Very ambitious game with lots of nice moments. Some of the systems would probably be more useful in a larger game, but I like that you were experimenting with these at a small scale. I enjoyed finding a daily routine in the game of experimental farming and logging!
SamAtMICA
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This needs more revision as there are many bugs which make it difficult to play. (For example: the background is missing for the ground in the first level, and there seems to be no way to successfully get back onto the platforms once you fall off in the second level.
I know your concept involved interacting with people you encounter along the way, but (maybe due to the bugs) did not encounter any narrative or story elements.
Please revise before 12/18 and resubmit for credit.
This is off to a very promising start. It has a great setting and I enjoy the voice you're using to tell the story. There's suddenly a pretty big jump from short journal entries to something much longer, which reads a little less like a diary but is still enjoyable and easy to follow. I would love to play a fully fleshed out version of this!
Really wonderful game with some great writing. I loved the mix of wonderful and absurd things that happened in the dream world. It kept me engaged throughout the experience and curious about what might happen next. The feeling reminded me of some Lewis Carroll stories and I'm interested in checking out the book which inspired this.
Silly game but also interesting to see the jump from being initially text-based. It feels unfinished and could use some further refinement.
Things I liked:
- The goofy tone of the writing and the humor
- The flirt button
Things which need improvement:
- Many mechanical aspects of the game are unclear. For example: How do I control things? What can I interact with or not? When can I interact with things?
- Spelling and grammar issues. The game has a rough feeling with all the memes and mismatching visual language (see below), so there's an argument to be made about how deliberate these mistakes are, but it's still unclear.
- Inconsistent visual language. There's a real mix of styles on display here for such a short experience. Try working with a more deliberate choice that unifies things.
- Bugs. There's at least one bug which cut the game short for me (when I selected the option to check things out, nothing happened.
Very fun and engaging! I was able to successfully solve the murder. The dialogue and characters were fun and memorable, though the story was a little hard to keep straight at times. There were many moments where I thought I had figured it out only to then realize my suspicions were incorrect. Some nice twists and turns.
I think the game deserves some further development to address some of the rougher aspects related to interaction and UI. The text is only skippable at certain points but otherwise it moves along at a slightly tedious pace if you are repeating a section. The UI gives some meaningful feedback regarding what can be done at times, but not at others (For example: Click to continue text when that function is not available, selection of ID not highlighting, and the action to finally submit the suspect is not clear).
Really solid effort and good fun!
Very nice game. The things which I found most successful and endearing about the narrative were the moments when you reminded us that we were viewing the world from a cat's perspective, such as the description of the robots as a cucumber party or the preference for taking a high path (natural to feline instincts!) The narrative felt a little underdeveloped at points, which complicated my ability to make some choices with a sense of purpose. I would love to see an expanded version someday. Good effort!
Great atmosphere and presentation! The visuals have a wonderful storybook feeling to them and work well with the text to create a suspenseful and eerie feeling. I played this last week and think the changes and additions you made were successful. It also allowed me to play through with intentionally different choices, and I must admit that I found the path with the eye somewhat more compelling of the two as it felt a bit more sinister and unnerving. Excellent nonetheless!
What a warm and inviting atmosphere you've created. I thought that the visuals and sound worked really well in support of the game's text. I was afraid of the sound's volume due to the warning, but I think I was able to find a pretty comfortable listening level. One of my favorite moments was lingering in the warm sun with my friends (a satisfying ending!) If I had one immediate regret, it would be that I didn't choose the "You bugged me?" response when I had the chance!
I initially got DEAD END C: No looking back. The visuals and sound work so well with the text to create a truly dreadful atmosphere. The voice honestly creeped me out and was a great addition this week. Make sure to let people know 1. they need to use the dark theme otherwise text will be unreadable and 2. the game may require an initial restart to load properly. Great work!
Really fun game! I played as a vampire doctor in service to a lonely queen. I chose to bite the queen and cure her loneliness but was haunted by her transformation into a tyrant each time I looked at her gifted portrait.
The writing was really wonderful. I enjoyed my choices but felt like I arrived at the ending so quickly once I decided to help the queen (perhaps I was just enjoying it too much and was sorry for it to end!)
I led my tribe to successfully endure the winter, but only just barely!
I didn't notice any issues aside from the occasion typo or awkward phrasing. To be honest, it was quite engaging to have so much choice and also still be uncertain about the outcome. There was a good balancing of the random elements which kept the narrative feeling urgent and surprising.
While your focus was heavily on developing this system, which feels successful, I was quite impressed with the way you wove in storytelling. It gave me a lot encouragement and context to make dire choices and keep going.
Very enjoyable! I played it a couple of times to see if I could influence the ending.
I am trapped in a series of rooms and I have to pee. At some point I realized I was a dog because I ate dog food and it was no big deal. Ha. I got stuck in the kitchen moving a chair and ended up peeing on the floor.
I didn't run into any technical issues. There were a lot of choices which confused me a little because they didn't give me much information. I did enjoy the ones that felt like they included clues (such as the chair with wheels) and found it rewarding to test my intuition.
The revelation that I was a dog was very fun, but it happened so quickly once I discovered the food that the remainder of the game felt less impactful.
It was a very fun concept and I appreciated that there was a feeling of urgency to get out of the space. One way to amplify this feeling might be to remind the player that they still have to pee and it's getting worse.
I fell asleep in a car and then arrived at a hotel which was overrun by living mermaid statues. I tried to ignore it and sleep in my room but one eventually got inside and turned me into one as well! I got the death ending. I played it a couple of times just to try different things out but arrived at the same ending.
You created a very unsettling atmosphere. The mermaid statues were simple but actually quite scary. I found it satisfying to be turned into one.
I am curious about your choice to allow the player to sleep through a lot of dialogue which sets up the story in a nice creepy way. It made my first playthrough feel like I had missed something important in retrospect. Perhaps there's could be another opportunity to learn about Siren Town once you were at the hotel? Maybe through an exchange with an employee?
I am Ravencaller, and I serve my Old God. I meet a mysterious companion who is a guardian warden, and we adventure together before I finally kill him in the name of my God. After which, I transform into a bird!
There was one spot where I was supposed to press buttons with my partner where the block of text accidentally printed twice. I also think the choice which indicate "You played as..." could probably be handled more seamlessly by keeping track of my player choice with a variable.
I played with both characters, Ravencaller and then Fevaro. This was a good order as I felt like Fevaro's path gave me more insight into what I was doing as Ravencaller. In some ways, I think Fevaro's track was the more interesting of the two choices: more action and better banter. Playing both felt rewarding though and I enjoyed seeing the paths branch off and merge again and again.
I was very pleased that I chose the correct answer to the riddle in my first playthrough. It made me feel clever and I actually wondered if it was a trick where all answers could have been correct. I tested this in my second playthrough and was surprised to get the answer wrong with another choice. I'm not sure if the abrupt ending there would have left me satisfied and wonder if it might be designed to cleverly encourage me try again and again.
I am a detective who is trying to solve the mysterious death of a famous Bollywood actor. My investigations lead to supernatural conclusions that I can't seem to shake, and which continue to haunt me even after the case is closed.
I didn't experience any issues. There was a part near the end where it feels like you break the fourth wall and inform me as the reader that where I am is the result of my decisions. It's a little confusing because I'm not actually clear if you are speaking to me as the reader or as the character.
Some great things:
Really wonderful writing which fit the noir genre very well. "Chhota's information was a match struck in a gunpowder factory." Very fun writing that was a pleasure to read!
You introduced some really memorable characters which had a lot of personality despite their brief appearance in the story. Felt very rewarding to have these fleeting, but intense interactions.
I felt like I always had surprising and rewarding choices. I actually played through the game three times because I found all of the details revealed in each playthrough very satisfying!
I am wasting time in my room and then have an experience with a monster that takes on the form of my roommate, and then me. I played it over and over again because I died repeatedly, and often, almost immediately. I died and died and died.
Some small typos but I didn't run into any other issues. The threat of death really made every banal choice feel dire! Sometimes this felt punishing or quite abrupt and I wondered if it might benefit me to go ahead and create a Try again? choice. Everything happens so fast.
Some great things:
The language and the tone make this dark, supernatural experience also very funny. Me and my roommates don't seem very bright, which is kind of hilarious. Also reads like it's written for people who spend a lot of time on the internet, which I think is effective for this particular kind of story.
The small details about the monster help to keep me curious. Left me with a "what was that??" kind of feeling. I think there's room to expand the descriptions to build up the horror a bit.
I wake up in a dream world and have some casual adventures with some I think is 1. an alien and 2. my romantic partner? The atmosphere is very inviting and I take a swim and eat something from the bakery before continuing to wander off with my companion.
Some small typos here and there. Mostly the kind where a space is in the wron gplace.
Some great things:
I really enjoyed the pacing. It was very slow and gentle. I didn't experience anything jarring, which made the whole experience feel like a glimpse into a pleasant dream. It worked well with the way the experience just faded out.
The writing style was really wonderful and fit the narrative very well.
This is a fun narrative with an enjoyable light-hearted tone but it seems to end before it really even gets started. Perhaps there's a technical issue, but it seemed to end immediately after I started talking to the other character. The concept is interesting but it feels underutilized/unfinished in its current state.
Really excellent! The virtual pet theme was executed so well. Excellent visuals and sound. The tone was consistent and fun and the length/depth was perfect. It didn't leave me wanting. I really appreciated the many funny options for interacting with my dear lucy and seeing my lucy enjoying their star, or refusing pets. So charming!
Wow, very ambitious and impressive work! Sound and visuals were well-crafted and worked so well with the narrative. The story had a great opening and kept me engaged throughout. It had a great voice and I really felt for the character's internal struggle to feel like they were somehow contributing to the world in a positive way. It ended rather abruptly for me and I think it would feel good to be allowed to linger on the train a little while to let it soak in. I struggled with the font choice because it often felt cramped and out of place with the hand drawn aesthetics. Also, one thing you probably didn't catch is that the black box to fade in is too short to completely fill a 16:10 display. Excellent job Barbara and Toby!
I thought this was a really interesting narrative and it was interesting to imagine how this connects up to your thesis work. There's a dryness to the experience which has something to do with the monotony of the character's daily routines. I found that this made the dreams feel particularly surreal, vivid, and disturbing. The pacing was a little uneven at times, in which I lingered in parts of the narrative that didn't lead me anywhere notable, and other moments which felt abbreviated and perfunctory. But something tells me that this was an intentional choice. Good work.
Really wonderful narrative game. I was intrigued by the relationship between these two characters and appreciated that focus on the senses. There were mysterious elements such as the candles which I still don't have a firm grasp on but they were effective in capturing my imagination and giving me a small sense of agency and consent within the space. I got the Wonderland ending and felt satisfied with the experience so I didn't replay it with an effort to arrive somewhere different. Great work!
Really great game! It turned out so well. The humorous tone was really successful and felt consistent and in-character throughout. I felt incentivized to see if I could ever get Rina to take me on as a partner. Maybe one day! The way you integrated Ink to display avatars and the name cards was really well-done. The game has a great look to it.
Two small areas of improvement:
Move the instructions out of the controls menu. They are not immediately obvious and no one ever visits a Controls page when starting a new game.
Another option would be to make the buttons clickable with the mouse. I omitted something from the code demoed in class, so reach out and remind me to show you/post the fix if you want to go this route.
Okay... one extra one. Have the opening dialogue box open automatically. Let me know if you need assistance.
Great job!
This was a really ambitious concept executed with a lot of care. The details were well-considered and kept me engaged even though I knew my time in each form was limited. I think the new choices added a sense of fatigue to the scenario which seem more in line with the joyful yet melancholy feeling you described last week. Really great job!
Where'd this come from?! Quite a departure from last week, but also, it connected with the original concept so well. I really appreciated the annoying, persistent voice of the computer and really felt the exhaustion as the player/character. Really engaging and enjoyable work! Also, the offline aspect was really nice and I wonder if it really needed the prompt to go somewhere if we had not already?
I am a bored cashier who has an experience with a blood soaked priest during their night shift. There are a few different outcomes including one in which I flirt with the priest and get his phone number. I also experienced a different path where there was no priest but I fell asleep and woke to the store being trashed.
There weren't any significant technical issues. The formatting of the text was really odd, especially when playing full screen. Perhaps in trying to remove the overflow: hidden property you accidentally deleted the container? It looked better and was easier to read in the small window.
The visuals were very charming and did a good job of highlighting the story in fun ways. The one sound effect was very jarring, but it did make me wonder if there were other opportunities to use small sounds to highlight moments throughout the story.
The branching paths felt quite uneven, with the ones featuring interactions with the priest being most interesting, and the one where I fall asleep being the least memorable.
The most memorable moment for me was the option to flirt with the priest. Repeatedly. It was confusing tonally (is this game supposed to be funny, spooky, or ominous? A mix?) but was also the most satisfying ending I experienced by far.
Definitely unfinished, but a really strong start.
I'm a highschooler and I find myself enlisted as a hero to save Cloud City. Perhaps it's a dream? There were moments where fantastic things were happening interspersed with everyday vignettes like doing homework or going to school. Things fizzled out and I think the ending was that Cloud City was destroyed, but I couldn't tell you how I got there since it was still in an underdeveloped state.
The writing was fun and I enjoyed doing things like like solving a math problem. Additionally, the images you used were great companions to the text and I hope you will continue to expand this part of the experience.
Please let us know when this is done. Would love to keep playing it more.
Interesting game!
I am someone who starts out lost at sea and is then lost in a forest and then lost in a bakery, in search of a friend. I got two different endings, both where I was left alone.
The game has a surreal, dream-like quality which is really disorienting. I had to play it twice to follow what was going on, but even then it was very fragmented like a memory. This is something I really enjoyed about the game.
I didn't run into any technical issues. There are a good number of spelling and grammar issues throughout and I would like you to have someone proofread your work in the future (the writing center can help with this!) The page is very dark, which makes sense initially given the narrative. However, it is also a little challenging to read, especially with black text on a dark blue background. Consider tweaking this a little.
The visual elements were nice illustrations of my feelings at particular moments and I appreciated that they were as abstract in character as the text was. They also served as a good break in the text. I think you could also experiment with using the CLEAR tag to adjust the pacing of the game.
I am a young child named Lia who is living in some version of the future after the world has experienced some sort of climate crises. Lia doesn't seem to know what to make of the information from her parents and ultimately decides to have a bake sale to help people out.
There were issues with capitalization and spelling throughout, which I didn't think was intentional, but then I got to a part where Lia is misspelling fruit names and assumed it must have been a stylistic choice. I feel somewhat ambivalent about this, but it did help remind me that this is from the voice of a small child. Perhaps the mistakes could be more consistent or pointed out in more obvious ways throughout the story?
The inclusion of the drawing was a nice touch and I think it would be interesting to explore more of that throughout the narrative. I was also confused about the ending and was unclear if it there was more that I couldn't see beyond the frame (please check the box to enable fullscreen from the itch.io dashboard when uploading your game). Aside from that, it felt a bit jarring because it suddenly ended the experience without giving me any greater insight or resolution to anything I was experiencing throughout the game. What would you like players to leave the experience with?
The pairing of the insight regarding what is going on in the world with the limited understanding of the child is interesting. I think it could be expanded upon even further with moments in which we, as the intelligent players/readers, can clearly understand details about the circumstances that the child just doesn't understand. Perhaps a combination of written and visual narrative?
I am an artificial lifeform talking to a girl about something terrible that happened to a place called Palladium. After viewing a video archive the artificial lifeform takes itself offline.
There's one broken image related to looking through Palladium files. Otherwise, the images were a good addition to this game and added some really nice moments of levity. The use of an animated image as a video of Palladium was a great choice. It was hard to see what was so dire about it, but I assumed it was smoke based on the response.
I like the way you were creating distinctions between the two characters' voices with things like Lay-PT being more expressive with their use of all the WOAAAH!! and AHHH! and STARS!! Oddly, I can't tell whose perspective the story is being told from, as it begins with VAL and ends with LAY. Interesting.
Good improvements with this revision!