How E.T Phone Home Made Me a Millionaire, TWICE!

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Copyright © 2023 Wendell Parnell

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other non-commercial uses permitted by copyright law. or permission requests, write to the publisher, addressed Attention: Permissions Coordinator at the address below.

ISBN 978-0-9925713-8-2: digital edition 2023

Madhouse Media Publishing | www.madhousemedia.com.au

Written and distributed by Wendell Parnell

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My Notes

Most names in this book are real. Other names have a slight twist to them. I have written everything I can remember. I am sure most of the events are true and correct. I have a very dark sense of humour which you will easily pick up, especially in some of my ‘Nutter’ and ‘Con Men’ stories.

I say a lot of things ‘tongue in cheek.’ I’ve been advised to change certain words and stories, but I can’t. It is what it is, including the obvious typing errors too! I haven’t written anything that should offend anyone. Well, I hope I haven’t! My apologies if I have. I don’t think any of my contemporaries who were working for Telstra back then are still working for Telstra today.

They are possibly working for other companies, paying off their mortgages, and may even wonder how Ben and Wendell are faring.

As a matter of fact, extremely well. Both are retired and enjoying life, thanks to all of you, says two Naïve Greenhorns.

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ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

I am dedicating this book to my loving and hard-working wife, Deirdre Parnell, and my ‘dodgy’ business partner Ben Stuckey. Without these two, I probably would still be singing, It’s a long way, to the top, if you want to sell mobile phones! Their unwavering and tireless support has helped me achieve my retirement fund sooner than expected.

Both Deirdre and Ben have been an integral part of this endeavor.

We celebrated Ben’s 50th birthday in Bali in March 2023. He has also laid many golden eggs for his retirement fund. Thank you, Deirdre, and Ben.

BEN, DEIRDRE AND WENDELL AT BEN’S 50TH IN BALI 2023.

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Preface

I sent the following message to Ben Stuckey on Sunday 13 November 2022 at 10:20 pm. He was in Bali, and I was in Perth.

"Hey Ben, remember the Lord Alan Sugar book you gave me to read in Bali last October? Well, I am halfway through reading it. Funnily enough, you and I have remarkably similar stories to his story. Sadly, you and I ended up as mere ‘Yobbo Millionaires’ compared to him being a ‘Lord Billionaire’. I am now going to write my own storybook:

How E.T. Phone Home Made Me a Millionaire, TWICE!

I am damn sure this book will be enjoyable reading for young and old business-minded people. Especially for new entrepreneurs wanting to try their luck in business.

Thirty years have flown past so quickly. It is only now writing this book, that I am recalling all the fun we had and all the risks we took. If I could only turn back time.

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Table of Contents

Forward

Street Level Advice for Young and New Entrepreneurs

Part 1

Chapter 1

Myanmar to Australia 1963

Perth 1963-1967

Drumming days, Music Australia 1967-1990

Music Perth 1983-1990

Chapter 2

Music Kuala Lumpur 1991-1994

Chapter 3

A Second Career, Tele-Communications

Chapter 4

Meeting the Industry

Chapter 5

Meeting Charles

Chapter 6

Luck and Risks

Chapter 7

With A Little Help from my Friends

Chapter 8

Naming the shop ‘E.T. Phone Home’

Chapter 9

E.T. Phone Home Opening Day 1st July 1994

Chapter 10

First Break-in

Chapter 11

Damage Control via Media

Chapter 12

Ben and I Wore Cheap Suits

Our Patch

Back to the Story

Our Lord and Masters

Chapter 13

These are two delightful stories:The Beatles Dolls

Topolino and the Armani Leather Jackets

Chapter 14

Dirty Deeds, Done Dirt Cheap.

Chapter 15

Customer Service

Amy, the Bikie’s Girlfriend

Mobile Phone Disappearing in Shop.

Chapter 16

Second Break-In

Third Break-In

Chapter 17

Charles my Landlord

Theevin - My Security Guru

Chapter 18

Adelaide Grand Prix 1995

Chapter 19

Spielberg shuts down E.T. Phone Home

Newspaper Ads read: Phone Shop ex E.T. Phone Home

Chapter 20

Buying Phone Shop Garden City 1996

This is one story that changed the course of my business.

Chapter 21

The Dudes from One-Tel

Chapter 22

Deirdre Comes Aboard

Director Deirdre

Deirdre Robbed and Bashed

Nurses’ Version of Bashing

Ambulance Officer

Deirdre’s Version

Hello Darling Novelty Phones

Fair Work case with the Twins.

Coloured Girl’s Big Breasts

Chapter 23

TV Radio and Newspaper Advertising 1997

Chapter 24

Nutters and Con Men Stories :Electro Magnetic BOX

The Lebanese Connection

Black Dollars

Chapter 25

Meencomm Takeover 1998

Eyelevel Communications Takeover 1998

Chapter 26

Subiaco Business Central 1997

Panasonic Court Case

Chapter 27

Melbourne Cup Competition at Garden City 1999

Chapter 28

Belmont Forum Little Shop

Chapter 29

Telstra Opening at Garden City

Chapter 30

Becoming Disillusioned with Telstra

Chapter 31

Had Some Big Wins 2001: Smashing Telstra’s Glass Window

We Had A Telstra Win

A Big Brightpoint Refund

Citibank

Dharma and the Tax Office

Part 2

Chapter 32

The Tide Turns

Chapter 33

Belmont Forum New Refit 2002

Chapter 34

Ben growing wings 2002

Chapter 35

Sean was Popular in Belmont.

Chapter 36

Belmont Forum Ending 2010.

Buyer 1

Buyer 2

Buyer 3

Buyer 4

Fonezone

Buyer 5

Chapter 37

Where Are They Now? - Ex-Staff Doing Well

Ben Stuckey

Tim Guest

Neil Randle

Charisse Parnell

Tasha Jane (my other dodgy daughter)

Shane Durrant

Mathew Wall

Siska Presila Fletcher.

Kathy Russo

Danny Wilder

Laura Shockthorap

Mosharraf Hossain

Sickies

Ratbag Staff

Mobile Phone and Accessory Wholesalers

Accessory Wholesalers

Chapter 38

Miss Maud’s My Head Office

Saturday Breakfast

Uniforms & Choosing the Right Workers

Chapter 39

Things That Made Life Hell

New Design Chiefs Telstra Didn’t Need

ICE-Tech, IT Programmers Telstra Did Need

Chapter 40

Interesting Short Stories – Telstra Woo Us

Bledisloe Cup Melbourne 2001

The 2000 Sydney Olympics

The Olympics

Day 1

Day 2

Day 3

Day 4

Day 5

Day 6

World Master of Business Conference 1999

About the Author

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Forward

Street Level Advice for Young and New Entrepreneurs

When I was 43 years old, I was unemployed, had no superannuation fund, not one cent saved for my retirement and had very little money in the bank. Luckily, I half owned a house in Dianella, a northern suburb of Perth. The house was worth $220,000. Therefore, I was not doing too badly, but not doing too well either.

Then for the next twelve years, from the tender age of 43, until my younger age of 55, I discovered a good business opportunity staring me in the face, a rather risky one at that. I saw a chance to secure my retirement fund. So, I jumped in, following my gut instinct but cautiously. I worked ridiculously hard in the unknown world of telecommunication retail sales. Later as I learned more, I took on more risks in expanding that business and the best part of this story is that I crossed the line and made it.

I ran with the telecommunications industry, which was in its infancy. It was certainly pure good luck to have found it. My story is all about luck, risk-taking, working diligently and following your gut instincts.

What I am about to tell you, most people find hard to believe at first, but it is all true. When I tell anyone that I only went to high school in Australia for six months, they go: Really, yeah sure, whatever! I never went to primary school in Australia. I am talking about my first year of high school here in Perth, Western Australia. The average student spends five years in high school before taking up a trade or general work. Some students opt for higher education or go on to university. I gave up school the day I turned 14, against my parent’s wishes. God love and bless them both (RIP).

When I arrived in Australia in December 1964, I was 13 years old. I soon found out about money and wages in Australia, by talking to the boy who sold the Daily News, Perth’s afternoon newspaper in the city. He earned more money in a month than an average adult in Burma/Myanmar in 1963. This was only a part-time job for him after school. I convinced myself not to attend school anymore after the day I turned 14. Instead, I’d sell newspapers all day, every day in the city. I figured out I could earn or make twice as much per month as the average adult back in Burma (calculating on the black-market money exchange rate). I would be extremely rich soon, that was, according to my calculations. This was the dream of a mere adolescent, determined to succeed in life.

In theory I was right; but one couldn’t live on 12 pounds a month in Australia in 1964. You could easily do that in Burma back then, especially with the black-market money exchange rates that went on there. I thought I had all the answers, I knew it all at my young pubescent age of 14. Today I would not advise anyone to quit their education as I did.

Education requirements, economic conditions and working circumstances are very different nowadays. The world has changed, and you need a good education. I mean, go to university level if possible. Then if you’re lucky enough, you might find a suitable job to survive and enjoy the rest of your living days. It’s tough out there in this ‘IT’ world. Think very carefully about your future, don’t do what I have done, as not many make it, doing it my way.

If you are asking yourself, what can you learn from this book, keep reading. There is a lot to be learned here. My advice is simple. Get educated first, but if you see an opening to improve your future, go for it. Don’t be scared. Life is one big risk.

If somebody wants to sell you a restaurant for $250,000, don’t jump into it unless you are a well-qualified chef with a big following, at the very least. I can name lots of Australian and overseas chefs, who have failed when they opened a restaurant. We all know at least one. There are some well-known successful TV personalities like Jamie Oliver and Manu Feildel, just to name a few. It’s not easy to operate a restaurant. You almost need to be there personally 24 hours a day, or you’ll go bust. Now, that is a fact, ask any chef.

Most inexperienced young people think that by opening a small coffee shop or café and investing around $100,000 to $150,000, they are going to be successful and rich. This is rarely true. Unless that coffee shop was selling about 300 coffees or more per day, don’t touch it. Once you lose that type of money in a failed venture, your whole life will be ruined, especially if you start at a young age.

You read regularly on Facebook, on Instagram or anywhere on the internet, ‘that by investing $250 in some Ponzi scheme they advertise, you will get a return of $1,450 in eight weeks.’ It’s bullshit. It’s a scam. Ask parents for advice, ask other people in business, ask people who have gone bust, speak to your accountant, and ask him to look carefully into all your business ventures.

For every 100 businesses that are up for sale, only 20 percent of the businesses sold will survive if that. Sadly, most people lose their money quickly by jumping into business without understanding numbers.

Do the numbers stack up? Why would someone offer you 11% interest on a term deposit when the big banks are only offering you 3%? For lessons one, two, and three, there are no free lunches because they are not free. The get-rich Bitcoin or Crypto-related Ponzi currency schemes are rampant out there. Most internet get-rich schemes and offers are scams. They use photos of Elon Musk and Gina Rinehart to lure you in. See the photos below. They are not going to make you rich. If anything, it will make you poorer. Unless you first bought into it when it was first offered on the market years ago, it’s too risky now.

SHOTS TAKEN FROM THE INTERNET

SHOTS TAKEN FROM THE INTERNET

Here’s one sad story I will share with you. To save embarrassment, I won’t mention their names as they are still my good friends.

The lady of the couple was constantly being told what a good cook she was. I have eaten her cooking many times and she was. An opportunity arose for her to open her own restaurant. She signed a five-year lease at some B-grade shopping centre for a rental cost of $74,000 per annum, plus outgoings. All she got was a shell of a shop. She had to fit it out to her desired requirements by putting in a new kitchen, tables, chairs, etc. The shopping centre gave her three months rent-free. She was happy with that. At least with no rent for three months. She thought that was a good deal to start her new venture.

They borrowed from the bank, $150,000 against their house to start their new business. Without any experience, they sailed out into a storm without life jackets.

The restaurant looked good, food was fantastic, but the customers were few and far between. So, what happened? Well, they closed after 18 months because it was costing them money to stay open. Their weekly income was roughly $3,500: outgoings were $4,000 plus a week. They both worked seven days a week, only to lose $500 per week! A no-brainer here. It’s that easy to lose money.

They never asked, How many plates of food do I have to sell per day to break even? They eventually closed the restaurant and had to settle and buy their way out of the five-year shopping centre lease. That cost them $70,000 and that was a cheap way out.

They sold their house for $390,000. They paid out their remaining $170,000 loan which was owed on their house. They paid off the bank shop loan of $150,000. They paid the shopping centre $70,000 and ended up with $20,000 after selling all their restaurant furnishings and equipment.

They vacated their family home and went into a rental property. To my knowledge, they are still in it today. There are thousands of these stories or similar ones out there.

Tread very carefully Mon Ami. If you really get desperate, try your luck by buying a Lotto ticket.

Do you still want to go into business?

Part 1

Chapter 1

Myanmar to Australia 1963

I vividly remember when I was 10 years old in 1961, my dad, George Andrew Parnell and my mother, Doris Margaret Parnell gathered our family together for a meeting. My dad announced that we were migrating to Australia. In his wisdom he explained, because we were fair in colour, our future standing in business or in the workplace was going to be limited. Burma (now called Myanmar) gained independence from the British in 1949. By 1961, they had had enough of the white man ruling them.

My paternal grandfather was Spanish (Dominic Viagus) and my paternal grandmother was a Pho Karen, a native tribe living between Myanmar and Thailand. My maternal grandfather was French (Leon De Clozet) and my maternal grandmother was British. Dad looked Asian. My siblings and I took after Mum and looked more European.

Because of this logic, my parents applied to migrate to Australia, and they had to borrow all our airfares from a loan shark. This crook charged us a total of $5,000 in return for a $2,000 loan. It took all of three years to get our visas and documents together to migrate to Australia. During these three years, my dad insisted I learn a musical instrument, and I chose drums. Poor dad gave up most of his leisure time to accompany me weekly to my drum lessons, which were conducted by a blind drumming instructor, (ensuring I did not wag the lessons).

I was not happy about the news my parents presented to me at the tender age of 10. I was quite advanced in the knowledge of ‘social activities’ including being able to travel vast distances from home. My friends were usually much older than me and I was sometimes used as a ‘matchmaker’ for them. They trusted me to hand-deliver their love letters to their sweethearts, (for a fee of course).

That was the way matters of the heart were handled in those days in Myanmar. Usually behind their parents’ back (of course). Many a time, this task meant I had to travel far from home and negotiate the rigors of daily hustle and bustle of life, buses, bike rides, to deliver these important, life changing letters. Consequently, I was exposed to many more things than most 10-year-olds in Australia would usually have to wait until they were 18 years or older to experience. Say no more!

After the neighbourhood heard about our decision to migrate, most were disappointed, and some even said, You have a home here, friends, and plenty of food, so why are you leaving?

I agreed with them. Why? I even contemplated being kidnapped by some of my older friends just days before departing Rangoon. In the end I reluctantly went with the family to Australia, instead. I had no choice in the matter. This secret is something I have never made public.

Perth 1963-1967

We arrived at midnight in Perth, in December 1963. There was no one to greet us. My dad was given an address for the Salvation Army in Pier St in Perth. He ordered two taxis to take us there. It was about 3am when we got to Pier Street and the place was in total darkness, so dad refused to wake anyone up. The driver suggested a backpacker hostel close by in William St called Britannia Hostel.

Dad was happy, it was one pound per room per night. We had three rooms for five nights. We then found a house to rent in Balga. I think we had 150 pounds for the whole family to start life in a new country. What a beautiful country.

My 14th birthday was on the 25th of June, so it was still high school for me; not getting a job working as I had hoped. My parents had different ideas for me, but I was a naughty boy. I hardly went to school as expected by my parents. When Dad found out, I got a good old belting. Remember them?

I made friends with the neighbourhood boys and was soon leading the gang. Because I played drums and formed a schoolboy band, I was invited to play at everyone’s birthday party and any other parties that came along. I then joined a band more professional. I was more interested in music than stealing cars and petrol as my friends were doing. We were living in Balga, a rough state housing commission suburb.

Drumming days, Music Australia 1967-1990

When I was 16 years old, I was playing in commercial pop bands professionally. I played drums in a band called ‘Karma’. We travelled around Australia extensively for about 18 years, working six nights a week, without a break. We never had a Christmas Day or a New Year’s Eve off, ever. We were doing what came naturally, playing music and loving it. By the age of 40, I was a fully-fledged music promoter in Sydney Australia.

On reaching my 30th birthday, I started to realise that I needed to earn more money for my future. So, I replaced myself in the band with another drummer. I now became the band’s manager and doubled as the band’s sound engineer, all for the same wage. It was my beginning towards bigger things. I had always handled all the band’s affairs from day one, but never got paid for it.

In those days, we split the money equally between the band members after expenses. Those expenses were the sound system, lights, truck, petrol and roadies. That was my first duty each week on Mondays. I forgot; I was the unpaid accountant too.

During our touring days over the years, we travelled all-around Australia playing music. On the road, I met and made many friends and contacts, with owners and managers of hotels and nightclubs. We regularly had drinks with these guys, usually most nights after the gigs. During these free-drink sessions, I would hear similar cries from all these hoteliers and nightclub owners. They all had similar stories; they wanted more good bands on a regular basis. I saw an opening and a good opportunity there, so I negotiated to act as an agent for some of these guys nationally. Not all, but some agreed.

‘KARMA’ TOURED AUSTRALIA EXTENSIVELY

I tried my luck, and used my knowledge of good bands I’d seen and knew around Australia. I supplied the venues with bands and various other artists. To my luck, it took time to establish, but I slowly got there and it worked. I was now earning extra money on the side.

After a few years of being an agent, most of my bills got paid so I decided to settle down in Sydney. After years of learning how the music industry ticked, I somehow managed to graduate and become a music promoter in Sydney, Australia. Forming my company ‘Parnell Music Promotions’, was a giant step to take, and I took it. A really big risk.

One day I heard that the Maroubra Seals Club, a water sports club in the Eastern Suburbs of Sydney, was having some difficulties in growing their membership base, which in turn was affecting their finance department. Their membership was declining, and business was not looking that good for them. My band Karma was always a big hit when we played at the Maroubra Seals club over the years. I was very well known to them through the Karma band days. It was I who negotiated all the work for the band at that club. As I said, I was the official unpaid manager, even in those days.

I took the courage and approached the Maroubra Seals club management behind the backs of their long-term club agent, Ceema Promotions. Ceema Promotions was run by Marlene Hutchinson and her brother Colin. It was through them that I initially got all our gigs at the Maroubra Seals club.

Even though I felt a little bad doing this, I thought ‘What the hell, nothing to lose’. I was entering the music-promoting world, and that’s what you had to do; take risks and face the consequences when they arose.

One day I arranged a meeting with John McCormack the General Manager, together with his duty manager Peter Reid (Peter is the General Manager now, since 1995). At this meeting, I suggested they look at putting on some very big rock and roll bands at the Maroubra Seals Club. I mentioned to them bands such as the Angels, Mental As Anything, Cold Chisel, INXS, Little River Band, and bands of that calibre.

Their immediate reaction was Wendell, we don’t know anyone who can get us these bands. Can you help? Just the words I needed to hear.

Watch me, I said, I’ll be back next week with good news, I hope.