Reality Check (Texas Desires - Vol. 3): Texas Desires, #3

Texas Desires: Vol. 3 – Reality Check

Jamie is a true cowgirl, big and beautiful. She’s also a woman who had her heart broken by the one man she thought would love her forever. Mason was everything she wanted, but he left her when she was most vulnerable, and she has been trying to pick up the pieces ever since.

Now, her two worlds have collided. Mason knows about Austin and Austin knows about Mason. Jaime realizes she has to follow her heart and choose only one, but some things are easier said than done. After some time spent with both men and a few secrets being revealed, Jaime has almost made up her mind.

That is, until she receives a text. A short little message that could change her world completely...

Note: Parts of Texas Desires were previously published as Cowboy Desires.

Also includes Sneak Peeks at some upcoming novels!

~Vol. 3 – Reality Strikes~

I knew this would happen eventually, but I wasn’t expecting it so soon. When Mason said he would give me time, I didn’t think that meant showing up at my house the next day unannounced with flowers. And I hadn’t even told Austin that Mason was back or that he had been at my house begging for my forgiveness.  

Now the two men that I cared about and couldn’t choose between were going to meet, and I was shaking from worry about the unknown. Would Mason be able to tell that Austin and I had just had sex? Would he feel betrayed because I had just been with him the night before? What would Austin say to Mason after all the things I had shared with him? He saved me when I had pulled over on the side of the road and sobbed until I could barely breathe. It wasn’t going to be pretty, but I had no choice but to deal with this right now.

I got out of the truck on my own instead of waiting for Austin this time. I immediately walked over to the steps to talk to Mason. Austin got out after me and followed me to where Mason sat.

Hi Mason. I didn’t expect to see you here.

His angry expression didn’t soften at all.

Jamie, who the hell is this guy? Where have you been? I’ve been waiting here for you for over an hour.

His tone was full of annoyance, and his free fist was clenched. I had seen this look before. It was hard to talk him down when he was this high on adrenaline and anger.

This is Austin, and we were out on a date to the lake. I didn’t know you were planning to stop by.

By this time, Austin had made his way to my side and was hovering over me protectively.

"That’s me. Austin. Nice to meet you, Mason. I’ve heard so much about you."

He was so sarcastic when he said this that I cringed. That was not going to go over well.

Yeah, well, I’ve barely heard anything about you. You can’t mean that much to her. You must know that Jamie and I have been in love for a long time.

I also know that you broke her heart and deserted her. I’m here, ready and willing, to pick up the pieces. I’m gonna make her so happy that she’ll just forget about you. I’m gonna make her feel loved again. She does nothing but smile when she’s with me.

Mason dropped the flowers on the steps and stood up.

The two men that I cared about stood almost face to face with me in between them. They both towered over me, so if they decided to fight, I was out of luck. This couldn’t be pretty. When you put two men together that both want the same woman, it was a battle of who was stronger, smarter, richer, and a better lover. I had felt and tasted what they both had to offer, and they were equally talented in their own ways. I had never wanted it to come to this, however.

I had loved Mason for so long, but he had only showed me that he would run when times got tough. Austin had already spoiled me and showed me what a life with him could be like, but he also had another woman in his life that would never go away because of their child.

You don’t know shit about what really happened! Don’t you dare stand here and judge me for something I did. She’s only known you for a couple of days, so I guarantee you have some secrets. If she wants to be blind to them, then I will find them out. I’m not letting her go, man.

As much as I loved to hear him say this, I was not ready to just fall back into his arms. And I wasn’t ready to walk away from Austin, either. He made me feel alive after over a year of feeling dead inside. That was something special that I couldn’t just turn my back on.

Well, I’m not giving her up. I just met her, but she already has a hold on my heart. How you were stupid enough to walk away from her is beyond me. You must have some serious issues to work through. I’m not leaving unless she tells me it’s over.

I knew it was time for me to speak up.

Alright, you can both stop right now. I didn’t expect to have either one of you in my life, and I’m all confused. Mason, I love you for everything we shared. Austin, you have helped me start to heal and made me feel happy again. I care about you both very much, and I don’t think I can tell either one of you to walk away right now. If you can’t handle this, then you know you can go at any time. I need time to figure out what I want. It’s not fair to any of us, but it’s the truth, and it’s the way it has to be.

They were both still standing tall with their eyes fixed on each other. Neither one was backing down.

Jamie, I’m never leaving you again. I want you back. I want to marry you and start our family. I was so fucking stupid, but now I’m begging for you. I know better now. You are the only one for me. Please say you’ll be with me.

Mason’s eyes finally left Austin and focused on me, and I could see the desperation in them. My attention was quickly shifted to Austin when he spoke up and placed a hand gently on my arm.

Jamie, I know we don’t have a history. We’ve only had three days. But I would be an idiot if I gave up now. What we shared on the lake today was amazing. I want to know you. Please give me a chance to show you that I am the man who can make you happy.

He looked so sincere, but I didn’t have long to think about it before Mason was around me and chest to chest with Austin.

Don’t fucking touch her! She’s mine and you need to just walk away. I will mess you up if you touch her in front of me again! You have no right to be here!

The hell I don’t, boy! I have more of a right than you do since you left her. You fucked up! You made her cry! All I’ve done is make her smile. I’m ready to fight for her if I have to, but I suggest you take a step back before I make you do it!

As soon as his last words came out, Mason reached out and shoved Austin across the lawn. Austin recovered quickly and came barreling at him. They were on the ground, and Austin punched Mason in the face.

I ran to them, trying to pry them off each other. Mason turned them over and landed a blow to Austin’s left eye. I had had enough, so I started screaming as I attempted to pull Mason off of Austin.

Stop! Stop fighting! This is ridiculous! The neighbors are gonna call the cops! Will you two act like grown men before I send you both packing?

This seemed to get their attention, so the next time I pulled on Mason’s shoulders, he backed away. There was blood coming from his lip, and Austin’s eye was already swelling. They were both out of breath and shaking with rage. I couldn’t believe it had come to blows this quickly.

You both need to leave. Right now. I’m so angry with both of you for letting it get that far. I don’t want you fighting over me. I know this is partly my fault because I didn’t tell Austin that you were back, but how was I supposed to know that you wouldn’t just leave again, Mason? And Mason, I have every right to date Austin if I want. We weren’t just on a break. You left. For more than a year! I need to some time to sort through all of this, and I hope you can both give that to me. You can contact me on the phone, but I’m not making any promises to see either one of you. Please don’t show up here unannounced.

I was shaking as I said this because I was still upset from watching them fight. I also had tears of frustration in my eyes. Austin finally broke the silence.

Fine. I’ll go. But I’m not giving up. Not even close. Thank you for a wonderful time today, and for my souvenir. I’ll be in touch, beautiful.

He leaned in and kissed me softly on the lips and walked to his truck without looking back. Mason gave him a look that screamed hatred and jealousy. As soon as his truck was out of sight, Mason had his turn to speak.

I can’t believe you just let him kiss you in front of me. I have never felt so crushed by you. Why didn’t you just tell him that you want to be with me?

The look on his face had changed from anger to hurt.

I already explained that. I can’t trust you with my heart yet. I would be a fool to just fall back into your arms like nothing ever happened. And Austin deserves a chance. He started seeing me before I had any idea you were coming back. I like him. I can’t just let that go.

I know I fucked up. I fucked up so badly. But I can’t live without you. No other woman will ever mean half of what you do to me. I was scared and sad, so I left, and I can’t ever tell you I’m sorry enough. I should have stayed and held you in my arms. I should have been the one to put all of your pieces back together, but I couldn’t even do it for myself. I wanted her so bad, you know. I wanted you both more than anything.

Tears had formed in his eyes again, and they were already falling down my face.

"I wanted her, too. But you should have stayed. I don’t know if my heart will ever be ready for another round with you, Mason. I still love you so much, but I don’t know what will happen to us. You need to let me figure it out on my own.

I know, but it’s so hard to stay away. I love you so much. But I will try. You deserve to have everything you want. I’ll go, but I’ll be calling and texting you. And I’m always here if you need me.

He leaned in for a kiss, but his was deeper and lingered a bit longer than Austin’s had. It was full of sadness, longing, and passion, and it was hard for me to pull away. I could taste a hint of blood from where Austin had hit him.

When he broke the kiss, he made his way out onto the street and into his truck. When he fired it up and put it in drive, he looked at me and waved. I could see that his face was wet with tears. My heart broke a little, and I wanted to call him back, but I stopped myself. It wouldn’t be fair to either one of us.

When he was gone, I made my way into the house slowly. I went to my room and changed into pajama shorts and a tank top and put some underwear on. Mason would have really flipped if he knew exactly what the souvenir that Austin had was. As I was heading back downstairs, my phone rang.

Hello?

Jamie, I’m out front. I drove by a few minutes ago, and I swear I saw Mason’s truck. Was he there again?

It was my sister Erin. Of course she had driven by at the right moment to see Mason’s truck.

Yes, it was his truck. Just showed up here unannounced. He was here again when I got back from my date at the lake with Austin.

Shit! I bet that went over well.

It ended with the two of them rolling around on the ground. One walked away with a black eye and one with a bloody lip. I told them they both had to leave because I wasn’t ready to choose.

You filthy skank! Now you have men fighting over you? You must feel like hot shit right now.

She was snickering on the other end of the line. She told me she was hanging up and coming in to my place to talk about it before I even had a chance to reply. She was in the house before I even got into the living room.

I absolutely do not feel like hot shit. I feel awful. I feel torn. I go from being completely alone for over a year to having two men rolling around on the ground fighting over me. It is not as great as it sounds. I have no idea what the hell I’m gonna do!

I plopped down on the couch as Erin disappeared into my kitchen. She returned with a half-gallon of cookie dough ice cream and two spoons.

Well, problems like this require lots of ice cream and a great big sister. I have to live vicariously through you since I’m taken. So what are you gonna do now?

I’m going to concentrate on work and getting myself to a good place. I’m going to choose when each of them gets to see me. I’m going to figure this out on my terms. When one of them messes up, I’ll know that he isn’t the one for me.

But that’s not really fair, Jamie. You can’t punish a guy for messing up once. Especially if it’s only a little mistake. You need to think really hard about which one of them you can trust. Which one of them can make you happy for the rest of your life? Which one can you walk away from without any doubts or regrets?

That’s easier said than done. I have no idea how I will make that decision. I just need time. Mason needs to work for my trust, and Austin needs to win my heart. Whoever can accomplish those tasks is the right one for me.

We sat there and talked, eating the ice cream until it was gone. She always knew exactly what to say to make me think and make me laugh. I was so lucky to have her. At about 7:00, she headed out to go home to her boyfriend, Dave. I did some cleaning around the house since I hadn’t been home much that weekend. I did all my laundry, loaded the dishwasher, and vacuumed every room. It kept my mind off of the things I didn’t want to think about.

Since I had to get up early and write the next morning, I headed to bed around 9:00. I turned on my favorite Sunday night shows in my bedroom. When I finally settled in for the night, I checked my cell phone. There were eight text messages waiting for me. Five of them were from Mason and three were from Austin. Mason’s made me upset again as soon as I read the first one.

Baby, please don’t be mad at me. You are everything to me, and I can’t stand the sight of another man loving you. I love you with everything I am.

Jamie, there wasn’t a second that went by when I was gone that I wasn’t thinking of you and the baby. I wanted the life we were getting ready to have so much. I didn’t know I wanted to be a father until I met you.

I’m sitting here looking at old pictures of us and reading notes you wrote to me. Remember the night we went to the drive-in and did everything but watch the movie? I remember every moment.

I can barely breathe when I think about losing you. Please give me a chance to show you that I can give you what you need.

Well, I don’t want to bug you anymore tonight. I hope you have a great night, baby. Wish I was there with my arms around you. I love you a million times more than you could ever imagine.

I did remember everything he was talking about. I still had everything he had ever given me in a box in my closet. I couldn’t count the number of times I had pulled them out to comfort myself after he left. I had some of his shirts and I cried for hours the day I realized that his smell was completely gone from them. I had longed for him nearly every single day, whether I wanted to admit it to myself or not.

I read Austin’s next, and was met with just as much angst.

Jamie, I’m so sorry I acted like less than a gentleman this afternoon. I should never have let my temper get the best of me, especially in front of you. He just makes me so damn mad because he thinks he owns you even after all he did.

Baby, I’m here in my bed, and it still smells like you. I hope that someday I can get you to come back here and let me hold you. You deserve to be happy and feel loved.

I guess you’re not gonna answer me tonight, and that’s ok. I am thinking of you constantly and hoping to hear from you soon. You’re a special girl, and I’ll never stop trying to win your heart.

They had both kept their promises of staying in touch and trying to prove themselves to me. I decided to send them each a simple good night text and leave it at that. I couldn’t trust myself to not write very emotional messages that I would regret in the morning. I turned my phone off and drifted off to sleep while watching a movie.

I woke with a start and it was still dark out. I was covered in sweat and out of breath. The nightmare was too much for me to handle, and I wished I wasn’t alone. I was back in that hospital bed, losing her all over again. I was curled up in a ball, feeling every pain and wishing so much that it would stop. Mason was standing there, paler than I had ever seen him. He was crying silently, but he wasn’t trying to comfort me. He was just sitting there while she was slipping away. But in the nightmare, she was born full-term, and I got to see her face. She wasn’t breathing, and I was screaming, begging someone to help. But no one came. No one helped. Mason looked at both of us and walked out of the room.

The dream had been too real, and I couldn’t process what I had seen. I was shaking so badly and crying so hard. I didn’t want to be alone. I picked up my phone and sent a text.

Please come. I’m scared. I can’t be alone.

I set my phone back on the nightstand and curled into a ball. I was taking deep breaths and trying to calm down, but I couldn’t stop seeing her face. She was supposed to be mine. I should have never lost my beautiful baby girl. She would be a toddler by now, running around my house. I would have picked the perfect name for her and loved her more than anything else. But I never got the chance.

It seemed like hours before I heard someone coming up the stairs to my room. I didn’t turn over to look, but I felt familiar arms around me.

It’s okay, baby. What happened? Are you hurt? You’re freezing and shaking.

This same voice had comforted me so many times before. Even though he had brought me the most hurt, he was all I wanted in this moment. He was the only one who could even begin to understand the immense loss I was feeling.

The dream was so real. I was back in the hospital, and you were there. But you wouldn’t help me. You just stood there and let it happen. I begged for you, but you never budged. Then she was born, and she was a regular baby. But she wasn’t breathing. And no one came. I just held her and screamed and cried. It was so real. I saw her perfect face. I saw our daughter.

I was sobbing again, and he sat up and pulled me between his legs. His long arms wrapped around me, and he had me resting against his chest, running his fingers through my hair.

"I’m so sorry, baby. It was just a dream, but I know it is all