Caption Bubba, Kathy Clown and the Muzzled Mayor

Memorial Day caption: the Blaz and this agitated boy

 

This really couldn't wait til Friday. The kid looks like he's being held hostage.

6 more months of this goon.

Caption Robert Holden

 

Friday is Crappy Caption Day. What words would possibly be going through Holden's mind if there was a cartoon thought balloon there?

I'd like to dedicate this to #JuanAnon, the shitlib fringe supporters of Juan Ardila, who think yours truly and the original Crapper are the same entity and also think that the Council Member is somehow linked to this blog when QC was running it for over a decade, and in the last three years since I took over. Well here's your chance to vent your frustrations on the comment thread and not on facebook or twitter where I can't respond to you.

I've never met Mr. Holden (nor Crapper I) and if I had, I'd think the council member wouldn't like my politics or my own criticisms of the NYPD. So chill out OK? 

Winner of best caption gets nothing, but later on when you die, you will receive total consciousness. Which is nice.

 

Caption this couple looking longingly and wantingly at the East River Pool

 

Crappy Friday Les Miserables, it's caption time. Wonder what else this couple thinks about this stupid ass pool, which is clearly only meant for the wealthy denizens of riverfront Brooklyn.

Caption The Blaz screwing off on the Empire State Building

The Blaz adds Thrive to permanent government

 

NY Post

In trouble? Try a rebranding.

Mayor Bill de Blasio has quietly moved to rename and make permanent first lady Chirlane McCray’s embattled billion-dollar ThriveNYC mental health initiative, shifting the program into City Hall and creating the Office of Community Mental Health to house it.

De Blasio signed the executive orders inking the changes without fanfare on Wednesday, a few days after the initial announcement was buried by the news of sexual harassment allegations leveled against city Comptroller Scott Stringer.

The transition was swift.

The next day, City Hall sent a press release that identified ThriveNYC’s top honcho, Susan Herman, as the “director” of the new Mayor’s Office of Community Mental Health.

ThriveNYC went entirely unmentioned in the Thursday statement, though the email address for inquiries from the press still used the ‘thrive.nyc.gov’ domain. 

 Meanwhile, the website for McCray’s controversy-scarred initiative quietly added a banner to the top that reads: “We’re becoming the Mayor’s Office of Community Mental Health. Learn Why.”

It’s a far different picture than the one painted by Hizzoner and McCray as they rolled out the new office during his daily press briefing on April 29.

“And third, we want this work to deepen and we want to make sure it’s community focused. So, [we’re] establishing a permanent Mayor’s Office of Community Mental Health,” said de Blasio during that morning press briefing.

“In the end, the way to reach people with mental health challenges is early and often – it’s schools, it’s at community-based organizations, it’s in shelters, it’s in so places where people need help, but, historically, have not had a place to turn,” he continued. “This vision and this office will ensure that mental health services are available at the grassroots all over the city.” 

You know what this means right? This means Chirlie is not leaving. Tweed-le Dumb.

Caption the Blaz and the Bin

 It's Caption Friday Crappynistas, looks like de Blasio is quite frustrated trying to get a word out of a compost bin in the middle of his recent daily briefing. Now he knows how it feels to deal with someone, or something, that has an aversion to transparency.

Caption Cuomo hitting the bottom

   What the final scene of the movie version of Cuomo's "American crisis: Leadership lessons from the COVID19 pandemic" will look like...

 

Limpdick Landlord now playing at Sunnyside Cinema

  

Queens Post

The marquee sign at a shuttered Sunnyside movie theater was altered over the weekend with the perpetrator taking aim at the landlord.

“Death by Speculation, Starring Limpdick Landlord,” the sign reads, which appears to have gone up in the past 24 hours.

The vacant cinema, located at 42-17 Queens Blvd., closed in January 2015 after its operator Rudy Prashad was unable to renew the lease.

The landlord, John Ciafone, who bought the property off Dime Savings Bank at the end of 2012, decided that he wanted to develop the property.

Ciafone, who still owns the building, was subject to heavy criticism at the time since a theater had been located at the Queens Boulevard site for more than 40 years.

Prashad, who had operated the theater for nine years and fought to keep the theater open, broke into laughter Sunday when he saw a photo of the altered signage.

“I love it. I’m saving it to my phone and using it as a screensaver,” Prashad said.

“I want to shake his hand,” he said of the perpetrator. “I want to take him out to dinner.”

It’s Friday the 13th and Cuomo has upped his game

Enjoy these memes that began circulating minutes after the latest dictatorial edicts.

Don't forget Mario's son's novel about his response to the pandemic and his "executive leadership" guiding our state's recovery:

Queens' stuck-in-snow humor

See any more? Send them in!

Merry Christmas from the Queens Machine!

This card is real.

This card is not.

But the winner for holiday messages has to be John Liu.

Hey folks, he wasn't serious about running against Tony Avella, he was just "dabbling" in politics! I bet the moronic Queens County machine and its minions were just thrilled with this holiday greeting from Johnny.

Happy Halloween from Queens Crap!

Candid Camera comes to Queens

Candid Camera visited Queens last week, stopping in Jamaica Estates in the first segment to deliver color coded garbage cans to unsuspecting residents, and then did 3 segments at Silver Barn in Middle Village (even though they mistakenly called it Brooklyn).

You can watch the entire episode here.

Weiner really wants FMCP soccer stadium

From NY Post:

“I’m a pro-development Democrat. I think we should build and grow the city as we go and I want to do it smartly,” the ex-Queens congressman said when the topic of sports came up at the Terrace on the Park event.

“I would love to have major league soccer here in Queens. Heck, I’d love to have major league baseball here in Queens first..." Weiner said to guffaws.

Is there a Democrat running for mayor that isn't pro-development?

Some people can't take a joke...or the truth

From DNA Info:

A mysterious mock website that took jabs at the members of Queens Community Board 1 took most of its content offline recently, posting only a brief message stating the site had been threatened with legal action.

"Cb1queens.org is a parody and protected free political speech. Needless to say, it does not have any relation with any actual community board or governmental agency," a message on the site currently reads.

"But based on the threat of legal action from the City of New York, the site is temporarily being taken down," the site states.

It's unclear if legal threats were indeed made against the site. An email sent to the site's designers was not immediately returned, and CB1 district manager Lucille Hartmann was not available for comment Thursday.

The city's Law Department did not immediately respond to questions.

We need one of these for every Queens CB

From DNA Info:

Will the real Queens Community Board 1 please stand up?

A mock website surfaced recently that looks to be the actual site for Astoria's CB1 — except that it's loaded with satirical digs at the board, painting its members as elitist and out of touch with the rest of the neighborhood.

"Queens Community Board 1 is proud to represent the interests of business and property owners," the "About" page of the phony site reads.

"We have a certain amount of clout with elected officials and city agencies," another page says, before adding that the board's role is to "provide helpful cover to local elected officials when they take positions at odds with the majority of people in the community."

The fake page lists a number of the CB's most contentious past issues as "accomplishments" — including votes against a pedestrian plaza on Newtown Avenue and a bike corral at the Queens Kickshaw restaurant — and criticizes the board as favoring the interests of drivers, developers and property owners.

Astoria guy tells jokes in Central Park

From the Daily News:

Here's an antidote to economic angst that won't break the bank: Jason the Joke Guy from Astoria, Queens, who tells jokes for a dollar in Central Park.

The 40-by-30-inch sign he carries proclaims, "Laughter Guaranteed."

He even offers refunds.

What do you call Chewbacca when he's working with clay?

"Harry Potter," Jason Schneider, 26, quipped for tourists from Pittsburgh who tossed a greenback into his neon green money bucket over Labor Day weekend. They laughed.

Who did the promiscuous cow sleep with?

"Udderly everyone," he zinged. Another laugh.

What do you call a seeing-eye cow? "Hamburger helper," he added. They laughed again.

The al fresco funnyman is at the park almost every day. He stands on the tree-shaded, midpark Mall by a bench with a plaque that reads: "When there is no wind, row," a saying of author George Plimpton's.

"That's exactly what I'm doing because I couldn't get a job," Schneider said during down time.

Can't imagine why. Reminds me of a frequent punny commenter on this site.

El Bloombito

Flushing lawn ornament

"Does a Bear poop in the woods? Apparently this one does in style "Crappy"!

I spotted the commode in a north Flushing backyard. Maybe the homeowners intend to use it for planting Geraniums.

Anyhow, don't forget to flush. After all....this is Flushing!"

- The Flushing Phantom