Golf Is More Than Your Score

Copyright © 2014 by Jerry Moore.

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Rev. date: 11/21/2014

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Contents

Thank You from the Author

Introduction

Are You a Golfaholic Like Me?

Be Prepared Like a Boy Scout

Ignorance Is Bliss When It Involves the Rules

Just Plain Ol’ Cheaters

Make Sure You’re Happy Where You Golf

Country Club Advantages

You Can’t Buy a Golf Swing

Walk Like a Man

Gamesmanship

Tic-Tac-Toe, Three Eagles in a Row

Golf Etiquette

Your Golf Staff

Your Golf Behavior Can Tarnish Your Image

Golf Is Anything but Boring

Games People Play

Protect Your Turf

Golf Is for Both the Young and Old

About the Author

About the Cover

Thank You from the Author

I want to thank my wife, Kathy, for being so understanding regarding my golf addiction. Even though I usually play several times a week and spend a considerable amount of money on golf, she never questions it.

Former HPS Office Systems president Leon Mordoh deserves kudos for teaching me how to use golf as an incentive. Thanks to Leon, I learned how to reward myself with nine holes of golf after the workday if I manage to make 30 or more sales calls during that particular day.

I most likely would not have gone to college and majored in journalism if it wasn’t for my high school English teacher, Andy Galbraith. Thank you so much for encouraging me to do so, Mr. Galbraith.

I would be remiss if I didn’t thank three of my high school buddies. Steve Pavey and Steve Phillips introduced me to golf in 1978 and then patiently put up with me as I learned the game. Will Watts helped me get through college by moving next door to me midway through our freshman year at Indiana University. I was ready to quit college, but Will made it fun by including me in activities such as basketball, softball and euchre. He now is my dentist and does an outstanding job of taking care of my family and me.

As I mentioned in the book, I also have two other golf buddies who are my doctors. Steve Kinsey is my family’s medical doctor and does a great job of keeping us healthy. Long-hitter Bob Woodruff, on the other hand, is my optometrist and I have been very pleased with how thorough he is during examinations. Thank you both!

Former Indiana University football coach Lee Corso mentored me when I covered IU football for the Indiana Daily Student. I want to thank Coach Corso for being so good to me and helping me develop as a sportswriter.

Many thanks go to Columbus Container owner Bob Haddad for purchasing Harrison Lake Country Club in 2005 so the club can continue to have its championship golf course and other wonderful amenities. Had it not been for Mr. Haddad, HLCC most likely would be either a housing development or a public course by now.

Thanks also to PGA professionals Steve Cohen and Jeff Smith. As I mentioned in this book, Steve converted me from a hacker to a decent golfer in a short time through a series of lessons in 1979. Jeff, on the other hand, has mentored me in both golf and my personal life.

There wouldn’t be a D4 group if it wasn’t for Mickey Kim and I want to thank him for organizing it. Every golf course needs a group like the D4s because its members make the game fun.

I also want to recognize the Ron Albert Group for accepting me when I joined Otter Creek Golf Course in August, 2013. If it wasn’t for Ron and the members of his group, I would be struggling to find a game on Saturdays and holidays.

Last, but not least, I want to thank Mark Montieth for endorsing this book. Mark and I were on the IU student newspaper sports staff together and I have a great deal of respect for him. Mark’s One-on-One weekly radio show certainly is the fastest hour in radio as he markets it.

Introduction

When you saw the title Golf Is More Than Your Score, what thoughts came to mind? Were you expecting to read a book written by a snob or did you think it was going to take the same approach used at many children’s athletic events when every participant receives a trophy?

Personally, I have numerous reasons for the name of the book. Among them is a golfer can post a terrible score, yet have an enjoyable day if he is with the right people. Unlike many sports that involve running and/or physical contact, golf gives its participants the opportunity to fellowship while playing it. After all, the only time it is in poor taste for a golfer to talk is when a member of his group is standing over the ball.

There also is another side to it. A golfer can set a course record with an incredible score, but it is virtually meaningless to purists like me if he cheats, exhibits poor etiquette, abuses the course or uses relentless gamesmanship against his opponents.

I originally intended to name the book Anal Golf, but I changed my mind after discovering it will bring up pornographic websites if you Google it. That still doesn’t prevent me from being an anal golfer, however. According to the dictionary, there is a stage in a child’s development where he or she is focused on the anal area of the body. Unfortunately, some individuals never seem to totally progress beyond the anal stage and they wind up becoming obsessed with neatness, accuracy, compulsiveness and stubbornness in certain aspects of their lives as adults.

I haven’t been to a psychiatrist, but many people (including myself) consider me to be anal when it comes to two areas of my life: writing and golf. While reading an article in a newspaper or magazine, for example, I expect it to be accurate plus have flawless spelling and grammar. In other words, I subconsciously edit the article while reading it. When I find errors, they drive me nuts.

Unsurprisingly, I am the same way on the golf course. If lazy and inconsiderate golfers neglect to fix their divots, repair their ball marks or rake their footprints in the bunkers, I become aggravated with them. I also become agitated when golfers have poor etiquette such as the way they dress and how they conduct themselves on the course. If men can open a door for women, lower the toilet seat when they’re finished using the bathroom and chew with their mouths closed, they can practice good etiquette on the golf course.

When it comes to the golf course, I expect it to be immaculate. I won’t hesitate to complain to the pro shop when the staff members over water or under water the course, have inconsistent bunkers and greens or fail to properly lay sod.

Does it sound like all I do is complain about poorly-written articles, inconsiderate golfers and badly-maintained golf courses? If so, I apologize for misleading you. I think you will discover I have resorted to a combination of satire, sarcasm and humor in this book. Its purpose is to both educate you and make you laugh.

How does a 17-handicapper, who has been a full-time salesperson since 1986, fulfill his dream of writing the second golf book of his career? If you can figure it out, please let me know.

Athletes seem to share a common theory about sportswriters. They believe all sportswriters are frustrated athletes. I can’t really call myself an athlete, but I will be the first to admit I can become a frustrated golfer at times.

I can only hit the ball about 230 yards off the tee, many of my iron shots range from shanks to worm burners, I putt like the proverbial gorilla and sometimes I’m just happy to get my chip shot onto the green without double-hitting it. As a result, I have a love-hate relationship with golf.

Like many of you, I often wonder why I’m a middle handicapper. How can a 61-year-old man, who plays over 200 holes a month during the golf season, not improve? How can a guy, who uses the driving range regularly and the practice green about once a month, not get any better? How can a guy, who didn’t take up the game until he was through college and married, not have a picturesque swing?

After all, I’ve done all of the right things. I’ve had tons of lessons from various pros with different theories, researched and applied all of the golf tips I can find, revised my swing more times than Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones has changed coaches and ordered virtually every golf gimmick known to man.

Insanity is described as doing the same thing over and over and achieving the same unwanted results. At least I’m not insane. I use different methods to attain the same unacceptable results.

If I’m such a poor golfer, what qualifies me to write this new book? Let me ask you a rhetorical question: how often do you read a golf column written by a tour player or teaching pro and either lose interest or fall asleep halfway through it? Just like the best players seldom make the best coaches, I also think the best golfers rarely become the best golf authors because they can’t relate to the average golfer.

My book isn’t a technical how-to guide. It is informative, but hopefully you will find it to be comical and have interesting anecdotes. And believe me when I tell you I have seen it all in my 37 years of torture on the golf course. I would hate to think how often I have told fellow golfers I could write a book about all of the crazy incidents I have witnessed on golf courses—and now I literally have done it!

In my previous life, I was a sports editor for a small daily newspaper in central Indiana after graduating from Indiana University in 1976 with a degree in journalism. Because a sports editor of a small daily newspaper normally has very little to do on summer afternoons, I took up the game of golf. Now, I continue to play golf, but I have been in sales instead of sports writing during most of my career.

My decision to depart from the newspaper industry was both a business and personal decision. Sports editors of small town newspapers are paid considerably less than school teachers despite putting in the hours of two teachers. As for the personal reason, I wanted to remain betrothed to my high school sweetheart. We now have been married for over 38 years, but it was going to become a quick divorce if I continued to live, eat, sleep and cover sports seven days a week.

Am I writing golf books because I want an excuse to end my marriage? Just like some men run around on their wives, I’m writing around on mine. When I retire to my in-house office, she assumes I’m working on a sales quotation. I guess this book will just be our little secret because she never reads books about sports.

As I mentioned earlier, I didn’t pick up a golf club until 1977. I was 24 years old at that time and just played occasionally at Arrowhead Golf Course in Greenfield, Indiana. The first time I actually played 18 holes, I probably shot 140 and broke every rule possible because I was ignorant about the game at that time. When I went home after the introductory round, I told my wife, Kathy, I hated golf and didn’t want to ever play again. Her response was Why don’t you give it another chance? I obviously heeded her advice for once and eventually began to like the game more and more.

Kathy, and I moved back to Columbus at the end of 1977 and I began playing Greenbelt (the local nine-hole city course) regularly in 1978. Even though I still was a novice golfer, I entered my first city tournament that summer and got trounced in the match play format by my first opponent of the single elimination event. I still remember him making some derogatory comments to me at the end of the match and they motivated me to work even harder at my game.

In June of 1979, I lost my job as media specialist at a local not-for-profit agency due to a lack of funds. Since I already had paid for my season pass at Greenbelt, I played religiously in between job interviews that summer. I also had paid for a series of lessons from Greenbelt pro Steve Cohen prior to losing my job, so I took advantage of the situation. He changed my grip from strong (hands too far right on the grip) to a more neutral position. That subdued my severe hook and provided more loft on my shots. He also taught me how to take my belt toward the target on my follow through so I would have a proper weight transfer and not come over the top of the ball. Another fundamental Cohen taught me was to use a weak stance on chipping and put my hands out in front of the club head so the ball would be airborne one-third of the way and roll the rest of the way on the greens.

In addition to taking golf lessons, playing golf regularly and interviewing for jobs that summer, I was running between three and six miles a day plus lifting weights and doing pushups on a regular basis. The combination of lessons, conditioning and practice apparently paid off because I won the last flight of the city tournament that summer. It was a match play format once again and I not only beat my opponents, I crushed them. One match was over after the 10th hole and my final opponent was eliminated by the 12th hole of our match

When Cohen presented the awards after the event, he emphasized how I had shot in the 70s and low 80s during my matches. He also indicated to me that I probably would have won the third and fourth flights that summer.

In the winter of 1979, I decided to play basketball again with my buddies in the Columbus, Indiana adult city league. Kathy had a premonition I would get injured and tried to dissuade me from playing, but I assured her it would be my final year. After all, we had a talented group of players and my objective was to win the city championship at least once. I was 26 years old, still enjoying athletics as an adult and thought I was invincible.

In addition to winning my flight in the city tournament a few months earlier, I had been one of the top performers in the annual Fall Running Festival’s 5k race and played in two softball leagues. Even though I was excited about the upcoming golf season, my primary focus that winter was basketball. I really wanted to go out a winner in my final season.

During a game in the middle of January, our basketball team still was unbeaten and we held a seemingly insurmountable lead over a mediocre opponent with a couple of minutes remaining in the second quarter. As a scrappy six-footer who knew how to take the ball to the basket, I had more points by myself than our opponents did as a team. Maybe that’s why they decided to alter my life.

After the other team suspiciously called time out, two of our opponents began double teaming me the next time we had the ball. I accepted the challenge by driving to the top of the key, giving them a shot fake to get them off their feet and intentionally drawing contact while in the air. Once I heard the referee’s whistle blow, I flung the basketball toward the rim in hopes of getting an old fashioned three-point play.

Unfortunately, my defenders wanted to do more than send me to the free throw line. They continued to foul me after the shot and violently forced me to the floor. The impact wound up sending me to the emergency room with a sprained left ankle, a hematoma of the right thigh and a severely injured right knee. My ankle and thigh recovered in a couple of weeks, but not my knee.

Had the knee injury occurred in the 21st century, surgeons probably could have repaired it and my life would have returned to normal in a matter of months. That wasn’t the case in 1980, however. My family doctor said I would have to endure an immobile and painful knee the rest of my life. In other words, running distance and playing basketball no longer were options for me.

At least I had golf—or I thought I had golf. When spring rolled around, it was difficult to walk 18 holes and even tougher to score well. My 18-hole scores ballooned to three digits once again because I was unable to hit the ball with authority and consistency. I still enjoyed the fellowship with my golf buddies, but golf itself no longer was fun for me. My refuge from life’s pressures was bordering on becoming non-existent.

One day, a golf buddy, who had overcome knee injuries from college basketball, suggested I see his surgeon in Indianapolis, Indiana. I heeded his advice and scheduled an appointment with the surgeon, who also administered to Indiana Pacers’ players with knee injuries. The surgeon measured both of my quadriceps and noticed my right one had atrophied to the point it was two inches smaller in circumference than my left one. In an attempt to remedy the situation, he provided me with a regimen of exercises and scheduled a follow-up appointment for a month later.

I religiously performed the exercises and my right knee seemed to be getting better. When the surgeon examined me a month later and measured my quadriceps again, he proudly announced that my atrophied thigh had increased two inches in circumference. He then added that even surgery would not provide additional improvement for my knee. In other words, my right knee would never be totally healthy again.

More than 34 years later, I still have the problem knee that prevents me from turning on the ball while executing my golf swing. I have learned how to compensate for it, however, by lifting weights, and remaining in good physical condition. I also maintain good hand, wrist and forearm strength by squeezing grippers.

My index is a 14.1 and I am a decent golfer. However, my golf bag contains more woods and hybrids than it does irons because I am such a short hitter. At least I still walk most rounds and thoroughly enjoy the game.

Since originally injuring my knee in 1979, I have accomplished the following in golf:

• Won the First Flight in the Golf Club of Brown County 1992 Club Championship

• Teamed up with a friend to win the D4 Tournament in 2005

• Partnered with another friend to win the Harrison Lake Country Club Member/Member championship in 2006

• Shot a 78 at Harrison Lake on my 55th birthday in 2008

• Eagled the same par-5 hole at Otter Creek three consecutive times in 2009

• Teamed up with another friend to win the D4 Tournament in 2010

• Won my flight in the Harrison Lake Club Championship in 2012 after shooting a 37-43 for an 80 in the final round

• Teamed up with three buddies to win the D4 Tournament in 2012

• Teamed up with a buddy to win the 2013 D4 Fourth of July Tournament

• Written weekly golf columns for The Tribune (Seymour, Indiana newspaper)

• Written weekly golf columns for The Republic (Columbus, Indiana newspaper)

• Authored and published Gauntlet Golf in 2006 (221-page fiction novel)

I try to play golf any weekend or holiday possible if the temperature is at least 38 degrees and it is not storming or overly windy. During the golf season, I attempt to play nine holes two evenings a week and 18 holes every Saturday. I also continue to work out at the gym during the off-season to keep myself in good physical condition for golf. My workout regimen usually includes 30 minutes on an elliptical device plus upper body exercises such as weight lifting, pull-ups, dips and chin-ups. I also walk our golden retriever approximately a mile whenever possible and I mow our spacious lawn on foot.

Despite exercising regularly, I also watch my diet. French fries, pizza, ice cream, etc. usually are taboo for me. Besides eating a cup of yogurt daily, I also consume two squares of dark chocolate for health purposes and probably drink about a gallon of water each