Perseverance: Dark Days, #3

Chapter One

Randi carried her duffel bag toward the motor home. They needed to get on the road now that Ethan was strong enough to travel. She glanced around the camp. How did she force herself to get in the RV and leave these people behind? She closed her eyes for a few seconds trying to calm the turmoil swirling in her mind. Someone touched her arm.

The elderly woman who was with the group she and Mark rescued patted her face. Child, do you remember when I told you we weren’t done talking?

Randi nodded. Yes, ma’am. As much as she wanted to avoid this conversation, this woman looked at her with a sweet smile and genuine care in her eyes. Her family called her Granny and the name fit. The tiny woman weighed less than a hundred pounds, had gray hair pulled back into a bun, and wrinkles crisscrossed her rich umber skin. She fit the role of Granny better than anyone Randi had ever met.

Come now, you and I are going to talk before you leave here. She hooked her arm in Randi’s and led her to an empty cabin. She pulled a chair out and motioned to it. You sit. I have some coffee brewing. Let me get you a cup.

She shuffled to the fireplace, poured a cup of coffee and shuffled back to Randi. Thank you. Randi took a drink of the hot brew. Heaven. Despite the bitter twang from open fire cooking, the coffee tasted better than anything she had had in a while. Who found coffee? She took another sip and closed her eyes. Nothing better than a strong cup of joe.

Granny took Randi’s hand between hers. You’re welcome. Now, I want to know why you think you’re worthless when God says otherwise.

I’ve done so many things in my life. Randi hung her head and swallowed over the lump in her throat. Things I’m not proud of.

Like what? Granny continued to clasp Randi’s hand between her frail, thin ones. Ain’t nothing bad enough to separate us from God’s love.

I’ve killed children.

Granny stared at her for a few seconds. Give me the context to that statement, child. I know you didn’t just go out killing no children, but even if you had, God can forgive that.

Randi sucked in a deep breath. Her stomach cramped. When I was in the army, I was stationed in the Middle East. A young girl was in the marketplace. Randi closed her eyes as the girl came flooding into her memory. A beautiful young thing with flawless dark brown skin and eyes the color of bayou moss, had a bomb strapped to her chest. I took the shot. Her voice cracked. Why didn’t I try to subdue her? Anything other than kill her. The scene replayed before her in slow motion. Her heart raced, and her back muscles tightened. Then when we were attacked by Vixen and her group, one of her young girls came to me for protection, but I didn’t save her. They killed her. Not to mention the other people I have killed in war and since this started. Why would God forgive me when I have so much blood on my hands?

Granny squeezed her hand a little tighter. You insist on taking on the guilt of the world, don’t you? Baby, Jesus has already done that. He paid the price. First of all, you do not get to take the guilt for someone else shooting that child at the camp when you were trying to save her. As for the girl who was intent on bombing the marketplace, how many children did you save that day?

What do you mean? Randi stared at the woman. Didn’t she hear her when she said she killed the girl?

How many young’uns were in the marketplace that day?

Randi frowned. I don’t know. Several.

By stopping that girl from setting off her bomb, you saved all of those babies. Not one girl, but quite a few. You saved people. It’s time to let go of that guilt.

But—

I know you’ve gotten comfortable carrying those burdens around. They are your protective cloak. You wrap the guilt around your heart to avoid getting close to people and allowing them to get to know you. Deep down, you are afraid of what people might think of the real you. I wonder if that is why you struggle so much with accepting forgiveness. Honey child, He knows the real you. Psalm 139 says He knows you. He is familiar with all your ways, and He knows what you’re going to say before the word’s even on your tongue. He created your innermost being, and He knit you together in your mother’s womb. God says you are fearfully and wonderfully made. Granny smiled. Do you think you can hide from Jesus?

Randi rubbed her face. But still, how can He forgive what I’ve done?

The same way He forgave David. David was an adulterer and a murderer, yet God says He’s at His right hand.

Ethan explained that, and said David had blood on his hands from war, but—

No buts. Granny laughed. My, you are a stubborn one. You have not murdered anyone. You’ve killed to protect others, but David had an affair with Bathsheba — actually, as the king, he took her. I doubt she had much say so one way or the other. She got pregnant, and then he tried to cover it up. He called Uriah, her husband, home from the front lines of war, hoping he would sleep with his wife so King David might hide his sins. Instead, Uriah was an honorable man and refused to sleep in bed with his wife when his men were fighting. Instead, he slept in the doorway. He returned to the front lines, and David had him killed, and then took Bathsheba as his own wife.

Randi’s eyes went wide. Really? King David did that?

Yes, child. That's what Ethan was trying to tell you. Now, do you understand why I say you’re using your guilt as a cloak?

How do I let it go?

Only one way I know of, baby girl. Granny pointed to the floor. "Get on those knees and pour your heart out to the One who made you and who loves you.

You once told me your momma wasn’t too proud of you. Granny stood and kissed her on the cheek. Trust me, she might not have been the type to say it much, but her heart was might near bursting with pride for her little girl. I’d be proud to call you my own. You are a loving, kind woman who works endlessly to take care of others. Now, let God take care of you and help you deal with that PTSD you’re carrying around. She slipped out the door while Randi sat at the table contemplating her words.

Finally, she stood, walked to the door, and swiped at the wetness on her cheeks. What was with all of these people touching her heart? The thought of losing any of them made her shudder.

Was Granny right? Could God still love her in spite of her bitterness toward Him and the things she had done? Ethan seemed to think so. Before she got to the front door, she sank to her knees on the hard wooden floor. God, I know I’m a disappointment, but if You’ll still have me as Yours, then please help me. I do not want to live like this any longer. I want the joy Ethan and Granny have. They are the most loving people I have ever met. I want to be like them and to have their peace more than anything. Help me, Lord.

Randi stood, brushed the dust off her knees, and walked out the door. Freedom. So that’s what the others had that she did not understood. Freedom in Jesus?

JOSH TURNED TO XEVER. Thanks for helping us load up.

Xever hugged him. Keep my girl safe. If you can.

Adriana grabbed him. Tears flowed down her cheeks. I’ll miss you. She gave him another squeeze. You’d better take care of yourself, and I’d appreciate it if you don’t let my sister do anything too stupid.

He chuckled. We’ll take care of her. I promise.

I know Randi. She patted his arm. Just do your best. She’s stubborn and rushes headlong into danger, but don’t forget to take care of yourself, too. I want all of you to come back, soon.

Josh hugged her tight. We’ll all be careful, and you know with Ethan and Nia on our side, we’ll be bathed in prayer. We are starting with the military bases in San Antonio since ee’ve seen planes flying overhead for a while now. With the number of military facilities there, maybe we can get some help, and not have to chance the trip to USMARIID.

That’s what I’m praying for!

Toni’s sobs grew loud and snagged his attention. She had her face buried in Randi’s shoulder, and her little arms clung to her adopted mom’s neck so tight Randi might never get loose from her. You’ll come back? She lifted her head and looked at Randi. Promise?

Randi sucked in a noisy breath. Baby, I told you I’ll come back if there’s any way possible. She stroked the child’s hair. You know how bad it is in this world, so I can’t promise nothing will happen to me, but I will always come home to you if I’m able.

Toni nodded, and her sobs subsided but her chin quivered.

I love you. Randi gave her another squeeze. You have to stay with Aunt Adriana. Mind her and remember she loves you, too.

Yes, ma’am. She’s gonna teach me to pray for you every day.

Randi kissed the top of her head. Thank you, baby. Your prayers mean a lot to me. I love you.

She climbed into the RV and flopped onto a sofa. Josh followed behind and sat beside her. You okay?

Red rimmed her eyes, and they drooped slightly at the corners. Yeah, I’m fine.

No, you aren’t. He rubbed her back. None of us are fine with leaving our loved ones behind.

It has to be done, so I need to suck it up and deal with it. She leaned her head back against the sofa and closed her eyes. Besides, Reginald has to deal with more than I do. He is leaving his girls behind right after they lost their mom and brother. How messed up is that?

Mark climbed in and wiped his nose. Is everyone ready?

Nia stretched out at the dining table. Reg is still telling his girls bye. Give him a minute. This has to be breaking his heart.

Josh’s gut ached. Randi was right. Uncle Reg leaving his girls behind had to rip him apart. He was grieving Aunt Mary Anne and David. Now, he had to walk away from his daughters. He ground his teeth. God forgive him, but doubts crept into his mind the more tragedy they faced.

He glanced over at Ethan. The man sat next to Nia and had his head bowed. He could take some lessons from Ethan. The man had faith no matter what happened.

Uncle Reg climbed in, and Mark started the vehicle. Dark shadows hung underneath his uncle’s eyes, and fine lines creased his forehead. I’m going to lie down for a while. Let me know when I need to drive. He turned and walked toward the back.

Josh leaned back and closed his eyes for a long while. When the RV slowed, he shook himself awake. A woman stood in the middle of the road and waved her arm. Vixen! Go around her.

No. Randi sat up. Mark, you have to stop. I’m not leaving her to wander around and gather up another group willing to attack our families. It’s bad enough that we have to leave them in a well-known campground vulnerable to anyone who might want to attack. I will not leave a known risk wandering around.

She’s right. Nia twisted around to face Josh. The risk is too great. We’ve gotta deal with her. I don’t know what we’ll do, but we risk the camp if we leave her alone.

What if she’s armed? I don’t trust stopping to talk to her. She may have fifty people hiding waiting to ambush us. Josh jammed his hand through his hair. Come on, this woman tried to kill all of us.

We have to do what’s right. Even if our flesh rebels at the thought. Ethan walked toward the front. You can cover me. I won’t step outside, but I’ll bring her in, check for weapons, and we can make some decisions. If you’re afraid of an ambush, as soon as she steps inside, Mark can drive away.

As the vehicle rolled to a stop, Josh moved to one side of the door. Randi joined him on the other side. They held their weapons at the ready. His heart pounded in his ears.

Ethan opened the door a crack. Get inside. As soon as she stepped through the door, Randi slammed the door and Mark hit the gas. Vixen swayed with the motion of the RV and reached to grab the wall. Ethan pointed to the nearest chair. Sit. Tendons stood out in the woman’s neck, and her hands shook.

Are you going to kill me? Sweat beaded on her face and the stench of fear surrounded her. How was someone so evil such a chicken?

Randi stood over her and glared at her. We should. After what you did to us, you deserve to die, but unlike you, I’m not a murderer.

You armed? Ethan asked.

She shook her head. I lost my gun.

Ethan motioned for her stand. You do understand why we won’t take your word for it, right?

Nia patted her down. Not that the vile creature could conceal much in that skin-tight leather. She’s clear.

We’ll take you back to our camp. Randi sighed. You will be under twenty-four-hour watch.

No! Vixen’s eyes grew wide, and she sank back into the chair. Her tanned face drained of color. Bryan will kill me when he sees me.

Do you blame him? Josh crossed his arms. Lady, you’re lucky I didn’t put a bullet in your head as we drove by. After what you did to my family, you don’t deserve to take another breath.

Tears ran down her face, and snot dripped off the end of her nose. Please don’t take me there. Was she a terrific actor or truly more terrified of Bryan than of them?

What do you suggest, then? Randi shoved a tissue in the woman’s hands. Should I shoot you and put you out of my misery?

Vixen blanched. Take me with you. I will not try anything. I promise.

Ethan knelt in front of her. You have to understand why none of us trust you.

She nodded and took a shuddering breath.

If we take you with us, what’s stopping you from slitting our throats in our sleep?

I won’t. She rubbed her face. You don’t have any reason to trust me, but I swear, I won’t try anything.

Reginald is our first priority. Adriana will keep Bryan from hurting her. Randi suppressed a yawn. Whatever we decide, we need to do it, now. Dealing with her has already delayed us. It’s time to get moving.

Uncle Reg walked out of the bedroom. He pointed at Vixen, and his hands shook. Was he going to shoot her where she sat? What is she doing here?

RANDI SUPPRESSED THE urge to throttle Vixen. Just knowing the evil woman still walked free when she’d killed so many made Randi’s heart hurt. Adriana’s admonishment came flooding back to her. She had told Randi revenge was never right, and they needed to learn to forgive Vixen. She closed her eyes. How could she forgive someone who was responsible for her mother and her brother’s deaths? Not to mention all of the others she had grown to care about. The wicked worm had wreaked havoc on her family.

Ethan often told her forgiveness was for her, not the person who had wronged her. If she held on to that anger and hurt, it would eat her alive from the inside out. She closed her eyes and folded her hands. God, I have no clue how to do this. Help me to forgive this vile, evil woman. She killed my family. I want to wrap my hands around her skinny neck and choke the life out of her. I know You don’t like hearing that, but Ethan and Granny said to tell You everything because You already know what’s in my heart, anyway. So, help me out here, before I kill her. A preacher once said to come to You and say, Have mercy on me, a sinner, Lord Jesus. I’m asking for Your grace and mercy to help me out of this.

Reginald flopped into the seat next to Randy. You’re really not going to kill this witch after all that Vixen did to our family?

I can’t. Randi rubbed her temples. She’s unarmed.

You’ve got to be kidding me. Reginald’s nostrils flared. She murdered my wife, your brother, and your mother, and you are going to let her sit there taking another breath? I thought you, of all people, understood the need to shoot her on sight. I depended on you to avenge Mary Anne.

Vengeance is Mine, says the Lord.

Why are you quoting the Bible to me? His lip curled, and he wrinkled his nose. Really? You know I don’t believe that bunk. If your family’s God has any power, why hasn’t He zapped her last breath from her body? He is not avenging anything. You’re the last person I expected to quote that nonsensical myth to me.

I wish I could assuage your pain, but she’s unarmed and not actively trying to harm us. Randi swallowed the lump in her throat. I can’t kill someone in cold blood. Self-defense is one thing, but man, killing her right now, when she is sitting in the seat alone. No, I’m not a murderer. I’ve done plenty to be ashamed of, but I have never murdered anyone and don’t plan to start now. She rubbed her sweaty palms on her jeans. I’d be lying if I told you I didn't think about choking the life out of her, but I could never live with myself if I acted on it. I have too much blood on my hands as it is.

She crossed her arms and looked at the woman cowering in the chair. What’s your real name? I refuse to call you Vixen.

The woman kept her head lowered but raised her eyes and looked up at Randi. Abigail Johnson. My friends called me Abby.

Okay, Abigail. Let me look at that arm.

No! She cowered back even further into the armchair. You’re going to hurt me.

Not intentionally, but yeah, it probably will. You have a gunshot wound. Randi pounded her fist against the side of her leg. Let me put it this way. You can either let me look at your arm, or you can develop an infection, or worse, gangrene. Either will kill you without treatment. That is fine by me if you want to die a slow painful death. It’ll save me from trying to figure out what to do with you.

Abigail’s face went ashen and her lips trembled. Okay. Just don’t kill me.

Randi sneered at the woman. If I was going to kill you, you’d be dead. Now, if you want that arm taken care of, follow me to the bedroom. Otherwise, let it rot. Randi spun on her heel and stalked toward the back of the swaying RV. She half hoped the witch decided to stay put until she died.

Abigail stood at the door and watched Randi ready the supplies with wide eyes. How are you going to deaden it?

Lidocaine.

Is that enough? Will it work?

It’ll work, but it’s still going to hurt. Randi took a deep breath. God help me love my enemy because right now, I really want to deck the woman.

I’ll give you pain pills and antibiotics. Now, sit on the bed and let me look at it, or shut up and go back into the main area. Your choice.

Abigail stumbled toward the bed as the RV hit a rough spot and she flopped onto the edge of the bed. Her pulse throbbed at the side of her throat.

Voices from the front carried back to them, but Randi couldn’t hear them well enough to make out what they were saying.

She picked up the scissors.

Abigail grabbed at her arm. What are you going to do with those?

Cut your sleeve. It’s the only way I can see the wound. Randi ground her jaw. I need to see if the bullet went through or if it’s lodged in your arm.

A...are you a doctor?

No, I was a medic for a short time in the Army. Randi whacked the scissors on the palm of her hand several times. Are you going to let me do this, or are you going to question me every step of the way?

She bit her lip. Go ahead. Her shrill voice made Randi cringe.

For someone bent on destroying others, this piece of work was the biggest coward she had ever met. Randi sliced her sleeve up to her shoulder. Abigail’s arm was sweaty. Body odor permeated the room. Why did she wear leather when it was impossible to shower?

Randi scrubbed the arm, and injected the area around the wound with lidocaine. While she waited for it to deaden, she stared at Abigail’s purple eyes. Why do you wear those ugly contacts? Do you like looking like a weirdo?

Abigail shrugged but refused to look at her.

Do you need them to see?

No.

You’re out wandering around without saline solution or anything else to take care of them. Do you want to risk corneal abrasions and possible blindness just so you can appear freaky?

I hadn’t thought about it.

Bathroom’s right there. Randi motioned to it. While we wait for the deadening to take effect, go remove them before you destroy your eyesight. If you go blind because of your own stupidity, I am not leading you around by the hand. You will have to figure out how to navigate through the sick without sight.

Abigail gave a quick nod and scurried to the bathroom.

You think she’s going to give us trouble? Josh asked as walked into the room.

Randi grimaced. Who knows? I do not plan to leave her alone, and she won’t be armed. Besides, as soon as I can find somewhere to dump her far, far away from our family, she’s gone.

REGINALD GLARED AT Josh and the others. How could his nephews betray him by bringing that trash into their group? You’re all worthless. That woman should not breathe the same air as decent people. Why didn’t someone kill her? You know what she’ll do the first chance she gets.

Reg, come on, man. No one here can kill someone like that. Ethan held his hands out. We thought about leaving her, but Randi’s afraid she will find another group and attack those we left behind.

She probably would, but she’s not the only threat out there. He flopped onto the sofa and glared at all of them. Just the one who murdered our family. I expected Randi to have the guts to do something about the heinous psychopath.

Stop it! Mark glanced over his shoulder. You and Josh expect the most damaged person in the bunch to take care of any problems we have, even if it means murdering someone. If you wanted her dead so badly, why didn’t you do it? Randi does not need any more crap piled on her, and if you and your nephew do not realize that, then I am ready to let y’all go on without me. I’m sick of this.

Reginald stared at Mark with his mouth agape. She’s a soldier. This is her job.

Wrong answer. Mark gripped the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white. We’re all grieving. You have not cornered the market on it. Randi is still grieving over her past, her mother, and her brother, but you and Josh seem to think she is strong enough to take care of everything. If I ever hear you berate her over not killing Vixen, then you will answer to me. I’ll tell your nephew the same thing.

He’s your brother.

Right now, I don’t claim him or you. Mark growled. Dang it! Sit there and shut up. I am so angry with you right now that I cannot see straight. I am not discussing this any further. You better leave Randi alone, or I’ll put you out here and now. Same goes for anyone else in this RV.

Reginald stared at the back of Mark’s head. How did he even respond to the kid?

Nia reached over, grasped Reginald’s hands, and bowed her head. Great. Another Jesus freak trying to change him. He stared at her, daring her to start her spiel. After a bit she lifted her head, smiled, and gave his hands a squeeze, but never said a word.

Thank goodness. Mark’s vitriol made his skin crawl. He sure didn’t need another sermon. His nephew was wrong. Randi should have taken care of the evil that had invaded their lives. He patted the weapon on his hip. His hands trembled, and his stomach rumbled. If Randi didn’t have the wherewithal to take eliminate the murderer, then time to take matters into his own hands.

Gritting his teeth, he stood, rested his hand on his weapon, and stalked to the back room, swaying with the motion of the RV.

Randi glanced up from suturing the bug’s arm. Hey, Reg.

Uh. Hi. Vixen had removed the freaky contacts. Her eyes were a light brown. She blinked rapidly and stared at him with her mouth open. His hand slipped off the weapon. He pivoted and marched back to the front. What was he thinking? He couldn’t kill the woman when she was unarmed, staring at him like a lost little girl. How could someone so evil appear so scared and vulnerable?

Chapter Two

Bryan walked into the kitchen where Adriana was cooking eggs. He frowned. Didn’t they leave all of the chickens behind? Where’d you get the eggs?

Lainey, Blade, and Darius went back to the compound and captured as many chickens as possible. They built a coop out back. Adriana motioned to the rear of the cabin. I figured the hens might be too traumatized to start laying anytime soon, but Toni and Lori brought me eggs this morning.

How many of the chickens did they find, and who are Lainey and Blade, again?

Lainey and Blade were in the campground when we came here. Don’t worry, I can’t keep up with everyone, either. In fact, I’m not even trying to learn their names. I decided that in small towns, not everyone knows each other’s names, so I choose not to feel guilty. She chuckled. I think there are twenty or so chickens. On our next run, we need to hunt for chicken feed or we’ll have to start frying them up. Not something I want to do. We’ll have food longer if we can keep them alive and laying. Since we have a rooster, I’m hoping at least one of our hens will go broody. We need to keep replenishing our supply of laying hens.

Agreed. He grinned. Though, I’ve never heard the term ‘broody’.

I have a friend who had a boutique farm. She sold organic foods, and I learned a tiny bit from her. She sat a plate in front of him. Not much to eat, but we have to ration our supplies. At least until we can get a large garden going.

Bryan nodded. I’m going to get Cooper to help me today. We need to clear more cabins so we can stretch out.

Yeah. We are on top of each other. Also, we need to see if our greenhouse survived and find more seeds. Maybe get some seedlings, if we can find any at a garden center.

I’ll put that on my list of things to search for. When do we start planting?

Mid-March is usually a good time around here. If we can jump start them in the greenhouse, we’ll have food sooner.

Got it. Not sure we can get everything accomplished today, but we’ll do what we can. Bryan stood and put his hand on her shoulder. We’ll do everything we can to make this a safe community. He scratched his neck. Why didn’t he take Vixen out before her group attacked? He could’ve done it before Adriana and the rest even knew she was stalking them.

Adriana patted his hand that still rested on her shoulder. We’ll all work together to do just that.

He cleared his throat. Have you seen Cooper?

Yeah. He’s teaching the group from Vixen’s how to milk goats.

Bryan waved and walked out the door. The goat pen sat behind the cabin. Next to it sat a large chicken coop.

Cooper grabbed a bucket of milk and headed his way. He motioned to the hen house. They did a great job, didn't they?

It’s awesome. Who built it?

The women and girls from Vixen’s group. I’ll admit I was a little hesitant to trust them considering who they were with, but I’ve gotten to know the older women and several of the teens. Cooper stroked the fuzz on his chin. Was he growing a goatee? They weren’t really Vixen’s followers, just stayed there out of self-preservation.

That’s great. You want to go with me to search out more cabins? The more we can clear, the safer we are. Not to mention, we can then spread out a little. Bryan motioned to the group milking the goats. I’d imagine they’re claustrophobic with so many people in that one cabin.

Sure. Let me drop off this milk. Several people are going to make butter and cheese. We’ve already taken a few buckets to them.

How are they storing it to keep it from getting too hot?

They make hard cheeses out of the milk. One of teens from Vixen’s crew, Sam, grew up in a survivalist camp. She knows all kinds of stuff. Anyway, the hard cheese doesn’t have to be refrigerated, but to keep it cool, they’re going to submerge it in the river, since the Frio’s pretty cold. They do the same with the milk and butter. Milk won’t last as long. A couple of people talked about an ice cave up on Old Baldy. Sam plans to hike it and see how cool it is. She said if it’s cold enough, we can store stuff in it.

Bryan frowned. Old Baldy?

He pointed as they stepped on the porch at Vixen’s group’s cabin. It’s called ‘Old Baldy’ and is big enough to be considered a small mountain, I guess. He knocked on the door and the older woman answered. Was her name Mabel? They had so many people living in this one cabin there was no way to keep them straight.

Come right on in here. She opened the door wider. Just take that in yonder to the kitchen.

Cooper complied and Bryan smiled at the woman. Are you comfortable enough in here? Cooper and I are going to clear more cabins. You can move people around if you need.

The woman smiled, easing the smoker’s wrinkles around her mouth. Her pale skin had tanned a little in the few days they had been at the camp. She looked healthier. Maybe Vixen kept her inside all of the time. That’s mighty sweet of you. We are wall-to-wall people, but until these young’uns are more comfortable around here, I’d rather not split them up. They’s all still a little scared of y’all.

Yes, ma’am. I understand, but if you want more room, let me know.

Cooper came back into the room with a couple of teenage girls following him.

How can there still be people or the sick in the cabins? Wouldn’t we have heard them by now? one of the girls asked.

Possibly, but we’re loud. They could’ve kept quiet to hide from us. As for the dead, if we haven’t checked the cabins, we would not hear them groaning. Bryan tapped his foot. They needed