckley, The Unusual Suspects

“I didn't do it,' he insisted.
'Then why did you run?' Sabrina asked.
'And send rabbits to eat us! I'm a seven-year-old girl,' Daphne said. 'Do you know how important bunny rabbits are to me?”
― Michael Buckley, The Unusual Suspects

“What's the big idea?" Sabrina demanded.
"I declared war on you, remember?" Puck said.
Sabrina rolled her eyes. "Is this another one of your stupid pranks?"
Puck sniffed. "You have contaminated me with your puberty virus and you called my villainy into question."
"First of all, puberty isn't a virus," Sabrina said as she fought a tug of was with the Pegasus for her now rather damp pillow."Secondly, I'm sorry if I gave you the itty-bitty baby and boo-boo face. Do you wasnt me to give you a hug?"
Puck curled his lip in anger.
"Oh, now is the baby cranky. Perhaps we should put him down for a nap?"
"We'll see who's laughing soon enough," Puck said. "You see these flying horses?"
"Duh!"
"These horses have a very special diet," Puck said. "For the last two days they have eaten nothing but chili dogs and prune juice."
Sabrina heard a rumble coming from Puck's horse. It was so loud it drowned out the sound of its beating wings. Sabrina couldn't tell if the churn of the sound was worse for the Pegasus but it whined a bit and its eyes bulged nervously.
Puck continued. "Now, chili dogs and prune juice are a hard combination on a person's belly. It can keep a human being on the toilet for a week. Imagine what would happen if I fed chili dogs and prune juice to an eight-hundred-and-fifty-pound flying horse. Oh, wait a minute! You don't have to imagine it. I did feed chili dogs and prune juice to an eight-hundred-and-fifty-pound flying horse. In fact, I fed them all the same thing!”
― Michael Buckley, The Everafter War