Not Without Your Love

By the same author

The ‘Messed Up!’ trilogy

Messed Up! But All for Love

Lost in Love

All You Need is Love

Arvind PArAshAr

Srishti Publishers & Distributors

A unit of AJR Publishing LLP

212A, Peacock Lane

Shahpur Jat, New Delhi – 110 049

[email protected]

First published by

Srishti Publishers & Distributors in 2021

Copyright © Arvind Parashar, 2021

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

This is a work of fiction. The characters, places, organisations and events described in this book are either a work of the author’s imagination or have been used fictitiously. Any resemblance to people, living or dead, places, events, communities or organisations is purely coincidental.

The author asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the Publishers.

Printed and bound in India

Dedicated to my mom and dad.

And also to all my close friends, readers and everyone

who has loved me dearly.

Acknowledgment

I would like to extend my deepest gratitude to all the constants in my life. They have made this work a piece of art. After all, what is literature if not a piece of art indeed!

I also thank my publisher and his team of editors, designers and all others for their cooperation.

This thanks will be incomplete if I don't mention the million social media followers who have always supported me and been there for me.

Prologue

'Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.'

- William Shakespeare

10 July 1980

Noosh woke up shocked in the middle of the night. Bombay was always moving, even in the night, so the traffic horns and noises could easily disturb anyone. Noosh was a light sleeper. She could not ignore the noise in the last seventy-five days. She felt it even more without her soulmate. She always feared it. She stared at the calendar as the dim night lamp created some vision.

"Seventy-six days without you, Kabir. I miss you every single moment. God, I cannot live a day more without my love. Please take me wherever he is, heaven or earth. I will be happy with him;' she said and folded her hands in prayer. Her eyes were brimming with tears which mirrored her deep agony.

While she was engrossed in thoughts, she felt a kick in her womb. "Oh gosh! I cannot even die. I cannot, for my child's sake. I have to live;' she murmured and slipped back into the blanket, trying to fall back to sleep.

1

The beautiful city of Kabul

17 May 1977

The orange trees were lined in the orchard, lime and grapefruit trees in between, giving it a pattern panorama. Kabir seemed to be perfectly awed by the vast expanse and beautiful landscape.

"Noosh, now I know what makes your homeland so desirous;' he murmured.

He crossed the junction of Kunar and Kabul river before finally reaching the town. Nobody would want to be alone in such magnificence. His mind was filled with amorous thoughts. He even thought of splashing water from the river on Noosh's face. How would she have reacted? Would she have blushed? Or would she have just brushed the water off her face, pretending to ignore? He could only wonder.

Even though she was absent, he could feel her. It was his love for the lady that had pulled him to Afghanistan . For now, he was in Jalalabad, but it was an extensive trip. He would cover Kabul before reaching Herat in a few days, Noosh's native town. His relocation to Afghanistan came at a cost which could not bequantified. For him, it was more of a deal which was struck when he and his doting Russian professor found a convincing ground for each other.



He jumped with joy out of the slow moving truck and screamed in the air, "Thank you professor."

Walking past the narrow lanes, he departed into the evening dust, folding up his sleeves. He unhurriedly walked into the pack of hundred odd traders, who were busy striking chords with potential buyers. The first thing on his mind was to find if he could get the replacement of his Nikon FE lens that had broken a day ago. He failed to find any spare one. In the effort, he spotted a telephone booth. He tried dialling Noosh’s work number in Herat, but there was no response. At the end, he decided that he would surprise her by meeting in person.

Way back in engineering college after Noosh had finished her studies, she came to Afghanistan, her homeland. When Kabir had proposed to her, she wanted him to talk to his father. According to her values, it was not allowed to be in a relationship with a man unless committed. Kabir liked that about her and promised to come to Herat and ask her father for her hand once he finished his studies.



Kabir hummed his favourite songs before arriving in his hotel room. After a week on the road, the rest seemed more deserving. His legs were curled up and despite the noise of the compressor fitted inside the general air-conditioning system that was barely two feet away, he was still able to sink into a sound slumber.

Within twenty minutes, the doorbell rang. There was no reaction. It rang again. Kabir reticently woke up and looked at the time. It was 9:40 p.m. There were two stewards from room service who stood smiling and greeting him. They could immediately grasp Kabir’s predictive reaction, so one of them pulled out a line instantly, "Saab, sorry we woke you from your sleep. Here is your food and hope we can join you in your travel."

Kabir did not show any reaction. The stewards left the room carrying little hope. They wanted something from him.

2

The Afghan Frontiers

The next morning seemed to foretell an action-packed day ahead. Curtains were drawn, the room still appeared dark, and the clock kept on the mahogany wooden side table showed 7:35 a.m. (Afghan time).

As Kabir peeped outside, he could see a few turbaned men gathered for a morning huddle, planning the day that lay ahead. The sun was bright and Kabir was late, but he wasn't noticed by anyone in town, except for the staff, or so he thought. 'Whoops, I forgot to turn the TV off. I love this lady anchor from the Canada broadcasting corporation; Kabir thought to himself, stepping out of the room for breakfast.

The breakfast lobby had a few people. A couple of them broke into somewhat of a revelry the moment Kabir alighted the stairs. He wasn't a bit surprised, or was he? He thought of going ahead with the pretentious air.

"Hey Kabir, hope you had a good sleep and are ready to take on from here;' said Jemima, one of the two journalists.

Kabir's expressions shifted rapidly and before Jemima could catch it, he was shaking hands with the mini crew of The Daily Times. Jemima and Nikita had arrived late last night to join Kabir for the assignment. They had spent a good time together last year during one of the exchange programmes.

Niks, grab your coffee, pronto, and pick up your assignment from Jemima. This is a perfect day for us. Let’s get the stuff, said Kabir.

Did I just get demoted? Nikita chided.

Jemima asked me to take on from here, so I thought she will hand over my promotion soon, Kabir said with a smile. I know guys, this is my first job, but I can assure you I have done this during my internship in the USSR.

Kabir continued to share his experiences in the Soviet Union during his days there. He and the ladies revived the old rapport, from the moment they met again.

Nikita was a Brit, born and raised in London. She hailed from an affluent family but never wanted to become an heir to the throne. Her parents knew she was meant for tougher terrains, and hence let her decide her course in life. To move a few thousand miles away to the most extraordinary, mountainous country in Central Asia was a phenomenon one got to live once in a lifetime. Today, Nikita was living an adventurous life. Now, that was her profession. Her happiness was not driven by the locale fact alone; it was also derived from the interactions she had with the people she was associated with.

The entire crew had one thing in common – passion. They could go to any extent to build their dreams. That charm of living life under those billion stars covering the stretches, terrains, mountain ranges, big bulky pomegranate trees and the umbrella palms that dotted the roadside was inexplicable.

To be a travel journalist here brings us a lot closer to a different universe that would have been a far-fetched wish for us. I am glad we are here. The world must know what this land offers. And now, it will – through our special edition, Jemima said, lost in her imaginative world.

Jemima was the senior-most in the crew and highly experienced in terms of years in the industry. She was warm and intensely emotional, but wore a tough exterior. She had grown up in a cosmopolitan environment; her father was Polish and mother Italian. She was born and brought up in New York, and finished her higher studies in London.

Jemima and Nikita had studied in the same college in London, before Nikita went to Queen Mary’s College for Master’s in Journalism. Nikita was fondly called Niks by her classmates, and that had continued till date.

"Salaam, Kabir saab, two voices in one tone hurled out of nowhere. Can we join you?"

Kabir, this was supposed to be a dead bolted secret. You spilt it, didn’t you? asked Nikita.

Oh, come on! Are we some undercover investigative crew? Still, I did not tell them anything. They just know me as a guest in the hotel.

Salem had already spoken with the hotel manager. He was convinced that Kabir would be able to influence his boss, in case it was needed. The discussion with the manager was also not very rough. After some persuasion, they were granted a month’s leave and were paid for the days they had worked at the hotel. The only condition was that they needed to return after a month. In lieu, their IDs and documents were kept in the manager’s custody.

After meeting Kabir, they were happy to see an Indian and felt that he had a soft corner for them. They were not enjoying their jobs. This was their time and hence they made all the efforts to not let the opportunity go waste.

We want to hold your tripods, serve you nice meals, and can also offer you some foot reflexology, just in case you need it.

This got Jemima thinking. Never in the past had she invited anyone for special services. This seemed like a treat. She immediately got back to Kabir, What are you waiting for? They are hired.

Their recruitment was not part of the budget. It was Jemima who got compassionate and offered to pay them from her pocket and keep them for personal reasons without officially declaring anything.



As the 60’s Toyota throttled, a few little kids chased it to say goodbye.

I am super excited as we embark upon this terrain. I want to capture it all. I want to experience it fully, said an overjoyed Nikita. They were singing in chorus.

It is the will, it is all in May

It is the Daily Crew, all the way

And we are the sultans of swing

And all we do is sing sing sing…

Thank goodness, Mr Dire Straits isn’t around, Kabir said.

Kabir, what happened to your lens? Is it broken? Nikita observed.

No no, it is not. It is just pretending to be broken.

Oh, that is bad news. This is not your first time experience, so you can still fix it and take photographs, can’t you? asked Jemima, as she held the steering.

Salem immediately pulled out the spare camera lens. There was complete silence. Brakes could be heard loud, like a roar. Everybody was down and nervous.

Guys, how did you know about my camera lens? Who got these? How did you manage these? Where did you get these from? A fountain of questions along with similar surprising expressions had the crew in a limbo.

Jemima kept staring from a distance at these two. I told you we can’t trust them. They have been spying on you. And now, us too. They might take our skulls back and hang them for a show. Do you guys also carry guns or daggers or anything that is like a weapon?

While Salem nervously explained how Sheikh gave it to him as he had heard about broken lens, Kabir only wondered why the owner did not mention this to him when he had met him in the morning.

This crew had been handpicked for the assignment on Central Asia, and Afghanistan was the focus. ‘The Afghan Frontiers’ was their dream in the making and they needed to explore this part of the erstwhile Great Khorasan. Nobody had ever been able to conquer the Khorasan. There was a lot to discover, and so much to see. It took Kabir some days to help Nikita pronounce ‘Afghan’ correctly. It would take him a few more days now to help her pronounce Khorasan.

This was the point when Nikita became inquisitive and wondered why Kabir had joined them for this assignment. Kabir unabashedly told them that he was here for Noosh, his beloved.

When Kabir saw them talking amongst themselves, he quipped, Hold on, guys! I want you to meet her in the coming days. You would know it all in time. She is beyond words. Only my heaven knows how I have spent these last two years without seeing Noosh.

As he said those words, his mind went back to the first time he had met Noosh. The charming episode of how his love story started.

3

How Kabir met Noosh

Mosocw, 1971

It may not be like love at first sight, but they were a pair made in heaven. Their souls were deeply connected.

When Kabir saw Noosh for the first time, it was during the library break in the middle of the books, in the first year of engineering. He vividly remembered her magnificent face. While, she was studying from her book, he was studying her beautiful features. He was drawn to her innocence and charm. Strangely, Noosh was oblivious to his presence.

Kabir began to observe her. He ensured that Noosh did not get an iota of doubt that she was being adorned by someone. He held his patience and then after a few weeks, he got a little closer to his future soul mate.

Another few days had passed when Noosh finally acknowledged his presence. It was the first time in the last eight weeks that she had looked at Kabir. He was awestruck by her gaze. The man just did not know how to react and respond.

He wanted to pull a smile, but consciousness took over it and he dropped all the books he held. This is when Noosh looked down and started a conversation. The books that Kabir dropped caught her attention.

You seem to be a lot into poetry, aren’t you? asked Noosh.

Kabir swooned over as she spoke. Her voice kept echoing inside his head. He was in love.

When he figured that Noosh was a Persian girl from Afghanistan, he spoke and recited poetry in Urdu and Pashto. This was the melting point for Noosh. She did not expect him to be so well versed with those languages. Everything that happened from that moment, changed their lives.

For the time they had spent together and the memories created, they became inseparable. The two yearning souls