The Seasonal Ebb and Flow of Life
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The Seasonal Ebb and Flow of Life - M. Duane Mongerson
life.
An Introduction to the Seasonal Ebb and Flow of Life
Within each of Mother Nature’s four seasons, there appears to be a unique ebb and flow to life. This seasonal ebb and flow is reflected upon in terms of the basic needs, values and aspirations of the individual as he or she attempts to cope with the predictable changes in life.
In the last few centuries, many authors, scholars, poets and philosophers have attempted to describe the meaning of the ebb and flow of life in their own way. While on his honeymoon in 1851, Matthew Arnold wrote a beautiful, yet haunting poem titled, Dover Beach.
With his bride at his side, he described the cliffs of Dover, England as glimmering and vast,
the night air as sweet
and the waves as carrying the eternal note of sadness in.
These conditions seemed to remind Arnold of what he referred to as the turbid ebb and flow of human misery.
In the last stanza of the poem, he makes a very candid observation of life.
Ah,love, let us be true
To one another!
For the world, which seems
To lie before us like a land of dreams
So various, so beautiful, so new
Hath really neither joy, nor love, nor light,
Nor certitude, nor peace, nor help for pain;
And we are here as on a darkening plain
Swept with confused alarms of struggle and flight,
Where ignorant armies clash by night.
More than 160 years later, has Arnold described our contemporary life, in which tenderness has lost its way? In the United States, we have made tremendous technological advances which allow most of us an adequate standard of living, which in turn provides us with the time, if we so choose, to reflect upon where we are and where we are going.
In recent decades, writers from various professions, including physicians William Nolan and Elisabeth Kubler-Ross; psychologists Erich Fromm and Abraham Maslow; and authors Ayn Rand, Gail Sheehy, Jane Fonda, Laura Schlessinger and Ruth K. Westheimer, have all alluded to these crucial periods in life that humans encounter as we interact within a society, and grow, mature and age. In this book, I build upon my observations of life by incorporating both my personal knowledge and my vicarious experiences of life in three main sections of this book. In essence, I describe the seasonal transitions of life from the womb to the tomb
or Pampers to Depends.
In Season I, The Springtime of Life,
childhood, the spirited teenager and early adult years are described. Going through puberty, leaving the family cocoon, selecting a career, looking for love and facing commitment in the Age of Aquarius
are presented.
Within Seasons II and III, The Summer to Autumn Transformation,
the often painful phase of female menopause, and male man-o-pause,
is discussed. The experience of men and women facing some version of the classic midlife crisis is discussed. The aging process and its effect on the body, the inevitable emotional mood swings which make a person appear on edge or behave impatiently with his or her spouse, children, friends or co-workers; and the various, sometime infuriating ways in which individuals deal with these crises. Or my longtime partner and love succinctly says, I simply don’t have any patience for idiots, incompetent people and stupidity anymore.
The person in crisis may attempt to escape reality by using drugs, alcohol, or religion, or by seeking relief through sexual encounters with different partners. Such actions frequently result in divorce or at minimum, a dysfunctional marriage.
In Season IV, The Winter to Eternity,
the focus is upon Golden Agers facing retirement, enjoying the twilight years, entering nursing homes, coming to terms with death and hoping for a life in the hereafter.
SEASON I
The Springtime of Life
The Springtime of Life
With the coming of spring, buds burst forth while warm sunrays dance across bedroom walls as birds chirp to the newness of the day! Springtime gives hope to restless youth’s search for illusive oneness, wisdom and patience. Few are able to harvest these fruits until the aging process is tempered by the joys and sorrows of human existence.
—N. GANNON-MONGERSON
Each of us is a unique product of what is written in the genes (DNA). Our parents have given each of us a different set of capabilities, talents and potentialities. If environmental factors such as poor diets, toxic substances, drugs, alcohol, diseases or physical injuries, do not inhibit our physical, emotional and mental development, then each of us should have the opportunity to develop our true potential. Damn few of us are able to do this because of the unpredictable ebb and flow of life.
From the Womb to Puberty
We are all pieces of a jigsaw puzzle and only G_d knows what it will look like in the end.
—T. LUTZ
At conception, things such as gender, skin color, eye color, height, sexual organs, and bone structure are predetermined. Some people believe that we inherit our emotional traits and our ability to think intelligently. Environmental conditions have been shown to have a major effect on how one becomes all that they are capable of being. It is possible to raise the IQ of an average child by 10 to 20 points over a period of years if a very intensive program of studies is designed for the young person. Success requires that the parents, the school and the child work together towards achieving this goal. However, if the school system is poor and the parents could care less, the chances of this child successfully completing high school or raising their IQ are far less remote.
Even in the womb, the fetus can be affected by the mother’s emotional state of being and quality of her diet. If the mother uses drugs, alcohol or nicotine in excess, she runs the risk of having an unhealthy or possibly deformed baby. Nearly one in five newborns will have some abnormal defect that will haunt them physically, emotionally or mentally during their lifetime (United States Census Bureau, 2012).
Newborn infants are extremely dependent upon others for satisfaction of the basic needs in terms of milk, juice, water, warmth and coolness. Oral gratification is of primary importance to the newborn infant as he or she eagerly reacts to the mother’s breast or to the nipple of a milk bottle. While the infant enjoys the discovering of each finger and toe, he or she can also respond to sounds, touch, and sweet or sour tastes. The social expressions of the little one are priceless. It is amazing that infants can sense whether or not you, as a caregiver, have a friendly, warm and loving manner toward them. You can be a total stranger and the infant will accept you if he or she is not threatened by you.
As the infant enters the second and third year of the springtime of life, he or she has learned to crawl, walk and run. The child has been toilet trained and can communicate with others. Freud has observed that the child moves from the oral stage
(sucking) to another sensual experience called the anal stage.
This earthy stage is represented by the passing of bodily wastes from the anal and urethral areas. For some reason, the anal stage is not limited to a youngster. As an adult you might enter a men’s restroom in a bar, at the races, at a football game, etc. and sometimes hear one of the following statements: This is the pause that refreshes!
or Damn, do that feel good!
Parents with young children frequently feel guilty because they must choose whether to put their family or themselves first. Sometimes both parents work just to pay the monthly bills. Inherent within this situation is the danger of taking away the joy of raising your little one while leaving us with overwhelming guilt and the stress of hard work. Since guilt can be one of the most destructive of all emotions, we should strive to guard against it and attempt to identify positive actions that will benefit our children and ourselves. If your child is afraid of the dark at bedtime,