Showing posts with label Fear. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Fear. Show all posts

Saturday, November 16, 2024

Stop

 

The world screams at us, "Be afraid!"



Men of Rohan, 

tossed with tempest, 

fear is the mindkiller, 

give it no quarter. 



Fear is a force of evil. 

It paralyzes. 

It is crazy-making. 

It stymies. It controls. 


Throw it off.


Listen instead to the Lord, 

His sweet words of kindness, 

His hope, His peace. 


We were not made for fear, 

you and I, 

but life abundant.





Monday, January 24, 2022

Afraid

 


I'm scared.


Really? Now, after all these years, you're scared?




This darkness is the same darkness I was rescued from.


You were rescued, remember?




What if it gets my kids? 

What if I get your kids?




What if you don't hear me when I pray? 


Is that what you think, after all the answers, that's what you are afraid of?




Give me a sign. 

Oy vey, always a sign.




Ok, I'll give you a sign. What do you want it to say?


See, I heard you. 


I can do that.






Sunday, November 14, 2021

Confession

 

If you could erase parts of the past, would you?


A cruelty spoken to a friend. I'm sorry.

A terrifying thing. 

A thought. Too many thoughts. Most are a waste of time.

Fear. It is the mindkiller, you know. 

Not doing something great. Coulda.

Doing something great. I am not sure I was supposed to do it.

Dread of things that didn't happen.


I would, all of it.


I wonder how it would change me.





Wednesday, February 27, 2019

Fear


Psalm 67

May God be gracious to us and bless us
and make his face to shine upon us,

Selah 

that your way may be known on earth,
your saving power among all nations.

Let the peoples praise you, O God;
let all the peoples praise you!

Let the nations be glad and sing for joy,
for you judge the peoples with equity
and guide the nations upon earth.

Selah

Let the peoples praise you, O God;
let all the peoples praise you!

The earth has yielded its increase;
God, our God, shall bless us.
God shall bless us;
let all the ends of the earth fear him!



I don't like the word fear here, but that's what it says. Revere, honor, in awe of, those words shake the Earth less. But fear is the word chosen by the translators who understood the intent of the original. Why fear? The Earth does move, doesn't it? Even now, under our feet, like waves. 

Friday, September 22, 2017

End

His oldest daughter was the Wisest. She understood her father, why he did what he did, though she was too young to see all of it. She knew he did it to prove something. To be something. To win. 

The Smallest was hurt. She didn't understand. Instead, she was swept away by each ebb and flow of the tide. She was away so much she was not sure anywhere else existed, though she hoped it did. She was the one who would grow up to be just like him, seeking the same affirmation, in the same ways. 

His Closest pulled her words and her story out of the air and held them too close to see, so there is nothing to tell. She doesn't breath, doesn't hope, doesn't dream. She allows no mention of it, how she felt, how she feels. She leaves no footprint, no breath, because to do so would make his actions real and she does not want that.

They sat waiting for the pot to boil. It was a rare night that he was home with them. Maybe the only night. No one knew then that was the day the wall would come down. No one knew it would come down at all. So when his friend arrived and invited him out, they knew nothing different than all the days before when he left them. 

His friend had a job to do and needed help. 

They walked the whole way. It was dark. He was afraid. His friend's job was to confront someone, get information from them, and kill them. He was afraid of his friend, the target, and the information. It couldn't implicate him, but it was frightening for a reason he couldn't articulate.

The conversation between the three men went like this:

Friend: You refused?

The Target: I couldn't do it. Things have changed. I have changed. I'm out.

He: You can't be out. No one gets out. 

The Target: I am out. 

Friend: Why?

The Target: They didn't tell you? I am a changed man. I am different.

His eyes were serene. Solemn. Resigned. He would not bend. He would not break. They could see it plainly. This was no longer the same cohort they had worked with, no longer the man who they had come to respect, no longer the man who had ordered others killed like they were about to kill him. 

Friend laughed. They had told them. Now this man believed in God. Now he would not work with them. He was on his own. He was different.

Friend: You're a traitor.

He: Traitor.

He hated the Target now. How could he turn away from them? After all they'd worked for. After all they'd achieved. He would just give up now? They did not believe him about God. Who believes that? They assumed he was an ordinary traitor, one with his own reasons. It was no concern of theirs what he said now.

Friend: Do you know we will kill you? 

Friend didn't really want to do it. They'd been through a lot with this man. He was their colleague. Their comrade. He had helped each of them. He'd sacrificed for them. He had given to them. And he was different now. But they didn't know why.

The Target pulled a weapon from his right side coat pocket and shocked them both when he placed it on a table instead of firing.

The Target: I won't kill you. And I want you to know I forgive you. Both of you. I forgive you and when I am dead I will pray for you at the foot of the throne. 

His words were incomprehensible to them. He sounded like a madman and they killed him.

Friend: Do you think he really forgave us?

He was taken aback. It was a stupid question, one he didn't know how to answer.

He and Friend parted ways then, each heading for home. He wondered how his family was, something he didn't normally allow himself to do. And as he walked his steps drew him closer to the wall. Tall, impenetrable, protective. Something was happening on that night, however. People were gathered around. He stopped to observe the commotion. There was shouting and singing. Pieces of the great facade were being tossed, thrown to the ground. They were tearing it down!

He was caught up in it, watching but not helping. He was done helping. He thought about all he had done. He thought about forgiveness. He'd just killed someone. Someone who said he forgave him. It was unsettling. And now the wall was coming down. He hoped it meant something. He hoped he was forgiven. He stared, unblinking, and as he watched, he saw the shadow moved. It was jolted out of place, obstructed, directed, pulled. He saw that something reached out to the shadow and pulled it away and, as he watched, he hoped it would do the same for him.

Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Middle

He was swept free. He was brought out of deception. And he could see. With his eyes. With his heart. With all he could hold.

As he watched the wall come down and the shadow move and remembered his friend's, his victim's, words, "I forgive you," he wished, he hoped, he prayed and cried out and couldn't believe he got a reply. His burden, lifted and thrown, his darkness gone in the grip of a light that caught it and held it and brought it down.

He was free.

But he had ordered someone killed. He was not directly responsible, he reasoned, which gave him space between himself and the guilt. But he'd done it just the same. He'd watched a murder and had not intervened. In fact, he'd approved it.

In his life were many sins. He had abandoned someone who needed him. He had hurt someone who loved him. He regretted it. How could he be freed from that? But he was and he found it difficult to take. Not that he wasn't grateful. He was overwhelmed with gratitude, tears streaking his face, his heart, everything he could hold. He was paralyzed with it. He moved only by the force that held him up and led him. He was no longer his own.

He stood motionless in the center of his small town with the wall now down around them and the inhabitants strolling harmlessly around. They kept walking, not pausing, not stopping to say hello, everyone just going by with no destination other than "I can go here now" with no restriction. He began to stroll too, for hours or minutes he couldn't tell, and finally went home to tell his family they were free.

But they weren't. His family was still imprisoned by him. The wall was down. The shadow was gone. The weight had lifted. But his Closest remembered his cruelty. His Smallest remembered his absence. His Wisest knew. She just knew. He was free of his guilt, but they were still under it, pinned to the floor by unforgiveness and resentment and the truth. It was true. He had done it all. 

So he set out to change the truth. He hoped. He promised. But he failed, horribly, spectacularly. He was a changed man, broken, serene, a man who had been unable to rescue himself and now he needed help to clean up the mess. He needed a rescuer. They needed a rescuer, to be saved from all he had done to them.

Sunday, September 17, 2017

Beginning

The darkness met him, cold and sharp, and promised him power, but he no longer wanted it. He wanted sunlight. He yearned for hope. His heart, his hands, everything he could hold with wanted only to hold purity. 

It was a new feeling for a man who had spent his entire life on temporary pleasures, always looking in the same place for something different and finding the same over and over again. He feared he was a slow learner, but he was meant to learn this lesson well so that he would remember it with his heart, his hands, everything he could hold.

His mind changed when the wall fell. It pulled the darkness with it. He saw the shadow tugged by the weight of the collapse. What can grasp a shadow and pull it down? He thought he must have seen an illusion. The wall must have hit something real and moved it, of course, and that altered the shadow. Of course? But he was slowly losing belief in the course of things and gradually accepting that he had seen a shadow moved. A shadow that was not a reflection, not cast by light, not a mere effect of something real- this shadow was its own entity. He had seen evil moved and he knew it.

"You don't need to be afraid of the dark anymore."

He would not admit to being a fearful man. Maybe, once, or twice, he had felt fear as a small child or in a strange circumstance, but never as a man, never unless he was half asleep or- but it was futile. He was afraid. Fear led him. Fear drew him. Fear called his name. Fear ate his meals before him and arranged his home to suit its needs. 

Fear had been the boss for so long he did not recall another time, until that moment, and he realized, instinctively, then with logic, that there was something that could move differently than everything else. Something could rescue him. He winced at the thought because the last thing this strong man wanted was to need rescue. Then it happened.

Sunday, March 12, 2017

Mark 4:40


And he said unto them, 
Why are ye so fearful? 
how is it that ye have no faith?



Friday, September 9, 2016

The Moon



The moon sang its familiar tune, always the same, never changing. It howled into the night and cried out during the day. No one could hear it in those days and, even if they had, no one would have understood because they didn’t want to. The moon speaks its own language.

The shadow crept closer to the village. Everyone understood it because it spoke the common language. If anyone had spoken another tongue, the shadow would have learned it. It communicated in the ways the people liked and, because it was often the only voice anyone listened to, was believed. But the shadow lied, always, even when the truth would have worked better. It liked to lie. It liked to deceive. It liked to trap.

Petal was small, simple, blue and pale blue. She hung on the edge of a flower and danced in the breeze. She didn’t have much to do. She lived to be beautiful, to be delightful, adored. She longed to fly, but petals only fly when they are dying and blowing away.

The water rushed by. It saw its friend Petal each day. They called out to one another and waved. Once in a while, Water would puddle up at the base of Petal’s flower and sit a while. The two old friends would talk about the goings on in the world around them, which usually meant a few pleasantries and a lot of woes. The days were growing darker. Everyone could see that. The shadow was everywhere, cropping up even in places no shadow had ever been seen before.

Petal recognized the lies. Water, too. They were astonished at how quickly the forest had changed around them. One day they were lilting in the sunshine, or roaring over the falls in Water’s case, and then the next, the forest told them lilting was no longer allowed and the falls were dry. What had become of their world?

“It’s the prophecy,” said Bird. “It says things will get dark and then we should hide.”

But Petal knew that wasn’t what it said. The prophecy did not say hide.

Everyone was hidden anyway. They thought it was the right thing to do. After all, things were horrible or about to be horrible. There was no hope. They repeated it to themselves and one another, “Give up.” And most of them did.

The shadow knew this too. He honestly was surprised they were so easily fooled. Hide, he thought, and laughed. He knew if they fought him they would win. So, he continued tirelessly in his plan, each tiny success merely encouraging him on to the next. If he could put himself between them and the sun, or them and the moon, or them and each other, well, he would be all they had. The petal and the darkness, the water and the dry ground, the moon and the misunderstanding people, the bird who cowers, that was all that would be left. He looked forward to it. All he wanted was to make the forest into his image, because he loved himself and hated them.

Petal was at rest most, all, of her days. She hung on a flower. She didn’t have much to do. Her purpose was to be beautiful, to enjoy life, to live and be. But as Petal hung there in the flickering sunlight, she realized she would soon be being beautiful in total darkness. Then no one could see her and why would she be there at all? She had to do something. She had to get the moon to speak clearly, get the sun to shine, get Bird to see--- just see. But Bird had stored up his supplies and locked his door and taken to hiding under his nest to await the prophesied doom. He would be of no help.

“Water,” said Petal. “It’s you and me.”

Water didn’t know what that mean. Neither did Petal.

They had an idea. It was remote and feeble and probably impossible. They would teach the moon to speak. Not just shine and hope for the best. Not just mumble or shout or sing in that mysterious jumbled language. They would teach the moon to say, to raise its voice, to be understood. But how can a Petal reach the moon? Or water for that matter?

Petal strained. She tried to pull herself free from the flower and float high up on the breeze to reach the sky. It was a good idea, well, good enough. But it wasn’t her time to be released from the stem and so she was not. She only moved to and fro, slightly, and beautifully. She could not leave the confines of her existence. She could not be a messenger to the moon any more than she could be water or sky or bird.

Bird.

Water thought of it first. He breathed a heavy sigh before mentioning it to Petal. She sighed right back, because to be honest, she believed one of the shadow’s delicious lies. Bird can be of no help. He doesn’t even fly. He has stored up everything he will need and is cowering until the day of doom. We won’t even be able to get him to come out.

Water didn’t believe that. He remembered when Bird was young. He would play at the edge of Water. He sang, like the moon, and looked up into the sky. He was preparing to fly, thinking about it at least. He had the idea he could fly. In fact, he had even flown a little when his shell was first cracked. He had been free for a bit before the shadow’s lie convinced him he could not fly, could not be that, could not, could not, could not.

Water thought Bird could be inspired.

Petal sighed, the lie now heavier in her heart. But Water reassured her and, so, she was willing to try.
Water rapped on Bird’s door with a slosh. He was ignored at first, but continued anyway, repeatedly striking and pounding on the door. Bird came out from under his nest and from behind his piles of dried goods to admonish water and tell him to hide.

“Don’t you know what’s coming?” Bird demanded.

Water could do no more. He could get the door open, but he did not know how to convince Bird to help. Petal tried. She waved in the breeze, her beauty now almost completely covered by the encroaching shadow. Suddenly, an idea came to her.

“Bird,” she said. “Don’t give up! What if we can stop it?”

Stop doom? Bird was shocked. Water, too. Up until then he was certain doom was coming and they could not even delay it. Petal thought they could stop it. Or at least try. Out of the box thinking, he marveled.

Bird was explosive, forceful, enraged at the thought that someone could stop the day of doom or even put off the prophesied suffering that was coming on all of them. Couldn’t she see the shadow? Vile words came from him, some he’d never even heard before, all about how Petal couldn’t stop it, Water couldn’t stop it, and he couldn’t stop it. Doom was coming and they should hide.

Petal was almost convinced.

Water sort of believed the lie and “sort of” was enough to stop him in his tracks. Listening to Bird, he was becoming a puddle. Petal was hearing it too, and wilting, slowly. If she did not look away from Bird, he would die and so would she. Then the obvious occurred to her. Just say it, plainly, to Bird, to Water, to the whole forest, the village, and the moon itself.

“It’s a lie,” said Petal.

Petal who could only hang on a flower and wait for her time to be up so she could fly, who could only be beautiful and delightful, with nothing much to do, Petal could speak.

“A lie,” Bird repeated.

“We aren’t supposed to cower,” shouted Water as he caught on. “We are supposed to fight!”

He was breathless as he turned from a puddle back into water and then grew stronger. Petal was encouraged, and she needed every bit of encouragement by then.

Bird was not convinced.

“But I have these supplies,” he said, proudly, then added, “And I won’t share them with you if you’re wrong!”

Water sighed, but not in disbelief or wrong belief or in fear of doom like before, now water sighed because he was fed up. He roared like he was going over the falls. He reared up. He was inspired. And water flooded into Bird’s safe abode, crushing his hiding place, diluting the supplies, decimating every false thing Bird was willing to hide behind. The whole place came down in an instant because, to be honest, it wasn’t very stable to begin with.

Bird shrieked. He was devastated. He was alarmed. He was furious with Water. But Bird was not yet angry with the lie.

“Now I have to rebuild my hiding place,” he said, his voice tinged with manipulative self-pity that was supposed to control any further outbursts from Water and Petal.

But Petal sighed then, drawing the wind up within her, and exhaled onto Bird. He was annoyed at first. Water joined in the fight, rising also, until Bird had very little space to stand.

“You two,” He squealed. He was distraught. But he blamed his friends, not the lie. Not yet anyway.

“Fly away,” said Water.

“You can,” prophesied Petal.

But Bird repeated the lies in quick secession. I can’t fly. We have to hide. It’s not safe. I need supplies!

And the Water rose. The wind blew.

Bird was slowly lifted from his feet and forced to fly.

He was amazed. He really had not thought it possible. He had believed the lies fully, without question. He had no concept that he could be wrong. He could fly!

Bird flew higher. And higher, until he was eye to eye with the great, mighty, shining moon. Its light embraced him. Bird could hear it. The moon was singing, the same song as always, the same measured and consistent words, never changing, always the same. But now Bird understood every word. The moon was speaking his language and he realized it always had.

It said, simply, “Don’t be afraid.”

Sunday, April 3, 2016

Oppression and Fear


In righteousness you shall be established;
you shall be far from oppression, 

for 
you 
shall 
not 
fear;

and from terror, for it shall not come near you.

Isaiah 54:14

Friday, March 4, 2016

Joshua 1:9


Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, 
for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.

Joshua 1:9


Thursday, July 2, 2015

There's No Thief Like Fear


The news. 
A relentless onslaught of fear. 
Propaganda. 
Always the worst, most hopeless, 
terror-inducing perspective possible. 

Despair chains the listener. 

Fear is a force of evil. 
No good comes from it. 
Fear is not of God. 
He doesn't teach with it, lead with it, 
guide with it, or warn with it.

Fear not. 

Turn away from it. 

Despise it. 

God is good. 

Look up!

Monday, June 8, 2015

Fear



God
is

Bigger

than

the

Boogieman


(wise words of the Veggie Tales)

Saturday, February 21, 2015

Coincidence

Yesterday I posted Matthew 6:25-27 and titled it Sparrow.
This morning a devotional I happened to read was on this verse. I love when that happens.

Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.
Matthew 10:29-31

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Pray


if my people who are called by my name 
humble themselves, 
and pray 
and seek my face 
and turn from their wicked ways, 
then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin 
and heal their land. 

2 Chronicles 7:14