Mark Twain Quotes About Fathers

• When I was 17, my father was so stupid, I didn't want to be seen with him in public. When I was 24, I was amazed at how much the old man had learned in just 7 years.

  Mark Twain

  Father, Stupid, Men

• What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey.

  Mark Twain

  Father, Men, Monkeys

  Mark Twain (1940). “Mark Twain in eruption: hitherto unpublished pages about men and events”, Harper & Brothers

• When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.

  Mark Twain

  Love, Funny, Motivational

  Mark Twain (2012). “Mark Twain at Your Fingertips: A Book of Quotations”, p.121, Courier Corporation

• Good fathers not only tell us how to live, they show us.

  Mark Twain

  Father, Good Father, Shows

• I believe that our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey. I believe that whenever a human being, of even the highest intelligence and culture, delivers an opinion upon a matter apart from his particular and especial line of interest, training and experience, it will always be an opinion of so foolish and so valueless a sort that it can be depended upon to suggest to our Heavenly Father that the human being is another disappointment and that he is no considerable improvement upon the monkey.

  Mark Twain

  Disappointment, Father, Believe

  Mark Twain (2013). “Autobiography of Mark Twain, Volume 2: The Complete and Authoritative Edition”, p.288, Univ of California Press

• My father was an amazing man. The older I got, the smarter he got.

  Mark Twain

  Family, Father, Men

• When I was fourteen years old, I was amazed at how unintelligent my father was. By the time I turned twenty-one, I was astounded how much he had learned in the last seven years.

  Mark Twain

  Father, Science, Years

• It is the Creator´s Grand Army, and he is the Commander-in-Chief... With these facts before you, now try to guess man´s chiefest pet name for this ferocious Commander-in-Chief? I will save you the trouble but you must not laugh. It is Our Father in Heaven.

  Mark Twain

  Father, Army, Men

• It is a wise child that knows its own father, and an unusual one that unreservedly approves of him.

  Mark Twain

  Funny, Wise, Fathers Day

  Mark Twain (2012). “Mark Twain at Your Fingertips: A Book of Quotations”, p.121, Courier Corporation

• What is the chief end of man?-to get rich. In what way?-dishonestly if we can; honestly if we must. Who is God, the one and only true? Money is God. Gold and Greenbacks and Stock-father, son, and ghosts of same, three persons in one; These are the true and only God, mighty and supreme.

  Mark Twain

  Father, Son, Men

  Mark Twain (1992). “Collected Tales, Sketches, Speeches & Essays: 1852-1890”

• When I was fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have him around. When I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. See what happens when you "know it all", at any stage of life? Farther down the track you may see clearly how certain personal opinions, held onto too tightly, could be fogging up the view, and providing incorrect insight. Prosperity is the best protector of principle.

  Mark Twain

  Inspirational Life, Father, Personal Opinions

  Attributed in Reader's Digest, Sept. 1937. The attribution to Twain is obviously spurious because Twain's father died when the future writer was eleven years old.

• My father was a Saint Bernard, my mother was a Collie, but I am a Presbyterian.

  Mark Twain

  Mother, Dog, Father

• More than once I have been humiliated by my resemblance to God the father; He is always longing for the love of His children and trying to get it on the cheapest and laziest terms He can invent.

  Mark Twain

  God, Children, Father

• The average American may not know who his grandfather was. But the American was, however, one degree better off than the average Frenchman who, as a rule, was in considerable doubt as to who his father was.

  Mark Twain

  Funny, Father, Humor

• By his father he is English, by his mother he is Americanto my mind the blend which makes the perfect man.

  Mark Twain

  Mother, Father, Men

  Mark Twain (1992). “Collected tales, sketches, speeches & essays”

• There is nothing in either savage or civilized history that is more utterly complete, more remorselessly sweeping than the Father of Mercy´s campaign among the Midianites. The official report deals only in masses, all the virgins, all the men, all the babies. all ´creatures that breathe,´ all houses. all cities. It gives you just one vast picture ...as far as the eye can reach, of charred ruins and storm-swept desolation... Would you expect this same conscienceless God, this moral bankrupt, to become a teacher of morals, of gentleness, of meekness, of righteousness, of purity?

  Mark Twain

  Teacher, Baby, Father

• My father and I were always on the most distant terms when I was a boy--a sort of armed neutrality, so to speak. At irregular intervals this neutrality was broken, and suffering ensued; but I will be candid enough to say that the breaking and the suffering were always divided up with strict impartiality between us--which is to say, my father did the breaking, and I did the suffering.

  Mark Twain

  Father, Boys, Broken

  Mark Twain (2014). “Short Stories And Sketches (Annotated Edition)”, p.395, Jazzybee Verlag

• I used to think my father was an idiot, until I turned twenty-one... Then I thought he was a genus.

  Mark Twain

  Father, Thinking, Twenties

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