Thoughtful Thursday -- Depression

I've been debating writing this post for several days.  I know it can be a touchy subject and I don't want to be insensitive to those of you reading this who are struggling with depression in any of it's forms.  Please know that I've given this a LOT of thought and feel like it is worth talking about.  Please also know that my intentions are pure and I mean no ill-will.

We have all had times in our lives when we've struggled with being depressed about something.  It can be caused by any number of reasons which may include a hormonal and/or chemical imbalance, post-partum depression, illness, trauma induced depression, etc.  It can be mild or extremely severe and it definitely affects a lot of people.

One of the medications the Dr. is trying me on for my fibromyalgia is an anti-depressant.  I have never been on one before and had a very hard time accepting that she thought I needed it.  She prescribed it to me because it has been known to help regulate sleep cycles in people with fibromyalgia.  After doing a ton of research I finally decided to give it a try.  And you know what?  It really has helped with regulating my sleep cycles (which have been severely messed up for years).

It has also helped with my mood.  I never thought I had "depression".  I've known for a long time that I'm struggling with being able to keep everything together.  I've known that I am sad a lot and would much rather stay at home than go be with people...and there's more too.  But in my mind, that wasn't depression.  That was just being overwhelmed.  It wasn't until I started taking an anti-depressant and noticed a big difference in how I feel emotionally that I realized/accepted that I really have been struggling with depression..  I never thought I would say this, but I am really glad I'm on it...at least for now.

I'm not saying everyone should run out and ask their Dr.s for depression drugs, all I'm saying is that there is no reason to be embarrassed or self-conscious about it.  If anything, be proud of yourself for taking your well-being into your own hands and being pro-active in making your life better!

For those of you who have friends or family struggling with Depression, all I can say is be kind.  Love them and support them the best you know how.  Don't judge them or treat them like it's their fault.  Just love them and know that they are doing the best they can!

"Depression isn't a sign of weakness, it is a sign of being strong for a little too long."  I don't know who said it, but I heard it this week from my sister-in-law and really liked it.

Thoughtful Thursday -- He looks just like Jesus!

Last night as my kids and I were walking out of our church building a group of people were coming in.  The last man in the group saw us coming so he held the door for us.  He was dressed nicely in a white shirt and dark pants.  He had shoulder length brown hair and a full beard.  My son saw him and his face filled with amazement as we got closer to the door.  Then J leaned closer to me and said, "Mom is that Jesus?!"  I smiled at him and said no, it was just a nice man who looked alot like Jesus.  J then said, "He sure does look like Jesus and he is being so nice to us...just like Jesus would be."  I agreed with him and we walked through the door.  J continued to stare at this nice man as we walked by and I whispered to him as I passed that my son thought he looked like Jesus.  The man flashed a huge smile and said, "Why thank you!".  J was quiet as we got into the car and then finally said, "Mom I love Jesus and that man looked so much like him.  I always try hard to be just like Jesus wants me to be."

Melt my heart!!!  Do you ever wonder if the things you try and teach your kids ever actually sink in?  Well friends, it does!  And you will hear the most amazing things from your kids if you take the time to listen.

Thoughtful Thursday -- What lies in you?

After my first 3 babies were born it took me between 6 and 9 months to really feel good again.  You know, semi-rested and energized and organized...able to handle it all.  My pregnancy with my last child was really tough and my delivery was terrible and he had acid reflux REALLY bad (for a whole year).  I wasn't very surprised when 9 months passed and I didn't feel good yet.  But after a year and then a year and a half passed and I still didn't feel good I started to worry.  I went to the Dr. with all of my complaints and she started running tests.  I will spare you the details, but just know that I was tested for every possible disease/illness known to man and all of them came back negative.  I have been to multiple Dr.s too and all of them have come up with nothing.  Well friends, after almost 2 years of searching, the Dr.s have finally decided what is "wrong" with me.

Fibromyalgia.

I hate that word.  I hoped that once they figured out what was wrong we would be able to do something about it.  This diagnosis wasn't what I wanted to hear.  Part of the reason is because I have always sort of thought that Fibromyalgia was a fake disease.  One for hypochondriacs or one that Dr.s made up because they were tired of not knowing what the heck was going on.  Not only do I feel ill most of the time, I have eaten about 10 slices of humble pie over the last few weeks.  I know that what I'm feeling isn't some fake illness that I've made up to get attention.  And I know that all of my Dr.s have worked extremely hard to figure out what is wrong with me.  We're trying a few different things as far as treatment goes, but the whole process is sort of hit or miss.  I guess I just haven't wrapped my head around it yet.

As I was searching for an inspirational quote for today's post this one struck me with so much force it almost knocked me out of my chair.  I am strong enough to deal with this and make my life good again.  I am strong enough because what lies in me is from God and He gives us the very best.

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Thoughtful Thursday -- Siblings

I just got home from visiting my brother and it was such a great trip.  He is making steady progress and I'm so grateful to God and the Dr.s and my amazing sister-in-law and nephew for that.  I'm also amazed at what a strong person my brother is.  I don't know if I could handle what he (and his wife and son) has gone through and is going through.  Sometimes we have no choice but to do the hard things and they are doing it...every day.  I'm impressed and inspired and humbled to have the blessing and priviledge of calling them family.

To the outside world, we all grow old. But not to brothers and sisters. We know each other as we always were. We know each other's hearts. We share private family jokes. We remember family feuds and secrets, family griefs and joys. We live outside the touch of time. ~ Clara Ortega

Thoughtful Thursday -- Adoption

While I was pregnant with J there was a friend of mine who was pregnant with triplets.  She had a tough pregnancy and complicated delivery and when all was said and done, the Dr.s told her she would never be able to have any more children.  She was 21 at the time.  They had dreamed of a large family, and immediately knew that they would turn to adoption when they were ready to have more children.

In 2007 they adopted 2 of the cutest little boys you have ever seen.  One from Ukraine and one from Uzbekistan.  Each of them have special needs and have absolutely flourished in their new environment.  After they brought the boys home, everyone thought that they were done and their family was complete, except them.  Heavenly Father had more in mind for them and for their family. 

They are in Bulgaria right now picking up 2 beautiful little girls to bring home and join their family.  They are also visiting a third little girl who will join their family later this year.  As I have watched them go through this process I have been so impressed with their ability to see beauty and potential in sad/lonely/helpless little children 1/2 a world away.  I can't even imagine the love and peace and possibilities that these special children experience every day in the arms of their amazing parents.

If you want to laugh, cry, and be inspired, you can read all about it here.

Thoughtful Thursday -- The 'Pair' Tree

Alix over at Shadywood Chic is part of something amazing and I wanted to tell you all about it.  Her mom found out that the Susan G. Komen 3-day walk would be passing by their house and she thought it might be fun to decorate the pear tree in their front yard.  And decorate it they did!  With these beauties.

The family made over 50 pairs of breasts to hang in the tree.  It serves two purposes.  First to give all of the walkers a good chuckle and to lift their spirits, and second to raise money for the Susan G. Komen foundation.  You can read the personal side of it at Alix's blog or in this article in Chicago's Daily Herald.  If you want more information on how to donate, check out The 'Pair" Tree Foundation website.

The next time I feel like something is too hard or that my efforts won't really matter I'm going to think of Alix and her family.  Each of us has within ourselves the power to be something great.  I am always amazed and inspired when I come across someone who uses that power in such a profound way.  Thanks Alix for sharing this with me and for letting me share it with others.

Thoughtful Thursday -- Help Wanted...

We just got back from a week long camping trip which was super fun.  The hard part was the 10 hour car ride each way.  YUCK!  Thank goodness we have a DVD player in the car.

One of the movies the kids watched was Robots.  It's not my favorite movie, but it's pretty fun.  Anyway, there is a line in the movie that keeps running through my mind.

"See a need, fill a need."

I think that's going to be my new motto.  So, what are you waiting for?  Go find a need and fill it!

Thoughtful Thursday -- Love

We got back from vacation last night and I can't tell you how amazing it was!  I got to spend the entire week with my family and it was heavenly.  I hope that I can keep basking in this feeling forever.

"The love of a family is life's greatest blessing"  Annonymous

Thoughtful Thursday -- a Patriot's Heart

I just finished reading "Snow Flower and the Secret Fan".  It is the story of a girl in China while she passes through the different stages of life.  It is fiction and takes place well over 100 years ago.  I have no idea how true to life it is.  I really liked it, but it wasn't your typical "quick read" although it didn't take long to get through.  For me the entire book was incredibly thought provoking.  I found myself stopping to really digest what I was reading and I haven't done that in a while.

Ultimately it made me realize how truly blessed I am to live at this time and in this country.  This is not to say that being born now means everyone will have a blessed life or that being born in the US means that all is well.  I also don't mean to belittle the very real struggles that others are currently living through or have lived through in whichever country they call home.

I guess all I'm trying to say is that I'm thankful for my life and I'm happy it's mine.

How often we fail to realize our good fortune in living in a country where happiness is more than a lack of tragedy. ~Paul Sweeney

Happy 4th of July everyone!

Thoughtful Thursday -- Doing what is right.

Do you ever feel like you have 1000 things pulling you in all different directions?  You know you can't possibly do it all, but you have to because it is all good stuff that you are "supposed" to do.

When I was in college I really struggled with this (and still do).  I felt like if an opportunity came up to do something good, then I should do it!  I spent my days doing good things, but I couldn't figure out why I didn't feel as happy as I wanted to feel.  I was talking to my friend's mom one day and after listening to me for quite some time, she simply said, "The enemy of the BEST isn't the WORST.  It's all the other GOOD that gets in the way."  Did you catch that?  Read it again.

It is so simple yet so profound!  I was spending so much time doing "good" things that I lost sight of the best things...like taking care of myself, reading the Lord's words in His scriptures, saying my prayers, staying connected with my family...

I really took it to heart and realized that although I was filling my life with good things, I was letting those good things crowd out the best things.  I had to re-evaluate my priorities and cut out alot of stuff that wasn't necessary.  It was not easy, but I'm so glad I did!  Once I was focussed on the BEST things I found the happiness that I was trying to find all along.

I have had to go through this process lots of times since then and have learned over and over again that when I am focussed on the BEST I am happy and so is my family.

Come what may, and love it.

Saturday was my birthday and my hubby had training so he took Friday off to suprise me.  It was a wonderful suprise!  He arranged babysitting for the kiddos and whisked me away to my favorite place on earth.  I can't tell you how nice it was to have some time with my husband without any interruptions.  We had the best converstation on Friday morning and I am still smiling becuase of it.

We are coming up on our 10th anniversary and looking back it's been quite a ride.  We've had some really amazing times and some really not amazing times.  Through it all, my faith in my Savior and a sincere desire to find happiness, peace, and love have carried me through the easy and the hard.  We have been truly blessed with more than we could wish for and I am so happy to be me right now.  We know that hard times will come.  When they do, we will welcome them as a chance to learn and grow and turn our hearts upward.

As we spoke we were both reminded of a story that we heard a couple of years ago.  I hope it fills you with encouragement and a resolve to choose happiness.

"When I was young I loved playing sports, and I have many fond memories of those days. But not all of them are pleasant. I remember one day after my football team lost a tough game, I came home feeling discouraged. My mother was there. She listened to my sad story. She taught her children to trust in themselves and each other, not blame others for their misfortunes, and give their best effort in everything they attempted.


"When we fell down, she expected us to pick ourselves up and get going again. So the advice my mother gave to me then wasn’t altogether unexpected. It has stayed with me all my life.

“Joseph,” she said, “come what may, and love it.”

"I have often reflected on that counsel.

"I think she may have meant that every life has peaks and shadows and times when it seems that the birds don’t sing and bells don’t ring. Yet in spite of discouragement and adversity, those who are happiest seem to have a way of learning from difficult times, becoming stronger, wiser, and happier as a result."  -Joseph B. Wirthlin

Keep all things in perspective...

Have you ever had a really big fight with your spouse, roommate, sibling, or parent?  I'm sure we all have.  In those times it is hard to keep our cool.  Sometimes what we need most is to take a step back and look at the situation with a little less anger and a little more compassion.  I have always *tried* to ask myself, "will this matter next week, or next month, or next year?"  If the answer is no, then why does it matter so much right now?  I also try and look at things from the other person's perspective.  Sometimes doing so will help you see things you hadn't seen before or understand better why a person does or says a certain thing.  Trying to keep things in perspective is certainly not easy, but it is necessary in order to maintain happy and healthy relationships with those around us.

"Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved." --Thomas S. Monson

I came across this quote a couple of years ago and it meant so much to me. I've sort of made it my mantra. Anytime I am struggling with anyone...kids, teachers, neighbors, family members...I remember this and it makes facing the struggle a little bit easier.
 
Don't forget to enter my Birthday Giveaway!!  It closes on Sunday night.

My Motivation

I've been thinking a lot this week about why people do what they do.  Why they are who they are.  What motivates them.  I don't think it has to be the same thing at all times.  Depending on the situation different things can motivate us.  Some of our motivations can be good, like love, peace, and happiness.  Sometimes our motivation can be the opposite.  Things like fear, lonliness, and low self esteem.

I've also done a self inventory...seriously looked at my life and where I am at.  What things are good that I should keep up and enhance.  What things are not good that I should change or stop all together.  This self inventory made it pretty clear what some of my big motivations are.  Mostly they are good...mostly my motivation is my family.  However, I also noticed that sometimes I act out of a desire for acceptance or fear of failure.  I don't like that.  I want to be secure in who I am.  I want to know what my purpose is at all times and to act accordingly.  I don't think this just happens.  This is a conscious decision.  I don't want to look back at who I used to be and let that person dictate who I am today or who I will be in the future. 

"Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending." ~ Author Unknown

Here's to your happy ending.

Thoughtful Thursdays -- Motherhood

Have you ever thought of yourself (or others) as "just a mom"?  I know I have.  When people ask me where I work I have even said, "Oh, I'm just a stay at home mom."  I don't feel like I am "just a mom", so why do I down play it or let others make me feel like what I do everyday isn't that important.  It is important!

Oprah Winfrey said: "We should no longer allow a mother to be defined as 'just a mom.' It is on her back that great nations are built. To play down mothering as small""is to crack the very foundation on which greatness stands. The world can only value mothering to the extent that women everywhere stand and declare that it must be so. We affirm other mothers and as we teach our sons, husbands and friends to hold them in the highest regard, we honor both the mothers whose shoulders we have stood on...and the daughters who will one day, stand tall on ours."

Happy Mother's Day to all of the mothers and future mothers out there!!!

p.s.  How is everyone doing on their New You Challenge?  It's not too late to come along for the fit and fun!  If you want to join us, just follow the training schedule on the sidebar.  I update it every week so you know just what to do each day.

Whatever Wednesday -- Pure Inspiration

I had something else planned for today...some pine cones and decor balls, but then I saw this video on my best friend's blog.  I was moved to tears.  And I realized once again that God loves us and wants us to be happy and that we can be happy when we strive to be what He wants us to be...even when it is hard to do.

Thoughtful Thursdays -- Motherhood

Since Mother's day is just around the corner, I thought I would spend the next couple of Thoughtful Thursdays talking about motherhood.

When I think about motherhood I of course think about my own mother and all that she did for me.  I also think about my children and how special they are to me...yes, even when this happens.  However, I also think about all of the women in my past, present, (and future) who have mothered me when I needed it.  Women at church, mother's of my friends, my sisters, even college roommates come to mind.  I can think of numerous times when I needed someone to comfort me, help me, listen to me, and even scold me and these women filled the role of mother when I needed it.  I also think of all of the people in my life who I have been able to help and hopefully fill the role of mother when they needed it.

Having or not having babies does not make a mother.  Having a mothering heart makes a mother.  So here's to all of the women out there who have mothered me.  Thank you so much!

"A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.” --Washington Irving

Thoughtful Thursdays -- The Beauty of a Woman

I just came across this poem and I loved it.  I thought it was beautiful and touching and so true of the many women I have been privileged to know.

The Beauty Of A Woman

The beauty of a woman
isn't in the clothes she wears,
The figure that she carries,
or the way she combs her hair.

The beauty of a woman
must be seen from in her eyes;
Because that's the doorway to her heart,
the place where love resides.

The beauty of a woman
isn't in a facial mole;
But true beauty in a woman,
is reflected by her soul.

It's the caring that she cares to give,
the passion that she shows;
And the beauty of a woman
with passing years only grows.

-Maya Angelou, Audrey Hepburn, Ralph Fenger and Sam Levenson

This poem is attributed to each of these authors depending on where you look.  I couldn't figure out which one actually said it, so they all get credit.  :)

Thoughtful Thursday -- Womanhood

Hello lovies!  I decided to do Thoughtful Thursday because I need them.  I am a stay-at-home-mom to 4 little kids (4.5 years from oldest to youngest).  My husband and I made the choice for me to stay home and I NEVER regret it, but that doesn't mean it is always easy and i always love every second of it.  There are many times in my life where I really need a "pick-me-up".  Days when I feel like cleaning up one more mess will really, truly make me loose my mind.  Days when I am just sad and wish someone would call me and tell me that they love me and that what I am doing every day is GOOD.  Do you need that phone call too?  The phone is ringing...pick it up...

"I wonder if you sisters fully understand the greatness of your gifts and talents and how all of you can achieve the 'highest place of honor' in the Church and in the world. One of your unique, precious, and sublime gifts is your femininity, with its natural grace, goodness, and divinity. Femininity is not just lipstick, stylish hairdos, and trendy clothes. It is the divine adornment of humanity. It finds expression in your qualities of your capacity to love, your spirituality, delicacy, radiance, sensitivity, creativity, charm, graciousness, gentleness, dignity, and quiet strength. It is manifest differently in each girl or woman, but each of you possesses it. Femininity is part of your inner beauty.

"One of your particular gifts is your feminine intuition. Do not limit yourselves. As you seek to know the will of our Heavenly Father in your life and become more spiritual, you will be far more attractive, even irresistible. You can use your smiling loveliness to bless those you love and all you meet, and spread great joy. Femininity is part of the God-given divinity within each of you. It is your incomparable power and influence to do good. You can, through your supernal gifts, bless the lives of children, women, and men. Be proud of your womanhood. Enhance it. Use it to serve others."

--James E. Faust, "Womanhood: The Highest Place of Honor," Ensign, May 2000, 96

Feel better?  I certainly do!  Have a quote you would like to share?  Email me.

Really great advice

The other day we were at the store with all 4 kids.  It wasn't just any store, it was Costco and it was way too close to Christmas.  To say that there were a lot of people there would be an understatement.  It was jam packed!!  It wouldn't have been a big deal, or even worth mentioning except for the fact that 75% of my children were crying/whining/begging for something/complaining because they weren't getting it.  I love it when they are like that.  I wish I could said that I took it as an opportunity to recognize them as a blessing, but I'd be lying.

I was trying very hard to have a conversation with my husband about whether or not to buy a GPS (no we still don't have one), but I couldn't even hear him becuase my little beauties were being so awesome.  Do I even need to mention all of the comments from bystanders about how horrid my kids were and what great parents we weren't?  Of course not.  We'll just leave that part out.

Then this old couple walked by.  The grandma (she must have been a grandma because she wasn't shooting me dirty looks) said, "Aren't you lucky to have so many kids?"  I shot her the "Are you serious?" look and she winked at me and said, "Of course you are!  You have music wherever you go!"  That was all it took!  I immediately started laughing which made my kids stop crying/whining/begging/complaining and laugh too.  They had no idea what they were laughing at, but it didn't matter.  We were in the middle of Costco laughing about how blessed we are to be a family and my heart was full to overflowing.  All I can say is bless her.  Bless her for being kind and genuine to a perfect stranger in need.  I hope I can be more like her when I grow up.

Magic

"The entire sum of existence is the magic of being needed by just one other person." --fortune cookie

My husband went to lunch at a chinese buffet today and this is what his fortune cookie said.  I can't stop thinking about it!  If being needed by just one other person is magical, then there is more magic in my life than the "most magical place on earth".  I am truly a blessed woman and I LOVE my life.