A Little Bite: And Other Stories
By Mary O'Toole
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About this ebook
These delightful stories will introduce you to some of the most colorful characters and situations you'll ever meet. A wonderful romp through 22 short stories, and characters you'll recognize everywhere.
Mary O'Toole
I experienced a childhood that encouraged reading. Before I could read myself, I had to be read to by someone else. On Sundays, the newspaper had a wonderful section just for children, with comics, puzzles, and stories. It was the highlight of the week for me. But I had to wait until my father finished reading the rest of the huge Sunday paper before he read this special children's section to me. Having to wait made me want so much to be able to read for myself. Ever since then, I have been an avid reader.I'm from an Irish background, where storytelling and reading were large parts of our lives. We borrowed books from the library every 2 or 3 weeks, we read out loud at school, and we were read to a lot. I really like to read to others. There's something quite wonderful about a human voice reading beautiful words, sentences and ideas in stories, and the listener losing oneself in the words heard. It's kind-of like listening to music, just a different language.About 15 years ago, I became a volunteer broadcaster for a radio station for the blind in San Francisco, reading newspapers, magazines, and the grocery store ads. In 2000, I became a volunteer broadcaster for a radio reading service on the East coast, for whom I recorded the Wonderful Short Stories program, which is a selection of short stories and other readings. In 2006 I recorded a CD entitled Read Me A Story, which is available on iTunes and CD Baby. I do readings of stories at libraries and other places.
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A Little Bite - Mary O'Toole
A Little Bite
And Other Stories
By Mary O’Toole
Copyright 2011 Mary O’Toole
Smashwords Edition
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by an information storage and retrieval system – except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages in a review to be printed in a magazine, newspaper, or on the web – without permission in writing from Mary O’Toole.
Smashwords Edition, License Notes – This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
List of Stories
1. A Little Bite
2. Advice to Men
3. Computer Class
4. For Rent – Fully Furnished Apartment
5. Fred’s Bicycle
6. Free At Last
7. Good Old San Francisco
8. Houseguesting – 14 Rules For Being a Good Houseguest
9. How Very Tony
10. Lettuce Berry U
11. Muni Dollars
12. New Mattress
13. One Hundred Eight Bells
14. Onion Can Make You Cry
15. Pot Luck
16. Reading With Your Fingertips
17. Roxbury Outback
18. The Accounting
19. The Auction
20. The Mother and the Millionaire
21. This News Flash Just In!
22. Welcome!
Chapter 1
A Little Bite
Maura recently bought a mosquito repellant. It's a sort-of bracelet that you wear around your wrist, and it emits the soft sound of a dragonfly’s beating wings. Apparently, dragonflies enjoy dining on mosquitos. In theory, when the mosquito flies near you, it will hear from the bracelet what it thinks is the sound of a dragonfly, and will buzz off and leave you alone. Maura purchased the device for $29.99, and one insufferably wicked hot muggy night in Boston she was ready to put it to the test. Out she went to the swing on her front porch, sat and waited. She did not have long to wait. For within about 5 minutes, she looked down and saw a mosquito standing on her left arm. Not only was it taking a bite out of her, but it was doing so while resting its hind legs on the very device that was meant to repel it!
Chapter 2
Advice To Men
Attention all men, males, male humans, gentlemen, guys, sirs:
How to seduce a woman who is not horny all the time like you are.
After the first mating encounter, things will probably be very amorous and lusty for a while, but as time goes on, and it’s different for all women, things often cool down a bit. Some women desire the let’s-do-it-anytime arrangement indefinitely. But I think it is safe to say, and please correct me if I'm wrong, that after the initial hotness of the relationship simmers down, women may not want to have sex every six minutes, like you do. If so, you will definitely need to change your M.O. [modus operandi]. Think sexy, not sexual. Be charming, like you were in the beginning. It won’t take any longer and it will be well worth your while.
First and foremost, don’t lunge at a woman. Women don’t usually like that, except in the beginning, when the excitement is over the moon. Go slow. Don’t lunge. And don’t come up behind her while she’s doing the dishes, grab her hips and do that disgusting make-believe humping motion against her rear end with your lower body. Please. I mean do you actually think that she is going to turn off the water, dry her hands, and writhe all over you with passion and sexual excitement? Is this what you’re thinking? Look at it differently.
OK, you’re down in the basement or out in the garage and you’ve got your power tool plugged in and you’re doing something with wood, metal, cement or whatever. Along comes your lady and she's all sexy and horny and starts wrapping her arms around you. I don’t