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    Pursuing Giraffe: A 1950s Adventure
    Pursuing Giraffe: A 1950s Adventure
    Pursuing Giraffe: A 1950s Adventure
    Ebook445 pages5 hours

    Pursuing Giraffe: A 1950s Adventure

    By Anne Innis Dagg

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    In the 1950s, Anne Innis Dagg was a young zoologist with a lifelong love of giraffe and a dream to study them in Africa. Based on extensive journals and letters home, Pursuing Giraffe vividly chronicles the realization of that dream and the year that she spent studying and documenting giraffe behaviour. Dagg was one of the first zoologists to study wild animals in Africa (before Jane Goodall and Dian Fossey); her memoir captures her youthful enthusiasm for her journey, as well as her näiveté about the complex social and political issues in Africa.

    Once in the field, she recorded the complexities of giraffe social relationships but also learned about human relationships in the context of apartheid in South Africa and colonialism in Tanganyika (Tanzania) and Kenya. Hospitality and friendship were readily extended to her as a white woman, but she was shocked by the racism of the colonial whites in Africa. Reflecting the twenty-three-year-old author’s response to an “exotic” world far removed from the Toronto where she grew up, the book records her visits to Zanzibar and Victoria Falls and her climb of Mount Kilimanjaro. Pursuing Giraffe is a fascinating account that has much to say about the status of women in the mid-twentieth century. The book’s foreword by South African novelist Mark Behr (author of The Smell of Apples and Embrace) provides further context for and insights into Dagg’s narrative.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherWilfrid Laurier University Press
    Release dateAug 4, 2009
    ISBN9781554586622
    Pursuing Giraffe: A 1950s Adventure

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    • 4/5
      In 1956, Canadian Anne Innis Dagg set sail for Africa, pursuing her dream to study giraffe. One of the first zoologists to study African mammals in Africa, Dagg broke many stereotypes undertaking behavioural research – years before Jane Goodall and Dian Fossey began their better-known studies.For Pursuing Giraffe: a 1950s Adventure, Dagg has compiled her journals and letters home to create a moving story of woman’s pursuit of knowledge in a new field. As Dagg shares, women did not normally enter science programs at University, were still expected to wear skirts to school and did not have the opportunities to apply for field research like their male classmates. It is from these limitations that Dagg struck out into new territory, traveling alone when she was only twenty-three years old and finding a location in South Africa willing to host a female researcher.Readers may be tempted, with 21st century viewpoints, to denigrate Dagg for her apparent naïveté in journeying to Africa with no knowledge of the political climate. However, it is precisely this unbiased naïveté that presents a compelling picture of the world Dagg entered. Assuredly, it is only a narrow window into a complex situation but an important one. With a scientist’s eye, Dagg chronicles every reaction, including her own biases, her idealized notions of Africans, and her utter bewilderment at the political mire she has encountered. This honest reporting allows readers to arrive at their own conclusions.Dagg set out with enough money for approximately a year in Africa and a host who may have turned her away after discovering she was a woman. Her research included hours of footage on the animals grazing and male giraffe sparing, studies of the plants preferred by the giraffe in the dry and wet seasons and her groundbreaking discovery of homosexual behaviour among male giraffes.Her daring nature coloured her pursuit of the giraffe, and in the end, she managed to study the animals in both Southern and Eastern Africa, leaving just as the Group Areas Act goes into effect and apartheid is implemented as we understand it today. Pursuing Giraffe: a 1950s Adventure is as much a story about women’s roles in the world as it is about scientific research and personal growth.

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    Pursuing Giraffe - Anne Innis Dagg

    University.

    1

    Setting Off

    When I see him in the lounge with his friend, I settle down behind them to read my book. If the two of them are strolling around the deck, I stroll nonchalantly after them, hoping they won’t notice me. I only catch snatches of their conversations, always innocuous.

    I like having tea on deck.

    The students behave better in Rhodesia than in England.

    Look at that sunset!

    They probably don’t notice me because I’m white, like all the other passengers except them. He is tall, handsome, and black; his friend is shorter, not very good looking, with a lighter skin colour. It’s good that they have each other to talk to because everyone else gives them a wide berth. We are all sailing to South Africa on the Arundel Castle, a two-week trip from London. It is July 1956, a time when blacks and whites inhabit separate worlds.

    I’ve read enough issues of National Geographic to be entranced with the romance of black Africa where my beloved giraffe live. As a Canadian I’ve only seen a few black people in my entire life and never spoken with one, so no wonder I’m desperate to talk to this exotic man so close at hand. I don’t have the nerve to close in on two of them at once, though. I bide my time.

    At last, several days out from England, I see him standing by himself at the rail looking out to sea, dressed as usual in black pants and a long-sleeved white shirt and tie. Behind him white people sprawl on deck chairs in the sun in swimsuits, shorts, halter tops, and tee-shirts, working on their tans.

    I saunter over to the rail on his right, not too close to scare him but close enough to chat.

    Isn’t it a gorgeous day? I say, gazing also at the blue water. Sometimes I’ll see porpoise, flying fish, or albatross from the railing, but today there is no sign of life.

    He starts. Yes, he agrees.

    Do you live in Africa? I ask, turning my head to look at him. He does seem nervous. He shifts his feet.

    Yes, I’m from Southern Rhodesia.

    Have you been away long?

    I’ve been teaching in England for a year, he replies.

    Are you glad to be leaving?

    Not really, he says. "The English are good in that most don’t make a big thing about skin colour. Many English people were friendly because I’m an African, which never happens in Africa."

    I’m beginning to sound like an inquisitor, so I say, I’m from Canada. My name’s Anne. I offer my hand which, after a second’s pause, he shakes.

    I’m Josiah Chinamano.

    It’s delicate work, but I manage not to frighten him away and to extract a bit of his history. He lives in Salisbury with his family, where he is superintendent of thirty mission schools in the area. The past year he has been lecturing on Africa at Selwyn Oaks College in Birmingham. He is religious and deeply interested in the racial climate and politics of Africa.

    Josiah is warming up to me. Why are you going to South Africa? he asks.

    To study giraffe, I say. I’m going to write a book about them because there isn’t one. There’s a ranch in the eastern Transvaal where I may be able to watch them.

    Josiah wrinkles his nose. Aren’t there better places further north to study giraffe? he asks. Kenya? Tanganyika? Uganda? He seems to have little use for South Africa, which I’ll understand when I get there.

    I’m delighted with his interest. I wrote to everyone I could think of for help, but no luck, I reply. Mr. Cowie, director of the Royal National Parks of Kenya, wrote that Kenya was out because there were still a few Mau Mau revolutionaries murdering people in the countryside. He’s the guy who years ago wrote a letter to a Nairobi newspaper signed ’Old Settler,’ arguing that for the sake of progress in Kenya they should machine gun all the game animals and poison all the predators; as he intended, the huge backlash to this idea jump-started the push for conservation. Anyway, Cowie forwarded my letter to Dr. Leakey at the museum in Nairobi. Dr. Leakey was sorry but he knew of no jobs I could do to help finance my field work, and no real base I could use. (Four years later, Leakey would set up Jane Goodall in Tanganyika so that she could begin her world-renowned study of the behaviour of chimpanzees.)

    I’ve heard of Dr. Leakey, Josiah says.

    The Director of Education in Kenya had no good suggestions except to contact Mr. Cowie, I continue. When I wrote Mr. Cowie again, he wondered if I could study giraffe in Nairobi National Park although there’s no research base there. The Survey of Tropical Africa thought Dr. Leakey or the East African Game Departments might be able to help me, which they couldn’t. A teacher at the London School of Economics recommended a professor at Makerere College in Uganda as a possible sponsor, but this didn’t pan out either.

    How did you get the Transvaal connection?

    This all happened last summer, I say. By the time fall came, I still had no hope of getting to Africa so I spent last year working on my master’s degree at the University of Toronto.

    You have a master’s degree? Josiah asked, startled.

    Yes. I wrote a thesis on the growth of newborn mice, showing that different genetic strains gain weight at different rates when a set diet is fed to their mothers. It was the only research project available that didn’t involve hurting animals. Not much use for giraffe research, though, I laugh.

    Late last fall, a friend told me about a giraffe named Shorty in the Hluhluwe Game Reserve in Natal, I continue. "He was born in the Transvaal, abandoned by his mother when a few days old, and hand-raised by a farmer who bedded him in a stable and allowed him to wander near the farm house. When Shorty was six months old—over eight feet tall!—Transvaal game authorities expropriated him because giraffe are protected game and can’t be owned by a private citizen. They sent him to Natal in exchange for other animals, hoping that he would increase tourism at the Hluhluwe Reserve even though giraffe never occurred there naturally.

    He used to wander among the huts in the rest camp, eating hay and tit-bits from the guests and posing for photographs, but one day he kicked a girl bending over to take a picture of a flowerbed. From then on he was barred from the rest area and spent his days moping about outside the camp gate. I’m not boring you, am I?

    No, go on. What happened then? Josiah asks with some interest.

    "A zoologist from Rhodes University in South Africa called Griff Ewer was visiting Hluhluwe. When she commented on Shorty to the camp warden, he told her the animal’s sad story. Shorty’s original owner had a ranch next to that of an Alexander Matthew, whose property, Fleur de Lys, had about ninety-five wild giraffe. Mr. Matthew had indicated that he, too, would send giraffe to Natal if that would help increase the range of the species; he was interested in wildlife and realized the importance of carrying out field research.

    About this time a fellow graduate student of mine from the University of Toronto [and later a professor there], Rufus Churcher, gave me a letter of introduction to his former teacher, Dr. Jakes Ewer, so I wrote to him at Rhodes University. He contacted the National Parks Board of South Africa for me, but this Board didn’t want giraffe studied. Then Griff returned to Rhodes and told her husband, Jakes, about Mr. Matthew. Jakes Ewer wrote to him at once, explaining about the Canadian student who wanted to study giraffe. To be on the safe side, he didn’t mention that I was a girl.

    Josiah makes a face at this, but I continue anyway. Mr. Matthew was wonderful. He wrote Dr. Ewer that he’d be glad to assist A.C. Innis, offering him lodging for a small sum or part-time work if he wanted to earn room and board in a men’s bunkhouse. He said he had riding horses and a Land Rover that Innis could use to watch the giraffe.

    What did Mr. Matthew say when he realized you were a girl? Josiah asks.

    He doesn’t know yet. I wrote him just before I left London and gave Rhodes University as my next address.

    Was Dr. Ewer all right with that?

    He wrote not to worry about such details. He said I should come along to South Africa and sort the matter out later. I hope it works out. I’m not game for bunking down with a bunch of stockhands.

    Josiah can’t help laughing, although he glances around to see if anyone is watching him having such a cheerful conversation with a white woman.

    As this point his friend, Mr. Chetty, joins us. As we three chat I realize that Mr. Chetty, a so-called Cape Coloured because some of his ancestors in Cape Town were white, is not the least concerned about the colour problems of Africa. His goal is to immigrate to Britain. It turns out that the two men do have a white friend on board ship, a Rev. Illsley, who runs a mission in Southern Rhodesia and has just published a novel called Wagon of Fire. When I later meet the minister he is most friendly, insisting that I come to visit him at his mission where his wife can put up as many as eighteen guests at once.

    I think of Josiah as a friend, but he makes a point of talking to me only on deck and only if there are few other people around.

    Are you coming to the dance tonight? I ask him once, to be friendly; every evening the small band plays on deck under the moonlight.

    No, he says. I’ll be reading in my cabin.

    Because we are both interested in books, he borrows from me Naught for Your Comfort by Father Huddleston, an Anglican priest who is dead set against apartheid in South Africa. In return, I borrow from him Wagon of Fire—a grim thriller bulging with adjectives about natives versus Christianity versus whites, with Christianity apparently winning. Before sailing, I had visited the Charing Cross area of London to browse through second-hand book shops, hunting for animal books that included information on giraffe. There were none. Instead, I bought eight books on Africa to read on the ship. Next to the giraffe, I’m anxious to learn as much as I can about the continent that I’ve dreamed about for so many years, and its human inhabitants.

    When I’m reading one of my new books on deck, I’m often served free lemonade by a deck steward from Nova Scotia, the only other Canadian on the ship. This way he’ll have an excuse to stop and chat. Reading a book seems to be a signal for anyone to come and interrupt, as if this activity is a last resort and that any human contact at all is preferable. The steward introduces me to the Master-at-Arms, who has two sons working in Canada, so the three of us can discuss our common interest.

    I love to hear the way you talk, the steward usually says when we meet.

    I love not to have to keep repeating myself, I respond; most of the English and South African people I talk to have trouble understanding my Canadian accent. I’m also pleased with the free drinks as I don’t have more than just enough money to last the year. Once, when I’m talking to the steward, the ship’s photographer insists he’ll take my picture on spec. I turn my head to prevent this, but he takes it anyway and, alas, when I see it, even without my face, I’m too conceited not to buy it.

    My acquaintances on board are, with the exception of Josiah and Mr. Chetty, a cross-section of white people going to Africa. One man, an engineer, falls into step beside me one dark evening as I’m walking round and round the main deck for exercise.

    Have you seen the luminous plankton? he asks when he finds out I’m a zoologist.

    What’s that? I’ve never heard of such a thing, but it sounds biological. I’m immediately interested, and he is delighted at my ready response.

    Come on, I’ll show you, he says eagerly.

    We walk past a couple giggling in a deck chair and to the very back of the ship by way of the crew’s quarters where, by leaning over the rail, we can see pinpoints of light flickering in the surge of dark water below churned up by the ship’s propellers. I find this vision entrancing, at least until the engineer puts his arm around my waist and pulls me close to him.

    What are you doing! I say, startled.

    "The plankton isn’t that interesting," he insists, pulling me around to face him so he can kiss me.

    Leave me alone, I snap, pushing him away. I immediately retreat the way we came, past the deck chair where the giggling has been replaced by frenzied creakings, and into the lighted lounge. Why would anyone want to kiss a person they’d known for only five minutes? Was this shipboard culture? I’d been taught by the chaplain at my all-girls high school that one should only kiss a boy one is engaged to. This had seemed strange: Wouldn’t kissing lead to an engagement rather than the other way around? A commonly accepted rule of thumb in university at that time was not to kiss a boy until the third date. This seemed reasonable then, although incredible now.

    During the trip I become friendly with three travelling groups, the most empathetic being seven male botanists employed by the British colonial service to teach agricultural methods to the Africans of Nyasaland (now Malawi). (Why would farmers who have spent a lifetime growing crops in their native land need such help, I think now.) To accustom the botanists to the tropics, the British government had sent them to Trinidad for a year to study agricultural conditions there. Now they are heading for Nyasaland to share their new-found wisdom with the local farmers. They spend each day on ship struggling to master the intricacies of Chinyanja, the language spoken in their new country. They’re much more serious than the other British colonial servants going to the Federation of the Rhodesias and Nyasaland for a three-year tour of duty, or South Africans returning home from their holidays.

    The second cohesive group is an enthusiastic rugby team of twenty Welsh schoolboys scheduled to play a series of matches with South African teams. In the evening I often play a game of Categories with some of them. We each have a piece of paper on which we write across the top categories such as makes of cars, kitchen appliances, and kinds of dogs. Down the side we write five letters, then try to fill in each of the squares of categories matched to each of the letters—a game now marketed as Scattergories. My opponents usually nominate a category for Welsh rugby players for which I prove adept, despite complete ignorance of the subject.

    White for W, I state confidently as we go around with our answers.

    I don’t remember a White, one lad will say after thinking for a moment.

    No, Rod White, another will break in suddenly. Remember he played about ten years ago? For the Cardiff team? The others agree that White is a good choice.

    J for Jones, I say next.

    Everyone has him, they chorus. Brian Jones, he was great.

    Didn’t he play back? I ask tentatively.

    No, no, no, he was a forward, they insist, thinking how dense I must be not to know that.

    Before our games they spend the afternoon practising rugby moves on deck. When they are finished they gather, hot and sweaty, to sing Welsh hymns and songs in parts as they cool off.

    Compared to these fine lads, the men in the third group are repulsive—seven British policemen hired to work in Southern Rhodesia, the most notable of them famous for having drunk twenty-nine bottles of beer in one evening. By agreeing to serve in the colony, some of the younger men avoid their two-year term of National Service. Early in the trip, before I knew what he was like, I had shown Paddy, from Ireland, my stateroom because he had asked to see it. He had pushed me down onto the lower berth but let me go when my roommate, Shirley, suddenly came into the cabin. Had he been about to try and rape me? I don’t know, but he was interrupted so promptly that I didn’t dwell on his behaviour, except to never again be alone with him. I couldn’t avoid him entirely because the common lounge space was too small.

    From their conversation I pity any native law breakers these policemen will deal with. Although they have never been to Africa, they act as if they know all about Africans.

    We’ve seen you talking to that coon, both Paddy from Ireland and Derek from England say to me on different occasions. What do you talk about?

    About Africa. What else? I reply lightly.

    Be careful you don’t encourage him, Derek says. If I see you dancing with him, I’ll kill him.

    Don’t be ridiculous.

    He probably thinks he’s smart because he’s a teacher, Paddy says, but you can’t teach a coon anything. They’re like four-year-olds.

    Maybe seven-year-olds? Derek laughs.

    That’s silly, I say.

    "I’m not putting up with any nonsense, Paddy states, making a motion as if cracking a whip. They’ll know who’s boss when I’m around." He laughs, sits down beside me on the sofa and puts his arm around my neck, pulling my head forward to give me a kiss. I struggle free.

    Don’t, I snap. Paddy’s friends laugh, to Paddy’s annoyance.

    Anne’s stupid too, he says. She reads books but she doesn’t know anything. She lifts up the tail of a horse to see what’s underneath. I stand up and stalk away from the group; there’s silence behind me, then a burst of laughter.

    Usually, when I’m relaxing by myself on a deck chair (no sunblock then, alas), I worry about Ian. Have I lost him for sure because of my dream of studying giraffe?

    I met Ian in June of 1954 at the Timothy Eaton Memorial Church Tennis Club, a handsome guy of twenty-six who had a PhD in physics and was doing research at the University of Toronto until he left in the fall for a one-year fellowship at Oxford University. I was thrilled when he asked me out the next evening to see the movie The Student Prince, then kissed me on the doorstep of the apartment where I lived with my mother. I’d never been kissed on a first date before, but I didn’t mind at all.

    From then on we were together every evening that summer, playing tennis, seeing a movie (he always paid) where we held hands, or hanging out with his friends. He didn’t have a car so I often drove us in the family Austin which my father had bought two years before he died (though my parents never learned to drive it).

    You shouldn’t spoil boyfriends by driving them around, Ian admonished me, but nevertheless he liked not having to depend on streetcars.

    When I found that he’d briefly dated four of my acquaintances, I realized he must prefer me to them. One of these, Diana, wrinkled up her nose when she learned I was going out with Ian.

    He’s awfully fast, she sniffed, probably referring to a first-date kiss.

    Oh, he’s all right, I said in an offhand way. How exciting and unlikely to be thought a vamp! My brother routinely called me little brown hen, so I was amazed that Ian had chosen me over my friends.

    When Ian left for England he promised to write me, which he did now and then. I wrote back gladly, always ending each letter with Old Flame News about the four women he had dated; this had the double advantage of making him seem wonderfully popular and me superior to these rivals.

    The following spring, after my BA graduation, I spent the summer with my friend Anne Dalton, travelling through Europe by train and hitchhiking around Scotland and England. In Oxford, Anne and I had dinner with Ian at an Indian restaurant. After we walked him back to his college Anne returned to our hostel, leaving Ian and me alone by the gate.

    See you much later, she called back to me, teasing.

    I moved closer to Ian, hoping for a hug, but he just stood there. I’m seeing an English girl, he said. She’s studying zoology, like you.

    Oh, I said, stepping back again.

    Minutes later I joined Anne at the hostel.

    That didn’t take long, she remarked.

    He’s got another girl, I admitted glumly.

    However, our brief meeting acted as a catalyst for letter-writing because he wrote me a few letters in August and September before another lapse. Many of my friends had steady boyfriends, so I liked to think that I had one too, even though he didn’t write often.

    Never mind, I shared my feeling of being neglected aloud with my new friend at graduate school, Dorothy Armstrong (a future Canadian ambassador), who lived in the residence room next to mine at Falconer Hall. He’ll be busy moving back to Canada. He’ll show up soon.

    There was no sign of him in October 1955, but he finally arrived in November. He called at the residence late one afternoon looking for me and was directed by my friends to the third floor of the Zoology Building. I was in the daily process of weighing hundreds of baby mice for my thesis research.

    I found you, he announced, pulling up a stool beside mine, but not smiling.

    Hi! I exclaimed, relieved and thrilled to see him at last.

    I wanted to tell you I’m engaged to a Dutch girl. We’re getting married next summer.

    I looked at him aghast, unable to speak.

    I’ve got a job at the National Research Council in Ottawa. My mother and I are driving there from Winnipeg now with all my stuff, so I can’t stay.

    When he’d gone, I continued weighing each tiny body, keeping my head down so that nobody would notice me sobbing. I wiped away tears that fell on the babies so their weight wouldn’t be affected. I was devastated.

    In the evening I slunk back to the residence in a state of shock. My friends, sitting around on the floor in the common room, burst into song when they saw me come in—Wedding Bells Are Ringing for That Old Gang of Mine. I gave a hollow smile and mirthless laugh before retreating to my room. The singing outside died down uncertainly. After a minute, Dorothy knocked on my door and came into the room.

    What happened? she asked, her face twisted in sympathy.

    He’s engaged to a Dutch girl. They’ll be married next summer.

    Fast forward to an explosion several months later in which several people at the National Research Council in Ottawa were killed. When I heard this news on the radio I was so upset that I had to sit down to recover. Ian might be dead! I must still care for him, I thought, so I sent him a note saying that we should still be friends even if not romantically involved. (What a cliche!) He wrote a letter back: Although I won’t admit that I was wrong about members of the opposite sex not being good friends—I will say that there are exceptions—and I pronounce that you and I are exceptional—in more ways than one of course.

    Ian visited me over Easter of 1956 when he was in Toronto, and we spent a wonderful two days together during the Victoria Day weekend in May when he was best man at a friend’s wedding; I was invited to the ceremony at Ian’s instigation. Before he returned to Ottawa, we took a streetcar to the Riverdale Zoo and sat on adjacent logs near the deer enclosure.

    It’s really you I love, he told me, holding my hand while a doe stared at us through the fence. I don’t want to marry anyone but you.

    I was stunned. What should I say? Ian was proposing marriage, and I was getting ready to sail to England in less than two weeks.

    I don’t know what to say, I blurted out. How could I get married if I wanted to go to Africa?

    Come back with me to Ottawa so we can discuss it, he said.

    I took the train to Ottawa the next weekend to try and figure out what to do.

    Why don’t we spend a few months getting to really know each other? Ian said. We’ve only had one short summer together nearly two years ago.

    But I’m booked next week to go to England on the way to Africa to study the giraffe. I’ve always wanted to do that.

    Maybe we could go together to Africa later on, he suggested. But what would a physicist do there?

    Would you wait a year for me? I asked.

    There was a long pause. Of course, he said finally.

    But would he? He was everything I wanted in a man—fun, well-educated, handsome, good at tennis, generous. I didn’t really want to get married, but would I later regret letting him get away if I went to the giraffe? (Women in those days talked about catching a man, and not letting him escape.) I didn’t ask about the Dutch girl. Were they still engaged? Maybe he would go ahead and marry her anyway?

    I asked my mother what to do. As a Dean of Women used to giving counsel to troubled young women, she suggested I go to England on May 31st with my friend Rosemary Hynes, as planned, and make a final decision there—return to Canada to spend time with Ian or carry on to study the giraffe in Africa. I was so hugely conflicted that on the ocean crossing I was deathly seasick for the only time in my life.

    My confusion wasn’t helped when I picked up my mail at Canada House in London to find a letter from Ian waiting for me. He wrote that he’d asked his Dutch girlfriend to visit him for a month or so in Ottawa to sort things out. My heart sank. Tension about my future began to make my left eyelid involuntarily flutter sporadically. Later, a second letter arrived from Ian saying only that his Dutch friend would not be coming to Canada.

    What to do? Try for Ian or opt for the giraffe? The giraffe or Ian, the good catch? With great luck I could spend the year following giraffe and then have Ian. With less luck I could have the giraffe but not Ian. Would I regret this for the rest of my life? Or if I chose Ian rather than the giraffe, would I resent him later on? I toured around Britain for over a month with friends, while mulling over these thoughts. My whole future depended on the choice I made.

    Unlike today, when ocean liners are usually cruise ships carrying hundreds of passengers on short-term holiday, in the 1950s liners were the main mode of transport across oceans. The Union Castle Steamship Line ran a ship from London to South Africa once a week, leaving on Thursdays. I asked at the office of the company for an early cancellation on a ship sailing to Port Elizabeth in South Africa, giving the name of the hostel where I could be reached if a berth became available. If there was no vacancy for a month, I resolved I’d return home. If there was a cancellation, I’d go to the giraffe. I would let fate decide.

    The next day the giraffe won. A Union Castle official phoned to say that I could leave in two days, on July 19th, 1956, for South Africa if I brought a certified cheque for £60 (about $300 CDN) to his office. I rushed my cheque to a bank and then downtown, packed my suitcase and backpack, and waved goodbye to Rosemary who would return alone to Canada.

    Stretching in the deck chair, I notice my roommate Shirley and call to her to join me. She’s a travel agent who has been to Britain on a visit; she sleeps in the lower bunk in our tiny stateroom with its small porthole. Before our sumptuous dinners we often have a drink, but first I wait for her to get dressed for the evening, always in a new ensemble I haven’t yet seen. She rushes down the corridor to the women’s washroom to shower, then presses her skirt in the ironing room on the way back to our cabin. Then she chooses matching earrings from her jewellery case and puts on nail polish, mascara, eyebrow pencil, powder, and lipstick. She is so completely man-oriented that when I mention that I long for mail, she assumes I mean male and want a date. Of course, I am thinking about a letter from Ian. I’ve sent him the ship’s address and schedule of ports of call from London, hoping there will be a letter from him in Cape Town.

    When she is ready, her new boyfriend comes by to pick her up. Andy, who lives in Durban, has no more use for Africans than do the policemen.

    "Kaffirs are dirty, lazy, and stupid," he proclaims.

    That’s a ridiculous stereotype, I say, noting Josiah out of the corner of my eye going to first-sitting in the dining room, a book on Africa I lent him tucked under his arm.

    You’ll soon lose your idealism when you see what they’re really like, he warns. I manage to restrain my anger with difficulty.

    Andy then insists that I borrow a pamphlet explaining how Africans can excel at university even though they’re stupid. According to the pamphlet they have a special photographic memory which enables them to answer questions on tests and exams even though they are totally unable to reason or understand what they have learned. Such propaganda must be important in brainwashing people such as Andy to believe that oppressive laws for natives are justified.

    While Andy and I argue, Shirley sits beside Andy, admiring her nails and saying nothing. If Shirley has a nap or goes to bed early, Andy takes up with Valerie who is happy to sleep with him according to Andy’s roommate, Alec. When Alec wakes up there are sometimes two bodies in the other bunk.

    Andy wants to marry me, Shirley tells me.

    But you’ve just met him, I object.

    He really loves me. I know, because he ignores Valerie even though Valerie chases after him. Poor Shirley.

    We arrive early in the morning at Cape Town, surely one of the most beautiful cities in the world. The buildings are white, with red roofs glistening in the early sunlight. Behind them rises Table Mountain to a height of 3,500 feet; at intervals during the day, white fluffy clouds known as the Table Cloth pause at this summit before drifting on.

    All but forty of the passengers are leaving the ship here, most of them to take the train north to Johannesburg, Pretoria, and the Federation of the Rhodesias and Nyasaland. I loiter near the gangplank for a while, saying goodbye and good luck to the various people I’ve chatted to during the trip. They are all extremely kind: the minister urges me again to come and stay with him and his wife at their mission for Christmas; I’m given the names of three people in Grahamstown, whom I must look up (but don’t); and two couples from my table give me their addresses in Johannesburg and Pretoria in case I visit those cities. (A year later I do contact one of these couples, but by then they have forgotten who I am.) In the background the Welsh boys sing sad songs but I remain in the best of spirits. At last I’m in Africa, the land of my dreams! If I had known then what we know now, that Africa is not only an exotic land but the home of our most distant human ancestors, would I have been even more thrilled? I doubt it. That concept would have been too strange, too foreign to be grasped.

    Later, from two decks above, I watch Josiah, dressed in a suit, walk sedately down the gangplank with a small suitcase in his hand. We had exchanged addresses the night before and agreed to write to each other. Behind him come the policemen in windbreakers, punching each other playfully, shouting comments back and forth. I picture Josiah and the policemen unhappily confined together for the next several days on the train to Southern Rhodesia, and realize that I’ve learned a lot about Africa already. When Josiah refused to go to the evening shipboard dances, I thought it was from Christian scruples or an aversion to frivolity. Now that I’m aware of the vast sea of racism around me, I realize that, unlike the rest of us, he has to constantly monitor his behaviour just to be physically safe. How strange that English people in England made him feel welcome, while English (and Afrikaner) people in Africa, his homeland, treat him with contempt. Are the dregs of Britain especially attracted to Africa because the standard of living is far higher for them here than at home?

    Five years later, Josiah will visit me in Waterloo, Ontario, and meet my new husband, who teaches at the University of Waterloo. I’m working on my definitive book about the giraffe, which will not be published for another fifteen years. When I go for a walk with him around Waterloo Park, people stare to see us together. We take him on Sunday to St Andrew’s Presbyterian Church, along with my mother, where the congregation is thrilled to have a black man in their midst. Two male elders approach us to introduce themselves after the service. They invite Josiah and my husband to a church meeting the next night about missionaries and their work. Even though Josiah is my friend, I’m not invited and have to stay home instead. To my annoyance I realize that, in this church, being black trumps being a woman.

    Later, Josiah becomes Joshua Nkomo’s right-hand man in Southern Rhodesia’s fight for freedom from British rule. Soon after Zimbabwe is founded in 1980, Nkomo is demoted from his cabinet position by Prime Minister Robert Mugabe, who becomes in effect the repressive leader of a one-party state, which he remains to this day. Nkomo’s demotion also ends Josiah’s political career.

    In one of his letters to me, after his visit, Josiah asks about the possibility of sending his daughter, one of six children, to Waterloo to train as a nurse. This doesn’t work out. We lose touch during the upheaval in his country, but I worry about him after I hear he is imprisoned by the white government in 1964 and featured by Amnesty International as a Political Prisoner of the Month who needs help. I send him money, as

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