Patton Oswalt Quotes

Quotes about:

• So when you spot violence, or bigotry, or intolerance or fear or just garden-variety misogyny, hatred or ignorance, just look it in the eye and think, 'The good outnumber you, and we always will.'

  Patton Oswalt

  Inspirational, Positive, Fear

  "Celebrity Bostonians react to bombings" by Brandon Griggs, www.cnn.com. April 16, 2013.

  47 Copy quote

• The idea of, 'The journey is the destination' is put into action by browsing in an indie record store. Besides, a human being is a much better guide than a 'More Like This' link on the internet.

  Patton Oswalt

  Journey, Ideas, Records

  51 Copy quote

• I fantasize and idealize myself as Bugs Bunny, but I know deep down I'm Daffy Duck.

  Patton Oswalt

  Ducks, Daffy Duck, Bunnies

  Interview with Ken P., www.ign.com. April 5, 2006.

  25 Copy quote

• Is it bad when you refer to all alcohol as "Pain Go Bye-Bye Juice"?

  Patton Oswalt

  Pain, Bye, Heartache

  26 Copy quote

• You have to be ruthless with yourself, in terms of being honest about what is working and what is not.

  Patton Oswalt

  Honest, Being Honest, Ruthless

  "Patton Oswalt Talks TRAGEDY PLUS COMEDY EQUALS TIME, Doing Another Stand-Up Special, Preparing to Shoot Live Performances & Upcoming TV Guest Spots". Interview with Christina Radish, collider.com. January 16, 2014.

  19 Copy quote

• If you hit a midget on the head with a stick, he turns into 40 gold coins.

  Patton Oswalt

  Gold, Coins, Sticks

  28 Copy quote

• I want to experience as many different tastes, sights, emotions, conflicts, and cultures as possible, so that I can expand the canvas of my memory and enrich my comedy.

  Patton Oswalt

  Memories, Sight, Different

  Patton Oswalt (2011). “Zombie Spaceship Wasteland: A Book by Patton Oswalt”, p.146, Simon and Schuster

  25 Copy quote

• Meal isn't over when I'm full. Meal's over when I hate myself.

  Patton Oswalt

  Hate, Meals, Stand Up Comedian

  19 Copy quote

• We would not be here if humanity were inherently evil. We'd have eaten ourselves alive long ago.

  Patton Oswalt

  Long Ago, Evil, Humanity

  Patton Oswalt @pattonoswalt, www.facebook.com. April 16, 2013.

  11 Copy quote

• What you want to worship above youth, I think, is beauty, and beauty is so beyond just appearances after a while. Because you can be with someone who's good-looking; if they open their mouths and they're an idiot, then they cease to be beautiful very quickly.

  Patton Oswalt

  Beautiful, Thinking, Mouths

  13 Copy quote

• Cheap liquor is a magic potion that can turn you into a puppet cowboy before it kills you.

  Patton Oswalt

  Cowboy, Magic, Puppets

  14 Copy quote

• Knowing comedy is knowing human nature.

  Patton Oswalt

  Knowing, Comedy, Human Nature

  Source: collider.com

  12 Copy quote

• You can be an amateur and have a passion for something, but it takes a long time to actually become a professional, meaning that you can handle any situation.

  Patton Oswalt

  Passion, Long, Situation

  "Patton Oswalt Talks TRAGEDY PLUS COMEDY EQUALS TIME, Doing Another Stand-Up Special, Preparing to Shoot Live Performances & Upcoming TV Guest Spots". Interview with Christina Radish, collider.com. January 16, 2014.

  11 Copy quote

• I've had some pretty good arguments with people, but I've never regretted it. I've had people come up where it's all emotion and no fact. That's always sad.

  Patton Oswalt

  People, Facts, Emotion

  5 Copy quote

• Growing up there are always those kids who are only happy when they are making someone else upset. That is unfortunately just how some people are. Some people are just born with bad wiring.

  Patton Oswalt

  Growing Up, Kids, People

  Source: www.avclub.com

  11 Copy quote

• We need conservatives that can accept gays, and then we need hippies that can shave and bathe.

  Patton Oswalt

  Hippie, Gay, Needs

  11 Copy quote

• I identify myself as a stand-up first. Even though lately there's been an explosion of acting on my schedule.

  Patton Oswalt

  Acting, Schedules, Firsts

  Source: www.esquire.com

  15 Copy quote

• It's like our country is being run by a bunch of bad alcoholic dads right now.

  Patton Oswalt

  Running, Country, Dad

  9 Copy quote

• I have a very tiny house in Burbank. I drive an 8-year-old car. I'm gonna drive it into the ground. I enjoy what I enjoy.

  Patton Oswalt

  Years, Car, House

  Interview with Kyle Ryan, tv.avclub.com. July 12, 2007.

  10 Copy quote

• Zombies can't believe the energy we waste on nonfood pursuits.

  Patton Oswalt

  Believe, Zombie, Energy

  Patton Oswalt (2011). “Zombie Spaceship Wasteland: A Book by Patton Oswalt”, p.98, Simon and Schuster

  5 Copy quote

• Lot of ugly funny dudes end up with some pretty gorgeous women. Women are much deeper than us in choosing a mate - they see in the long term.

  Patton Oswalt

  Long, Ugly, Gorgeous

  10 Copy quote

• Having enough money has to go hand in hand with living in a way that you're not being a slave to your possessions.

  Patton Oswalt

  Hands, Way, Slave

  Interview with Kyle Ryan, www.avclub.com. July 12, 2007.

  10 Copy quote

• I'm still very much an atheist, except that I don't necessarily see religion as being a bad thing. So, that's a weird thing that I'm struggling with that seems to be offending both atheists and people that are religious.

  Patton Oswalt

  Religious, Atheist, Struggle

  Interview with Genevieve Koski, www.avclub.com. August 31, 2011.

  7 Copy quote

• If the victories we create in our heads were let loose on reality, the world we know would drown in blazing happiness.

  Patton Oswalt

  Reality, Victory, World

  Patton Oswalt (2011). “Zombie Spaceship Wasteland: A Book by Patton Oswalt”, p.57, Simon and Schuster

  7 Copy quote

• Anything's better than Gen X which is what we got. Thanks Douglas Coupland. We sound like a team of mutant vigalantees with frosted hair and chain wallets. Actually that's not completely horrible.

  Patton Oswalt

  Team, Hair, Sound

  Patton Oswalt (2011). “Zombie Spaceship Wasteland: A Book by Patton Oswalt”, p.4, Simon and Schuster

  4 Copy quote

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