Happy Caturday

 

How about a little giggle to get us kickstarted for the day.

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Let's Ride! 🏍️💓

Friday Fotos

Good morning! Welcome to Friday Fotos. It's been a quiet week. Mostly one of yard work and errands. Pollen season is early this year which put us on the sidelines temporarily. That's OK. It's part of living. 

I've been burning some of the 10 kazillion leaves that fell last year. Well, first I mulch, then I burn what is excess. Makes the acreage so much more manageable in Spring. 

What was once going to the our Pear Orchard, which didn't pan out for many reasons, has become a problem of excess leaves and too much shade. The dead or dying trees are going to slowly be removed. Steve said that Pear trees wood are good for crafts or furniture. I suppose the larger tree could be milled and used for such. We'll see if we go that route. Might simply burn it all and move on. I'm so ready for Spring this year. I've already gotta list of flowers I want to plant all over the property. Now that we're almost totally carnivores there's not much need for vegetables anymore. I like this way of living. My body and pocket book agree with it. 

Yesterday we stopped by our local Southern Sippin' in Blackshear for the weekly sugar-free Frozen Frappe'. That's my weekly "milkshake". 

We're going shopping today, I think. The weather is lovely but I can't keep up the physical labor day after day like Once Upon A Time. There have to be days of rest in between or I'll pay for it with too many aches and pains. 

I'll leave y'all with a funny or two. I hope your day is special, bright, and full of good news. Thanks for stopping by.

Calvin and Hobbes

Ride Safe.

Funny Friday

Now, that's something to beleaf in.

And now ... for something completely different ... >>

Two Irish nuns were sitting at a traffic light in their car when a bunch of rowdy drunks pull up alongside of them.

"Hey, show us your boobs, ye bloody penguins!" shouts one of the drunks.

The Mother Superior turns to novice Sister Margaret and says, "I don't think they know who we are. Show them your cross."

Sister Margaret rolls down her window and shouts, "Screw off ye little freakin' wankers, before I come over there and rip yer nuts off!"

Sister Margaret looks back very sweetly at the Mother Superior and asks, "Was that cross enough?!"

I'm afraid that the dog will just have to Let It Be.

Funny Friday: Fawlty Towers BBC - I Know Nothing!

Instead of cartoons, I thought I'd share one of my favorite British comedies. Just recently, I obtained the entire DVD set of Fawlty Towers. John Cleese is a comedic genius, to be sure.

Brilliant! *lol*

Wordless Wednesday And A Joke

Yellow Scallop Moth (Anomis erosa)
Thanks Wiregrass Steve!

Not much going on here thus the cop out. :) Hope your day is blessed.

Funny Friday ~ ObamaCare Is An Oxymoron Created By A Moron

 ... and SCANDALS!

Don't Mess With Old People

The IRS Vs. GRANDPA

The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.

The auditor said, ' Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable.'

'I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Grandpa. ' How about a demonstration?'

The auditor thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.'

Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.'

The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.'

Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops.

Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.'

Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet.

Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.

The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

'Want to go double or nothing?' Grandpa asks. 'I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.'

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.

But Grandpa's own attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.

'Are you okay? ' the auditor asks.

'Not really,' says the attorney. 'This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and piss all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it! '

I keep telling you. Don't Mess With Old People!


Ride Safe,

The Great Vegetable Massacre

Caution! This post is not for the faint of heart. Or the humorless. *smile*

I have done something so epically stupid, so incredibly dumb, that it should go down in the annuals of DUMBNESS. What I did is so historically legendary brainless that it should be passed down by oral or written tradition as something one should not do. Moi deserves a picture in Websters next to the word DUMB.

dumb
/dem/

NORTH AMERICANinformal

stupid.

"a dumb question"

synonyms: stupid, unintelligen, ignorant, dense, brainless, mindless, foolish, slow, dull, simple, empty-headed, stunned, vacuous, vapid, idiotic, half-baked, imbecilic, bovine; see Sparky

What have a done to warrant such self deprecating abuse? Well, you may ask.

Our first attempt at home gardening in eight or nine years had been progressing very nicely. The little seeds so lovingly planted, prayed for, watched daily, and monitored unceasingly where flourishing with all the gentle care. They had even survived the over watering from the Spring rains. But oh Bright One Wannabe here, noticed the plants needed a little fertilizer. All they needed was a little boost. A little artificial nourishment lovingly administered by it's hungry caregivers. It was also determined that our lush centipede grass needs attention. The grass has been assaulted by an odious little weed called Spurge. A nasty small weed that's slowly choking out the grass. So, after a trip to the local Ace, and purchasing the proper fertilizers for each necessity, Hubby and I set about taking care of the beloved plants. He carefully weeded between all the rows in the Springtime swelter, fighting off the bugs and the dizziness­­ from lack of exercise. I carefully set about laying the fertilizer beside each plant, making sure to not touch the stems or leaves. It was tedious, nauseating, fatiguing work which my body is loudly rebelling against. I'm not accustomed to forced labor anymore. But, I wasn't complaining as my mouth was anxiously awaiting the yummy food yet to come.

This afternoon, my husband went out and checked the plants. He came rushing in with his face all ashen white. I ask, what's wrong??! He replied, "They're dieing!" WHAT!? Horrors of horrors, he's right. The vegetables are all wilted and burnt! What happened?!

I did a little investigating of the packages and guess who picked up the wrong fertilizer and proceeded to destroy the vegetables? Yep. Me. The epically DUMB blond woman. I am hanging my head in shame. Now all the beautiful little seedlings are withering away in a slow and premature death.

I am dutifully ashamed.

I think I even heard their little voices whispering last night.

"Why did they DO this to US!!??"

"I don't feel so good ..."

"They seemed so nice too ..."

"Don't they LOVE us?!"

"MURDERER!"
[That had to be the Green Beans. I've never trusted something with strings in it anyway. *lol*]

Kinda creepy when the plants trash talk. But I've betrayed them.

I'm such a coward that I can't even bring myself to go out there and look the little guys in the face. I am so ashamed!

This is not ending well. *sigh* And not only is spreading the wrong fertilizer killing the existing seedlings, it's pretty much salted the earth for the rest of the season. Unless, that is, I want to get out there in the heat and bugs and scrape the ground free of said debauchery.

Hubby said that possibly we can replant in a couple of weeks but I feel discouraged. After all that hard work. Ruined! The weeks of waiting and loving care. We no longer can look forward to enjoying the homegrown fare. No more looking forward to our own mouthwatering Ford Hook Limas, Green Beans, Cucumbers, Zucchini, or Yellow Squash. I think the Tomatoes survived the massacre but only because Hubby fertilized them with the CORRECT package marked "Tomatoes And Vegetables". Everything else seems to be a wash out.

So, while every one else is enjoying their homegrown vegetables this summer, I will still be humbly skulking through the produce section at Kroger. I just hope I don't have to hide in humiliation by wearing a paper bag over my head. Even though I deserve it. *lol*






Ride Safe,

Funny Friday ~ Motorcycles

The weather has been so pleasant we've been knees to the wind a lot this week, so, I thought it very fitting to share a couple of motorcycle jokes. 

Oh, and a Bathtub Test. I thought the "test" fit in after the silly motivational poster.

Enjoy! ~:) 

~ Ride Safe ~

I ThInK i'Ve GoT cAbIn FeVer ...

For the above abomination, we can blame Miss M. at Blackberry Lane with today's post and Adornpic.com.

*LOL*

Hope it tickled your funnybone. 

And keep repeating ...

"It's almost March ...", "It's almost March ..."

The New 12 Days of Christmas #ObamasTwelveDaysOfChristmas

This was inspired by the #ObamasTwelveDaysOfChristmas hashtag game on Twitter. Special h/t to Jon McNaughton for the image used at #10. See more of his amazing art at jonmcnaughton.com.
Also a h/t to Patriot Post for the image at #9.
I found this at fellow TEA party patiot's blog Fuzzy Slippers.

Bonus "joke", It's A Wonderful Lie