Dysfunctional

CHAPTER ONE

T he old fashioned wooden swing was swaying back and forth, giving Millie a hypnotic sense of drifting aimlessly in a Netherworld somewhere. Her thoughts drifted back to the past, then to the present. She thought, I should go in and go to bed, this thinking about the past, or dreams of the future was a waste of time. She was living in the present, which was neither pleasant nor unpleasant, it was like being in limbo. She tried in her mind to separate the reality of her life and the fantasy that would creep into her thoughts when she was alone and sitting quiet.

Of course, she told herself. I would love to live my life differently, but this is the one I’m living and there was no going back and changing anything. I’m a single mother of my daughter and a surrogate mother to my niece and nephew until my sister comes back into their lives and assumes responsibility for them.

So I dream about what life could be.

Doesn’t take anything from anyone, doesn’t hurt anybody and it doesn’t cost anything.—Her dream man was just over average height. He had dark, slightly curly hair that he wears longer down the collar of his shirt. He has dark—brown eyes that can make a woman feel like she is being softly caressed. His wide mouth and sensuous smile that could make a woman’s toes curl up in her shoes, but not built like the heroes in the romance novels she frequently read. Her dream man was just a tad on the stocky side, with solid, robust, wide shoulders and strong long muscular legs, his hands are big with long, slender fingers. She could close her eyes and visualize him anytime she wanted to. Total recall any time that she chose to daydream. Not that looks were all that important, she also fantasied about his character. He possessed a good sense of humor, he was quick tempered, but the flare ups were short lived. He was loyal, true and made her feel loved and protected. She wouldn’t go there with fantasies of having sex with him, that was unsafe and unpredictable. Millie wasn’t too sure about that aspect of her dream man.

Hey, I’m good at this dream business. I’ve practically got it down to a science, she thought, as she got up from the porch swing and went inside, then locked the door. She took a quick shower and donned her skimpy nightie, then checked on her niece Melody and her nephew Paul before she crawled into her bed with her daughter, Terry. She tried to concentrate on nothing, so her mind could go blank and she could fall to sleep.

Millie awakened in the morning to the sound of her alarm clock going off. She took a moment and stretched out languorously. The real motivation that got her to get out of bed was; it was finally Friday. The last day of the work week and payday. She made a mad dash out of bed and swiftly dressed in cut-off Levis and a tee shirt. She quickly ran a brush through her short, dark curly hair, brushed her teeth and plashed cold water on her face, put some lipstick on, then headed for the kitchen. She grabbed the paper sack from the fridge with her lunch in it, just as she heard the horn beeping out in front of her home. Totally in sync, her neighbor, Barb, who was her baby sitter and one of her best friends came out of her apartment next door. Barb, always got Paul and Terry off to school every morning,then dressed Melody and took her to her home for the rest of the day. Rain or shine, this was the daily routine, Monday through Friday, not unless it was mandatory overtime on Saturday.

Sally sat patiently in her car and waited until Millie jumped into the passenger seat. Every morning they had the same conversation. Did any thing new or exciting happen to you, Millie?

Millie laughed. Same-o same-o, the usual. Tomorrow is Melody’s birthday. I finished that dress I was making for her, even pressed and wrapped it. I wish I could get her something else, but the rent is due this week.

She’ll be happy. Piece of cake making a three—year old happy. Wait until she is a teenager, that’s when the fun begins. Her friend sagely informed her.

Well then, I really do have something to look forward to, don’t I? Sally pulled into her usual parking spot and they both went into the plant, and headed for the break room area where another friend, Tess always brought a large thermos of coffee to share. Millie and Sally walked to where Tess was sitting. She poured them each a cup of coffee. Millie glanced at the clock, right on schedule, ten minutes until the whistle blew and they’d have to go work.

Tess laughed and greeted them, It’s TGIF day. Am I getting old or are the weeks getting longer? Sally just glared at Tess. They’d both worked for this company for thirty years. They’d both long ago given up the fantasy of having someone like Richard Gere come into the plant and sweep them up in his arms and carry them out of there like in the movie, ‘Officer and a gentleman.’ They both expected to continue working and get a gold watch in just over ten more years.

The ten minutes flew by and when the whistle blew; they all headed for their designated work stations. Millie pulled her chair out and sat down at her sewing machine. She flicked the power switch on. Took her shears and cut the tie string on a bundle of blouse parts. For the last four years of the nine years she’d worked here, she’d joined shoulder seams. A boring, repetitious task, but one that Millie was skilled at. None of the other girls on that job could match her speed, thus she was able to make a lot of extra money on piecework. The extra twenty—five dollars she made every week helped to feed her kids. She was always striving to increase her speed, her productivity. Often when the end of the day came her hands were trembling. She’d turn off the machine, shut her eyes and try to regain her normal equanimity. Satisfied that she’d done the best she could.—If only she’d been able to finish school, or was able to attend night school. Maybe she could when Melody was old enough to go to school, she hoped. Another thing she could do expertly, besides sew was to dream.

Saturday evening after their supper was over, Millie cleared the dirty dishes from the table and placed a birthday cake in the center of the table. Terry, Millie’s ten year old daughter placed three candles on it, while her mother got the small plates out of the cupboard. Just then Sally and Tess walked unexpectedly into the kitchen. Millie’s kitchen was like a second home to whomever she knew; no one ever knocked, just walked in and always received a sympathetic shoulder to cry on or attentive ears to listen to a small triumph in their lives. Terry lit the wicks on the three candles and they all sang happy birthday to a beaming, happy, little auburn—haired girl. Melody blew out the candles and Sally got in the fridge for the ice cream, while Millie cut the cake; Melody’s favorite, chocolate with creamy chocolate peanut—butter icing. When they were finished eating Tess cleared the table, took a wash cloth and cleaned off Melody’s chocolate smeared face. Then she handed the little girl a gift-wrapped present, then Sally gave her one. Terry got the gifts from her family and gave them to her. Melody squealed with delight every time she opened a gift. When the presents were all opened, Terry said to her little cousin, Melody, bring them all in the living room and we can all look them over again. Did you see the coloring book and crayons that Tess gave you? Wow! May I color one of the pages, please, pretty please with sugar on it? Melody giggled with glee.

The three women watched and listened to the children, then Millie commented, she was really surprised and she’s happy, isn’t she? Millie breathed a sigh of relief.

Your birthday is next Saturday and you’ve got a surprise coming to you, girl. Sally blurted out. Millie raised her eye brows, the scepticism showing on her face. As much as she liked her two old friends, Millie knew she had plenty of reasons to be leery of their machinations.

What are you two up to now? If it’s another blind date, you know I won’t go, you’ve tried this before. Millie chided her old friends, that were always trying to get her hooked up with a man.

Tess laughed. No, we know better than that now, after ten times standing ‘your date’ up, and Sally and I catching the devil from them because you never showed up. We won’t attempt that again.

We’re taking you out. It’s time you were introduced to the wild side of life. We’re taking you to the club with us next Saturday night. Sally gave her a stern look with a message that commanded respect and brooked no resistance.

Millie laughed and knew better than to argue. You know I don’t have the right clothes to wear and I can’t afford to pay a baby sitter.

Sally handed her a large shopping bag, and Millie pulled the contents out. A black dress, black high—heeled shoes, and sheer black nylons. Millie had never been able to buy anything like this in her life. She ran her hand over the silky fabric of the dress. No excuses now. Tess and I paid for the outfit and my daughter, Marty is baby sitting for you. It’s going to cost me two pizzas a week for a month, but it’s worth it. It’s time you got out and at least try to meet someone, you’re too young and beautiful to live like a nun, it’s time you got some romance in your life.

Millie just shook her head, according to her old work pals, all your problems could be solved in bed, a cure all for everything. Hey, you two are still looking. What makes you think I’ll get lucky?

Tess and Sally roared with laughter. Sally, barely able to speak sputtered out, Honey, getting lucky is getting laid, we’re hoping for more for you; meet Mr. Right and have a happy good life. We’re rooting for you. You are one gorgeous girl, you can aim high, you’ll have men falling at your feet.

In your dreams. No, maybe in her dreams, she’d never be able to tell them about her secret dream man, the one that rode into her life on a white horse every night; they’d razz her constantly. Okay, just once, I’ll go out with you two, then maybe you’ll leave me in peace.

Tess and Sally whooped with joy, they’d been trying to get her out socially for years. They had a plan. It was going to be better than a fourth of July fireworks. The two matchmakers helped Millie with the dishes and left the house happy that their plan was gaining momentum.

Every day the following week, Millie got up a little earlier and fixed her hair differently each time. The girls at work voted on her new hairdos. They’d all agreed Thursdays’ hair style looked the best. Millie was beginning to actually look forward to going out. The girls at the plant gave her well-meaning advice and warnings all week. What did they think she was? Just because she’d never been on a date before did not necessarily mean she didn’t know what to do or how to act. Or did she? Well, going out once would satisfy her old friends and then maybe they would leave her alone. Let her live her lonely, frustrated life in peace.

Saturday night Millie stood before her full-length mirror and couldn’t believe her eyes. She thought she looked amazing in her black dress with her creamy shoulders exposed and a decent amount of cleavage showed at the top of the bodice. There was a slit up the side, revealing a shapely leg. She used more makeup than she usually did. She’d practiced all week learning to walk in the high heels. Thank God, they weren’t stilettos. She’d mastered walking properly, but she was told at work by the girls that they were torture on the feet. One girl recommended sponge insoles, which did help, just a little. She wondered why women chose to torture themselves like that, but when she looked at her image in the full length mirror on the back of the bathroom door, she got her answer. She’d never looked better.

Later that evening, when they walked into the nightclub, Millie strained to see in the large room. It was dimly lit and the cigarette smoke was so thick, she couldn’t see two feet in front of her. She thought, gee whiz, I could have worn anything, who would have noticed any differently. The strobe lights over the dance floor provided nearly all the light and Millie’s eyes were having trouble adjusting to their constant flickering. The music being played by a live band was extremely loud, although it didn’t sound too bad. But you wouldn’t be able to hear yourself think in here, let alone hear what anyone said to you. She followed Tess and Sally to an unoccupied table. She tried to ignore the open stares from the men congregated at the bar. She didn’t have time to lay her purse on the table and a tall swarthy looking man approached her for a dance. She thought that was what he said, she couldn’t hear his words. She didn’t want to dance, she wanted to get acclimated to her surroundings before she left her seat. She shook her head and waved him off. Before the waitress brought their drinks, two more men were hanging all over her and asking to dance with her. She thought that was what they said to her.

Was this called fun? She gave Sally and Tess a dirty look. She took a sip of her Tom Collins and puckered her face up, wishing it was sweeter. Both Tess and Sally got up to dance, leaving Millie alone at the table. Lord, she felt self—conscious, so out of place here. An older gentleman came up to the table, smiled gallantly at her, and whispered in her ear. Will you dance with me, beautiful Lady? You’ll be safe with me, little one. She believed him, but soon found out that his intentions weren’t fatherly as he kept pulling her closer, laying his hand too low on her back. She broke away from him and returned to her table. He laughed and walked away. She refused to dance again, and after awhile the men had pegged her as a snob, and perhaps thought she was too good for them. They griped to each other. Why had she come here, if she didn’t want to dance or mingle with the men?

The men asked Sally and Tess about her and complained. Sally and Tess felt Millie didn’t need to win a popularity contest, just meet the right man tonight. They wondered where he was tonight, he was usually here. They watched the doorway for his appearance. It was close to midnight when he walked in. Sally and Tess breathed a long sigh of relief, they’d accomplished what they’d set out to do. Now if Millie didn’t blow him off, which wouldn’t surprise them at all.

Millie looked up and noticed the two men that appeared in the doorway, and were casually looking around. The one walked toward the bar, obviously they weren’t together. She just glanced at them and, then her eyes returned to the first man. He looked familiar. A little over average height, build thick and solid, broad shoulders and dark slightly curly hair down to his collar. Even from a distance she knew his eyes were dark. She actually giggled when she realized he looked like her own dream man. What was he doing in this nightclub? He looked her way, never taking his eyes from her and started walking towards her. Millie felt panicky. Whatever could she say to him? She had to get out of here, she got up quickly and headed for the ladies’ room.

He intercepted her, when they were both near the dance floor. Not giving her a choice, he deftly took her into his arms, not holding her too close and swung her out on the dance floor. Her feet no longer hurt as she smoothly danced with him like they’d been dancing together forever. You weren’t trying to run away, were you, doll? His dark eyes gazed into her face, the corners of his eyes crinkled. His smile was devastating, just as she’d always imagined it, just as she’d dreamed it. If there had been room in her high heeled shoes, maybe her toes would have curled up.

Millie blushed like a frustrated, hormonal teenager. He laughed and whispered in her ear, she could smell his woodsy cologne and the mint on his breath. You’re shy and beautiful, what a wonderful combination. You obviously don’t get out socially very often, do you? Relax, beautiful, I haven’t bitten anyone in a long time. He laughingly teased as he nibbled at her ear with his teeth, sending shivers through Millie.

They kept dancing, he still held her when two songs ended and the band started another. When that song ended, they started playing a Texas two step number. She pulled away from him. I don’t know how to dance to this music. She started walking away, but he pulled her back.

As light as you are on your feet, you can do it. I’ll show you the basic steps, nothing to it. Millie tried to follow his steps and she quickly caught on. She liked this dance; she’d often tried to do this in the middle of her living room floor when this snappy music played on the radio. She threw her head back and laughed. He was mesmerized. Her laugh was gay and melodious, not the forced laughter he heard every day from polite society. When the song ended, she asked to go back to her table.

I don’t suppose you know how to dance to a waltz or the rumba? He asked as they were walking to her table.

Millie laughed. Heavens no, the last time I danced was at a high school dance, and we would have considered those dances just for old fogies. Ballroom dancing wasn’t our speed. I need a break, that’s a vigorous dance and I never did it before. They walked back to her table. He wondered about the last words of that last sentence and wondered if that remark could be taken literally

He was surprised to see she was with Tess and Sally, his old boozing buddies. Although, Sally had called him and told him, they would have a surprise waiting for him tonight at the club. They’d tried this before. The women they tried to fix him up with were just a little on the course side for him, all right for an evening of amusement and whatever, nothing more. Tess and Sally, glad to see you, buddies. He hugged them both and then he waved to the waitress for service.

J.B., we want you to meet our little friend. J.B., this is Millie Nobles and Millie, meet J.B. Cornell, an old friend. Tess happily made the introductions.

J.B. took Millie’s hand. Tess, Millie and I are already good friends. I taught her how to do the Texas two-step. I’d be happy to teach her anything she wants to learn. He teased, his husky voice sexy with suggestive, sexual innuendo.

Millie’s face turned scarlet. She put her hands up to her face. She was so embarrassed by his insinuation and she knew he was just teasing. She knew men and women bantered like that.

J.B. laughed and pulled her to her feet. I’m sorry, love, I’ll try not to embarrass you anymore, let’s dance again; I like this song, they are playing, don’t you? When they resumed dancing, Millie buried her face in his neck, trying to regain her composure, which wasn’t going to be easy as he drew her closer, her body nestled into his. She felt her body quiver.

Tess and Sally were right, she thought, I’m so naive and inexperienced with the opposite sex, it is downright pathetic. A woman my age should be able to tease and flirt right back, when a man was playfully bantering with her. Not blush and flutter like a school kid. Millie wondered if she’d ever become accustomed to a hard, masculine body pressed against hers and not tremble like she was now.

J.B. danced her to the furthest corner, it was secluded and darker there. She raised her face to say something and he dropped his face down and kissed her, pressed her butt to his hard erection and with the other hand caressed her body. His hand roved over her breasts, her hips, her bare shoulders. He broke the kiss off because he was losing control, and he’d laughed at her. He knew one thing for sure; he was going to get to know this woman a lot better, a whole lot better. He reluctantly separated from her. They just stood quietly and talked. She looked so vulnerable, he wondered if she was innocent. He couldn’t believe Tess and Sally would try to hook him up with a virgin, for gripes sake. They were going to get a piece of his mind, when he got them alone. When J.B. gained back his control and when he was more presentable, they slowly walked back to the table, hand and hand. J.B. chided himself, he never lost control like this, hell, she was just another beautiful woman, nothing spectacular about her.

Tess laughed. Now you have to admit, J.B., we’d make good matchmakers. I’ve thought you two would hit it off. Millie isn’t like Sally and me. She’s a lady, born to it, I guess. All she needs is some romance in her life, she’s too young and beautiful to live without it, and Sally and I knew you were the right one to supply that to her. She took a swig from her bottle of beer and laughed again.

This time when Millie’s face got red, it wasn’t from embarrassment, she was angry. Tess, I can’t believe you. I thought you knew me better than that. You know I’ve always lived respectably. This is definitely the last time I’m coming here ever and I’d like to go home, now.

Chill out kid, the night is young and I’m not finished drinking. Besides, J.B. is a decent man too. Don’t be so damn quick to judge, lighten up and get off your high horse, it’s time you knew how adult men and women reacted to each other, hiding away and never going out socially is a cowardly way of life.

Sally returned to the table. Is she giving you a hard time, Millie. Tell her to kiss your ass, don’t take any of her crap. Sally muttered sarcastically.

Much as she liked Tess and Sally, she hoped she wasn’t being judged by the company she was keeping. She shouldn’t have been thrust into a situation like she had been tonight. They should have known she wasn’t prepared for this kind of socializing. Maybe this was what kept getting her sister, Susan into trouble. She thoughtfully mused.

J.B. leaned close to her so she’d hear what he said, Millie, I’m leaving shortly, I have an early meeting in the morning, so I’ll have to get up early. I’d be glad to drop you off at your home; no problem. J.B. looked sincerely at her, surely her ‘dream man’ wouldn’t turn into a monster when she was alone with him. Besides, hadn’t she just been telling herself she should learn how to handle bad situations, learn how to rebuke unwanted advances. Good God, she was twenty—six years old today, not a flustered teenager.

Thank you J.B., I would appreciate it. She stood, then turned to talk to Sally and Tess, I’m sorry Tess and Sally, I really do have a beastly headache, I think it’s the smoke in here. J.B. and Millie walked out of the club together.

Tess and Sally nearly cracked up laughing. Finally Tess was able to talk. She left with him, you know she’s going to get laid, if I know J.B. Millie doesn’t stand a tinkers’ chance in hell against him. They signaled the waitress for another round of beer. The night was young and they’d accomplished their mission. They got their two favorite people together, now they could just stand back and watch the sparks fly, and they truly believed that they would.

J.B.’s car was parked nearby. Millie was surprised when she noticed it was a BMW. He opened her door and she slid across the smooth leather seat. When J.B. walked around the car, Millie admired the lush interior of the car. He got in the drivers side and expertly pulled the car away from the curb, then wheeled out on to the thruway. She told him the area where she lived, and he took the exit ramp near her home. I live on Wilson street. I’ll tell you when we are nearing my home. They rode in silence for several blocks. Slow up now, J.B. How lucky for you, I see there is a parking spot right in front of the house.

J.B. pulled close to the curb and turned off the engine. He hoped she’d linger for a while and talk, instead of running inside her house like a scared rabbit. She surprised him, when she invited him into her home for a cup of coffee. Usually for him that was an open invitation, but he wasn’t sure with this woman. He followed her up the steps and she paused to open the door with her key, then they both stepped inside. Millie walked over to a young woman sleeping on the sofa. Marty, I’m home, you wanted me to waken you, but I wish you would stay here until morning, it’s very late. Millie didn’t want her walking the three blocks to her own home. She