Showing posts with label jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label jokes. Show all posts

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Jokes untuk hari ini

Teacher: Ted, if your father
has $10 and you ask him for $6, how much would your father still have?
Ted: $10.
Teacher: You don't know Maths.
Ted: You don't know my father!


Mother: David, come here.
David: Yes, mum.
Mother: You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse.
David: But I will only get my report book tomorrow.
Mother: I know that, but I'm going Hong Kong tomorrow so I'm scolding you
now.

Father: Why did you fail your Mathematics Test?
Son: On Monday, teacher said 3 + 5 = 8
Father: So?
Son: On Tuesday, she said 4 + 4 = 8. On Wednesday, she said 6 + 2 = 8.
If she can't make up her mind,
how do I know the right answer?

Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Yes Dear.
Girl: Would you die for me?
Boy: No, mine is undying love


Man: How old is your father?
Boy: 1 year older then me
Man: How can that be?
Boy: He became a father only when I was born

Teacher: Simon, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same
as your brother's. Did you copy his?
Simon: No, teacher. It's the same dog!


Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!
Son: That's why I say she's no good!

Teacher: Where were you born?
Student: Singapore, Sir.
Teacher: Which part?
Student: All of me, Sir.


Teacher: How come you do not comb your hair?
Ah Kow: No comb, Sir.
Teacher: Use your dad's then.
Ah Kow: No hair, Sir.


A boy came home from school with his exam results.
"What did you get?" asked his father.
"My marks are under water," said the boy.
"What do you mean 'under water'?"
" They are all below 'C' (sea) level!"

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Recruitment Tips

HOW TO RECRUIT THE RIGHT PERSON FOR THE JOB?
Put about 100 bricks in a room with an open window.Then send 2 or 3 candidates in the room, and close the door. Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours, and then analyze the situation.
If they are counting the bricks.
Put them in the accounts department.

If they are recounting them.
Auditing.

If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks.
Engineering.

If they arrange the bricks in some strange order.
Planning.

If they throw the bricks at each other,
Operations.

If they are sleeping.
Reception.

If they break the bricks into pieces.
Informationtechnology.

If they are sitting idle.
Human resources.

If they say they have tried different combinations, not a brick has been moved.
Sales.

If they have already left for the day.
Marketing.

If they are staring out of the window.
Strategic Planning.

Last but notleast.

If they talk to each other, and not a single brick has been moved. Congratulate them, and put them in top management!!

Wednesday, July 01, 2009

MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE

For those who can take this jokes...
NICKNAMES ·
  • If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
  • If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
EATING OUT
  • When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
  • When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators..
MONEY
  • A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. ·
  • A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS ·
  • A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .. ·
  • The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS ·
  • A woman has the last word in any argument. ·
  • Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE ·
  • A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. ·
  • A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS ·
  • A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. ·
  • A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE ·
  • A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. ·
  • A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP ·
  • A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. ·
  • A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL ·
  • Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.. ·
  • Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING ·
  • Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. ·
  • A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing! SO, send this to the women who have a sense of humor and who can handle it ... And to the men who will enjoy reading it. MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE

PENGUMUMAN

Entri saya berkaitan makanan/masakan akan di'post'kan di http://www.foodsmania.blogspot.com/.
-dhill-
29 Jan 2009