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    Lamb
    Lamb
    Lamb
    Audiobook15 hours

    Lamb

    Written by Christopher Moore

    Narrated by Fisher Stevens

    4/5

    ()

    About this audiobook

    The birth of Jesus has been well chronicled, as have his glorious teachings, acts, and divine sacrifice after his thirtieth birthday. But no one knows about the early life of the Son of God, the missing years—except Biff, the Messiah’s best bud, who has been resurrected to tell the story in this divinely hilarious, yet heartfelt work ""reminiscent of Vonnegut and Douglas Adams"" (Philadelphia Inquirer).

    Verily, the story Biff has to tell is a miraculous one, filled with remarkable journeys, magic, healings, kung fu, corpse reanimations, demons, and hot babes. Even the considerable wiles and devotion of the Savior’s pal may not be enough to divert Joshua from his tragic destiny. But there’s no one who loves Josh more—except maybe ""Maggie,"" Mary of Magdala—and Biff isn’t about to let his extraordinary pal suffer and ascend without a fight.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherHarperAudio
    Release dateMar 27, 2007
    ISBN9780061262654
    Lamb
    Author

    Christopher Moore

    Christopher Moore is the author of eighteen previous novels, including Razzmatazz, Shakespeare for Squirrels, Noir, Secondhand Souls, Sacré Bleu, Fool, and Lamb. He lives in San Francisco, California.

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    Reviews for Lamb

    4/5

    4,149 ratings354 reviews

    What our readers think

    Readers find this title to be a hilarious and brilliant view of the Bible. The narration is amazing and the book offers a delightful twist on classic Christian stories. However, some readers feel that it falls short compared to the author's other books and find it too proper and kind. Overall, this book humanizes the Gospels and offers a range of wonderful emotions from beginning to end. It is a clever, funny, and well-written book that shouldn't be missed.

    What did you think?

    Tap to rate

    Review must be at least 10 words

    • 5/5
      This was a hoot. I mean it's the best Gospel I've ever read/heard. It's kind of like what you imagine the Bible would have read like if the powers-that-be actually cared to tell the truth rather than whatever version they thought would give them power over people. But I digress.This was funny and at the same time beautifully sad. It tells about the love and loyalty that Biff had for his dear friend Joshua (a.k.a. Jesus). Biff gets brought back to life two thousands years into the future to write his own Gospel, because the "official" ones are seriously lacking in details about Jesus' full life (which, shady if you ask me). And those exploits are pure comedy gold!Josh decided that he to seek out help in order to learn how to be a Messiah, and of course Biff went along to protect him from his kind and trusting nature. He basically made sure Josh didn't get hurt because of his unwillingness to be even a slight bit deceitful. Over the course of seventeen years they learned from Magi who sought immortality, Buddhist Monks, and Yogis, inadvertently released and then banished a human eating demon. They befriend the very last of the Yeti, Biff had lots of sex--purely for research purposes, and saved children from being sacrificed to Kali, the Hindu goddess of destruction. There was lot of healing of the sick and some serious trial and error raising the dead. And along the way they invent things like cappuccino and sarcasm.And in the end it is sad, whether you follow the bible/religion or not. Josh knew he had to die for the good of all the world not just the Jews. It was something known to him for a very long while, and while he knew and had accepted it, he still struggled with it. The fact that Josh had accepted his impending death didn't stop Biff and Maggie from trying to prevent it--from begging him not to allow it to happen. I mean, who would want their bestie to die even if it were for the greater good?!All-in-all it was a good story. It's definitely worth the read; maybe even a re-read.

      1 person found this helpful

    • 5/5
      One of the funniest books I've ever read. Christopher Moore is a brilliant comedic writer. Highly recommended!
    • 5/5
      A great retelling of a well known story to some. Made me laugh at loud at several points with some teenage and 20-something flavors over the story of Jesus. A joy to read.
    • 4/5
      One of Bradbury's rare novels (Fahrenheit 451 is another), my memory of it from my read decades ago as a teen was that it was amazing. On reread I feel its age shows. The Chronicles are a series of 26 vignettes first published in 1950 with two stories going back to 1948 and it's as if it took the socio-politico obsessions of that era, and translated it into an interplanetary future fifty years hence that's now our present: Cold War Nuclear Holocaust, Jim Crow, the Red Scare are depicted in ways that I don't think resonate today because they feel too early fifties--especially given that the book is supposed to span from January 1999 to October 2026. That said, Bradbury is imaginative and often writes beautifully and strikingly especially when depicting his Martians--their contact with Earthmen is poignant and tragic--reminiscent of the collision and destruction when the Old and New World of Earth met. I think the most powerful parts of the book are the ones that were originally published on their own as short stories, especially "--And the Moon Be Still as Bright," "The Off Season" and "There Will Come Soft Rains." And I still found the close powerful and moving.
    • 4/5
      You can tell about the zany humor just from the title. What surprised me was how touching this novel was. I've never cried at the story of the crucifixion before. Even more surprising was the spin this novel had on the crucifixion—instead of a mindless act of violence or the act of an inhuman and bloodthirsty god, good old Josh of Nazareth made the ultimate personal sacrifice in order to make a point that made sense to me for once.
    • 5/5
      that was cute. I enjoyed this story and i am not normally a fan of religious based or aimed stories.
    • 5/5
      The only drawback to this book is that it doesn't have more pages. It'll make you laugh out loud, so don't try to read next to someone sleeping ?
    • 4/5
      Funny as usual - sad that many of my christian friends might miss this one by taking too seriously what was meant to be, and is very much, only satirical...
    • 5/5
      Given the number of reviews, I am probably not going to say much that hasn't been said. The theme was poignant, and oh-so-Bradbury: Man, no matter where he goes, will ultimately wreak havoc. Brilliant!
    • 5/5
      Love, love, love The Martian Chronicles.
    • 5/5
      I loved this book so much years ago and I was so happy to find it here with many of Moores other titles. Wholesome, funny, and a range of wonderful emotions from beginning to end.
    • 5/5
      Amazing book and the audiobook is equally justifying. Kind of a cliff hanger on biffs part!!
    • 5/5
      What a delightful twist on classic Christian stories. Moore has an imagination beyond most encountered and makes stunning commentary on the many Faiths throughout. The performance was also absolutely stellar.
    • 5/5
      Absolutely beautiful book and so well read by the narrator, it'll forever change the way that I think about Jesus. Biff was an amazing character and friend.
    • 5/5
      Hilarious, brilliant and an amazing view of the bible. I would highly recommend! The narration is amazing as well!
    • 5/5
      Love all his books! It was quite generous of Biff to do all the sinning by proxy
    • 5/5
      Fantástic book with a amazing áudio performance. A clever and Funny, hilarious weel wirtten book. Dont miss it
    • 5/5
      thoroughly enjoyed this humorous romp through Jesus's life.
    • 5/5
      LOVED IT! Having been raised Catholic and gone to Catholic high school, I remember very little of the Bible. However, this wonderfully crafty story brings to memory stories from the Bible - of course, they are twisted and perverted to some extent, but hilarious and memorable. Makes me want to read the Bible and see what was and wasn't taken from the scriptures.
    • 4/5
      What makes these stories so interesting to me is not just the tales of the Earth exploration and settlement of Mars. It's the stories about the devolution of life on Earth into nuclear war, forcing its evacuation that accompany the Martian stories. These aren't just stories of space exploration, they are cautionary tales.
    • 4/5
      As wild as science fiction gets. Ray Bradbury definitely has his own style that is unlike any other, full of black humor and wild ideas. However, I feel like [author: Stanislaw Lem]'s The Cyberiad is in some ways similar to The Martian Chronicles.
    • 4/5
      Great short stories. Classic sci/fi.
    • 5/5
      Themes: space, Mars, apocalypse, how soon can humans mess up a planetI wish I had read this sooner. Contains a selection of stories about Earth's exploration of Mars, but it's really a chance for Bradbury to write about what's wrong with humans on this planet. Great stories in here. My favorite was the one about the Blacks leaving in a group for a Promised Land in space. Haunting stories that will definitely stay with me. I was surprised at how dark it was, but without being overtly dramatic about it.
    • 5/5
      From inventing sarcasm and the pencil to being the first person to put cream in their coffee, Christ's childhood best friend Biff has a story all his own.I have never laughed out loud while reading a novel as much as I did with Lamb. It is riotous and irreverent and utterly perfect.Near to nothing is known of Christ's life before the age of 30 when he showed up speaking about the Holy Ghost and claiming to be Gods son. Christopher Moore has beautifully and hilariously filled us in on that gap in time.A story about self discovery, faith, and most of all friendship, Lamb does not disappoint.It had the perfect amount of humanity, realness , humor and heart in it to make a lasting impression on me. Go out and read this book!
    • 4/5
      A Lamb tale was written by Moore,
      with naughty descriptions galore.
      But Josh's pal Biff,
      was really quite spiff.
      And now I am left wanting more.

      (Translation for folks whose gift of tongues does not include Limerick-ese:)

      Lines 1 and 2 = This is the story of the life of Jesus (aka Josh), but Moore has outdone even Ted Turner's most outrageous colorizing job. If you like Monty Python humor, then you'll probably find it terribly funny, as I did.

      Lines 3 and 4 = If you can get past the biblical connection, this is a fantastic story about the adventures of two boys (Josh and Biff) who find/make their way in the world. Through shared experiences (and even through ones that they do not share), they build a friendship that makes the ending absolutely heart wrenching. It didn't matter that I knew what was coming...I was devasted when the moment finally arrived.

      Line 5 = And then Moore threw me a bone at the end. It was the act of a kind soul. I look forward to my next Moore read. May it be another wild and wooly roller coaster ride that brings me back home feeling breathless and smiling.

      For completeness, I am including the notes that I made as I read:

      Ch 1: Clever and funny in the style of Good Omens, which was released about a decade earlier than this book. Wonder if Moore intended Lamb as a spinoff/variant.

      Ch 2: Now that I've gotten acclimatized to the clever humor, I'm starting to notice a wistful undercurrent. Does Moore share my embarrassment for being a foolish optimist who dreams that we all might learn to get along?

      Ch 3: This book is a study of extremes, the way it flip-flops between cozy details of daily life like baking bread, then over to profane behaviors like sheep buggery. Not sure if Moore just wants to keep the reader off balance to make us more susceptible to his outrageous jokes, or if he is asking us to consider the arbitrary nature of cultural rules. Guess I'll have to swirl the glass and take another sniff...

      Ch 4: I'm convinced that two stories are simultaneously being told here. The carrier story is about the humorous adventures of two boyhood pals who learn to find/make their way in the world. Beneath that carrier story is the real story, the one that a foolish wit would have written outright. Moore instead plays a witty fool who hides his real tale, like the prize in a treasure hunt. (Oh boy!)

      Ch 5: Before reading this book, I thought that I had been religiously cavalier in my own novel for doing things like casting Lucifer as a shrink and defining angel-dom as...never mind. My point is that I don't even wiggle the needle on the Moore Naughtiness Scale.

      Ch 6: I have begun wondering...If I met Christopher Moore, would his style of speech sound like Biff?

      Ch 7: Moore is a skilled storyteller. I'm getting captured by the characters and plot. And not because they are biblical/historical figures. I like Josh, Biff, and their families and friends. (Not Jakan, of course.)

      p. 117 Can't stop for each chapter now, I'm on a roll. But I did want to mention one thing: I had been wondering what this story might have been like if Moore had toned down the naughtiness to make it more palatable to more people. I've decided that the tale would have felt watered down...and I prefer my Scotch neat.

      p. 119 Biff: "He was going to kill you." Josh: "It happens. He didn't understand. He does now." I love this story!

      p. 120 Moore was/is a Mel Brooks fan. (See the Balthasar/Blucher interval.) How did I not foresee this?

      p. 123 Wherein the archangel Raziel is hoist on his own ego-petard...seriously, who among us has not suffered that one? (Liar)

      p. 127 Please ignore these updates. (I need them to write reviews because I have no memory for nitty-gritty details.) Biff: "Wouldn't it be funny if you weren't the Messiah? I mean if you abstained from knowing a woman your whole life, only to find out that you were just a minor prophet?" Pretty well sums up my youthful fear of following the arbitrary path defined by society.

      p. 147 The archangel Raziel suddenly reminds me of my husband in his TV control obsession. (Sorry honey...good thing you don't belong to goodreads.)

      p. 154 Quoting Lao-tzu...this story is giving me so many flashbacks.

      p. 185 Josh: "What does the Tao value above all else?" Biff: "Compassion? Those other two jewel things?" Josh: "No, inaction. Contemplation. Steadiness. Conservatism..." And here I thought Tao was about acceptance...once again, I feel like Biff.

      p. 199 Biff thinks: ...we had studied Confucius, whose philosophy was little more than an extensive system of etiquette. (Speak efficiently, Biff. The whole system could have been replaced by the well worn parental exclamation, "Be nice!")

      So glad Part III is over. Felt like I was suffering from time dilation. (Personal fault: I have no patience for recycled jokes.)

      Part IV was no better. Admittedly, the focus had moved to mocking India/Buddhism, but it feels like the same joke. I get it: Religion and culture are arbitrary, and all cultures demonize sex while loving to wallow in it. (If Part V has the same theme, I will be seriously tempted to smite myself.)

      p. 287 Well, Biff. I think I can answer your question as to why the other gospels neglected to discuss Josh's life between infant-hood and 30 years. That interval was not sufficiently interesting because it did not involve deep connections to loved ones. Glad to have you guys back home.

      p. 306 Love the bunny scene.

      p. 334 Good summary, Biff.

      p. 353 The tone has shifted. I feel Josh's death looming now...
    • 4/5
      Ray Bradbury tells an interesting story using a series of short stories. His ideas are creative and vivid. His story although not feasible is worth reading. His doomsday outlook on humankind is somewhat sad but possible. I tend to think some of mankind would survive a global nuclear war. Certainly escape to Mars is not feasible.
    • 4/5
      Sounds blasphemous, but really very sweet.
    • 5/5
      An amazing collection of short stories about man's colonization of Mars and its effect on humankind as well as the Martians. I've gotta read more Ray Bradbury because his writing is absolutely beautiful. If you pick this one up, at least read "Usher II" and "There Will Come Soft Rains" (my two favorites). Loved it.
    • 5/5
      Utterly terrifying and mysterious, the things in this book would probably be the truth if we ever try to conquer a planet not our own. The psychological feel and timelessness of the whole thing amazes me to no end. To think: what if, what if, what if? what if...?
    • 2/5
      2.5 stars ... and that's being generous.

      This collection of stories about Mars reminded me of Edgar Rice Burroughs stories. But where Burroughs entertained with adventures and action, Bradbury expounded on various themes, mostly anti-war and anti-establishment.

      The science in this fictional work played bit parts, merely a vehicle to get to a theatre of operations far removed from old Earth. A place where scenarios about preserving nature and archeological sites had paramount value. A place where minorities could start anew without the yoke of their oppressors dragging them through the dust. A place where the past could be preserved at the expense of Martian sanity.

      Rockets and atomic radio epitomized the Earth technological achievements. The Martians were vulnerable due to their telepathy and inward focus. Even less believable was the travel time to and from Earth -- unrealistically short considering the vast distances and plotting the different orbits of Earth and Mars to take advantage of launch windows.

      I skimmed many of these stories, I admit. I was either bored or frustrated. Some of them shine, like the tale about Spender and the one towards the end of the collection about the house running on autopilot. Otherwise, I'd sooner forget I read them.