Dumped: A Guys' Guide to Breakin' Up and Movin' On
By Kurt Callum
()
About this ebook
Men have been left in the wild and completely on their own with no books or resources to help them through a breakup. "Dumped" is by a man, for men and addresses the unique, gender-specific feelings, questions and challenges men face during this emotionally difficult time.
Written in a funny, engaging, sometimes embarrassing and brutally honest format these anecdotes and personal stories range from the hilarious to the embarrassing; from the grief-stricken to the pragmatic, and they are just as compelling as they are practical.
Touching on topics as diverse as anger management, strip clubs, therapy and porn, "Dumped" seeks to dispel the myths surrounding the way men handle breakups and elevate the discussion in order to help men get through this tumultuous period in a way that is healthy, responsible and male. For women, it's an unfiltered, invaluable and insightful look into what really goes on in a man's head and heart. Surprises guaranteed.
Kurt Callum
I'm a hopeful romantic, obsessively practical, sports and video game loving (and playing) guy with a compulsive need for travel and adventure. I consider myself a regular dude and live in a city near you - if your definition of near is within 5000 miles.
Related to Dumped
Related ebooks
Loving Yourself Without Losing Your Cool: A guide to help you get back to loving YOURSELF unapologetically Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsAll Women are Crazy but Some are Crazier than Others Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsStop Doing That Sh*t: End Self-Sabotage and Demand Your Life Back Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Manifestation101: Relationship with SELF First Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsFree to Be: A Six-Week Guide to Reclaiming Your Soul Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsIf They Want To...They Gone To: The Power To Choose Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsRaspberry Juice: A novel Novel Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsRun: The Secret Destination Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsDown Days Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWho the f*ck am I? Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHold It Through the Curves: Essays Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsAmen to All That: A Story in Four-Letter Words, or Less Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBroken-Mended: The Diary of Amanda Redhawk Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsAre You Drifting? Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsAn Hour Later. Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsChaotic Simplicity: Addressing Everyday Mental Health Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings#MuchBetter #ThanksForAsking Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWant Your Self: Shift Your Self-Talk and Unearth the Strength in Who You Were All Along Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Will to Whatevs: A Guide to Modern Life Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSenior Reflections Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsTalking to the Mirror: A Stutterer’s Journey Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsOut Of This World Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Power of Writing and Never Letting Go Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsEmbracing the Enemy Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5An Almost Tolerable Person Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsDear Sophie, Love Sophie: A Graphic Memoir in Diaries, Letters, and Lists Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsLove Is a Decision Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsCircling Round Woman Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsGotta Be Shifting Me Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Personal Growth For You
Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Courage To Be Disliked: A single book can change your life Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Hard Thing About Hard Things: Building a Business When There Are No Easy Answers Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem: The Definitive Work on Self-Esteem by the Leading Pioneer in the Field Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Everything Is F*cked: A Book About Hope Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: The Infographics Edition Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Big Magic: How to Live a Creative Life, and Let Go of Your Fear Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Die With Zero: Getting All You Can from Your Money and Your Life Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Art of Thinking Clearly Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Almanack of Naval Ravikant: A Guide to Wealth and Happiness Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Art of Communicating Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Cal Newport's Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World | Summary Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Rich Dad Poor Dad Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before? Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Alchemist: A Graphic Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Big Book of 30-Day Challenges: 60 Habit-Forming Programs to Live an Infinitely Better Life Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Peak: Secrets from the New Science of Expertise Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The 5AM Club: Own Your Morning. Elevate Your Life. Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Pathless Path Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Super Learning: Advanced Strategies for Quicker Comprehension, Greater Retention, and Systematic Expertise Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People Personal Workbook Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5How to Not Die Alone: The Surprising Science That Will Help You Find Love Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5No More Mr. Nice Guy: The Hero's Journey: A Step-by-Step Guide to Becoming an Integrated Male Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
Reviews for Dumped
0 ratings0 reviews
Book preview
Dumped - Kurt Callum
To whomever is reading this, if you are the dumpee do not despair. This guide will help you lick your wounds (or get someone else to), heal your heart (‘cause us guys have 'em too), and get you back into this messy game of love (which we all like to play – bodychecks and all).
If you are the dumper, put down this book and back away from the table. This isn’t about you anymore. We respect your decision and your inherent right to make it, but we’re still in the first two stages of grief (denial and anger) and will be for a while (or at least until chapter 4), so let us be. Oh, and one other thing – GO F*** YOURSELF!
INTRODUCTION
I decided to write this book about a day after I got royally dumped. It was a term a good buddy used (yeah I know, niiiiice) and it stung like a sonofabitch, but it was accurate nonetheless, once I had come to terms with what had just happened.
But before I get into my story and the lessons I hope we can learn from it, I think a couple of definitions would be useful.
dumped, dump•ing, dumps
verb transitive
1.To release or throw down in a large mass.
2.To empty out (a container or vehicle), as by overturning or tilting.
3.a.To get rid of; discard
b.Informal. To discard or reject unceremoniously: dump a boyfriend.
4.To place (goods or stock, for example) on the market in large quantities and at a low price.
5.Slang. To knock down; beat.
verb intransitive
1.To fall or drop abruptly.
2.To discharge cargo or contents; unload.
noun
1.Vulgar Slang. An act of defecating.
Once again, and particularly with that last definition, niiiiice!
With that out of the way, let me just share a bit about the format of this tome.
This book, while called DUMPED ('cause it’s a catchy title), is about getting over relationships. The information contained herein is designed to be useful to all guys going through a breakup, whether that breakup is from a short or long term relationship, including marriage. The goal of this book is to use my own experience and the collective wisdom of our fellow men to discover how to deal with such life altering moments with a sense of humour and in a way that is healthy, responsible and male.
In many ways, it’s reclaiming or reframing this sense of maleness or masculinity, that informs the seed of this book. In fact, it’s that male thing that got this whole project started.
When I got dumped I had a tide of overflowing emotion and felt I needed somewhere to turn and someone to guide me through the mess my life had suddenly, overnight, become. But I didn't just want advice that was for men - more importantly - I wanted to hear another voice that was male. Am I allowed to feel this way? Is crying weak? Is anger bad? Have any other men felt the way I'm feeling or is it just me? Problem was, when I went to the library, the local mega-book store or the Internet, there was all this information specifically geared to women, and none - zippo, nada, zero, zilch - for men. This really confused me. And pissed me off. I remembered being surprised 5 years earlier when I had separated from my wife, but I figured in the interim, surely someone would have had the wherewithal, or just the balls, to write and publish something for us guys. But nope, it just hadn’t happened.
Frustrated beyond belief I decided I’d read all the women's help stuff anyway and see if it would apply to me. While some of the information was useful (like learning the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance), I truly believe that men and women are so different in our emotional lives - not any less feeling mind you, but just...different - that we need information, advice, and a format that is unique to ourselves. Hence this book!
This book is divided into 12 chapters - one for each month of the year, and yes, just like a 12 step program. I mean, let’s be real...I’m writing a freakin’ book here that needs to sell and everybody and their dog has heard of the 12 steps. That, and 12 steps are simple, concise, have a beginning, a middle, an end, and most importantly - a goal.
This book starts in November because that was the first month after my breakup, and ends in October of the following year. Of course, these months are arbitrary for you and they could just as easily start anywhere as long as there are 12 of them in a row!
Within each chapter you will find an account of my own personal experience during that month, plus some questions, some from me and some from other men I’ve interviewed, that need to be answered in order for us to cope and move forward.
In addition, each chapter ends with a bunch of stuff that I think will help you through the month. A quote (to motivate and heal), as well as movies to watch (to learn, laugh and take your mind off things), and alcohol to drink (to keep it interesting). I was thinking of including a porn site of the month (as we know we all use it), but figured you have this area covered and hardly need my help. The only note I’ll make is to not feel guilty or allow anyone else to make you feel guilty for using porn. It’s here to stay and serves a useful purpose. There's also a playlist with tunes that I think will help put an