The Odd Couple A Beakerkin Tribute

The mighty Beakerkin Art Players Present

The Odd Couple   apologies to Neil Simon


Intro: On October 15 Felix Ducky was asked to leave. That request came from his wife. Deep down he knew she was right because everyone hates Commies. But someday he hoped to get back to her. With nowhere else to go he appeared at the home of his childhood friend Oscar Beakerkin.  Can two divorced men share an apartment without driving each other crazy.

Ducky: Look at this place its post modern landfill.
Beakerkin: See that is your problem always with the big mouth.
Ducky: I love my wife and miss my kids. It was a Zionist Conspiracy that we got divorced.
Beakerkin: You embarrassed the crap out of them by telling their Teacher Exodus is Zionist Propaganda.
Ducky: But Uris is the worst type of propagandist. He created a myth....
Beakerkin: Unfortunately  Comwad they were doing a school play about Moses.
Ducky: That is the biggest Zionist of them all. Separation of Church and state.
Beakerkin: The story that appealed to men in bondage everywhere. When your friend Paul Robeson the Fink was singing Let My People Go what was he singing about.
Ducky: So you are going to take the word of a Stalinist.
Beakerkin: How do you like that Y & R is offering me $50,000 to appear in an ad campaign.
Ducky: That is great and you can tell them that your official photographer is Felix Ducky. I could use the money. The connections to a huge ad agency can do wonders for my business.
Beakerkin: Not so fast comwad. The ad is for Hebrew National Salami
Ducky: Zionist artery clogging sewage....

Part II  to be contined

RIP Jack Klugman

I want to thank Jack Klugman for hours of entertaining us as Quincy and Oscar Madison. The original Odd Couple was the first TV show I loved as a kid in first run. There were other good shows like All in the Family, Sanford and Son, MASH and Happy Days but the first one that I loved as a kid was the Odd Couple. Off  screen Klugman and Tony Randall were best friends and would remain best friends for the remainder of his days. They are both gone but TV fans will always have them in reruns. I think Al Molinaro
and Penny Marshall are the only people associated with that show that are still with us.

Klugman was more of a straight actor and he found fame in Quincy. He played everyone's favorite Coroner
and Ducky from NCIS is a distant second. Quincy fought the system he cared and yes there was liberalism in the scripts but it was well written and entertaining. Quincy was what a good detective show should be about good writers, great actors and character development.

I hope that when you reach heaven that Tony Randal is there saying Oscar, Oscar, Oscar what took you so long.

Guns and the Beakerkin

I do not own a gun or plan to in the future I want to spend this Christmas Eve venturing into my past to a simpler time in the 70's. Elvis had a recent hit Suspicious Minds, Paul Harvey was on the radio and Casey Kasem was a newbie.

My family was in the Catskills and it was a magical place. I played with cousins in the woods. We picked pots of blueberries. I fished in the lake and caught a sunfish. my first fish. I learned to hit a baseball about the same time. We made go carts like the kids in the Little Rascals.

My grandfather was visiting and he was a favorite of the kids. He was a strong man who was gentle and rarely angry. He would say his wife's name and any argument stopped. He was a former cavalryman who fought in the 1920 war for Poland. He hated war and oddly horses and had more respect for the loving dog.

Rusty was mostly Sheppard and he was the best dog a kid ever could play with. We didn't realize it but the loving dog was herding us as we walked. He never needed a leash and would follow us through the woods.
He was a decent sized dog who just loved kids as opposed to the smaller dogs that didn't.  Rusty would protect us if a stray or a drug impaired hippie wandered by. His gentle demeanor would change and the hippies would stay far and he would transform back to Rusty.

My grandfather taught a young kid to shoot. It was a supervised activity and the message was very clear even for a young child. The gun is a serious tool only to be used to protect the family and your country. It was never to be picked up when angry or drunk. Practice was like craftsmanship and only paper targets, cans and bottles were acceptable targets. Even hunting for food was discouraged because a tasty chicken was cheap and easy. He would admire the grace of a passing deer and send a warning shot at a pack of stray dogs that were close. He would always send the shot just short.

Today this is what sickos like Michael Moore call gun culture. Shooters and crime don't have anything to do
with families teaching their kids to use a gun. It was part of growing up not too much different from learning
to swing and ax or use a circular saw.

I wish I could return to that era if only for an hour. People sat outside and played scrabble and made campfires. The food was fresh and handmade and the music was beautiful. Willie Mays was at the end and Booby Murcer was my hero. The tube radios pulled in baseball games as far away as Cleveland on some nights. There were a few radio shows still around and Cropsey stories. Grossingers was up the road and the Concord was going strong.

Blaming guns for media manufactured messes

The media has been in an Obaama inspired mania about gun control. You see the familiar pictures of Obama racing to the scene of another gun crime using the dead to push a message. Of course we see the familiar talk about gun control.
'
In the current era school shooters grasp that the media will turn the shooters into celebrities. The reason these shootings appear to rise is due to the 24/7 news culture. What America should be screaming back at the MSM is look at your own practices.

When The Musics Over Turn Out the Lights

Sometimes I am amazed at the way people face their final moments.A lifelong friend is in the final act and she is working until the end of next week. She has about a month or two more before the final curtain. I guess I would use my time differently like going back to the jungle one last time.

I guess all of us face the final curtain differently.

Obama wrong as usual

As usual Obama gets up in front of the camera and rails about guns. Once again guns are a convenient topic that the all knowing leader wants to discuss. Obama and his big media elite vampires campaign on every one of these mass killings in an effort to push an extreme agenda.

The real story in these mass killings is the failure of our mental health professionals to address a time bomb. All of these killers were well known to various mental health providers who were once again unaccountable and not under any investigation.

Dear Marc Goldberg

This is in response to your condescending BS article addressed to my nation on behalf of "all the sane persons of the planet".

Sane people usually grasp that they speak for nobody other than themselves. Your condescending rant about
the American people and our love for guns is full of stereotypes. As an Israeli you should be very familiar with the sort of rant you directed at my nation. I am the first to defend your country from this type of rant and will continue to do so. I also do not lecture Israelis or any other nation with democratically elected representatives about their internal politics. Those matters are reserved for those who live there each and every day. Were I to visit your country I would not comment or feign expertise that I do not posses about its people and legal traditions.

The issue is no longer gun control. It is your obnoxious tone  and disrespect for a country and its traditions. Even those who support gun control in theory have noted your condescending arrogance and ignorance of our traditions. A wiser man would apologize, but it is apparent you lack both the intelligence and the class to do so.

The so called American correspondent talks about Americans obsessed with guns. Americans are obsessed with all types of things if you don't believe me kindly visit Comicon, your local auto show or memorabilia store. Guns owned by collectors are almost always legally owned and very seldom ever involved in a crime.

It is clear you are not familiar with the American people and our legal traditions. I suggest you stop reading Huffington, Mother Jones and similar sites and do boots on the ground insight. Kindly, come to NYC and visit high crime areas, then get in your car and watch and listen to the people around you. Spend some time in a small town church, a truck stop and visit a NASCAR event. Unlike you I don't feign expertise in local matters when I travel and insist upon visiting strange places like barber shops, local markets and small stores.
The locals warmly remember my visit and have asked me to return multiple times. Unlike you I don't pass judgement on other people and enjoy my visits in a respectful manner. It also helps that apparently I eat like a local deity and share whatever odd foodstuffs are in my bag with the locals.

There are ways to discuss a point rationally and logically. Insulting and stereotyping people you are clearly
not familiar with is not a good idea. Kindly ask one of your socialized medical practitioners to remove the boot from your backside and try again.

Cliche Idiocy At Harry's Place

A prime example of outrageous cliche Anti- American bigotry is on display at Harry's Place. A Post by Marc Goldberg addressed to America and signed by all the sane people on the planet is on the current site.
Unsurprisingly, this is yet another mindless rant by a foreigner stereotyping Americans about the subject of guns and gun culture. What makes this rant unforgivable is that it was penned by an Israeli who should be very familiar with condescending ill informed rants from arrogant people who claim to speak for the entire planet.

I was hardly shocked by the brilliance of Michael Ezra who objected to the tone. He likely supports gun control and the substance but the tone is beyond acceptable. Those of you who read this know I am not a big second amendment guy. I do respect rural people who own guns and live in a culture where gun ownership is a rite of passage. I support the rights of homeowners to keep weapons locked up. In a home with severely mentally unstable residents this may not be a great idea. Maybe the time has come for national training and psychological testing. New gun owners would have to pass a test similar to a driving test with the focus on storage and maintenance.

The deranged comments about Americans obsessed with Guns comes from the American correspondent who seems to base his ill informed opinions of his countrymen based on Michael Moore films and Huffington.
Amazingly Gene, who is a dual national, fails to grasp what is so offensive about a post signed by all the sane people on the planet.

The topic of gun control is a serious issue that is best left for municipalities to decide for themselves.

I was glad to see many of the non Americans object to the tone and stereo types in the post.

Running For Office

I did ponder a run for local union office on a very low level. I found my name linked to insurgents when I am not one of those. The incumbents gave me a lecture and treated me like Judas. Then why don't you run with us. I pointed out I am running my own campaign as an independent on the lowest rungs. I endured attacks about my sex life. Pretty much in the mind of the incumbents if a man and woman are friends they must be sleeping together.

Of course a racial angle was added. Having an Indian family was added to a curious mix. The insurgents who  I have never met just happen to be white. Thus the insurgency is a white plot ...... The reason you have Indian family is because you are not a real Jew. If you were a real Jew .... This is quite a curious way to treat a supporter.

In essence I declined the nomination for the low post. Despite demonstrating once again that these charges flung at me by the union were incorrect I get accused of "being shady". If shady means that I think for myself 

then it is accurate. 

I do have some ideas that I would like to see implemented. I would like to have low level functionaries at every work site and one per every 50 employees. The functionaries would serve at the grass roots level as the face and ears of the union. They also would be conduits of information at the lowest level.

Well Done ESPN

First I want to say that all of us should root for people like RG3 who are positive and make watching the  NFL a great experience. The era of the "Black Quarterback" is a thing of the past. It is great if kids of all colors look up to RG3 or Tim Tebow as great role models.

The fact that an athlete has a spouse or fiance that is racially different is frankly not the business of the anyone
other then the athlete himself. We saw very little said about Tiki Barbers firet wife being Asian or second wife being white. Barber is a world class jerk and RG3 is a positive fun loving guy.

There is no evidence that RG3 is a Republican. If it were this is none of anyone's business. He certainly does not talk about this. The notion that requires all Blacks to think the same is racially offensive.

Certain athletes lend color and fun to the game. Martellus Bennet's off beat personality is certainly entertaining. At times the passion of a Brandon Jacobs led to problems but give me heart felt passion over apathy any day of the week.

True Cornballs like John Madden, Michael Strahan and Terry Bradshaw make the game fun. Lets enjoy the sport but also never forget it is entertainment. All of the above are mostly positive for the game.

RG3 and Big media BS

There is more racially tainted garbage from the elite MSM media aimed at RG3. The era of the Black QB thing is an era of the past. There are those who still prefer the classic drop back approach to the lightning in the bottle style of the athletic QB. Note that there were plenty of White QBs who moved around as well such as Fran Tarkenton, Steve Young and Joe Montana. There were a few Black pocket passers as well namely Doug Williams.

RG3 is having fun in a positive way and is entertaining. The complexion of his fiance and his alleged political leanings are his own business.

Of course when Rush Limbaugh made remarks that offended some about Donovan McNabb he was run out
of football media. Do not expect the MSM to fire a writer over much nastier material.

I do not like the Redskins. However, I like RG3 and the fun and energy he brings to the game. He doesn't bad mouth others and is entertaining. People should be free to be themselves for better or worse. In the case of RG3 it is for better.

The side of the 80's not discussed

The latest institution to have issues with pedophilia scandals is Yeshiva Universities high school. Apparently, it had a couple of employees on staff with problems. Rather then prosecute these serial molesters they were encouraged to leave for other jobs.

What we are seeing from scandals with all type of organizations that the way things operated back then with child molesters was to kick the can down the road. There was the illusion that official X was doing important work and you did not want to ruin the career of X.

The abuse did not start magically in the 80's and appear out of thin air. In earlier times the people coming forward were likely seen as trouble makers. The priorities were to protect the institution at all costs and many of these scandals were likely not even investigated.

The history of the organizations charged are not summed up by their failures to respond to these problems. Many of the organizations did do much quality work in the communities they served.

Hopefully all of us grasp that kicking the can is no longer acceptable. All these allegations must be investigated by professionals and sometimes there will be false allegations. However, what is never acceptable is threatening or bribing victims as was done in the Satmar community.

Anti Child Abuse Activist Attacked

The antics of the Satmar community continue to get increasingly outrageous. Now Rabbi Nuchem Rosenberg who has been telling victims to go to the police has been attacked with Bleach. It is time for the politicians to step up and talk to the leaders of this community.

Weberman guilty

In a surprising verdict the jury found Satmar quack counselor Weberman guilty of pedophilia. The sentencing will be interesting and I hope he gets the maximum. He has expressed zero remorse and the community has intimidated the family of the victim.

I hope DA Charles Hynes gets his head out of his backside and offers deals to find out who was behind the intimidation of the victim and her family. What was the source of the 500,000 bribe? If it was the top leadership then it is time to place them on trial.

Of course the clueless followers will claim  the convicted is innocent. Sorry, but the days of covering up crimes are over.

Keep your eye out for a Presidential Pardon when Obama leaves office. This group supported Obama big time.

Limitations on private education.

In general I am an advocate of increased parental rights. However, the scandalous state of education in the Satmar community has changed my thinking. All students must be evaluated on standardized tests. The days of unemployable students must end.  Schools that consistently have students fail subsidized test close.

Schools need certified guidance counselors on staff. They must meet with every student for 30 minutes. The counselors must be trained by an appropriate institution and report child abuse.  Any student may request a confidential meeting with the guidance counselor.

Demand an end to Satmar Cult Bufoonery

Part of the problem with the Webberman trial is that it shed light into rather disgusting barbaric practices of the moronic Satmar cult. The Satmar is hated by the rest of the Jewish community.

The presence of a modesty patrol in the USA watching the clothing and social  life of young teenagers are disgusting. This if anything is a parental issue and not the business of self important freakazoid losers whose identity is unknown like KKK night riders. Now my religious relatives may be annoying and frumpy but this is not behavior they would condone or accept.

While I am critical of the therapy community the last person who should be involved with helping misguided teens is a circus clown like Weberman. Weberman has no training in this area and does not appear to have taken a single college course. He was a driver for a prominent person in the community.

The example of this communities reaction to the scandal shows clearly why this community is despised. Many faiths have dealt with child molestation. The Satmar alone have had an official spokesman call the victim a whore. The Satmar have tried to bully and then bribe the victim into silence. The Satmar abuse of the victim continues and is a warning to victims to suffer in silence or face additional abuse.

Compounding this scandal was the fact that the family of the victim was ordered to pay for the abuse so the victim could remain in Yeshiva. This part of the crime is particularly insidious and rises up to almost RICO proportions.

It is time for Gov Cuomo to get directly involved and order an investigation into the practices of this community. A community that has shown this type of intransigence and disrespect for the law and safety of children requires governmental intervention. The abuse scandals and reaction of cult leaders is more akin to Jim Jones and David Koresh then Judaism.

Where is AOW on this

The new reading list has taken classics out of the curriculum in favor of non fiction reading. It is important to convey the love of reading and To Kill A Mockingbird is precisely the type of book that imparts a love of the written word.

My daughter is an example of the new way that a love of reading gets imparted. Her grades in reading were always below grade level. She learned how to read by playing different types of video games that have extensive reading passages. The solution books are written on a reading level above grade level..

It is very important to impart a love of the written word early, The challenge has always been to hold the students attention. Assigning uninteresting non fiction tests in the guise of preparing students for work is exactly the wrong remedy.

If anything modern engaging classics need additional emphasis.

Best wishes to The Poor Mouth

I don't agree with my friend at the Poor Mouth much. However, he is a decent man who loves his cats and photography. His cat Ted the Evil looks like he is nearing the end of days. Ted is always good for a laugh
and a photo op.

Lets wish him and Ted the best

True evil never dies we remember mischievous felines with a smirk and a grudging respect. They are loved differently than a beloved dog. My Maltese follows me everywhere and even when I rest he is on my shoulder on the pillow. I remember when I had the flu how he followed me through multiple bathroom trips and kept the kids away while I slept. The dog was supposed to be a pet for my daughter but finds me more interesting. 

Demand a full Inquiry Into Satmar Community

There are those who have been looking to avoid justice in the Webberman case. The disgusting blaming of the victim by the Satmar Rebbe is the last straw. It is time to be blunt and confront this sick cult and their enablers head on.

Many organizations have failed the public and protected pedophiles. The Satmar alone have bullied the victim and it is enough. It is time the rest of us deal with this corrupt morally retarded cult directly. Demand Jewish charities cut off all aid and contact with the Satnar. Refuse to donate one penny until they are removed from the dole.

Lefties want to be like the EU welcome long term Unemployment

Lost in the deranged Obama administration's attempt to emulate the EU is the disastrous report of long term unemployment for college grads and abusing interning to get free labor. According to the leftist NYT 82 % of the jobs offered to grads in France are temporary.

Of course ditching socialism never gets discussed.

A Reminder from the Gay Community over why Progress has been Slow

Every now and then the aspect of obnoxious childish members of this community remind us of why progress has taken so long. Today's headline is a demand Bill Clinton should apologize for signing DOMA. Bill Clinton and Barak Obama are great at making stupid apologies to the wrong people. Why Bill Clinton apologized to Africa for slavery when it was a cultural norm there is beyond me. Any apology should be directed at Americans. FYI Indians should get the first apology, but sometimes even then bad choices like staking your future to poor leaders like Joseph Brandt should be understood.

Over time my position on gay issues has evolved. This evolution occurred by meeting and talking to gay coworkers, friends and people in my community. Sadly we miss former friends Rob Bayn and Justin Morris but their example of talking to reasonable people with humor and patience over time was part of conversations taking place everywhere.

I want to point out the deranged antics of the far left members hurt the cause. Why even involve gay issues with toxic causes like Mumia, Communism and Palestine especially when the latter has a clear record of abusing gays. The temper tantrum antics of Act Up interrupting mostly Catholic services and blaming Reagan for Aids caused years of damage.

There are those out there who do hate gays. Talking to people who have hatred in their heart is a waste of time. Black people should not talk to KKK clowns and Jews should have stopped talking to Marxists stooges long ago. The conversation should have been held with reasonable religious people and civil unions would have been a realistic compromise.

I want to point out even in places like Vermont and NYC the abuse and hostile attitude that some exhibit towards gays is shocking and frankly disgusting. The question is would you have lunch with a gay coworker.
My response was why not. I don't delve into the private lives of everyone I take to lunch. If I did I would not
sit in at a meal with Communists or Anarchists first as they are pariahs. Someone in Vermont concluded I was gay because I was asked what would you do if you found you were in a gay bar. Probably, finish my drink, hope they weren't playing Bette Midler music and go to a bar more suitable to my interests. The amount of animus from West Indians who would end your career for imagined racism in seconds is shocking.
The belief that women posses gaydar is common. Perhaps some of these guys that are labeled gay don't like high maintenance divas.

Over time I have come to support gay marriage, but I would prefer civil unions. I don't like laws that turn otherwise law abiding people into criminals. The law should have reasonable options for those who live diferently. No denomination should be forced to alter scripture or perform gay marriages. However, any denomination urging criminal violence against anyone should  be dealt with. Usually violence is more apt to come from Muslims or Marxists then the 700 Club viewers.

Stupid comments from far left freaks have hurt the cause way more then bigots because these comments make gays looked deranged. In truth the people I have come into contact with professionally are just not exceptional otherwise. They are the person in the office three doors away or the lively person at the laundromat.

More progress is made when reasonable people talk then from years of activist rants.

On the flip side, it is rare that Christians and Jews who oppose gay marriage do so out of hate. One can see it in the tone and deal with it accordingly. Never apologize for being yourself, but understand reasonable people ( communists are never reasonable) can disagree.


 

Creating Odd Memories Unintentionally

Over the years I worked many jobs and did many things. We learn odd skills and really don't think much about them.

I was surprised that my daughter enjoys me preparing elaborate meals from scratch. Every year I swear this is the year I quit and let Bens Best make my meal. I don't care what the family thinks, Bens does it much better then I ever could.

My daughter prefers the theater of the absurd. I go to several places before I find the right turkey. If I were in Vermont I could just ask someone to hit it with a Volvo. Then I head to the gourmet shop and look for the best ingredients. Maybe one out of ten Texas White Onions makes the grade. I insist on Maine potatoes as anything else is an insult. I live NY or Vermont Maple Syrup and I found Honey from Poland to meet my standards. I try and find Israeli Citrus products and Florida for my Turkey.

I don't cook very often but when I do I insist on making a superior effort. So even when I make a turkey loaf
the ingredients and care take time. When its prepared on cookie sheets it cooks very fast.

I guess my daughter prefers watching me use long forgotten skill learned at Hotels that are forgotten memories. Perhaps the memories and knowledge imparted is more important than culinary perfection. I learned long ago never compare my grandmothers dishes with those found in Bens or Mendys. Unfortunately, I am thinking that it is the memories that color the holiday cooking. I prefer the classic perfection of Bens to my catching lightning in a bottle results.

Maybe my daughter will let me buy the sides at Bens for the winter holidays. She prefers to make Jello with tons of fruit and cool whip as opposed to the more elaborate desserts.

I find it odd that my daughter has no interest when her mother cooks West Indian style. Maybe it is the excitement of picking the best or that I am using skills from days long gone. No doubt she will learn my tricks and develop her own style. I guess you can't learn how to cook from great restaurant food and it doesn't make memories and perhaps that is what the holidays are about.

Who Killed the Catskills

One of the least spoken items that killed the Catskills resorts was the excessive property taxes. Most of the time when these resort hotels went broke the prime culprit was real estate taxes. In the case of the giant Concord Hotel this was a crippling blow.

The problem was the State and the municipality lacked vision. Long term the tax and social spending consequence of a giant employer failing was much more serious then the tax bills. The municipalities has seen ample examples of abandoned hotels and should have worked with the ownership on forgiving debts and encouraging maintenance of the facility.

Instead of having a giant employer who supported hundreds of families we have a pit of dust. Maybe the state will work to save Kutshers and restore it to its brilliance. Stevensville can likely be refurbished if the local community had vision.

 It is sad to look at the deterioration of Monticello and Liberty. Part of my dream was to retire there. Unfortunately, the property taxes and crime have turned that dream into a fantasy. Sadly, it was the place where I learned to love the land. Pretty much the lights went out when the Concord closed.

Very odd Harry's Place Servers Down

Harry's Place is a quality read if you ignore its American coverage by the gadfly Gene. The question of who hacked Harry's Place and why would require some of the best minds to come up with a Clue Version. Lets see it was George Galloway under the bar with a Merlot. It was Beakerkin at the Deli with Mountan Dew.

It will be back so fans of the posts of Michael Ezra, Sarah and others will get fresh material. We will also get to see Gene feign ignorance as the economy crashes.

Disappearing Worlds

I find myself floored at the amount of places that were familiar favorites that have gone belly up. The latest casualty is the Stage Deli. Ben Bensons and Ghalaghers will be gone soon. In Staten Island Golden's Deli closed and is missed. A Kosher Chinese place opened on what was a historically a family owned Chinese spot on Jewett and has been doing well. The food is better then the place that preceded it but I miss the old timers.

I went to the Catskills and saw all the great hotels abandoned. Kutshers is still there but barely like a ghost of the past. Oddly, the killer of those hotels were property taxes and deals should have been made to keep them going. Instead desolation and decay has set in. There are those who criticize tax breaks but those hotels  supported local families. The families now are on government aid. The hotels brought visitors to local stores, but they are memories now.

Even as Dirty Dancing becomes a memory and the Borsht Belt fades into memory like vaudeville we are at a loss for a better time in a more sterile less certain America.