Mitch Hedberg Quotes About Animals

Quotes about: Animals

• My apartment is infested with koala bears. It's the cutest infestation ever. Way better than cockroaches. When I turn on the light a bunch of koala bears scatter. But I don't want 'em to, you know, I'm like "Hey, hold on, fellas. Let me hold one of you. And feed you a leaf."

  Mitch Hedberg

  Funny, Animal, Light

• I went to a heavy metal concert. The singer yelled out, "How many of you people feel like human beings tonight?" And then he said, "How many of you feel like animals?" The thing is, everyone cheered after the animals part, but I cheered after the human beings part because I did not know there was a second part to the question.

  Mitch Hedberg

  Funny, Humor, Animal

• Snake eyes is a gambling term, and an animal term, too.

  Mitch Hedberg

  Funny, Humor, Eye

• I think animal crackers make people think that all animals taste the same.

  Mitch Hedberg

  Funny, Humor, Animal

• If you can't sleep, count sheep. Don't count endangered animals. You will run out.

  Mitch Hedberg

  Funny, Running, Humor

• I'd hate to be a giraffe with a sore throat.

  Mitch Hedberg

  Hate, Animal, Giraffe

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