Beautiful Deception: Pride and Honor, #3

prologue

mac

The day Twitch proposed to Tasha was supposed to be a good day. It was for them, but I couldn't help the little spike of jealousy that reared its ugly head. For every one of my brothers that found the girl of their dreams and settled down made me more pissed that I found the girl of mine and I couldn't hold her. I couldn't even talk to her. Griffin, owner of GTT, and best friend to all of us, twisted the knife when he asked Marcy to help with his girlfriend, Kaylee’s, treatment. Every time I saw Marcy and she refused to even look at me, the anger building up became greater.

Welcome to the family, Trix. I heard Griffin tease as he hugged Tasha, new fiancé to my cousin Dylan, or as we annoyingly referred to him as Twitch.

Family, I wanted one of those. It was bad enough I found out my family was stolen from me by a madman, who eventually tried to take Twitch from me too. Marcy was the only chance I ever had at having a real family.

Hey pretty girl, you know you don't have to marry that over grown ape, I said chuckling. Tasha gave me a smile and nodded her head.

Yeah, I kind of love him though.

Kind of? Twitch wrapped his arms around his new fiancé and nuzzled her neck.

I had to turn my head at the outward display of affection. Stepping back off the wrap-around porch, I looked up towards the window on the second floor and saw her. She looked like hell; I don't think she slept at all last night. Her beautiful blue eyes were red rimmed from crying, and it nearly broke me. I am the cause of those tears, I thought to myself. How could I let Twitch lay into her like that last night? I was disgusted with myself for making Marcy cry. I may not have said the words that broke the dam, but I definitely didn't stop him from saying them.

The worst part was I knew deep down she was hiding something. I knew from the way she jumped in my arms when we found her in that fucking basement that she still loved me. She was hiding behind false anger. I could see the longing in her eyes when she let that mask of hers slip, and I was going to figure it out. If it was the last thing I did, I was going to get her back and there was no time like the present. I quietly excused myself from the engagement party and made my way over to the now empty doorway. It was a pretty big house, but I knew which room she was staying in and made my way there.

Not even bothering to knock, I pushed the door open. What are you doing? she spit hatefully at me, but I just smiled.

Just wanted to see if you were okay.

I'm fine. She turned away and started throwing things into her open suitcase.

Liar.

She stiffened briefly, but that was the only indication she heard me.

What do you want, Mac?

You, I replied with complete honesty and she hung her head.

You won't.

What do you mean by that?

She sighed heavily and looked over her shoulder at me.

Forget about me. Forget about us. There is no us anymore. There hasn't been for a long time. I could hear the quiver in her voice and saw the shimmering tears in her eyes.

What are you hiding, Pix? What's this deep dark secret you think I will never forgive you for? I know you're hiding something. I can see it in your eyes when you think I'm not looking that you still love me. Advancing on her, I pulled her back into my chest and waited.

I knew I was going to hate myself later for it, but I couldn't help it. I had to touch her. It wasn't an impulse, it was a need. Settling my hands on her hips, I brushed my stubbled jaw down her neck. She shuddered in pleasure as I ran my lips up to the shell of her ear. The soft moan that escaped her lips was like heaven.

I was instantly rock hard and moved my hands up slowly. Her body felt different somehow, softer. Her slight curves were a bit more pronounced than the last time I held her like this. I didn't care; I was just happy to have her in my arms and not pulling away.

She mumbled a weak protest, but I swallowed it with my lips. Turning her towards me, the kiss was slow and searching at first, but steadily grew hotter and more demanding. Moving my hands up her hips and to her stomach beneath the hem of her T-shirt, I felt a small scar that hadn't been there before, and I froze.

Breaking the kiss, I looked deep in her eyes and without warning, I pulled the shirt over her head. Terror poured out of her. It was visible in her eyes as I dropped to my knees and inspected the scar.

What's this? I asked running a finger across the long incision that crossed her lower belly.

N-nothing, she stammered and tried to back away.

Don't lie to me, I snapped looking at her with hurt in my eyes.

She jerked. In surprise or fear, I wasn’t sure but I instantly felt guilty. Trying to rein myself in, I asked in a gentler tone, What's that scar from, Marce?

The fear in her eyes was bad enough, but when she burst into gut wrenching sobs, I knew whatever she was hiding was about to tear my whole world apart.

I-I'm so sorry! I thought it was best. I didn't know, she sobbed and my world stopped.

What are you saying Marcy? I didn’t care at that moment if my tone was glacial.

It couldn't be what I was thinking. She couldn't have been that vindictive? Could she? Her next words changed my life forever, and at that moment I wasn't sure I would ever be the same. She walked to the bed and pulled something from the small compartment in her duffle bag, then walked towards me with trepidation as she held out the small photograph. Looking down at the boy with her blue eyes and my strong facial features, I nearly crumpled to the ground.

His name is Johnny. He's your son.

one

marcy

It had been two weeks. Two weeks since I divulged my secret, since I showed Mac the picture of our son, and he grabbed it and barreled out of the room. It was time to have a talk with Johnny. I had been moping around the house, and the smart kid that he was, had started to notice.

Christmas was approaching and Griffin—being the amazing guy he was—had asked us to join his family for the holiday. It would be the last time we’d all get to see Tasha and Twitch for an indeterminate amount of time. Since discovering Tasha and Twitch’s combined past, they were going into hiding until we had a solution to put their past and her criminal father to a permanent rest.

Hey buddy, I said with a smile as my son, who was the spitting image of his father except for his eyes, walked into the room.

Hey Mom, what's up?

I motioned him over to the cream leather sofa I was sitting on. We need to talk about something. As he plopped himself down on the sofa and sprawled himself out like most eleven-year-old boys, I began, You remember when I told you why I kept having to go to LA and you had to stay with me-ma? He graced me with a nod and waited for me to continue.

Well my friend Griffin needed my help and Griffin… he's best friends with your dad. I stopped and waited for that to sink in. It only took a moment for confusion to settle on his handsome features, but as I knew it would, anger immediately replaced it.

"You have been seeing my dad, and you didn't take me?"

I needed you to know…because I told him about you last time I was there, and…we are going to meet him for Christmas, I said pausing between half the words as I forced them out of my mouth.

Wait, what? He never knew about me? I could see the hurt and recrimination in his eyes, and I nearly doubled over in pain.

No baby, I never told him I was pregnant.

He launched his body off the sofa, standing taller than I was sitting. All these years I thought my dad was some jerk who didn't want me? Every time I asked about him you would be sad for days, so I stopped asking. I thought… I thought… He began pacing, but I could see his hands shake as he stuffed them in his pockets. How could you do this to me, Mom? he whispered out, his eyes filling with angry hurt tears. The anger I could take. I deserved it. The sadness though? That was a different story, and one I expected and rightfully deserved.

A throat clearing behind me had me stiffening. My mother was looking at me then Johnny with bewildered sadness. You finally told him, eh?

How much did you hear, Ma? I looked towards the ceiling hoping it would give me strength.

Enough, she replied with a tsk.

Johnny bounced his head back and forth between the two of us like he was watching an air hockey game, before giving me a final death glare, then storming to his room.

After hearing my son’s door open and slam close three times as if letting me know the extent of his anger, my mother continued, I hate to say I told you so- she started but I didn't let her get the words out.

No, you don't, Ma. You have been waiting for twelve years for this to blow up in my face, I sighed hiding my face in my hands.

You may have just lost them both, you know that?

Yeah Ma, I know. She didn't get it. She had no idea that this secret had plagued me for the last twelve years of my life.

How are you going to keep him from leaving us?

I'm not. If he wants to go live with Tim in California, then I will go too. There isn't a force on this earth that could keep me from him.

What about Tim?

What about him? He hates me now. There is no getting back with him. I sighed and stood. Walking to the big bay windows, I looked out on the Baltimore skyline. I knew what doing this would do to him, and I did it anyway. Maybe I deserve to lose everything. He sure as hell didn't deserve to have the first eleven years of his son’s life stolen from him.

I heard the clacking of her shoes against the tile as she walked over to join me at the window. Placing her hand on my shoulder and turning me around, she looked at me puzzled. What do you mean by that?

He never cheated on me, Ma. I could barely stand my own guilt, and now I was going to have to face down everyone with what I had done. I found out when Johnny was about two. I ran into the woman who I thought he cheated on me with. Come to find out, it was Andy’s wife.

The audible gasp from her was evidence that she knew who I was talking about.

I figured it was better if he moved on with his life because it wouldn't matter whether he loved me or not when he found out what I had done. He wouldn’t have forgiven me then, and he definitely won’t forgive me now.

Oh Marcy. She grabbed me now by both shoulders. You should have told him when you found out the truth. Stubborn, stubborn woman. I wanted to bury my head on my mom’s shoulders, like a hurt child, but I wasn’t the hurt child in this situation, and I didn’t deserve anyone’s comfort. You really have stepped in it now. What are you going to do?

I could feel a single tear trailing its way down my cheek, and I hastily wiped it away. I never should have let him get close enough to touch me. I wouldn't be in this mess if he hadn't. It didn't matter though. He would have found out eventually.

Griffin has invited us to spend Christmas with them. Twitch and Tasha are going away for a while, and we don't know when we will see them again.

That's a good idea; let Johnny spend some time with his father and get to know him.

Yeah, that's the idea, I replied wiping another errant tear. I’m praying for a miracle. Just hoping when all is said and done he can forgive me for what I have done.

Who?

I don't know? Both?

two

mac

Sitting at the bar in O’Reilly’s, I was nursing my seventh or eighth beer when Griffin found me. It had been two weeks since we left D.C. Two weeks since my soul was shattered into a million pieces. I couldn't believe she had done it. Eleven fucking years I had missed out on. How could anyone be so cruel? She knew how badly I wanted a family. She knew that it would break me.

I think you have had enough, buddy, Griffin said as he sat down next to me.

It still hurts. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. I didn't do feelings. We didn't talk about touchy feely shit.

So, what? You're just going to drink all your pain away?

Why the fuck not? They all must have noticed my moods to send the shrink in to badger me. Griffin was the glue that held our group together. He was the one we all went to when something was bothering us. He was also a pushy sonofabitch who would get us to talk even if we didn't want to.

What about Johnny? Do you want him to see the man I see right now, who is so far deep into the bottle that he can't think straight? Or, do you want him to see Mac the strong, loyal, smart man we have all come to depend on?

What does it matter? She made her choice, I said getting angry. She told me that I am no longer a part of her life.

It's not about you and her anymore, Griffin replied steadfast and took a swig from his bottle of water.

The little blonde waitress walked by eyeing me like she always did. I wasn't interested. I never had been, but that didn't stop her from flirting.

Mac, can I get you anything, honey? she purred stopping in front of me.

I shook my head in denial and Griffin slapped me on the back. Let me give you a ride home, brother.

As I got up to leave, I felt a small hand clamp down on my wrist. Looking down, I noticed the blonde was smiling and batting her eyelashes at me. Wondering briefly if that ever worked on men, I almost missed the words that came next. Mac? Do you maybe want to have a drink with me sometime? Her big blue eyes looked hopeful as she waited for my answer.

I had to look down at her name tag before replying. I felt like a dick for not remembering her name, but I couldn't help it. Heather, I'm not good company right now, sorry.

As I turned away she let go of my arm and her next words struck me in the chest like a bullet through the heart. Whoever she is, she doesn't deserve you. I couldn’t help but turn around and see her smile sadly at me before walking to another customer at the bar.

Hanging my head, I took a deep cleansing breath and walked back to the bar. You know, on second thought how about I take you out to dinner tomorrow? The words were out before I even knew what happened. I didn’t regret them though. I needed to move on. I had been hanging onto Marcy for too long, and it was time to let go.

Sure, Heather said with a bright smile. Pick me up here at seven?

See you then.

three

marcy

I was fucking terrified. We were leaving the next day to go to California, and I had no idea what to expect. Johnny had barely said two words to me in weeks and Ma was no help at all. Every time I saw her she shook her head at me. I knew I was wrong, and I was paying for every bit of it, so I called the only person who knew the whole story.

What's happening chicka-dee?

He knows, I said shortly.

The soft gasp on the other end of the line was the only indication that she heard me. Which one? she asked with trepidation in her voice.

Both.

Wow, how did they take it?

I got up from the couch and started pacing. I knew Casey understood, since she was inadvertently the reason for the whole mess in the first place. We became fast friends about nine years before when we met at the park. Our kids became best friends over the years as well.

How are you feeling? she asked me, and I could hear the emotion in her voice.

Like shit.

Well that's obvious. What happened?

I can't really talk about most of it. Let's just say I let him get too close. He found out about Johnny, and I haven't heard from him since.

Well, I’m not going to sugarcoat it for you, babe. What you did was wrong. I have known Mac for a long time. He is an amazing man and I believe he will eventually get over this. You broke him last time, Marcy.

I sighed. I knew it was the truth. But, that whole thing broke me too.

You of all people know what that did to me.

Yeah, hun. I do know. I'm just saying maybe you need to give him some time. He will eventually forgive you, I'm sure. It just might take awhile. What happened with Johnny?

He refuses to talk to me. It's killing me. I continued my pacing.

What did you tell him?

That we were going to California for Christmas, and that his father would be there. First, he got mad because I had been seeing him, then he was furious when he found out I only just told Tim he even existed.

He will get over it. He's a great kid who loves his mom more than anything.

Yeah, I guess. But, what if he decides he wants to go live with his dad? I stopped pacing to slump against the wall. We leave for LA tomorrow.

Oh sweetie, you know what you will do. Most of your work is in LA now anyway. Don't stress on it. It will all work out.

I guess.

I have to go pick up Izzy from cheerleading.

Okay, talk to you later.

***

The next morning we got up early, and my amazing son was packed and ready to go early. You ready, buddy? I asked as we left the house.

Yeah. His reply was curt.

I took a deep breath before starting the car, knowing today was the first step to my life-altering forever. Okayyy then.

The flight was long and I was exhausted by the time we cross the country and landed in LAX. Griffin, Kaylee, and the kids met us at the airport, but there was no sign of Mac. I guess he wasn't ready yet.

Hey Griffin, Kaylee. It's good to see you guys again. This is Johnny, my son.

Hey Marcy. Kaylee shot me a sad smile and hugged me. It's very nice to meet you Johnny. This is Leanne and Lance.

Johnny, so unlike his current manner with me, looked them in the eye when he spoke. Hi, it's nice to meet you.

Hi, Leanne said shyly.

I smiled at that; they were cute kids. It was hard not to notice the blush run over Johnny’s cheeks, and I shot Kaylee a knowing smile. Griffin rolled his eyes.

The ride back to their building was a long one, and I was completely in my head. Every other time I had gone out to LA Mac had been there to greet me. It was a kick in the gut that he hadn't wanted to come and meet his son at the airport. But really, what was I expecting?

Johnny was sitting next to Leanne, talking about some computer game they were both into. I was so glad he was acting kindly with everyone…else. He understandably still wouldn't talk to me, but at least he wasn't brooding—it was an improvement.

We decided to put you up in the suite next to ours, if that's okay with you, Griffin said and looked at me through the rearview mirror before exiting his SUV in the parking garage.

Absolutely, that would be perfect. Thank you.

Once we reached our floor, we said a quick goodbye to Kaylee and Lance, who needed his afternoon nap. I had a strong suspicion Kaylee was going to cuddle in with her boy as well. She looked radiant in her sixth month of pregnancy, but it was easy to see the exhaustion starting to take over.

The rest of us walked further down the long corridor until reaching the next suite. As soon as we got inside, Leanne took Johnny into the play room to show him all the crazy stuff Griffin had supplied his step-kids with. I was so happy to see Leanne’s calm demeanor. Since the kidnapping few months back, it appeared she had made tremendous strides.

After the kids raced down the hall, I looked over to Griffin. She seems good. How are they both holding up?

They are doing better. Lance still has nightmares most nights, but Lee-Lee is coping better. We were finally able to take Justin off of babysitting duty. I can’t imagine why he no longer wanted to trail my stepdaughter to school every day, he teased.

Yeah, can’t imagine why Griff. I smirked back at him. Justin was one of Griff’s newer hires. This company GTT was one of the top security firms in the country, boasting employees with almost every facet of military experience.

How are you holding up?

The truth?

No, Pix, I want you to lie to me. Ugh, that nickname was going to be written on my tombstone if these men had anything to do with it.

I've been better, I replied evasively.

"Cut the crap. I