You-Turn: Saving Our Nation and Ourselves

Copyright © 2011 Lynne Avery

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ISBN: 978-1-4497-1758-2 (e)

ISBN: 978-1-4497-1756-8 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4497-1757-5 (hc)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2011929104

Printed in the United States of America

WestBow Press rev. date: 6/27/2011

TO MY MOTHER AND FATHER

TO MY SON AND ALL YOUNG PEOPLE

With God’s help, the burden will be light

TO GLORIA

My friend

TO PAL

Thanks

Contents

Introduction

Disclaimer: Life Does Not Have a Reset Button

Part I – …It Was What It Was

Chapter 1. Heroes and Wise Sayings of the ‘50s

Chapter 2. The Hollywood Evidence

Chapter 3. From Father Knows Best to Father Knows Nothing

Part II – The Nation of My Childhood

Chapter 4. If the Mitten Doesn’t Fit…

Chapter 5. The Golden Rule

Chapter 6. Parents Were Adults

Chapter 7. Honesty Was the Policy

Chapter 8. Freedom to Choose and Sometimes Lose

Chapter 9. Kids Learned Patience and Humility

Chapter 10. The Wonder of Christmas

Chapter 11. Families Played and Stayed Together

Chapter 12. Friendship, Kindness, Generosity

Chapter 13. Open Spaces and Open Lives

Chapter 14. Remorse, Confession, and Forgiveness Kept Peace in the Hood.

Part III – Things Changed

Chapter 15. The World Turned Upside Down

Chapter 16. No Going Back

Chapter 17. Vietnam and Revolution 101

Chapter 18. Pre-emptive Reciprocity

Chapter 19. Why?

Chapter 20. The Trojan Horse

Part IV – The Young: Our Hope for the Future

Chapter 21. Our Precious Bumbles–to-Be

Chapter 22. Baby Dearest

Chapter 23. Lowering the Bar

Chapter 24. Self-Respect verses Self Centeredness

Chapter 25. The Only Pebble on the Beach

Chapter 26. Self-Centeredness Is Not a Social Asset

Part V – Bondage

Chapter 27. Apathy and Dependency

Chapter 28. The Return of the Radicals- A Flashback to a Bad Trip

Chapter 29. Bondage- Big Brother Is Coming…Big Brother Is Here

Part VI – The Power in Truth, Selfless Love and Knowing God

Chapter 30. Tell the Truth

Chapter 31. Living by the Power of Selfless Love

Chapter 32. Gods Love Transforms Us

Chapter 33. God’s Love is Performing Miracles Every Day

Chapter 34. My Own Extreme Makeover

Chapter 35. Peace

Chapter 36. The World is Still the World

Chapter 37. A Challenge for Christians

Chapter 38. A Message for Non-Christians

Chapter 39. Receiving God’s Love

Chapter 40. As We Go Forward

Chapter 41. A Message to the Younger Generation

Chapter 42. A Message for the Baby Boomers

Introduction

The following description of the rise and fall of the most outstanding civilizations in history should be posted in every classroom, place of employment and government office in our great but struggling nation:

The average age of the world’s greatest civilizations from the beginning of history, has been about 200 years. During those 200 years, those nations always progressed through the following sequence: The people go from bondage to spiritual truth, from spiritual truth to great courage, from courage to liberty, from liberty to abundance, from abundance to selfishness, from selfishness to apathy, from apathy to dependence, from dependence back again to bondage.

(Alexander F. Tytler, history professor,

University of Edinburgh, Scotland, Cycle of Democracy. 1770)

The United States was a very young country when Professor Tytler made this observation, and our future was still unknown. Over the ensuing 240 years, we have pretty well stuck to the pattern outlined by Dr. Tytler. It isn’t hard to see where our country stands in this sequence: one foot in dependence and the other in bondage.

It would be a mistake for us to think that we cannot lose our freedoms when it has happened to others again and again throughout history. A nation whose people do not routinely practice honesty and fairness and who do not feel connected to each other can easily fall into anarchy during a severe economic depression, when government safety nets become depleted. If we continue to act like vultures, fighting over the carcass of a beached whale called the United States, we may all find ourselves sitting on top of a well- picked skeleton and asking ourselves, What happened?

When we look at both the problems that we face, how they developed and even more importantly, why we have been ineffective in solving them, one root cause emerges. That cause is referred to in a little- known verse in the patriotic song America the Beautiful:

America! America!

God shed his grace on thee

Till selfish gain no longer stain

The banner of the free!

Katherine Bates

It is interesting to note that Dr. Tytler’s sequential model identifies selfishness as the entity that begins the decline of great civilizations. For the past half-century our country has increasingly embraced selfish gain, and we are paying the price in every area of our society. I am not talking about profit or gain; that is a normal part of capitalistic interaction. Our country was far more capitalistic and far less selfish fifty years ago than it is today. Rather, I am talking about gain of any kind to which we are not entitled.

One type of gain that we are not entitled to is gain that is itself immoral, such as the gain of another person’s husband. Another type of gain that we should reject is gain obtained by the wrong means, such as gain achieved by dishonest or unethical business practices.

When we baby boomers were growing up in the 1950s, our society promoted and honored the Golden Rule. Although we did not always do unto others as we would have them do unto us, most people were aware that this was the standard society had set and therefore people generally attempted to fulfill that standard much of the time.

Of course, the racial and gender inequalities back in the 1950s were a glaring exception to this. Thankfully, we have made significant headway in addressing those inequities over the past fifty years. Hopefully we will continue to make headway in breaking down the racial and gender walls in our society.

At the beginning of this book, we will revisit life in the United States in the 1950s and early ‘60s. I suspect many readers will relate to some of the personal anecdotal remembrances. Life was not perfect in the 50s, but kids were safer and freer than they are today. Many of us boomers have forgotten how much freedom we had as kids. We were also more trusting of our fellow citizens and often happier with our personal lives than many children seem to be today. Hopefully tracing the breadcrumbs backward to a place in time when people were less me-oriented will remind the baby boomers that we are actually happier when we give more and take less.

More importantly, I hope that a review of life in this country over a half century ago will help the younger readers understand that they are not doomed to live self-centered lives in a self-centered nation. My personal relationships with many young people tell me that this generation desperately needs to hear the message that they are loved unconditionally and that their value has nothing to do with how they look, how much money they have, or what others think of them. Giving to and living for others is what builds the self-esteem that the young today seem to lack.

Next we will put on our tie-dyed shirts and bell-bottomed pants and venture into the late ‘60s and early ‘70s to see how and why our nation’s values changed. I, like many of my generation, was in the vortex of the 1960s storm and so am able to present many eyewitness accounts of those turbulent times.

Then we will return to the present day and evaluate the problems we face as a society and as individuals in the light of this new value system. Finally, we will consider how we, as individuals, can reverse the downward spiral of our nation and hopefully retain the freedoms that our forefathers fought so hard for. To do this we must unite as a people.

The need for Americans to come together as one people and to work and sacrifice for each other is not just a nice idea. It is critical to the survival of our democracy. Selfishness leads to conflict and misunderstandings, which opens the door to more laws and less freedom. If we are to avoid the bondage that Tytler refers to, all of those who love the United States of America, despite her flaws, must make a personal you-turn away from the selfishness that divides us.

When we begin paying forward the Golden Rule, instead of selfishness, the resulting trust, honesty, and unity will enable us to work together and make the most of all of our people’s talents and resources as we attempt to solve the problems of this nation. For those who do not love this country or who feel disconnected from her legacy of freedom and opportunity, remember, we are all sitting in a life raft in a rough ocean. Although you may not like the brand of the raft, it would be wise to commit yourself and your oar to rowing with the rest of us toward a safe landfall. Perhaps you will find a connection and love for our nation and its diverse people while working in harmony with the rest of us toward a better future.

Disclaimer:

Life Does Not Have a Reset Button

My son once told me that one of his professors described conservatives as people who can’t adjust to the present and want to live in the past. Let me assure the reader that neither the title of this book nor its favorable references to years gone by reflect a wish on the author’s part to live in the past. First, this is that not possible and second, it is not desirable. It is not possible because we are always moving and changing. We are never standing still. Despite the perception that history repeats itself, we can never return to the exact same scenario in time. That is one reason that it is so hard to learn from history.

Even if we could get in a DeLorean, like Marty McFly, and return permanently to the past, it is not desirable that we do so. There are many things that I suspect most of us would wish to change about the 1950s and early ‘60s. Many people are rightly ashamed of the racial and gender discrimination that existed back then. These attitudes were destructive to both the dominant and the subservient parties in our nation.

However, even within the most racially oppressed communities, most parents in the ‘50s were teaching their kids the Golden Rule and all the values associated with it, such as honesty, kindness, and humility. Families across all racial and socio-economic groups were generally intact and one or both of the parents were working. Love and respect were taught in these homes, just like in other households thorough out the nation.

When I was growing up, women were often at home bringing up the kids, and for the kids, that was good. My mom was home every lunch hour and every day after school during my grammar school years. Eventually, some of these moms, including mine, went to work. I was about fifteen by the time my mother entered the work force. The child-rearing years were over and my mom was looking for something to do. She enjoyed her job but I never heard her bemoan the years she spent at home as a mom. I’m sure there were times when she was frustrated, tired and even resentful; however, I don’t believe she ever seriously considered just doing what made her feel good while ignoring the responsible things required of a parent.

Undeniably, there are many areas of life that have improved since I was a child. Among many others, the progress in medicine, entertainment, access to information and travel come to mind. However, this progress has been accompanied by an increasingly self-centered value system. This selfishness has caused the loneliness and emptiness that have prevented us from fully utilizing and enjoying the technological and scientific discoveries that we have made over the past fifty years.

I totally realize and freely admit that our nation was not perfect when I was a child. However, government worked, private enterprise thrived, problems got solved, people felt safe and we had more freedom because most people voluntarily submitted themselves to the common good. Perhaps most important of all was that, in general, people liked, trusted, and helped each other. For some, this may have been true only within ethnic groups. However, in general, people still had more interpersonal support even within those groups than many have today.

With the legal and personal commitment to fairness that the past fifty years has brought in our country, we could have a nation whose people are a shining example to the world. But first we must return to the faith, ethical values and individual accountability that founded and has for almost 250 years sustained us as one nation.

Part I

 …It Was What It Was

Chapter 1

Heroes and Wise Sayings of the ‘50s

Whether they were cowboys, policemen or super humans, the 1950s childhood television heroes were honest, brave, self-sacrificing, loyal and kind. They played fair and risked all for the common good. Those that carried guns did not shoot first, they did not shoot those who weren’t armed and they did not shoot people in the back. Those that fought with fists did not fight dirty, nor did they gang up on a lone opponent. They could be counted on to protect the weak and the defenseless. We kids always knew that no matter what the cost, our heroes would pay it, or at least risk it, to do the right thing. Perhaps our heroes were a little too perfect; however, they set the bar high and so we kids tried a little harder to measure up to that bar.

Even our real life heroes were bigger than life. The press didn’t reveal the details of personal failings as they do today, so we kids put Mickey Mantle, John Wayne and President Eisenhower on a pedestal. If information had reached our ears that they had done things that violated their hero status, we would have quickly taken any one of them off that pedestal. Character and respect went hand in hand back then, unlike today, where we