Lessons Learned From My Guru: The Hard Way

Copyright © 2024 Jessica Richmond, PhD.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Disclaimer: This book is not intended to be a substitute for professional therapy or advice. The content provided is for educational and informational purposes only and should not be used to diagnose or treat any mental health or medical conditions. It is recommended that you seek the advice of a qualified professional if you have any concerns or questions about your mental health or well-being. The author and publisher of this book are not responsible for any consequences that may arise from the use or application of the information provided.

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Cover design and illustrations by Devika Menon

Editing by Jessica Kate Brown www.myvedicpsychology.com

ISBN: 979-8-7652-4923-9 (sc)

ISBN: 979-8-7652-4922-2 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2024901861

Balboa Press rev. date: 03/26/2024

Dedication

O n a very rare occasion, someone can suddenly come into your life and change it completely. And that is exactly what happened to me the first day I met my guru, Sri Satyanarayana Dasa Babaji. In the blink of an eye, on January 23, 2015, my life began to transform from a place of darkness and confusion to a place of golden light and divine love. I dedicate this work to Babaji, who has selflessly spent his life tirelessly teaching those who are fortunate enough to come into his sublime association. Before I met Babaji, I was sad, lost, and confused about love and life. Out of infinite compassion, Babaji took the time to share with me the ancient secrets of the Vedas, which have changed my entire life. There are no words I could write to express my gratitude to this saint. The only thing I can do to honor him is to live my life according to the principles of divine love that he has so graciously taugh t me.

Contents

Introduction

1.   Amma’s Blessing in Disguise to Me

2.   Meeting Babaji

3.   Jealous? Who, Me? No, Babaji! It Can’t Possibly Be!

4.   My Biggest Crisis Turned into My Biggest Opportunity

5.   Babaji, Please Advise. What Happens When a Person Dies?

6.   Ancient In dian Stories Unfold at a Modern Psychiatric Hospital

7.   Love Knows No Bounds

8.   Woe is Me. Babaji Triggered My Painful Memory

9.   Babaji, the Saint, Made Me Faint!

10.  Babaji Bashes My Addiction Affliction

11.  Babaji said, Do You Want to Avoid a Disaster? Then Never Outshine Your Master.

Conclusion

About the Author

Introduction

I had no idea what it really meant to have a guru until I met Babaji. Although it is true that, before meeting Babaji, I did have a guru – Amma, the hugging saint – my relationship with Amma was not personal, because she has hundreds of thousands of followers, so it wasn’t possible to know her intimately, or for her to know me in a personal way. Consequently, after I took formal initiation from Amma, not much changed. I just went about my life as usual and periodically enjoyed the gatherings when Amma came to town. We would eat good food together and sing devotional songs ( ki rtan ).

Therefore, five years later, when I met Babaji and took formal initiation from him as my guru, I approached it very casually, not expecting much change. I actually had no idea what I was getting myself into! I was in for a big shock over the next few years as I continued to jump out of the frying pan and into the fire, trying to avoid all the painful ways that Babaji was trying to invoke change. Originally, I wrote about these moments with Babaji in my personal journal, as a way to reflect on and digest them. But over the years, as I heard my clients sharing their struggles, I began to reveal my stories as a way to help them understand the inner workings of their minds. And it seemed to help them. Then I started posting my stories on my blog. The day after each post, my inbox would be overflowing with emails from people sharing similar stories. No matter from what walk of life, somehow, they could all relate to my stories. Babaji then explained to me that storytelling is the most powerful way to teach, citing examples of the most exceptional teachers of the Indian culture that employed storytelling. He disclosed that storytelling dates back to the ancient Indian scriptures, such as the famous Bhagavad Gita, which itself is a story. Storytelling is a brilliant way to get the message across to someone, without bruising their ego. For no one likes it when their mistake, character flaw, inadequacy, or stupidity is pointed out directly. It is much more enjoyable to hear a story of someone else’s ego getting smashed. With this inspiration, I set forth to write a book of my stories.

This book contains 11 chapters, each one a window into one of my experiences of being faced with all the uncomfortable ways in which I was stuck. Each chapter ends with some of my reflections on how things might have been different, if I hadn’t been so averse to change, concluding with a final Lesson Learned. I have also included some space at the end of each chapter for you to reflect upon each story and to jot down your own insights or lessons learned.

1

Amma’s Blessing in

Disguise to Me

H ave you ever heard the saying The worst times are clearing us out for life’s greatest delights? The only problem is, when we are in the thick of it, we often don’t realize that at all. This was surely the case for me as I sat crying on the hard concrete floor, hunched over a tub of Nutella at the Amritapuri ashram in Kerala, India. My roommate was attempting to pull me out of my funk by trying to persuade me to join her for dinner. But I was flatly refusing. The only solace I could find was in the blob of sweet, creamy hazelnut chocolate spread on the tip of my fi nger.

You see, I had just been rejected by my guru, Amma, the hugging saint.

Perhaps you know of her? You may have even had a hug from her. She travels around the world, tirelessly spreading her message of love. Last I checked, Amma had hugged a record 34 million people. Yet, this depressing December day in 2013, I didn’t feel any love at all. The irony was not lost on me – I was at the mother of all love’s ashram, yet I could not feel her love. And even though all the trappings were there to set the mood of love, I still could not get into that groove.

Amma’s ashram is set in South India on the lovely lazy backwaters – a perfect backdrop for the all-night kirtans (singing devotional songs) that invoked a mood of reverence for God. Yet, my only devotion on that particular afternoon was to my emotions that were driving me to sulk in my room.

It didn’t matter to me that I might miss Amma’s spontaneous inspirational talks on the beach or the fresh, hot, crispy, crepe-like masala dosas with delectable coconut chutney. As the palm trees swayed in the breeze, trying to shush my anxious heart, I just could not relax. Even what the locals call God’s Own Country, could not pacify my agitated mind. Why?

Because I had actually come to Amritapuri on a mission.

I had come specifically to ask Amma to bless my book. For it was only with her approval that I felt comfortable to move forward with getting it published. This very simple handbook on Ayurveda was my summary of the main points I had been teaching my clients over the years. I had spent the last 12 months perfecting this practical step-bystep guidebook. I even went to the extent of asking my friend, who speaks Amma’s native tongue, Malayalam, to translate my dedication page. That way, Amma would be able to read it and I could be sure she knew just how devoted I was to her. I fantasized about watching her divine eyes delighting in the lines of my book as I sat at her lotus feet. I would watch her dark-brown finger trace the words: All proceeds from the sale of this book go to Amma. I bow down in deep gratitude to Amma for touching my heart, inspiring me to help others with Ayurveda and psychotherapy, and to persevere when I just wanted to give up.

I imagined Amma’s eyes lighting up with surprise, like she had just won a pot of gold.

Out of a feeling of overwhelming gratitude she would give me a huge hug and thank me for dedicating my work to her. I daydreamed that my act of selfless love and devotion to her would make Amma so happy that she would not only bless the book, but also she would invite me to live at her ashram in South India as a resident healer and author. I played this dream out in my head over and over again.

I didn’t keep this dream just to myself, oh no! I shared my dream with my mother, who lived just one hour away. I would escape to the little island she lived on in southern Florida for weekend retreats. We would take relaxing walks on a private beach, swim leisurely laps in her backyard pool, sip our creamy coffees, and have long, loving talks. My mom would always listen attentively to all my dreams and plans, encouraging me to pursue whatever made me happy.

No matter how far away or off the beaten path my dreams were, she always supported me.

And my mother’s support was no different for this venture to India. She was by my side, listening to my hopes for the future, and quietly supporting me in her gentle way. To prepare for my trip, I had printed my book out on special paper and carefully placed the