Finding Life In Between: A Journal for Me...to You

PRAISE FOR FINDING LIFE IN BETWEEN

Finding Life in Between is one of those rare gems, where you find yourself connecting, relating, and feeling as if the book was written just for you. Candy Leigh speaks her truth, and the truth of many women, unapologetically.

—Candy Barone

President & CEO of You Empowered Strong

As an integrative life coach, spiritual mentor, healer, and retreat leader with a passion for helping women to remember who they are—their soul essence—I found Candy Leigh’s book Finding Life in Between so intimately, vulnerably, and profoundly laced with the deep TRUTH of herself. I was drawn into each story. Each personal experience had notes of familiarity. If you read her book, you will find yourself there in some way . . . be it a word, phrase, sentence, paragraph, or chapter, there is a common thread woven within. You can’t deny that we are much more similar than we are different! Candy’s storytelling will touch your heart. If you are a human being living life in today’s world, this book is a must read!

—Peggy Fontenot

Integrative Life Coach & Spiritual Mentor

A raw and honest account about the choices we make, the people we let into our lives, and the consequences of allowing others to define us.

—Valerie Nifora

Award-winning author of I Asked the Wind

Finding Life in Between

A Journal for Me . . . to You

CANDY LEIGH

©2023 by Candy Leigh.

Published by Eight Limbs Press.

Milwaukee, WI

www.EightLimbsPress.com

All rights reserved. This book contains material protected under international and federal copyright laws and treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No portion of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, scanning, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without express prior written permission of the author.

Available in paperback, hardback, e-book, and audiobook.

Identifiers:

LCCN: 2023904343

ISBN: 979-8-218-15881-1 paperback

ISBN: 979-8-218-15882-8 hardback

ISBN: 979-8-218-15883-5 e-book

Cover design: Candy Leigh in partnership with JET Launch

Interior Layout & Formatting: JET Launch

Any scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from open-source and publicly available internet sites.

Any Internet addresses (websites, blogs, etc.) and telephone numbers printed in this book are offered as a resource. They are not intended in any way to be or imply an endorsement by Eight Limbs Press, nor does Eight Limbs Press vouch for the content of these sites and numbers for the life of this book.

Some names and identifying details have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals.

DEDICATION

If this book is in your hands, and you are reading these words,

I dedicate this book to you.

You are seen.

You are enough.

You never have to apologize for how you chose to survive.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Foreword

Preface

THE WINDING ROAD

a. Invitation

b. Semi-Charmed and Sun Kissed

c. Life, Interrupted

d. Red Ribbons

PACKING AND UNPACKING REAL LIFE

a. Roller Derby

b. Jolted

c. Divorce

d. Acute Stress Disorder

e. Self-Care Journaling from the Woods

f. Coco

g. Reentry

AUGUST ADVENTURES

a. Inner Circle

b. August 11

c. Big Dick Energy

d. Caged Birds

e. Hey, Missouri

f. Framily

g. Protect Your Peace

h. Coming Home

i. Chapter Four: Mom

j. Jessica

k. Blind Date

TRAVEL NOTES

a. Gratitude

b. Inner Work to Find Your Dharma

c. Dairy-Free Christmas Cookies

d. Book Club Discussion Starters

e. Afterword: Reminders

f. Acknowledgments

g. Endnotes

About the Author

FOREWORD

We had the privilege of meeting Candy during our Inner Work Yoga Teacher training, where she came with an open heart and a desire to heal and understand herself on a deeper level through the study of traditional authentic yoga. During the year-long training, we watched Candy gracefully and vulnerably expand on her journey of self-discovery which she so beautifully reflects in her book.

In mystic traditions, particularly yoga, stories are woven into the fabric of our understanding of the world and the journey of the soul. Yoga philosophy relies heavily on storytelling, parables, and myth. As human beings, we are inherently drawn to stories as they serve as a means of connection and sharing personal wisdom found to be true through direct experience that we all can relate to.

Throughout Candy’s yoga training, she was exposed to some of India’s most epic classic tales such as The Bhagavad Gita, a story of a confused warrior prince and his journey toward self-realization and enlightenment. One of Arjuna’s core questions throughout the epic is Why me? A relatable question all of us eventually ponder at some point in our lives. Candy, like Arjuna, sat with the eternal question Why me? And through her courage to look inside, she found eternal wisdom.

Finding Life in Between will inspire you to do the same. It will teach you how to do the inner work and how to heal by accepting your own story. In this memoir, Candy’s journey through divorce, physical and emotional trauma, fears of parenting, and the pressures of modern-day womanhood all highlight the importance of reflection and self-discovery. You will laugh, you will cry, but most importantly, you will come to know yourself through the ups and downs of Candy’s life. Through her personal story, she invites readers to shine the light of awareness on the darkness we all hide from, and ultimately to fall in love with our own hero’s journey and personal story of self-realization.

At its core, Finding Life in Between is an invitation to look within and to find the wisdom that is available to us in our own stories. Candy’s courage to share her journey and the lessons she learned along the way will inspire you to do the same. Whether you are navigating the challenges of divorce, facing a career change, or wrestling with the shame of personal trauma, this book is for you. It is a reminder that you are worthy of living a rich life of purpose and fulfillment.

We are honored to know Candy and grateful for the opportunity to share her story with you.

Wishing you true freedom and lasting happiness in the life you are already in,

Mat & Ash

The Yoga Couple

PREFACE

At the time of this book’s first release, we were at the peak of the COVID-19 world health pandemic and all its unknowns. It was also the time of George Floyd’s murder.¹ In my reflection on that time, I, like many others, felt so many mixed emotions. I felt my privilege as a white woman releasing a book written during a solo road trip, where I traveled safely and without fear. I recognized how blessed I was to have good health and, when needed, good medical care. There was so much change and turmoil in the world; friends and family members were losing loved ones to terrible complications from illnesses such as COVID and illnesses such as racism. While I was excited to be accomplishing a goal that had once been a dream, somehow the whole thing seemed anticlimactic. The release date came and went; the online launch party was a success; and then, without much fanfare, it was done.

During the process of birthing this book, I questioned whether to include certain things. I wrestled with the notion of sharing candid, personal inner thoughts and experiences. I was concerned that my writing, taken out of context, may be perceived as trauma dumping. Through this internal struggle, the guiding light and decision filter for what was included became clear. If I believed my truth could help one person, I would include it. This was an opportunity to demonstrate my belief that reclaiming your story is an imperative component to personal healing.

While I was proud of my work, I also experienced some imposter syndrome, which is typical for anyone embarking on a new professional journey. The book started receiving some positive reviews, which felt good; however, I also received some messages from folks that would have preferred me to have kept my thoughts to myself. One of the biggest challenges to my writing came to me in a roundabout way, with a friend reporting from another friend that she thought that what I included was just too personal. When I received that message specifically, I began to second guess myself, my writing, and my belief system. I withdrew into a sense of guilt and self-judgment for choosing to share certain stories. I started to think about unwinding publishing and retreating from my author career, but then I experienced an unexpected turning point. I received a note through my website from a woman whom I had never met:

I just started to read your book…I haven’t gotten very far but I already love it. On your page you offered to have us share our story. I feel drawn to share it with you. When I was 19 an older man found me for a man 17 years my senior for the purposes of sex. When I got with him he then sold me to others. I am a survivor of human trafficking for 10 years. I just got out in July with my son. I’m trying to rebuild and find my inner strength.²

I was shocked. Stunned. And I cried. I cried for this woman and what I imagined she had endured. I cried for those in similar situations. I cried tears of gratitude for having touched her in a way that was helping her reclaim her own story. I cried because it confirmed for me that choosing to be both vulnerable and authentic creates a space for healing.

My book is not about sex trafficking; my story is about finding joy in the journey, no matter the path. Because I had the courage to share my truth, I know that I helped at least one person, and that makes all the challenges to my writing worthwhile. Based on additional messages I received from readers, I know that many others found strength in the sisterhood that comes when we shed our shame and find courage to stand in truth.

When we reflect on the stories of our life journeys, we sometimes rediscover ourselves while finding pieces of ourselves in one another. When we share our stories, we find our commonalities, our differences, and our humanity. As we pause to contemplate the ups and downs of our journeys, we heal, we grow, and we raise the consciousness of our collective. As I learned from the messages shared by my readers, when we reclaim our power and make peace with our stories, we begin to create a family connected across time and distance. When we choose to share our voices and journeys, we all rise, we all heal, and we all learn to love ourselves—and each other—a little more.

As you read these pages, I encourage you to remember your own stories, not just the milestone moments documented by pictures planned and posed, but the moments in between, where the only photos that exist are the ones etched in your heart. Examine your own moments of clarity, of craziness, of wisdom. Reflect on how you have personally navigated those profound liminal spaces in between the peaks and valleys of life. Think about how you’ve survived your journey, what’s really gone on behind the scenes of your social media highlights, and who has been there to celebrate and commiserate with you along the way. Get real with yourself about life’s biggest triumphs and life’s biggest traumas. Remember to give yourself (and those around you) some grace, because sometimes in life, we are so deep in survival mode that we don’t even realize we’re experiencing something traumatic. Take this time to build your resilience because the muscle of resilience is what we need to flex when, inevitably, we encounter uncertain times and we must pivot, and pivot, and maybe pivot again.

Life’s journey can never be fully orchestrated, and it ought never be taken for granted. The beauty of life is that it organically happens in between the planned (and once-taken-for-granted) milestones, when nothing is certain, and everything is possible.

This book has been a part of my healing; perhaps it will be a part of yours. To aid in that process, an inner work process and reflection prompts are included at the end of this book. There is also a page of powerful reminders that you can tear out and carry with you to remind you to stand in your power. If you’d prefer to have the printable versions of this content, please visit my website at www.CandyLeigh.com and sign up for my email list. You will receive a welcome bundle of free content that will include this material and more.

As you dive into these pages, I hope you are inspired to savor the authentic moments of real life that make up the entirety of your personal journey. I hope you choose to stand in the power of your own authentic vulnerability and truth, and I hope you choose to celebrate Finding Life in Between.

CONTENT WARNING: Topics explored in this book may be unsettling for some. All are encouraged to read only if it is the right time and right choice for that individual. Such topics include mental health, depression, loss, death of a pet, abuse, assault, theft, language, racism, and divorce. Topics also include love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control, hope, healing, personal growth, inspiration, redemption, resilience, gratitude, and love.

A Goddess is a woman who emerges from deep within herself.

She is a woman who has honestly explored her darkness and learned

to celebrate her light. She is a woman who is able to fall in love with the magnificent possibilities within her. She is a woman who knows of the magic and mysterious places inside her, the sacred places that can nurture her soul and make her whole. She is a woman who radiates light.

She is magnetic.

—Unknown

THE WINDING ROAD

Sometimes you turn around to look at your life only to realize that your journey is your destination.

—Candy Leigh

INVITATION

Dear Sister,

I began this journey by looking outward. I decided to combine the magic of the things I love—adventuring, traveling, connecting with people, and writing—to tell stories of the human experience. From the beginning, I committed to falling in love with this process, this art, this exploration of the unknown, even if it exhausted and confounded me. My goal was to dive into the spirit of human relationships and tell the tales of our connectedness, of our similarities and our differences. I was going to call my book Unwritten . . . Previously Untold Stories Collected on the Open Road. I romanticized the idea. I was excited. I was optimistic. It felt safe to write the stories of others. I didn’t know exactly how it would come together, but I could feel in my soul that it was the right journey at the right time.

Well, the right journey at the right time actually became an unexpected voyage of intense self-reflection. Rather than examining others, I was repeatedly nudged to look inward, to review the path of my own existence. The magic of traveling to unknown places along with the voices of my spirit guides and the light of the moon, led me to hear stories that opened me up to my own vulnerability. As the safety of looking outward dissipated, I was left with the fear of confronting my own experiences and beliefs. The magic that moved me led me to breathe life into words that came from my heart, through my fingers, and onto paper—the words that now fill the pages of this book. What I didn’t realize was that these chapters would be my own catharsis and my own cleansing. My sister, I wanted to write for you about the stories of others, but it turned out that I needed my words for me first.

I set out to write about the spirit of human