Zodiac&#39; Houses

Allamyrat Tuyliyev

Zodiac' Houses

Allamyrat Tuyliyev

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Allamyrat Tuyliyev Professor Lori Martin Composition I – 0869 29 April 2014 The Houses of Zodiacs’ Dream The end of the world on December 21, 2012, which most modern astrologists had been predicting, did not happen. Can you imagine how deeply were disappointed those babes in the woods, who had believed to the astrologists, built the shelters and waited for zombies to show up, or natural disasters to occur, but woke up alive on the morning of December 22. But then, people are not to blame for their naivety; for many centuries their ancestors listened for the predictions of the astrologists, who established a set of systems including the horoscope signs, which bases on the particular movements of the stars and planets to predict the events on our planet. For example, according to Understanding Science, which is a project of the UC Museum of Paleontology of the University of California at Berkeley, “some forms of astrology predict that a person born just after the spring equinox is particularly likely to become an entrepreneur.” And there are people, who follow their horoscope predictions carefully with a strong faith in the powers of the zodiac. On the other hand, there are “non-believers” like me, who read their horoscopes for fun, not because they believe in predictions. But, if our personalities depend on the specific positions of the stars, and characteristics of zodiac signs are accurate, I will base on those astrological predictions to give a shot at foreknowing something that majorly depends on the personality of the horoscope signs, like the houses. Throughout the life, the impulsive “fire” horoscope signs, Aries, Leo and Sagittarius, tend to be the first, so I will start with them. If bioengineering will find a way to extract the human kinetic energy, the energy which it possesses due to the motion, and convert it into electricity, the amount of kinetic energy of all the Aries gathered together can solve the problems with energetics around the globe for a while. According to TV Tropes Foundation, one of the most famous Aries, an actor and producer Jackie Chan, “has dislocated his pelvis, broken his fingers, toes, nose, both cheekbones, hips, sternum, neck, ankle and ribs on numerous occasions.” Staying in a quiet cottage will be dangerous for restless Aries, who can die of boredom; he will prefer to live in a big city nearby friends, to spend his enormous amount of energy. The royal nature of Leo, another “fire” zodiac, will reject a small apartment, where he will feel himself like in the cell. Hence, most likely the starts tempted the 44th President of the United States, Barack Obama, who is, actually, Leo, to run for the White House. Leo will dream of a large, spacious house with a fireplace and other luxuries, since the true king must live like royalty! Thankfully, The Act Prohibiting Importation of Slaves of 1807 ended the Slavery Era in the United States, which is why Leo will have to clean his house himself. But even then, Leo will expect you praise him for his thriftiness with already ready answer, "Oh, do not even mention it." The most impulsive “fire” sign, Sagittarius, loves freedom. Online library, Murderpedia, contains an article about one Sagittarius, Ted Bundy, an infamous killer and necrophile, who loved freedom so much that starved himself in jail to sneak through the air ducts. His desire can be justified; the stars and planets always tempt Sagittarius to escape from the four walls. A house of his dream can be successfully replaced by a one-room tent, for he can successfully persuade the guests to go somewhere else. He is not the best housekeeper, so his apartment is almost always a "holy mess," where he will coordinate perfectly, and, as a Sagittarius, I can support the last statement. Have you ever heard, “Beware of a silent dog and still water”? The true representatives of this proverb are zodiacs of the “water” element, Cancer, Pisces, and Scorpio. But their humor cannot be unnoticeable; humor of “water” element can be pretty off the wall sometimes. A comedian and actor, Eddie Griffin, is a good example of cheerful Cancer. This horoscope sign loves comfort, so he will prefer the old-fashioned house. Cancer is a "designer himself," and his house will be a little cozy. At least, Cancer will try to make it so. He will try to create his own microclimate, where he will always feel good and safe. But after waking up on a pile of dirt, Cancer will be moaning that this unpleasant duty of cleaning thrown off at him. After not finding the understanding and support from his family or friends, he will wear rubber gloves and cotton-gauze bandage, and gently, with two fingers, will start his cleaning. The article “Scorpio: The Powerful Politicians & the Transformative CEOs” notes that another “water” sign, Scorpio, is under influence of Mars, which “represents [their] ability to act based on [their] desires, to remain who [they] are in the face of pressure and adversary.” Which actually completely explains the actions of Charles Manson, an American criminal and musician, who based on his own desires. At the same time, Scorpio will tend to make his house a safe place for himself, a kind of a fortress that will bear the stamp of his own personality. But when it will get to the cleaning of his castle, the first thing Scorpio will do is to hate entire humanity for its failure to keep his house clean. But while cleaning his house, Scorpio will be truly surprised to find out that the majority of the garbage is his own. Whether in conversation or in crime, Pisces are marvelously charming buddies or partners. Career of Rihanna, an American singer, started in 2005 from bottom, which is a duet song with Vybz Kartel, and since then Rihanna has a huge success by singing in duet with Eminem, Wale and Chris Brown. Pisces will try to settle in the spacious houses next to the pond and with an aquarium in it. After settling in, he will surround himself with the little precious and shiny things. For this, most mysterious character, cleanliness and comfort are the most important concepts. However, when the “Judgment Day” of comes, Pisces will most likely float back, force and around the trash, not knowing what to do. Finally, he will sweep the garbage with his left flipper out of the window and will act like he did not even notice anything. The calm “earth” zodiacs, Taurus, Virgo, and Capricorn, since early childhood dream to become the dark lords, but when they found out that their dreams wouldn’t come true, they promised themselves that they would be revenged. The most patient of the “earth” signs is Taurus, who is more stubborn than a stone. In 1917, one stubborn Taurus, Vladimir Ilyich Lenin, achieved his dreams to become a dark lord; the father of Soviet Union’s communism kept his promise and became a dictator, even though some people saw him as “a tireless champion of the working class.” (Famous Birthdays) Taurus, as a nostalgic person with an unhurried pace of life, will prefer a house located in the quiet outskirts, away from the highway. When it will come to cleaning, Taurus will just watch it from his sofa, even though the mess around him offends his practical and intelligent feelings. After making sure that no one else will clean it for him, grunting Taurus will leave his cozy sofa and slowly will take care of it. Virtually Virgo loves convenience and prefers solitude. But the apartment of Virgin is never messy, and if there is a trash, it is logical to assume that this is some kind of alien trash, because Virgin would never leave it there. After he will find that trash, undoubtedly, he will clean everything around within a range of a nuclear explosion. After cleaning the house twice a day, my mother and sister, who are Virgo, in order to recover the spent energy, most likely to spend the rest of the day by monotonically abusing me and dad for not cleaning the house ourselves. Another “grounded” sign, Capricorn, is the strangest sign, for it is impossible to know what is going on in his mind. The examples of Capricorn’ weirdness are Jim Carrey, a famous American performer of pretty odd movie roles, and PSY, a Korean signer of bizarre Gangnam Style. Even though he sings in Korean and you have no idea what is he talking about, according to YouTube, Gangnam Style is still the world’s most watched YouTube video of all time. Due to his secretiveness, Capricorn will prefer a "Haunted Castle" – something gloomy, without the hustle and bustle. But even if life forced him to live in an urban area, he will try to equip his apartment or room so as to create a sense of security and isolation. If necessary, he will hang at the windows dark blackout curtains, light a candle, and turn on his favorite music. This will create the illusion of complete isolation from the outside world, for this is necessary to Capricorn sometimes. The last Zodiac signs, Gemini, Libra, and Aquarius, belong to the “air.” Loving change and diversity, Gemini often changes his place of residence, and loves all the unusual and extravagant, like the pictures of dead people. According to an astrologer John Williams, people are most likely to perceive Gemini as erratic or superficial person, “but they are really just practical, empathetic and sensitive.” He absolutely cannot, especially in the summer, live through stuffiness, for he is fan of fresh air and air conditioners. When Gemini finally smells something so stinky in the house that does not allow him to continue Internet surfing, he will begin “googling” the ways to solve the problem. During the research, of course, he will completely forget about the trash that will continue to safely decompose and stink up until Virgo or someone else will not do it for him. The house of the most sociable sign, Libra, will be always full of friends. But do not touch Libra with your cleaning or garbage, even if it is a year old. His thoughts are busy discovering the hidden philosophy of postmodernism, and you will not be able to convince him that garbage it is not just an illusion. By the way, Libras are pretty successful in philosophy; Friedrich Nietzsche, Lewis Beck, Richard Brandt and many other philosophers were Libras. However, I doubt whether their wives were happy with their passion. Most likely, to avoid their wives’ attacks, Libras would leave into a dead nirvana. The last sign, Aquarius, has a great imagination and loves originality. Depending on the area he chooses, Aquarius will develop his own originality in this area or will come up with something new. Charles Darwin, the “father” of evolutionary theory; Charles Dickens, an astounding English writer; Christian Dior, a fragrance giant; and Matt Groening, a creator of beloved “The Simpsons”, are the great examples of Aquarius’ creativity and originality. So, every time when you will come to visit him, do not be surprised to see the furniture changing its place. Furthermore, even though Aquarius is a very practical man, it will be pretty hard for him to get rid of the garbage, where he will find a big set of useful and inspiring things. You might be Aquarius by horoscope, but act as quirky as Sagittarius. We are different, but we have one thing in common – we need a little faith. Some of us follow the words of God, others let the money flow into their life, and there are babes in the woods, who look up in the sky for the answers. Yet, I have met radical religious people, and I have seen money hungry people; however, I have never heard of zodiac hunger or horoscope radicals. As long as there is a hope in the bright eyes of those naïve people, following their horoscopes, it does not matter what their zodiac sign is, they have chosen the safest path to faith. And I would say to “non-believers”, like me, following the horoscope makes your life brighter and attentive to details. Moreover, it adds a sense of humor to your life. As a British writer, Arthur C. Clarke, once said, “I don't believe in astrology; I'm a Sagittarius and we're skeptical.” Works Cited: "WHAT'S YOUR SIGN? THE SCIENCE BEHIND THE ZODIAC." Introduction for Astrology. Center for Science Education, n.d. Web. 08 May 2014. "Alcohol Horoscopes." Alcohol Horoscopes. California State University, Northridge, n.d. Web. 08 May 2014. "∇troperville." RSS. TVtropes, n.d. Web. 08 May 2014. "Ted Bundy Facts." Criminals. Famous Birthdays, n.d. Web. 08 May 2014. "Eddie Griffin Facts." Comedians. Famous Birthdays, n.d. Web. 08 May 2014. "Scorpio: The Powerful Politicians & The Transformative CEOs." Zodiacal. WordPress, n.d. Web. 08 May 2014. "Charles Manson." Murderpedia, the Encyclopedia of Murderers. Murderpedia, n.d. Web. 08 May 2014. "Most Viewed Videos (150M+ Views)." YouTube. YouTube, n.d. Web. 08 May 2014 "SIGNS FROM ABOVE." RVCC's Student Newspaper. The Record, n.d. Web. 08 May 2014. "Famous Libra Men." Personality Traits & Characteristics. The Famous People, n.d. Web. 08 May 2014. "Libra Philosophers | Famous Birthdays." Libra Philosophers. Famous Birthdays, n.d. Web. 08 May 2014. "Famous Aquarius Celebrities." Famous Aquarius People. Star Signs, n.d. Web. 08 May 2014. "Astrology Quotes and Sayings." Astrology Quotes and Sayings. Quotes Garden, n.d. Web. 08 May 2014. Tuyliyev 7

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