Happy Birthday Natalie & Aubrey

Today you turn 12 which means in 365 days I will have teenagers. This is shocking to me and also scares me for a couple of reasons...

#1: I'm not ready for you to not like me. You still both like to hang out with you parents and you prefer if no other siblings besides the two of you are with us. Natalie you still are trying to find a way to attach yourself to me and since you haven't figured out a way to do that in the last 12 years you instead try to be me. We battle but not because you don't like me but because I don't spend every waking minute with you. As much as I want some distance I still really think it's cool that you both enjoy your mom and dad and I have a feeling at some point during your teen years this may change.

#2: Hormones. I can't deal with kids whining or throwing fits as they do when they are toddlers or even school age so there is no way I am going to handle the slamming of doors, eye rolls, pure crabbiness or the tears that come with teenagers over silly things as not having pants to wear. Yes, I know about this because I can tell you during my teen years I cried many school mornings because I had no pants that I liked to wear to school and I am sure Grandma Pat still remembers these mornings very well! Dealing with teen emotions is something I am going to have to find the patience for during the next 12 months.

#3: Your wings are continuing to stretch til you will someday fly. You have heard mom and dad joke about what life would be like without kids and though it is fun to day dream about how we could be off on vacations or go out to dinner anytime we want the reality is we would be miserable. The joy that all 7 of you kids bring to our family is something we won't be able to truly grasp for many years and may be even more pronounced as you all leave home. I am not ready to not see you every day or to see you interact with your brothers and sisters. I like knowing what is going on in your life and I know as you become teenagers your wings start to open even more than they already are. You will begin to have a life that doesn't include mom and dad as much. Yes, you will come to us when you need money or really need a ride somewhere but you will take on a life that your mom and dad will not be included in all of the details. It is part of parenting that I know I have to let happen but it scares me. I do pray that the two of you continue to have the relationship you have always had. If you hang onto one another you will always have a person to turn to even when your mom and dad have no clue what life is like today since we are so old. I am not ready for you to gain your wings of independence but I will slowly let you open them a tad bit wider because I know you have the values, the will and the drive to do so many good things in life. Don't loose who you are to the pressures you will run into during your teen years because you are someone so special.

#4: I am not ready for you to lose your innocence. I truly believe the choice we made years ago to send you to a small Catholic school has really kept your innocence longer and I love this. I am not naive but I am not ready for you to have to handle this big world we live in. I would keep you living in the land of unicorns and rainbows forever if I could because some of the things you will go through will be tough and as a mom I want to protect you from all of this.

Natalie & Aubrey the last 12 years I have grown into someone else than I was even the day prior to your birth. On April 2, 2008 I got the title of mom but you and your siblings have helped me grow and change into the mom and person I am today. I can't wait to look back in 5, 10 and even 15 years and see how much more I change because of the joys and trials I get to experience because of you. Continue to fly baby girls because you are both amazing, beautiful and God-loving and I am so proud of both of you.

Happy 7th Birthday Babies

August 9th comes once again which means you are another year older. You are now 7 and this simply feels right. This year is different than other years, in that I am not sad you are no longer babies though you once again are a year older but still remain the "babies" when we speak of you. I am liking the freedom of having our youngest be 7; we can go to places and not constantly worry that you are going to wonder off, we can enjoy a meal in which mom & dad are able to talk to one another and even sit next to each other, we can be doing stuff in the house knowing you are just fine playing outside even if we haven't seen you in an hour and you have reached an age to go away to camp for an entire week without mom & dad. You are all growing up and we are finding a new kind of independence. We see this more and more as we spend time with family and friends who have kids younger than us and I have to say I like where we are at.

But oh don't let me fool you and paint a perfect picture of the four of you because we still have those days when we wonder how you can possibly be 7...like today for instance when bedtime could not come soon enough. You still get overtired and cranky if you stay up too late which was the exact kind of day we had today from staying way too late at the fair last night. We also have to remind you that you are 7 when we go into stores and you have to touch everything, or the multiple times a day we have to tell you to keep your hands off one another, or the constant tattling, or the fighting over toys. The words "you know better, you are almost 7" has become a frequent line around our house this summer and I think its because you show us so much independence one moment and the next you have us shaking our heads. 

In the years past I have taken a moment to write a paragraph about each of you but what I have come to realize this year is that the personality and type of person I would describe for each of you is the same personality I have described for the last 6 years. Your major qualities and traits have stood out from the very beginning and continue to make you the person that you are at age 7.

Kenzie you remain feisty and there is nothing you won't do especially if someone tells you that you can't. I wouldn't say you are a tom boy but I would say you are strong, athletic, so very fast, full of gratitude, optimistic, happiest in workout clothes, a thumb sucker, a cuddlier of your blanket, one who loves her mom & dad, a helper always looking for ways to help and one who follows through, our littlest, loves to know she looks most like mommy and happy to be known as peanut. 

Isabella you continue to be our princess, even more so than even Natalie. You my baby girl are beautiful, have a smile that lights up your whole face, have a stomp that can be heard from the kitchen all the way to your room on the second floor, have a talent for coloring and drawing, a gift giver, compassionate, a caregiver which will help you immensely as you have your 10 girls & 10 boys when you grow up, can fall asleep faster than anyone in the car but maybe I notice this because if you are awake than you talk non stop telling me all the different things you see, dramatic and lover of airplanes & mom's work helicopters.

Tate you continue to want to be 2 years older than you are but you are one great little boy. You are competitive, a lover of sports while tolerable of school, a hummer, an eater of fruit and always start your day off with a banana before doing anything else, cocky, happiest outside, loud, a fidgeter and simply just wanting to be Drew's twin. 

Rylan when I think of you I still have to laugh. You are so different than all of the other kids. You are a thinker and observer, could care less about sports but will sit in front of the television for hours and not say a word, sneaky, smart, mischievous, quiet unless you want mom and dad to yell at one of your siblings, uncoordinated, a finder of money at every single store we go to and I still say you will be an engineer or a professional pick pocketer. 

As I said earlier, today was rough. So much so that we still have gifts to open tomorrow when attitudes display that you are truly 7, but we did take the time to watch your birth video. I once again had tears that needed to be wiped away. It is the video that I have watched more than any other movie and I know the ending but it gets me every time. One would think its because I am watching 4 of my children being born but it is so much more than that. It starts with a prayer that I said out loud with all of the medical staff in the OR. From the very beginning of my pregnancy I had to turn it all over to God because it was too much for me and I knew I needed Him to continue to be with me in that OR 7 years ago. Then I look at myself and how calm I was. From the moment I was wheeled out of my room on the high risk floor I did not have fear. Maybe I was naive but I truly felt the most peace in those 20 minutes than I did the entire pregnancy. I see the quivering of my lips as I have done with each of my deliveries as my body does the most amazing job a women's body is able to do. I see the tear slide down my eye as I hear dad tell me "Drew has a brother" with a tremble in his voice as Tate is born. This excitement is so different than the fear I hear in your dad's voice throughout the beginning of the video. He was so scared and was so out of his element but he stayed strong for me and each of you and he showed his love for all of us as his finger brushed across my check at different times during the 2 minutes we waited as the doctors reached Baby A. And then as you were each born there was such a joy in that delivery room. The joy of  you being born wasn't just felt by mom and dad, it was felt by the doctors who saw us weekly for over 20 weeks, it was felt by the hospital staff who prepared for the day you would arrive, it was felt by your grandparents, aunts, uncles and family friends who waited outside pacing back and forth in the hallway waiting to hear how all 5 of us were doing. The night of August 9th will always remain a night I wish I could relive one more time because that night everything in the world just felt perfect and I am able to feel it every time I watch the video that dad took in the OR 7 years ago. 

Kenzie, Isabella, Tate & Rylan...the other night Natalie, Aubrey and I were reading a book we have been going though together and it talked about cultural trends and how sometimes what is "normal" is not what God intended for us. We started talking about cultural trends and how it affects our family in regards to electronics, sleep overs and rules. I then told them how I really questioned God when we got pregnant with 4 babies. I explained to them how I worried what others would think of us having such a large family when most people had 2-3 children and dealt with a lot of guilt and fear during my pregnancy. I then went on to tell them how thankful I am that we aren't part of the cultural trend when it comes to family size because I could not imagine not having all 4 of you as part of our family. The 4 of you add so much joy to our life and even on the days when we can not wait to tuck you in we are so happy you are part of us. 

Happy 7th Birthday Babies and here's to presents and 

cake on the day after your birthday!!! 

Last single digit year for our "single"

You are 9 and you say it with the biggest smile ever. I asked you why you're so exciting to turn 9 and you giggled and said I don't really know. It just goes along with your enthusiasm for life. You continue to be happy majority of the time with a good fit thrown in occasionally for good measure. You are growing up faster that I want you too but I have learned that I can not slow down the years. You love life, you love being with others, you have patience for those who are younger than you and you still love to spend time with your mama.

You have been an easy child for me since the day you were born. Going from 2 to 3 was a piece of cake. The main reason being that from day one you just went along with the flow. It is nothing that Mom and Dad did, it is simply your personality. You have a tendency to get along with everyone whether it's your classmates at school, your teammates on the ball field or your brothers and sisters. You don't have favorites but instead you divide and conquer because you are often wanted by many siblings at the same time. You will go jump with Tate for a while on the trampoline, then you will go swim with Kenzie and then you're back to playing catch with Tate. Seldom do we see you off playing by yourself unless you are overtired and then everyone drives you nuts. A tired Drew means a Drew that is not fun to be around and who is in tears.

You continue to be my child who loves sports. You give it your all every time you are out on the field. Never is it too hot or too long or are you losing by too much that it is no longer fun. You are always out there with a smile on your face and a cheer for your team. We don't agree in participation awards in our family but, you son, always deserve an award for giving it your all. I pray you will always keep this attitude whenever it comes to anything competitive because it will take you far.

Last month you celebrated your 1st communion. This was a day you had been looking forward to for over a year. Around Christmas you started counting down each Sunday and we could see your excitement build as the day got closer and closer. The morning of your communion you came downstairs and you couldn't wait to put on your suit because today was the day you were receiving Jesus through the Eucharist. Even Father Phil talked about your enthusiasm in his homily and how as adults we often forget how amazing it is that each Sunday we receive Christ. I don't think for a minute you were nervous and instead realized how important the sacrament was that you were taking part in. When you got back to the pew though you did tell me the host tasted like paper and the wine like vinegar! Drew, I was so proud of you that Sunday and I do pray that you will always remember that Jesus is with you.

Nine years passes so quickly. I still remember when Natalie and Aubrey came to the hospital the very first time to see their Bop-Bop and now here we are in your final year of being single digits. I wonder if becoming two digits will be as exciting for you as it was for your sisters. But for now we are just going to hang out here and see what the year 9 has in store for you. Love you Drew Bear and thank you for not being embarrassed yet that I call you this in front of your friends and I know this for a fact because you wanted it written on your name tag at Vacation Bible School this week!!

Happy 9th Birthday Drew

Happy Birthday to my Babies

You are still the babies. Each year I think the term "babies" will get replaced in our house with a word such as the little kids or the quads or something that groups you together but today you all turn six and you are still the babies. We don't use that word to imply that you are still little ones in diapers, or needing us to make you a bottle or pushing you everywhere in a stroller. Instead the word is used as a way for us to say "Kenzie, Isabella, Tate and Rylan" in one single word instead of 5. I know people often laugh when I still call you the babies but I just can't imagine calling you anything else even though you are big kids who are entering kindergarten in just 4 days.

I am at a complete loss at how we went from hearing the doctors say we will be delivering in the next 48 hours to having all of my children in elementary school. They say the days are long but the years short and it completely describes the last 6 years. It flew and in a way it saddens me that my youngest children are 6. My days as a mom to babies is gone. My days as a mom to toddlers are gone. My days as a mom to preschoolers have also left. But all that said I can not wait to be the mom to 4 kiddos who are so excited to tell me what they learned in school, what art project they did, who brought which treat for their birthday snack. This is a year when you will all learn and grow so much and I am excited to be the mom who gets to witness all of it.

Tater Tot
Oh buddy you are only turning 6 but if you had a magical way to be turning 8 you would be. The first glimpse I got of  you at 10:26pm six years ago after realizing you were a little boy were "he looks just like Drew." This statement couldn't be more accurate because you are your brothers idol and want to be everything he is. You love sports like him. You love playing rough like he does. You love being outside. You do NOT like anything risk taking or extreme though. You will ride your dirt bike all day but don't ask you to tube behind a boat because you will tell everyone you are just find driving it! You know what you are comfortable with and you do not care to try anything out of this zone even if Drew is having a blast. You are 100% boy in everything you do. We are really looking forward to you starting school because mom and dad can see you struggling with going from a little kid to a big kid. You have many tears through the day because you just aren't sure how to handle your emotions. If something is hard for you- you cry. If something isn't fair- you cry. If someone is bugging you- you cry. This wears on us and we both feel being in a classroom with a teacher who is not mom or dad will be so helpful for you. Tate, you are so loved and though you are much taller than most 6 year olds I cannot wait to see you grow this year as a kindergartner. I don't think school will be easy for you academically but we know you will do amazing things when it comes to anything on the field!

Izzybella
I am sure this will be the year that you figure out when you say your name it is Isabella and not Izzybella but if not I am just fine with you continuing to tell people you are Izzybella. I know it causes confusion to some because they aren't sure what you just said but mama loves it. Your brother Tate is 100% boy and you are 100% girl. Unicorns, baby dolls, frills, hair accessories, jewelry, painted nails. These things are all you. I use to think you took after Natalie because you are so much like her. You are independent and often have your mind made up and will argue your stand until mom tells you to stop many times over. You are the calmest one of our kids until you are not and then you leave the room because you know you are going to throw a fit and prefer to do that alone. You are smart, just like Natalie, and it comes easy for you because you soak up the knowledge. In the last year though I have realized you have so much of Aubrey in you too. You love doing art and are found daily sitting at the kitchen table coloring. You love animals and will often have the cats laying in your arms like babies even though 2 of them won't come near mom or dad. You have a love for your friends that amazes me at such a young age. You will be our social butterfly. One of the highlights of your day is when you can make or give a gift to one of your friends. I cannot even tell you how many days you brought things to preschool this last year whether it was a bead necklace you made, a coloring, a stuffed animal or a book to give to a friend. You are a giver and I love that about you. Boo you are ready for this next year. You are ready to be taught. You want to be part of the school your brother and sisters attend and I can't wait to see all of the friendships you make this year. I love you Izzybella!

Rylan
Our Baby D. I get the biggest smile on my face when I try to write about you! You my son are our mischievous one. Dad and I were talking last night about you and how you gave us the biggest scare when you were 24 hours old. For the next 9 months I just keep telling all of your therapist and doctors to just tell me you had CP. I could handle it and just wanted you to get the therapies you needed. They told me over and over you didn't have it and would be fine. I didn't believe them and would often cry because I just wanted you to be the best you could be in life. Oh how little faith I had! You started proving me wrong when you were the first to start walking and you continue to show me even today because of all the quads you are the smartest. You have a way of absorbing the world around you and this includes the television when we allow you to watch it. Our house could be burning down and you would have no clue if you were watching that dang tv! I believe you have a mind like your father's, a mind of an engineer. You see the world differently than your mom and you have a way of figuring things out. You also have an amazing way of being a shithead. This is said with so much love! We have said you have been one since right before delivery since you are the reason we delivered. This continued as a toddler when you would figure out how to steal a toy from a sibling but make it look like they tried stealing it from you. You continue, even at age 6, to hold this title. You will find a way to pick on a sibling but the minute you know you are going to get into trouble you come crying to us that someone did something to you. Two phrases that we would love to delete from your vocabulary are, "I don't knoooooow" & "okaaaay". Boy those 2 phrases coming from you are like nails on chalkboard. And don't even get started with daddy on your smirk! I am sure I will be hearing from your teacher this year because I am pretty sure you are up for challenging her in your mischievous ways. Rylan I am still betting on you being an engineer or a professional pick pocketer when you grow up and for some reason I think your smirk will follow you into your profession of choice.

 

 

Kenzie Rae
My sweet baby girl. You are the oldest and will tell everyone that when Tate tells them he is the biggest. You hold that Baby A title proudly and you do not let your size dictate anything you do. You are like your brother Drew in the sense that you have a zest for life. You love life as long as life gives you enough time to wake up. You remain my cuddle bug and love your time with mom and dad but this year you did finally give up the need to be carried but now you always come up and ask if you can hold my hand. Yes, you can baby girl as long as you need to. You do still give me one hour a week though in which I get to hold you tight and that is during mass. That is my time to love on my little girl. This year we realized that your love language is acts of service. What amazed me so much is that you also realized this and have come to understand the importance of gratitude when someone shows their love this way. You thank us so many times throughout the day and you are always the first child to say "thank you" which often has 6 other kids realizing they should be thankful. It amazes me how quickly in life you have realized how important it is to show gratitude to others but it goes along with who you are. Of all my kids you are the one I am not ready to have grow up. I would bottle you little forever if I could and I know your daddy would say the same. You don't let anything in life slow you down. You are an amazingly hard worker and don't stop until something is finished. You give your all when you are part of a team. You have a loyalty to your brothers and sisters and I know you will keep a watchful eye on everyone for me. Kenzie you were described as feisty when you were first born but I don't feel that has followed you through your first 6 years; instead I would say you are determined and full of life. You may get bigger this year but know you always have a place to cuddle with mom and dad. 

 

My babies, you are so excited for your day today. Rylan mom is sad because you will no longer hold up 5 1/2 fingers because you now get to extend that sixth finger all the way up. Today is about you; the 4 babies I turned over to God when I found out I was expecting you. I didn't think I could do it. Some days I still don't think I can but everyday I am so thankful that I get to be your mom. The 4 of you have made me a better person. You have taught me what is important in life. You allowed me to realize how amazing your daddy is and how much I love him. You blessed me in ways I could never have imagined 6 years ago starting at 10:24pm. Kenzie, Isabella, Tate & Rylan....you are 6 and so very loved.

Happy Birthday Babies