Mastering Success!: Success Skills Series, #2

By

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David Peters

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For

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The Entrepreneur Skills Institute

All rights Reserved – 2015 – The Entrepreneur Skills Institute

Disclaimer

The information provided in this [publication is designed as an informational resource only. Everyone is different and everyone’s situation is different as well. This means it is impossible for there to be one approach to success that will work for everyone. Therefore it is the responsibility of the reader to evaluate and determine which parts, if any, of this book are relevant and appropriate for their particular situation or objective. The writers, producers, distributors and resellers of this book do not assume any responsibility for the information contained in any or all parts of this publication for these reasons.

A Note from the Author

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Life is too short to spend it living in a lifestyle that is not rewarding or fulfilling. Too many people are doing just that today. It is my hope that you will read this book and take from it information that will help you create a personal lifestyle that is everything you want it to be.

While I was preparing the outline for this book, I looked back at all the experiences that I had and what I had learned from each of them. It was amazing how the same mistakes were made over and over again! I also realized that there were many things around me that were actually pulling me in the wrong direction. The problem was that I did not realize that at that time.

I also looked back at the many seminars and classes I had taken over the years. (I have taken more team training classes than any human should!) Looking back now, I now realize that no one actually shared HOW to develop a rewarding lifestyle. Every class told you what others expected of you but not how to find out what was right for you.

This book is written in a very easy to read style. It can be understood by anyone. Although it is best to start at the beginning and read it from cover to cover, you can also go to the chapters you want and read them in any order you wish. You will see that some information is repeated more than once throughout the book. This is because this is critical information that may have more than one application.

You will get the best results from this book if you can read it in a quiet environment that is mostly free of distractions. Don’t rush through it. Take your time and stop and think about what you have read and how you can apply it in your own situation. This is not speed-reading test to see who can finish first. Take your time and digest the materials. If you have to, read chapters several times.

Thinking about the concepts in this book is where you will get the most benefit. This entire book is designed and built around the idea of thinking about what you read and adopting it to your own situation. Taking the time to do that now will save you time, effort, and money later.

Good Luck!

Introduction

Most of us are taught to do our best and good things will come to us. We are educated in school on how to add, subtract, understand our language, and are taught the history of our country and the world around us. We are taught science and technology and how to prepare ourselves for a career. All of these skills are important yet they are not enough to prepare you for what lies ahead.

Life has changed dramatically over the last several decades. Technology has brought us things that were not even dreamed of just 30 years ago. Think of it, 30 years ago we had records that were 12 inches in diameter and contained 12 songs. Today, we have digital jukeboxes about the size of a pack of cigarettes that can hold and play back over 7,000 songs! Advances in medicine have increased our life span and made it more comfortable to live through that lifespan.

These changes have also brought new challenges to our lives. It is how we look at these changes that will determine what we make of the time that we spend on this planet. While it is true that life is more difficult now in many respects, it is also truthful to say that there are more opportunities available to us now than every before!

What we need to do is learn how to make the most out of the opportunities that are available to us. There are two types of opportunities those that are thrust upon us and those that we make available to us through our efforts. It is this combination of opportunities that create success for us in our daily lives. We need to make the very best out of the opportunities that come our way.

The truth is, no one has ever bothered to show us the way to accomplish this task. No one taught us in school how to make the most out of an opportunity. We were taught generic skills in grade school and career specific skills in college or technical school. At no time have we been taught how to create a proper life plan that will help us achieve our objectives!

This process need not be difficult. In fact, it is just the opposite. When done correctly, it can be a fun and thrilling process. It may surprise you to know that you need not possess special skills and do not have to be in the top 10% of your class to achieve your goals! All you need is the ability to read and understand some basic concepts and the ability and desire to be totally honest with yourself throughout the process. If you can do that, you will be successful!

To have the best chance for success, you need to create an environment that is going to guide you towards your goals. The more you are guided by a successful environment, the better chances you will have of success.

Have you ever seen or heard a tornado? The power contained within a tornado is far greater than the power that was contained by each factor that helped create it. Individually, each storm or wind current is not very powerful. When you combine them, they each contribute their power to create a single storm far more powerful than they were. That is what we are going to show you how to create in your life.

We will show you how to create an environment where many factors will combine to create situations that will rocket you towards your goals! This environment will discourage actions that might have sabotaged you in the past.  This process is like building a model kit. Each piece is crafted towards achieving a final goal. You already have the pieces. We are going to show you how to put them all together!

We are going to show you how to build a Blueprint to Success! The first few chapters of this book are called Overview Chapters. These chapters are designed to give you overviews of certain topics and get you to start thinking about them and how they apply to your life. These chapters are not detailed and everything they contain will be explained in detail throughout the book. Read these chapters carefully. Read them more than once if you have the time. They are designed to get your mind thinking. When you start thinking, that’s when things start to happen!

Our keys to success will give you the main target areas that affect success and how they apply to you. Read each of these carefully. Some may apply to you while others may not. Whatever applies to you read carefully. Read it two or three times if you must but read and understand it.

Now, let’s start forming your Blueprint to Success!

A Message to the Reader

Today there are more challenges facing you than at any other time in history. Don’t let that get you discouraged because there are also far more opportunities available to everyone than ever before. In fact, there has never been a better time to take advantage of things and create a better lifestyle for your self and your family.

We have written this book to help you each step of the way. There are many factors that may keep you from your goals and we wanted you to be aware of those factors and how you can get around them. Other things are just issues of awareness. Once you are aware of them, you can easily understand them and deal with them effectively and easily.

We have also written this book so it can be easily understood by anyone. There are a great many people who can benefit from the information in this book and we wanted to make sure that it was written in such a way that everyone could make use of it.

Parents, the information in this book can help you in your own life but also help you in your children’s life, too. Have them read this book, too. Only if it is just the chapters they want to read, there is information here that can get them started ion the right direction. One of the most difficult tasks is shedding bad habits. If we can get our children started without these bad habits, they just might become far more successful in their lives. That would make us all very happy.

Children and students, this book will help you understand a whole new world out there that you haven’t experienced as yet. Take the time to read this book and grasp the principles we outline in these pages. While you might not agree with all of them, they are worthwhile to understand and may help you in starting your career. I know it’s difficult listening to people try and tell you what to do but sometimes you can learn from other people’s experiences and mistakes and save yourself a lot of time and money. With this in mind, take some time and read this book.

For those entering the job market for the first time, or for those re-entering after a lengthy absence, this book will help you learn how to present yourself in the right way and make the most of the skills that you have. You will also learn what you need to do to prepare yourself for interviews and the challenges that lie ahead. While entering the job market may be frightening to you, the information in these pages can and will help you.

Lastly, for those of you looking to better yourself, starting a new career, or just want to make changes in your own lives, we salute you. Realizing that you can make these changes is the first step in one of the most fascinating and rewarding exercises you will ever do. The information in these pages can help ANYONE achieve their goals. We hope that you will take the time to read this book and implement the techniques and principles contained in these pages. It will save you time, money, and effort.

Some, if not most, of what we will discuss in these pages is common sense. Despite this, most people were never taught this in school or by their parents. The process is not hard. In fact, I do not believe there is anyone who cannot complete this process and make significant and powerful changes in their lives.

YOU are in control of what happens next in your life. YOU have the power to change what it is that you don’t like and replace with something that is fulfilling, rewarding, and right for you. When you finish the journey you will have a lifestyle that is close to what YOU want it to be. You will understand the things that are important to you and will have learned how to implement them in your life. In short, you will be leading the life that YOU want to lead.

And that, my friends, is as close a definition of success as you can get!

Most people say:

Be true to who you are.

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We say:

"Be true to who you really

want to be!"

First & Foremost, It Starts With YOU!

Perhaps the most important information or concept in this book is the very first one. While there are many aspects to becoming successful they all come back to one central theme. They all come back to you.

Everyone is different and everyone’s situation is different as well. We all come into this world with different parents and different towns and families. Some of these aspects of our lives will serve us well while other parts might attempt to hold us back or place obstacles in our path.

That is part of life and these things can help make our lives easier or more difficult. But while that is a fact of life, there is one important thing that you must learn and agree with if you truly wish to become successful. That one important thing is:

Life events can influence us but they do not define us!

Just because you happen to grow up in a difficult environment does not mean you have to succumb to that environment. Yes, life will be more difficult for you than it might be for others but you can work your way out of it. You do not have to look at tough breaks or obstacles life p[laces in your path and feel you are destined to failure.

There are people who grew up is horrible neighborhoods who managed to make it through school, attend college and become successful human beings. There are people who grew up in abusive families and grew up to be loving mothers and father. And there have been people who were born with or developed significant disabilities who found up overcoming them and accomplishing more than everyone ever expected them to do.

All you need to become successful is a belief in yourself and your right to achieve that success. You have to feel you are worthy of it and that you are capable of achieving that success if you work hard enough.

You might have heard the expression If life gives you lemons then just make lemonade and that is what we are saying to you right now. Take whatever life throws at you, or has already thrown at you and use it as motivation.

You deserve the best in your life and you have to believe that it can be yours if you work hard enough for it. While life isn’t always fair, attitude and perseverance help level the playing field a lot more than most people realize. The world is full of these success stories and yours can be one of those if you want it badly enough.

This book is going to give you a ton of information and ways to get more of what you want out of life. It is going to help you create the life YOU want and it is going to show you how to do it in the way that is right for you as well.

This book will do a lot of you but it will not give you two important things. Those two things only you can create. They must come from within and those two things, more than any other things in life will help define who you are.

The first thing is the proper attitude. If you have the attitude that you can succeed and your attitude is such that you understand that you need to do whatever it takes to become successful, you will be successful. I have no doubts about that at all.

Attitudes can either create or conquer roadblocks. Attitudes can either lead to defeat or persevere to success. Attitudes can help sustain you when things get tough or allow you to quit. It is up to you to create the right attitude. We will show you how and why you need to do this but you have to do it. It cannot be created for you.

The second thing you need to do is convince yourself that you are worthy of the best in life. Many people grow up being told they are useless or worthless or that they are not deserving of anything good in life. They are constantly being told to accept what life gives them and to be thankful for what they have and leave it at that.

And that is 100%, pure, crap. It is BS! It is utter nonsense! But yet a lot of people sometimes hear it so often that they come to believe it and accept it.

But I am here right now to tell you that you do deserve it. If you do what needs to be done and work hard and do things the right way you DO deserve it and don’t let anyone tell you different. The only voice you should be listening to is your voice. Only you can decide whether to try or sit back. It is up to you.

A lot of people these days feel that life, and the government owe them something. They suffer from what I call the entitlement virus and that can be a really deadly virus as far as life is concerned. That is because as soon as you think you are entitled to something you begin to think you should get it for free without working for it.

That is where a lot of people go wrong.

But entitlement is also an attitude and it is an attitude that you can quickly kick to the curb whenever you want to. There are a lot of things available to all of us whenever we want them as long as we are willing to work for them. It is when we demand them without working for them that leads to trouble.

But how you think and how you look at your life and your worth are the most important things you need to move forward. You can do this and you can become successful. You can have the greatest things in life as you define them as long as you have the desire and the right attitudes behind you.

So before we get started, let’s take a moment to get our heads straight and understand the power we hold over our future and our success. Because with the right attitudes and commitment, there is nothing we cannot achieve!

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Overview 1

What IS Success?

If you were to ask 100 people what their own definition of success was, you would probably get 100 different answers. That is because everyone looks at life, and success, differently. To some, success may be earning a certain level of income while others may feel success is raising a well-adjusted family. Everyone’s definition of success is different.

Success for most people is not just achieving one goal or measuring just one part of their lives. Success is usually defined by taking several things into account. Some of these things are:

Money

Security

Balance

Fulfillment

Health

Lifestyle

Beliefs

Most, if not all, of these things are taken into consideration when they think of success. Let’s take a look at each one of these factors and how they may relate to one’s definition of success.

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Money

When we talk about success to people, one of the first things that pop into their minds is money. How much should a successful person earn? How much do you need to live in a lifestyle that you think you would like? How much money is required to achieve the goals that you set in front of you?

Money itself is not a prerequisite for successful people. There are many people in this world that have little, if any, money and yet are deemed successful both in their own minds and in the eyes of others. Missionary’s and volunteer workers are prime examples of this. They reap the rewards of helping others and that fulfills their definition of success. For these people, money has little meaning.

What money does offer you is the means to be able to purchase things to help you achieve your goals. For example, you might feel one of your goals is to provide a college education for each of your children. If you can do that, you would feel that you have been successful as a parent. In order to accomplish that goal, you would need money. Therefore, a certain level of money would be required to feel successful and be able to achieve your goals.

Money by itself does not insure success. There are plenty of rich people that are not happy and do not feel successful at all. What money does give you are options. Money gives you the ability to do more of what you want and less of what you don’t want. For example, if you hate mowing your lawn every week, money would let you hire a landscaper to do that for you. This would free up time for you to spend on other things. If you dislike cleaning your house, money allows you to hire a housekeeper. It is important for you to realize that money itself does not bring you happiness or success. It is what you do with the money that brings you these feelings.

Depending on your other feelings and goals, money may play a large or small role in your quest for success. Money has a direct effect on your lifestyle, health, and security. The need for money is a fact of life in most of our lives. It is important to make money part of our overall strategy but not allow it to be the driving force behind all of our efforts. We will go into money and it’s role in success later on.

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Security

One very important role in feeling successful for most people is security. Feeling secure is important because it can give you increased confidence and strength when making decisions.

Security is more than having enough money to live on for extended periods of time. Security is the knowledge that you are fairly well protected against certain things in your life. Security itself can take many forms.

You may feel secure in knowing that you have enough seniority in your current job so that being laid off is not a concern. This might mean that you are then able to take certain financial risks knowing that you are reasonably assured of having a job in the near future. If you did not feel secure in your job, this may make you less inclined to take certain risks, or make certain commitments, based on a lack of security.

One may also have the need to feel secure in his or her relationships. Being secure in a relationship means that there are little worry that the relationship may terminate or change in a dramatic fashion. This feeling of security is very common and exists in some way or form in everyone’s own mind. This is especially true in a marriage. In marriage, the relationship itself provides a safe haven that one can count on no matter how bad things may get in other areas of their lives. Feeling secure in always having that one person in your corner gives you added strength and support when things go wrong.

One of the most important feelings in successful people is that they feel secure in who they are as people. That security gives them power in decisions and the strength to go with their feelings and instincts. This kind of security comes from experiences that show you that you have what it takes to come out on top in certain situations. Look back in your life when you first started out in your first job. You had little experience and little knowledge. Your decisions were made with more than a little apprehension. You often sought validation and help from others. Over time, as you learned more and made more right decisions, your confidence level increased. As your confidence level increased, you made bigger and more important decisions and required less and less validation and assistance from others. That is because you became more secure in your abilities.

Balance

Balance is being able to take all the different parts of your life and make sure that each and every one is given the proper amount of attention and focus. This is where a lot of people make very critical mistakes.

In order to become successful you must be able to balance the various aspects of your life. You must not give total attention to one part and neglect the others. While you may have to do that for short periods of time, you cannot neglect the other areas of your life and expect to become successful.

One primary example of this is where someone becomes so wrapped up in their career or job that they neglect their spouse and family. They may be trying to build a business or get an important promotion to make things better for the family but they do not realize they are neglecting their family in the process! The end result of this is that the person may build a huge business or get a higher paying job, only to find out that their spouse has left them because they were made to feel unloved or unwanted.

Successful people realize the need for taking care of their whole life. Family, health, career and social life all play an important role in our lives. We cannot spend all out time on one area and neglect the others. Neglect family and eventually you will be all alone with no one to share your success. Neglect your health and you will live a drastically reduced quality of life. Neglect your social life and you will find yourself without friends and also have a high stress level.

It is important to have down time. Down time is time where you just relax and recharge your batteries after a long and rough week. You need to take time for yourself and learn how to listen to your mind and your body and take care of them. Make an effort to address each and every part of your life and make sure that you balance your efforts and time accordingly. The good thing is, once you start doing this, it becomes almost automatic.

Fulfillment

What makes you feel good inside? What makes all the effort worthwhile? What drives you to do something? The answer to all these questions is a feeling of fulfillment. A feeling of fulfillment is the driving force behind what you do and why you do it!

Some people get a good feeling from volunteering at a local hospital or food pantry. Others get it from coaching their kids in sports or getting involved at their schools. Some people get a huge kick out of solving a problem or building something with their hands. Inventors get a rush out of taking an abstract idea and turning it into reality!

We are all different and we all have different needs, emotions and desires. Different things fulfill us and make us who we are as a person. What one person absolutely loves, another may hate. That doesn’t make one person right and the other person wrong. It just means the two people are different.

Successful people find a way to take what fulfills them and then do as much of that as possible. Think about it. What better way to live your life than to live it doing what you love and being fulfilled by that every single day of your life? How many of us can say we are able to do that?

Many people spend 8 hours a day doing something they either don’t like or get any reward for doing it. For these people, their career is a 9 – 5 job that gives them little or no happiness. For others, they work at something they love and their career becomes a way of life and their passion! What group do you want to be in?

Make an effort to find out what makes you feel fulfilled. What gives you enjoyment? When you have discovered what this is, then figure out how you can rearrange your life so that you can do those things as much as possible. The funny thing is, when you do something you like, the extra effort required to become successful is easy to apply. You do things because you want to, not because you have to. Why do you think athletes often practice or play 10 hours a day when they are young? It’s not for the money at that age. They do it because they love to play the game. For them, it’s not work to practice, it’s fun. The extra work is a labor of love that takes them from good to great over time!

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Health

Our health is very important to us and must be considered a prime factor in anyone’s definition of success. Our state of health has an effect on our thinking, our feeling, and all of our mental processes. For us to function effectively, we must keep ourselves in good health.

When we talk about health we are talking about more than eating right and exercising. We are also talking about keeping ourselves mentally and emotionally healthy, too. Since there is a direct relationship between mental and physical well being, we must take steps to insure that we create a lifestyle that encourages us to keep healthy.

One very important factor in our physical and mental well-being is that we balance work and play and allow adequate time for each. We need downtime on a regular basis to enjoy the fruits of our labors while also needing time away from stressful work schedules.

A very common mistake people make is not taking care of themselves because they feel no symptoms. People do not go in for regular check-ups because they feel fine. Because of this, illnesses that could have been treated much more easily if caught early often turn into very serious medical problems. Always allow time to take care of yourself and your health.

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Emotional Needs

Our emotions play an important role in our lives. Along with our emotions comes needs and desires that must be properly addressed if we are to lead a quality lifestyle. As with other things, different people have different levels of emotions and different emotional responses.

Some people are overly emotional while others remain somewhat detached from what is going on around them. That is why you will see some people laugh and others cry at the same scene in a movie or play. These are different responses to the same situation. Neither response is wrong or right. It is just your individual response to a situation.

It is important that you take inventory of what you think is your emotional makeup and preferences. Understanding what you are and what you need is an important start to this process. By knowing what your needs are, you gain identify your goals and action plan accordingly. The end result will be a success plan that is emotionally satisfying and rewarding. It will be a plan that fits well with your emotional make-up and needs.

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Lifestyle

Our lifestyle is everything in our surroundings and thoughts. It includes our family, friends, home, job, interests, finances, etc. If you live in it or experience it, it’s in your lifestyle.

The most important thing to remember is that your lifestyle reflects how you live your life. If you have a problem, chances are your lifestyle supports that problem! For example, if your lifestyle does not give you access to junk food or fatty foods, chances are you are not overweight. If your lifestyle does not include access to alcohol, chances are you do not have a drinking problem.

We create a lifestyle for one of 4 reasons. First, many of us choose a lifestyle that is deemed appropriate by our peers. What that means is that we adopt a lifestyle that is the same as most everyone else. In these cases, we do this for acceptance and the desire to be average. While there is nothing wrong with this in some instances, we do run the risk of living a lifestyle that is not what we really want. It may also not be very fulfilling.

Second, some of us create a lifestyle based on what we feel will impress others. We may want to present a certain image to others and therefore create a lifestyle to suit that. The problem with this is that our personal reality may not support this type of lifestyle.

Third, many people discover what it is that is important and desirable to them and create a lifestyle to reflect that. While this lifestyle may not be what everyone else deems as normal, it reflects your true view on life and what is important to you. This type of lifestyle is what many successful people have developed.

Lastly, many people create a lifestyle based on their own abilities, resources, and reality. What happens is that the reality of the situation may not support what a person wants or needs at that time. Therefore, a compromise is met and an adjustment of their perfect lifestyle is made until circumstances change. For example, your passion and lifelong dream may include a home on the beach but your financial situation demands an apartment in town. Therefore, you take the apartment in town while working towards being able to purchase the home on the beach. There is nothing wrong with this approach. In fact, just about everyone has to take this approach when they start out in life. There is something to be said about this approach being the best in that it makes you appreciate things more because you know what it is like being without them.

I hope you can see at this point that feeling or being successful means a lot more than bringing home a huge paycheck each week. There are a lot of rich, yet unfulfilled, people out there. There also are a lot of poor, yet happy people, too!

You need to look at the whole picture when you think about your own life and what it is that you are looking for. Don’t take someone else’s definition of success and make it your own. Take care and time to craft your own, personalized definition and apply it in your life. You focus should not be on pleasing others but rather on doing what it is that you find satisfying and fulfilling in life. When you can accomplish this, you are well on your way towards success!

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Your Beliefs

Your beliefs are also an important part of you that must be acknowledged and taken into consideration. We all have beliefs. We have opinions and beliefs in what is right and wrong, good and bad, and moral or immoral. These feelings and beliefs are not necessarily right or wrong, they are just what we believe to be appropriate thoughts and feelings. These beliefs shape what we do and how we do it. They help shape our thoughts and reactions to all the experiences we encounter in our lifetimes.

We must create goals and action plans that align with these core beliefs. We cannot expect our minds and bodies to embrace ideas that go against what we believe deep down inside. We need to believe in what we are doing in order to maintain our focus and achieve our goals. We must also create goals that help us maintain our beliefs and strengthen them.

It is also important to realize that beliefs can and do change over time. As we continue to experience different things in life, our beliefs change. When we were young we believed in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. As we grew older and started to question things, our beliefs changed and these beliefs were shattered by reality. As our beliefs change, so do we.

For a great many of us believing in some form of a higher power or being might be one of our beliefs. That being may be God, Allah, or any one of many spirits. This belief is based on faith. This faith is usually taught to us during our youth or experienced in some form during our life. Sometimes a person just has a deep down strong belief in something that they do not understand but is still there.

People who do believe in a higher power often derive strong support and power from these beliefs. Even just the knowledge that they are not alone is a powerful force that helps them through the tough times. These beliefs often dictate how we live our lives. Those people with strong religious beliefs often have a code of conduct that they live by. For Christians those beliefs might be the Ten Commandments, for Jewish people it is the writings in the Torah. Whatever the source, the structure of those beliefs are strong and motivating forces.

Your lifestyle reflects those beliefs. Your conduct also reflects those beliefs. Your beliefs dictate how you go through life and drive you towards a certain lifestyle. While you may often fall short of the perfect lifestyle, your beliefs still carry your towards that goal.

You must take your beliefs and consider them carefully as you identify your goals and what it is that you want out of your life. Taking your feelings, beliefs, and faith into consideration will help insure that you arrive at a plan that your mind and body can embrace and support. You must always remember that this plan is about YOU and what YOU are. It is not about what anyone else thinks you should be.

The world is also filled with people who will try and tell you that your beliefs are wrong and that you should change over to their beliefs. If you are interested in what they are saying and want to look into their beliefs more closely you should do that. But you should do that only because YOU think it is a worthwhile thing to do. Do not allow yourself to be forced to abandon your beliefs. Your beliefs are part of what and who you are. Abandoning your beliefs for the wrong reason will cause you to live at least part of your life in denial.

Living your life in denial is to refuse to acknowledge exactly who and what you are. It is to live according to someone else’s definition of what you should be. This is not a good way to live. This type of lifestyle will only lead to resentment and an unfulfilled existence. In order in balance and fulfilled you need to follow the path that your mind tells you is the right path.

Beliefs are neither right nor wrong. They are just what you believe in your heart to be true. Over time your beliefs in some things will change and you should expect that from time to time. What usually does not change are your main beliefs and thoughts. You will remain true to your strongest beliefs as long as you acknowledge them and embrace them.

It is important to be open minded and to experience new feelings and other beliefs. Some will be of little interest while others will capture your heart and add a new dimension to your life. Do not be close minded and think that your way is the only way. Your way is just one way. It may be right for you but not for someone else. That’s all right. Remember that we are all different and will have different viewpoints, beliefs, and ideas. It’s what makes each one of us special in our own way.

That is something we can all believe in.

Overview 2

Why Most People Do Not Become

Successful In Their Eyes

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As you read further and further into this book, you will see that we define success as being in a type of lifestyle that is right for YOU. Not right for your spouse, your parents, friends, teachers, or co-workers. Achieving a successful lifestyle and life is creating something that fits you and what is important to you.

That being said, it is important that you realize that from the time you were born, you have been conditioned to do what is right for the people around you not what is right for yourself.

A good parent will encourage their children to experiment to find out what is right for them. They will allow their child to try a musical instrument, play many sports, and find out what it is that they are drawn to in life. This is the right way for a child to discover what it is that excites and interests them.

Sometimes, however, parents and relatives push their children into things for the wrong reasons. Perhaps the parent loved a certain sport or activity and wants the children to love it, too. That’s fine if the child shows and interest but if the child does not like that activity, forcing the child to do it anyway could be harmful. Even if the child does like that particular activity, maybe the parent or other person will demand too much from the child.

This is especially evident in watching parents at Little League and school athletic events. They push the child, yell at officials and referees, and threaten the coach if the child does not play the right position or enough time every game. This kind of behavior and pressure is not likely to have a good effect on the child.

It is not reasonable to expect a child to stand up and assert their opinions or desires. Let’s face it, the strongest role models for a child are their parents. This is especially true for the same sex parent of that child. If daddy desperately wants his son to be a football player, the child is going to try and make the parent happy. This often happens at the expense of the child.

Parents are not the only ones that have a profound effect on how