The Adventures Of Tom Sawyer

THE ADVENTURES OF TOM SAWYER

MARK TWAIN

CHAPTER I

TOM!

No answer.

TOM!

No answer.

What’s gone with that boy,  I wonder? You TOM!

No answer.

The old lady pulled her spectacles down and looked over them about the

room; then she put them up and looked out under them. She seldom or

never looked _through_ them for so small a thing as a boy; they were

her state pair, the pride of her heart, and were built for style, not

service--she could have seen through a pair of stove-lids just as well.

She looked perplexed for a moment, and then said, not fiercely, but

still loud enough for the furniture to hear:

Well, I lay if I get hold of you I’ll--

She did not finish, for by this time she was bending down and punching

under the bed with the broom, and so she needed breath to punctuate the

punches with. She resurrected nothing but the cat.

I never did see the beat of that boy!

She went to the open door and stood in it and looked out among the

tomato vines and jimpson weeds that constituted the garden. No Tom. So

she lifted up her voice at an angle calculated for distance and shouted:

Y-o-u-u TOM!

There was a slight noise behind her and she turned just in time to seize

a small boy by the slack of his roundabout and arrest his flight.

"There! I might ‘a’ thought of that closet. What you been doing in

there?"

Nothing.

"Nothing! Look at your hands. And look at your mouth. What _is_ that

truck?"

I don’t know, aunt.

"Well, I know. It’s jam--that’s what it is. Forty times I’ve said if you

didn’t let that jam alone I’d skin you. Hand me that switch."

The switch hovered in the air--the peril was desperate--

My! Look behind you, aunt!

The old lady whirled round, and snatched her skirts out of danger.

The lad fled on the instant, scrambled up the high board-fence, and

disappeared over it.

His aunt Polly stood surprised a moment, and then broke into a gentle

laugh.

"Hang the boy, can’t I never learn anything? Ain’t he played me tricks

enough like that for me to be looking out for him by this time? But old

fools is the biggest fools there is. Can’t learn an old dog new tricks,

as the saying is. But my goodness, he never plays them alike, two days,

and how is a body to know what’s coming? He ‘pears to know just how long

he can torment me before I get my dander up, and he knows if he can make

out to put me off for a minute or make me laugh, it’s all down again and

I can’t hit him a lick. I ain’t doing my duty by that boy, and that’s

the Lord’s truth, goodness knows. Spare the rod and spile the child,

as the Good Book says. I’m a laying up sin and suffering for us both,

I know. He’s full of the Old Scratch, but laws-a-me! he’s my own

dead sister’s boy, poor thing, and I ain’t got the heart to lash him,

somehow. Every time I let him off, my conscience does hurt me so, and

every time I hit him my old heart most breaks. Well-a-well, man that is

born of woman is of few days and full of trouble, as the Scripture

says, and I reckon it’s so. He’ll play hookey this evening, * and [*

Southwestern for afternoon] I’ll just be obleeged to make him work,

tomorrow, to punish him. It’s mighty hard to make him work Saturdays,

when all the boys is having holiday, but he hates work more than he

hates anything else, and I’ve _got_ to do some of my duty by him, or

I’ll be the ruination of the child."

Tom did play hookey, and he had a very good time. He got back home

barely in season to help Jim, the small colored boy, saw next-day’s wood

and split the kindlings before supper--at least he was there in time

to tell his adventures to Jim while Jim did three-fourths of the work.

Tom’s younger brother (or rather half-brother) Sid was already through

with his part of the work (picking up chips), for he was a quiet boy,

and had no adventurous, trouble-some ways.

While Tom was eating his supper, and stealing sugar as opportunity

offered, Aunt Polly asked him questions that were full of guile, and

very deep--for she wanted to trap him into damaging revealments. Like

many other simple-hearted souls, it was her pet vanity to believe she

was endowed with a talent for dark and mysterious diplomacy, and she

loved to contemplate her most transparent devices as marvels of low

cunning. Said she:

Tom, it was middling warm in school, warn’t it?

Yes’m.

Powerful warm, warn’t it?

Yes’m.

Didn’t you want to go in a-swimming, Tom?

A bit of a scare shot through Tom--a touch of uncomfortable suspicion. He

searched Aunt Polly’s face, but it told him nothing. So he said:

No’m--well, not very much.

The old lady reached out her hand and felt Tom’s shirt, and said:

But you ain’t too warm now, though. And it flattered her to reflect

that she had discovered that the shirt was dry without anybody knowing

that that was what she had in her mind. But in spite of her, Tom knew

where the wind lay, now. So he forestalled what might be the next move:

Some of us pumped on our heads--mine’s damp yet. See?

Aunt Polly was vexed to think she had overlooked that bit of

circumstantial evidence, and missed a trick. Then she had a new

inspiration:

"Tom, you didn’t have to undo your shirt collar where I sewed it, to

pump on your head, did you? Unbutton your jacket!"

The trouble vanished out of Tom’s face. He opened his jacket. His shirt

collar was securely sewed.

"Bother! Well, go ‘long with you. I’d made sure you’d played hookey

and been a-swimming. But I forgive ye, Tom. I reckon you’re a kind of a

singed cat, as the saying is--better’n you look. _This_ time."

She was half sorry her sagacity had miscarried, and half glad that Tom

had stumbled into obedient conduct for once.

But Sidney said:

"Well, now, if I didn’t think you sewed his collar with white thread,

but it’s black."

Why, I did sew it with white! Tom!

But Tom did not wait for the rest. As he went out at the door he said:

Siddy, I’ll lick you for that.

In a safe place Tom examined two large needles which were thrust into

the lapels of his jacket, and had thread bound about them--one needle

carried white thread and the other black. He said:

"She’d never noticed if it hadn’t been for Sid. Confound it! sometimes

she sews it with white, and sometimes she sews it with black. I wish to

gee-miny she’d stick to one or t’other--I can’t keep the run of ‘em. But

I bet you I’ll lam Sid for that. I’ll learn him!"

He was not the Model Boy of the village. He knew the model boy very well

though--and loathed him.

Within two minutes, or even less, he had forgotten all his troubles. Not

because his troubles were one whit less heavy and bitter to him than a

man’s are to a man, but because a new and powerful interest bore

them down and drove them out of his mind for the time--just as men’s

misfortunes are forgotten in the excitement of new enterprises. This new

interest was a valued novelty in whistling, which he had just acquired

from a negro, and he was suffering to practise it un-disturbed. It

consisted in a peculiar bird-like turn, a sort of liquid warble,

produced by touching the tongue to the roof of the mouth at short

intervals in the midst of the music--the reader probably remembers how to

do it, if he has ever been a boy. Diligence and attention soon gave him

the knack of it, and he strode down the street with his mouth full of

harmony and his soul full of gratitude. He felt much as an astronomer

feels who has discovered a new planet--no doubt, as far as strong, deep,

unalloyed pleasure is concerned, the advantage was with the boy, not the

astronomer.

The summer evenings were long. It was not dark, yet. Presently Tom

checked his whistle. A stranger was before him--a boy a shade larger

than himself. A new-comer of any age or either sex was an im-pressive

curiosity in the poor little shabby village of St. Petersburg. This boy

was well dressed, too--well dressed on a week-day. This was simply as

astounding. His cap was a dainty thing, his close-buttoned blue cloth

roundabout was new and natty, and so were his pantaloons. He had shoes

on--and it was only Friday. He even wore a necktie, a bright bit of

ribbon. He had a citified air about him that ate into Tom’s vitals. The

more Tom stared at the splendid marvel, the higher he turned up his nose

at his finery and the shabbier and shabbier his own outfit seemed to

him to grow. Neither boy spoke. If one moved, the other moved--but only

sidewise, in a circle; they kept face to face and eye to eye all the

time. Finally Tom said:

I can lick you!

I’d like to see you try it.

Well, I can do it.

No you can’t, either.

Yes I can.

No you can’t.

I can.

You can’t.

Can!

Can’t!

An uncomfortable pause. Then Tom said:

What’s your name?

‘Tisn’t any of your business, maybe.

Well I ‘low I’ll _make_ it my business.

Well why don’t you?

If you say much, I will.

Much--much--_much_. There now.

"Oh, you think you’re mighty smart, _don’t_ you? I could lick you with

one hand tied behind me, if I wanted to."

Well why don’t you _do_ it? You _say_ you can do it.

Well I _will_, if you fool with me.

Oh yes--I’ve seen whole families in the same fix.

Smarty! You think you’re _some_, now, _don’t_ you? Oh, what a hat!

"You can lump that hat if you don’t like it. I dare you to knock it

off--and anybody that’ll take a dare will suck eggs."

You’re a liar!

You’re another.

You’re a fighting liar and dasn’t take it up.

Aw--take a walk!

"Say--if you give me much more of your sass I’ll take and bounce a rock

off’n your head."

Oh, of _course_ you will.

Well I _will_.

"Well why don’t you _do_ it then? What do you keep _saying_ you will

for? Why don’t you _do_ it? It’s because you’re afraid."

I _ain’t_ afraid.

You are.

I ain’t.

You are.

Another pause, and more eying and sidling around each other. Presently

they were shoulder to shoulder. Tom said:

Get away from here!

Go away yourself!

I won’t.

I won’t either.

So they stood, each with a foot placed at an angle as a brace, and both

shoving with might and main, and glowering at each other with hate. But

neither could get an advantage. After struggling till both were hot and

flushed, each relaxed his strain with watchful caution, and Tom said:

"You’re a coward and a pup. I’ll tell my big brother on you, and he can

thrash you with his little finger, and I’ll make him do it, too."

"What do I care for your big brother? I’ve got a brother that’s bigger

than he is--and what’s more, he can throw him over that fence, too."

[Both brothers were imaginary.]

That’s a lie.

_Your_ saying so don’t make it so.

Tom drew a line in the dust with his big toe, and said:

"I dare you to step over that, and I’ll lick you till you can’t stand

up. Anybody that’ll take a dare will steal sheep."

The new boy stepped over promptly, and said:

Now you said you’d do it, now let’s see you do it.

Don’t you crowd me now; you better look out.

Well, you _said_ you’d do it--why don’t you do it?

By jingo! for two cents I _will_ do it.

The new boy took two broad coppers out of his pocket and held them out

with derision. Tom struck them to the ground. In an instant both boys

were rolling and tumbling in the dirt, gripped together like cats; and

for the space of a minute they tugged and tore at each other’s hair and

clothes, punched and scratched each other’s nose, and covered themselves

with dust and glory. Presently the confusion took form, and through the

fog of battle Tom appeared, seated astride the new boy, and pounding him

with his fists. Holler ‘nuff! said he.

The boy only struggled to free himself. He was crying--mainly from rage.

Holler ‘nuff!--and the pounding went on.

At last the stranger got out a smothered ‘Nuff! and Tom let him up and

said:

"Now that’ll learn you. Better look out who you’re fooling with next

time."

The new boy went off brushing the dust from his clothes, sobbing,

snuffling, and occasionally looking back and shaking his head and

threatening what he would do to Tom the next time he caught him out.

To which Tom responded with jeers, and started off in high feather, and

as soon as his back was turned the new boy snatched up a stone, threw it

and hit him between the shoulders and then turned tail and ran like

an antelope. Tom chased the traitor home, and thus found out where he

lived. He then held a position at the gate for some time, daring the

enemy to come outside, but the enemy only made faces at him through the

window and declined. At last the enemy’s mother appeared, and called Tom

a bad, vicious, vulgar child, and ordered him away. So he went away; but

he said he ‘lowed to lay for that boy.

He got home pretty late that night, and when he climbed cautiously in

at the window, he uncovered an ambuscade, in the person of his aunt; and

when she saw the state his clothes were in her resolution to turn his

Saturday holiday into captivity at hard labor became adamantine in its

firmness.

CHAPTER II

SATURDAY morning was come, and all the summer world was bright and

fresh, and brimming with life. There was a song in every heart; and if

the heart was young the music issued at the lips. There was cheer in

every face and a spring in every step. The locust-trees were in bloom

and the fragrance of the blossoms filled the air. Cardiff Hill, beyond

the village and above it, was green with vegetation and it lay just far

enough away to seem a Delectable Land, dreamy, reposeful, and inviting.

Tom appeared on the sidewalk with a bucket of whitewash and a

long-handled brush. He surveyed the fence, and all gladness left him and

a deep melancholy settled down upon his spirit. Thirty yards of board

fence nine feet high. Life to him seemed hollow, and existence but a

burden. Sighing, he dipped his brush and passed it along the topmost

plank; repeated the operation; did it again; compared the insignificant

whitewashed streak with the far-reaching continent of unwhitewashed

fence, and sat down on a tree-box discouraged. Jim came skipping out at

the gate with a tin pail, and singing Buffalo Gals. Bringing water from

the town pump had always been hateful work in Tom’s eyes, before, but

now it did not strike him so. He remembered that there was company at

the pump. White, mulatto, and negro boys and girls were always there

waiting their turns, resting, trading playthings, quarrelling, fighting,

skylarking. And he remembered that although the pump was only a hundred

and fifty yards off, Jim never got back with a bucket of water under an

hour--and even then somebody generally had to go after him. Tom said:

Say, Jim, I’ll fetch the water if you’ll whitewash some.

Jim shook his head and said:

"Can’t, Mars Tom. Ole missis, she tole me I got to go an’ git dis water

an’ not stop foolin’ roun’ wid anybody. She say she spec’ Mars Tom gwine

to ax me to whitewash, an’ so she tole me go ‘long an’ ‘tend to my own

business--she ‘lowed _she’d_ ‘tend to de whitewashin’."

"Oh, never you mind what she said, Jim. That’s the way she always talks.

Gimme the bucket--I won’t be gone only a a minute. _She_ won’t ever

know."

"Oh, I dasn’t, Mars Tom. Ole missis she’d take an’ tar de head off’n me.

‘Deed she would."

"_She_! She never licks anybody--whacks ‘em over the head with her

thimble--and who cares for that, I’d like to know. She talks awful, but

talk don’t hurt--anyways it don’t if she don’t cry. Jim, I’ll give you a

marvel. I’ll give you a white alley!"

Jim began to waver.

White alley, Jim! And it’s a bully taw.

"My! Dat’s a mighty gay marvel, I tell you! But Mars Tom I’s powerful

‘fraid ole missis--"

And besides, if you will I’ll show you my sore toe.

Jim was only human--this attraction was too much for him. He put down

his pail, took the white alley, and bent over the toe with absorbing

interest while the bandage was being unwound. In another moment he

was flying down the street with his pail and a tingling rear, Tom was

whitewashing with vigor, and Aunt Polly was retiring from the field with

a slipper in her hand and triumph in her eye.

But Tom’s energy did not last. He began to think of the fun he had

planned for this day, and his sorrows multiplied. Soon the free boys

would come tripping along on all sorts of delicious expeditions, and

they would make a world of fun of him for having to work--the very

thought of it burnt him like fire. He got out his worldly wealth and

examined it--bits of toys, marbles, and trash; enough to buy an exchange

of _work_, maybe, but not half enough to buy so much as half an hour

of pure freedom. So he returned his straitened means to his pocket, and

gave up the idea of trying to buy the boys. At this dark and hopeless

moment an inspiration burst upon him! Nothing less than a great,

magnificent inspiration.

He took up his brush and went tranquilly to work. Ben Rogers hove in

sight presently--the very boy, of all boys, whose ridicule he had been

dreading. Ben’s gait was the hop-skip-and-jump--proof enough that his

heart was light and his anticipations high. He was eating an apple, and

giving a long, melodious whoop, at intervals, followed by a deep-toned

ding-dong-dong, ding-dong-dong, for he was personating a steamboat. As

he drew near, he slackened speed, took the middle of the street, leaned

far over to starboard and rounded to ponderously and with laborious pomp

and circumstance--for he was personating the Big Missouri, and considered

himself to be drawing nine feet of water. He was boat and captain and

engine-bells combined, so he had to imagine himself standing on his own

hurricane-deck giving the orders and executing them:

Stop her, sir! Ting-a-ling-ling! The headway ran almost out, and he

drew up slowly toward the sidewalk.

Ship up to back! Ting-a-ling-ling! His arms straightened and stiffened

down his sides.

"Set her back on the stabboard! Ting-a-ling-ling! Chow! ch-chow-wow!

Chow!" His right hand, mean-time, describing stately circles--for it was

representing a forty-foot wheel.

Let her go back on the labboard! Ting-a-ling-ling! Chow-ch-chow-chow!

The left hand began to describe circles.

"Stop the stabboard! Ting-a-ling-ling! Stop the labboard! Come ahead on

the stabboard! Stop her! Let your outside turn over slow! Ting-a-ling-ling!

Chow-ow-ow! Get out that head-line! _lively_ now! Come--out with

your spring-line--what’re you about there! Take a turn round that stump

with the bight of it! Stand by that stage, now--let her go! Done with

the engines, sir! Ting-a-ling-ling! SH’T! S’H’T! SH’T!" (trying the

gauge-cocks).

Tom went on whitewashing--paid no attention to the steamboat. Ben stared

a moment and then said: _Hi-Yi! You’re_ up a stump, ain’t you!

No answer. Tom surveyed his last touch with the eye of an artist, then

he gave his brush another gentle sweep and surveyed the result, as

before. Ben ranged up alongside of him. Tom’s mouth watered for the

apple, but he stuck to his work. Ben said:

Hello, old chap, you got to work, hey?

Tom wheeled suddenly and said:

Why, it’s you, Ben! I warn’t noticing.

"Say--I’m going in a-swimming, I am. Don’t you wish you could? But of

course you’d druther _work_--wouldn’t you? Course you would!"

Tom contemplated the boy a bit, and said:

What do you call work?