Dark Days

Since last week’s tragedy in Newtown, it's been harder to let the kids out of the house. The instinct is to keep them under lock and key, but every morning we have to open the door and let them go.  To the movies, to the mall, to walk to the bus stop in the dark.  Like many parents, I’m trying to wrap my head around this and figure out how it will impact my family.   At this age, it is less about trying to shield them from the news. It’s mostly about answering questions like “Why don’t they want to say the killer’s name?” "Why did that mom have a gun?"  “Would you ever get a gun?”   "Did he know any of those kids?"

These are the darkest days of the year, and this year sad circumstances have accumulated around me to make the days seem even darker than usual.  Long ago, the ancients thought the sun was leaving them, getting farther and farther away.  Each year they feared that it would never return.  It’s no coincidence that Christmas falls during the time when the ancients realized the sun was coming back.  Winter Solstice -  the day before the light starts to return.   Right now we are waiting, lighting the Hannukah and Advent candles.   

We spend so much time trying to teach our children that violence is wrong -- that loving each other is the reason we’re all here on this earth together.   We want them to know that love is our highest purpose.  That to feel  it is a blessing, and to express it is a gift, not to be taken for granted. Yes, we can teach them to accept that some people have disabilities that make it hard to cultivate love, or express it.  Acting out in anger is something we struggle with daily as a family.  But it’s impossible to explain  how someone could face a blackness as dark as what prompted last week’s horror.

Have you ever heard the saying that a broken heart is an open heart?   Right now it feels like the country is joining hands,  praying for the love in our hearts to pass from one hand to the next.  I’m hopeful that those grieving find their way out of the darkness and are touched by returning light and love in the coming weeks.

Please visit  The Brady Campaign to End Gun Violence 

Why My Kids Are Doing "Nothing" This Summer

Since February I’ve been urging my kids to figure out what they want to do this summer.  “Find out what your friends are doing.  I’ll sign you up,” I said.  Despite weekly pleas for answers, they came back with nothing.  No sports or sleepaway camps, no camps specializing in fashion, farms, food, film or nature.  Plenty of suggestions were made, but nothing held enough appeal this year.  Why, I had to ask myself, was it so important to me to have my kids signed up for stuff?    What are my kids trying to tell me with their refusal to declare a summer “major”?

Since I work full time, and mostly from home, summer activities have always been pretty crucial.   Since my kids were in daycare, our summer days flowed much like those during the school year, except that we packed sunscreen, bathing suits, towels and goggles into backpacks instead of books and folders. Lunches were assembled and the kids were piled into the car and rushed out of the house by 8:15 for a full day of activity-intensive camp.  When they got home, they passed out, sunburned and exhausted, in front of the TV, then got up the next morning and did it again.   We are just plain tired of doing that. 

And why should we?  My kids are now 12 and 14 – too old for babysitters and too young for jobs. After 10 months of daily grind, is it so wrong for them to have a few precious weeks to just hang out with nothing to do?  Would it be awful for them to be bored now and then?   I thought about my own Florida summers hanging out at the beach or the pool, roaming the neighborhood, running through sprinklers, playing SPUD in the street.   Nobody went to camp.   We looked forward to summers because it was a time to rest and be with our friends.    So I have purchased the kids  passes for the town pool.  And that’s it.  

Sometimes I wonder if underneath the decision not to commit them to activities is a selfish attempt to keep them close while I still can.  Childhood is short, and it is, sadly, coming to an end.  Maybe  I will regret the fact that I’m not participating in the relentless resume-building and college application fortification that many of my friends and their kids seem to be engaging in, but, as they say, “you’re only young once.”   I hope that our decision to let them just “be” this summer will end up having as much value to them as the expensive camps of previous years.   At the very least, they will have time to clean their rooms, and maybe my chicken coops.  (Or maybe that’s still wishful thinking.)

Balancing Fear and Trust

Last week’s tragic news that an eight year old boy, Leiby Kletzky, was abducted and murdered in Brooklyn has many parents debating the merits of allowing children to walk unsupervised through city streets.   It was the first day the boy was allowed to walk the seven blocks home alone.  He got lost and stopped to ask a stranger for directions.  This particular stranger was one of the extremely rare dangerous ones. 

It's heartbreaking that so many have chosen to throw blame at his grieving parents.  “What were the parents thinking?” seems to be a common response. 

Well, I think I know what they were thinking.  They were thinking that a child has a better chance of being struck by lightning than of being abducted.  They wanted their child to feel independent, and get to know his neighborhood.  They knew that if he got lost, chances are that he’d ask a kind helpful person who would get him safely home.  What happened was inconceivable for them, but it will remain in the consciousness of every parent who has heard this news story. 

The incident made me remember my own terror as a child, getting separated from my mom at a county fair, and crying for what seemed like hours, but was surely less than 10 minutes, in the first aid tent, surrounded by caring strangers.  It made me remember losing my children in department stores, and enlisting the help of other women pushing strollers around who immediately understood my panic.  I remembered all the helpful people in the Sheep Meadow when I lost my kids in Central Park two summers ago.  

I still feel that fear, allowing my kids to roam unsupervised in ever-widening circles, but I’ve never believed in teaching children not to talk to strangers.  Yes, “Be on your guard.”  “Never allow someone to touch you or pick you up.”  “Never get in a car with someone you don't know.”  “If you’re lost and need help, find another mother with children.  She’ll know what to do.”   Teaching them to feel comfortable approaching strangers when in crisis will almost always help them.   It's not unlike the moment when we let go of that two wheeler, and allow them to pedal on their own for the first time -- the trick is teaching them to balance fear and trust.

I hope that parents, especially the ones in Borough Park, will read Lenore Skenazy’s Free Range Kids blog, and learn about the real risks of letting their children roam.   Now, more than ever, kids need to connect, in real time, with their natural surroundings.  They need to feel the thrill and pride of doing something on their own.  They need to know that evil exists, but still believe in the kindness of strangers. 

Related Posts
I Lost My Kids in Central Park
Wiffle Ball Wishes

Battle Hymn of the Race to Nowhere

At a screening last night of the documentary film “Race to Nowhere,” another mother and I were marvelling at the fact that we were seeing the film at the same time that “The Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother” is getting so much publicity.   They represent such very different perspectives on parenting.  Why, we wondered, is this happening now?   If popular philosphies on parenting swing from permissive to strict and back to permissive again, where are we, as a culture, right now?  And what does this mean for our kids?   While “The Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother” describes a punitive and restrictive Chinese parenting style that is designed to prepare children to compete in the global economy, “Race to Nowhere,” shows the toll that insisting on high achievement is taking on kids around the country, from every economic background.   

I was familiar with some of the issues addressed by Race to Nowhere from having read a couple of Alfie Kohn’s books, such as "The Homework Myth." He’s been talking about these issues for over 10 years now, warning that practices like assigning hours of homework, awarding teachers merit pay, closing down struggling schools, advocating charter schools and promoting high stakes testing are all counterproductive.

Here are some of the most impressive findings from Challenge Success.

In a national survey, students were asked to use 3 words to describe how they felt in school. The word most often used by students was “bored” followed by “tired.”

Time kids spend doing homework has increased 51% since 1981.

Harris Cooper reviewed research on homework, which showed almost no correlation between homework and achievement for elementary school students. There was a 0.7 correlation for middle school students for the first 60 minutes; if middle school students did more than that, he found little or no correlation.

According to a study of children at more than 60 schools, by the end of 4th grade, those kids who had attended academically oriented preschools earned significantly lower grades than did those who had attended more progressive, “child-initiated” preschool classes, where the emphasis was on play.

In Finland, kids begin formal school at age 7. While initially behind, by age 15, Finnish students outperform students from every nation in reading skills. Finnish students are also among the highest scorers in math and science literacy.

According to a large study done by the University of Michigan, family meals are the single strongest predictor of better achievement scores and fewer behavioral problems for children ages 3-12.

Kids today have 12 hours less free time each week than they did in 1981.

Studies have shown, that sleep deprivation is associated with memory deficits, impaired performance and alertness, and delayed responses, yet school starting times get earlier and earlier. 

Some of my friends are very concerned about the number of AP classes on their kids’ transcripts.  They’re wondering what it means for their kids’ college applications.  They’re worried about whether they will get into the top NYC public schools,  whether they’ll get recruited for a “travel” team, place in their gymnastics meet, or get the lead in the school play.   I have my own anxieties and worries and hopes for my kids.  What I really hope, though, is that all parents, teachers, administrators, and medical professionals will see “Race to Nowhere."   It’s made me feel a little better about things.  Maybe if we don’t push our kids, if we give them more free time and less pressure -- even if these things don’t happen, it will be okay.  We might even all be happier.  It will be okay.  It really will.  

Songs Moms Can Groove To 2010

Just ask a 13 year old. Nothing is more painful than having to watch your mother dance. (I may be one of the few people who survived adolescence without feeling this mortification. I loved to dance with my mom, who could out-jitter the jitterbug.)

So I am guilty of subjecting my kids to this abuse regularly during an activity my friend Emilie and I like to call the “kitchen dance.” The kitchen dance is ideally done after the children have gone to bed, and something is needed to liven up the pot scrubbing. It’s a line dance where one of us starts a movement that is duplicated by the other person, who changes the movement slightly and “passes” it back. Easy right? So easy a mom can do it.

Despite the fear and displeasure of my children when they come upon this scene, they themselves are to blame. The radio in the kitchen, usually set on WFUV (also known as “old people channel”) is somehow magically re-set for Z100 after school hours. This puts the dear ones at risk of a rogue kitchen dance breaking out to "their" music at any time. However, with so much dreck on the radio today, an acceptable groove is never guaranteed. So I put together a list of our favorite kitchen dance songs from this past year, so that dancing moms can download and kids can take precautions.

DISCLAIMER: I am aware that some of these are old songs that were not released in 2010. That is because I am over 40 and can’t be expected to pick up on trends when they’re actually happening. I may come around to it two or even three years later. The only way I heard the old Aaliyah song was on the muzak while shopping with the E. girl at Limited Too.

Ima Bee – Black Eyed Peas
- We listened to this so many times I even memorized Fergie's rap. Sad, right? The video is cool.

I Can Transform Ya - Chris Brown


Carry Out – Timbaland ft. Justin Timberlake
Feast on all the food puns.

Extra Smooth – Aaliyah
Excellent soundtrack for making gravy.

The Big Bang – Rock Mafia
Can't figure out why this isn't getting more airplay.

Hold Yuh – Gyptian
An easy groove even grandma can do.

Calabria 2007 - Enur feat. Natasja (yep, this is the 3 year old one)
We don't know the lyrics but sing anyway.

F.U. – Cee Lo Song of the year, people! See the great video here.

If none of their friends are around, the kids might let their guard down long enough to join you and maybe even teach you the “dougie.” What are you grooving to in your kitchen?

Thoughts at Thirteen

Some birthdays provoke nostalgia.  My daughter turned thirteen this week and I can’t help but feel a little wistful.  I’ve been remembering the birthday parties we went to when she was 4 or 5 years old.  She wouldn’t leave my lap to play musical chairs, but sat there with me, sucking her thumb, watching the festivities.  Then there was the Pre-K dance recital that relatives from Ohio flew in to attend, only to have her stay backstage clutching my hand while her classmates did pirouettes on stage. 

It’s hard to see why I was so eager then to  have her venture off my lap.

Every day now is a new test of freedoms, and the apron strings are stretched just a little bit more.  Last week she and her friends wanted to sit far away from me in the movie theater.  This week they want to be dropped off at the mall. 

My friend Sandy has two kids that are now college age.  I often think back to a conversation we had before my kids were born.  I’d invited her to a yoga class, and she declined, saying that she’d already been out too many nights that week, and that she’d rather be home with her kids.   I appreciated her honesty, but wondered how a couple of hours could possibly make a difference.  Now I understand --maybe it's because my job takes me out of the house several nights a week.  Lately, as my kids get older and more interested in doing things with their friends outside the house, I especially treasure our evenings at home together, doing the mundane stuff.  The cooking, the homework, the “Everybody Hates Chris” episodes -- even the rides to basketball practice.    But the real treat is a night when nobody has to GO anywhere.  Nothing is more luxurious than staying home and making soup.  

I wonder if these feelings will go away when my kids are out of the house.  When they’re not here to do it all with – or for.  When I'm home, and they’re both out  participating in the world, I’m already feeling those empty nest pangs of sadness.   There will be time later for fancy cocktail parties, award ceremonies, Broadway plays and yoga classes.    My gardening, photography and HTML skills will never be optimal. I can work on all that later – when I won’t feel as bad about not making it to the PTA meetings, either. 

Happy Birthday, Miss E.  and many happy travels, wherever you roam!

photo by Leah Brand

What Color Is Love?

They say that children's books have the power to make a greater impact on your character than the books you read later in life.  When I think way, way back to the very, very first books that were read to me as a child, aside from "Pat the Bunny," and Richard Scarry, I remember this one:

When I read this book now, I hear my mother's voice.  Many years later, when I read it to my own children, I read it the way it was read to me, using the same emphasis and inflections. 

So my "Rainbow" garden this year is dedicated to Joan Walsh Anglund, and her book "What Color is Love?"

I can't imagine a better way to gently introduce children to the "we're all the same inside" concept, and get them thinking about emotions, tolerance and even world peace.

Colors are important
  because they make our world beautiful,
  but they are not as important
   as how we feel...
       or what we think.....
           or what we do.

Colors are "outside" things and feelings are "inside" things.

Below, she describes why her drawings omit the children's mouths and noses:

"I still 'see' different expressions on the children's faces. I think perhaps I am trying to get down to the essence of a child - not drawing just a particular, realistic child, but instead I think I'm trying to capture the 'feeling' of all children - of Childhood itself, perhaps. This may be too why I find myself dressing the children in a timeless manner, not really in any definite 'period' in time - but always with a vague sense of nostalgia."

Karen, of Greenwalks,  is our prize winner!  Karen not only won the drawing, but knew the title of the book as well as the illustrator, so her award is well-deserved. (Karen please email me your address at [email protected] so I can send you your prize.)

"What need we touch a child—

with our books and rules?

Let him walk among the hills and flowers,

Let him gaze upon the waters,

Let him look up to the stars—

And he will have wisdom."

What's the very first book you remember being read to you?

Marketing, Monetizing and Mr. Clean

The Lazy Mom, who writes about parenting in a way nobody else can (or should), has a new blog The Mommington Post, her "opinion on Mom blogs, parenting, surviving the suburbs and other random rants." This week she put up my guest post about why I'm not monetizing.   Do you have ads on your blog? or conduct product reviews?  Do you like blogs that do?  Why or why not?  Lazy Mom wants to know.  (And while you're over there, please remind her that she is supposed to do a guest post about chickens for me.  We're waiting, Lazy!)

Building a Fort from Branches and Sticks

A few weeks ago during the “grey area” of boredom between camp and the start of school, my son had a playdate with an old buddy from preschool. He and this particular pal have a history of getting into trouble – the last time he was here, his friend jumped off the back of a recliner and broke his arm. So it’s amazing and wonderous to me that his mother still allows him to come here. However, his last visit was no less dramatic. The two of them (once again somehow eluding parental supervision) managed to get their hands on a saw and took down three of the smaller trees in the small “woods” behind our house. This wouldn’t be so tragic, except that one of them was a dogwood. So I felt guilty, and heartbroken – and furious.

When asked what they intended to do with the sawed-off trees, they answered “build a fort!” On some level I was pleased with this, no doubt because of my nostalgic fondness for the Little Rascals, but I felt that the only way I could make peace with the loss of the dogwood was to insist that the fort actually get built. Luckily, I had recently picked up this book at a garage sale.The purpose of the book is really to teach survival techniques to children, but one of the illustrations caught my eye. This hut is something that can be built in the woods to use as shelter and to keep warm- not a bad thing to know how to do if you’re a hiker or explorer. The idea is to build a frame by propping larger branches up on an achor (could be a rock, stump or sawed-off tree), fill in the sides by leaning smaller branches against the frame, then weave in more sticks and leaves. I saw no reason why we couldn’t apply this technique to fort-building. So I assembled the destroyers and put them to work.

It’s not hard to find big branches in our yard –especially since recent storms had done some minor damage to the trees.
We employed a few bamboo poles that were previously staking the tomatoes.

Look around your yard and see what’s available – old lumber works too.

Give the branches better stability by anchoring them a few inches into the dirt. Then just find thinner, more flexible sticks to weave in between the bigger branches. Fill in the spaces with clumps of leaves - old vines work great, too. (We'll have more supplies in a couple of weeks when more leaves are on the ground!)

Then, you can either “rough it” or ask your mom to bring you lunch.

Kid Pics Fix - Middle School Girls

Miss E., my oldest (second from right) and her friends are starting middle school today! I was talking to my sister-in-law yesterday about my niece's challenging separations at playgroup and remembered the numerous difficult goodbyes that we had in preschool. There were lots of birthday parties where she would not leave my lap.

Yesterday E. asked me to drive her to school today so that I could come in and help her set up her locker, but today she bounced out of the car and said "I don't think I need you, Mom." (Sob) And forget about asking a 4th grade boy to kiss you goodbye at dropoff. Not gonna happen.

10 Things I Learned from Richard Louv

Richard Louv is the author of Last Child in the Woods: Saving Our Children from Nature-Deficit Disorder. We carpooled over to Sarah Lawrence College in Bronxville to hear him as this year’s Longfellow Lecturer. Louv is also the chairman of the Children and Nature network and co-chair fo the National Forum on Children and Nature. He’s passionate about connecting kids to the outside world, and giving parents and educators the tools to help. Below are some highlights from his talk.

1) We are hardwired to need nature – if we don’t get it, we suffer. Symptoms of ADD get better when patients are exposed to nature. Nature has a calming effect. It’s not surprising that kids who take recess behave better in class, however, many schools are dropping recess and taking away recess as punishment.

2) Today's kids may have a lower life expectancy than their parents due to childhood obesity and diabetes. Studies show that the greener a neighborhood, the lower the risk of obesity, regardless of population density.

3) Children who take part in activities in outdoor classrooms do better on standardized tests. This has proven true in our own school: our principal reported that unlike many schools in our area, there is no racial gap in standardized science test scores, and feels it is due to outdoor classroom participation.

4) When one child falls out of a tree, you don’t cut down the whole forest. Hard to believe, but our school has a “don’t run on the wood chips” rule that is apparently not unusual. Parents often cite fear of injury or liability as a reason to forbid outdoor activities.
5) Bringing children outdoors is an issue that crosses racial, religious, political and professional boundaries. Evangelical Christians and far-left liberals are just as likely to feel strongly about this issue.

6) The amount of time people spend outside is decreasing. National Park attendance has decreased since the mid-80’s and when they do go, people only wander and average of ¼ mile away from their cars. As Louv states “Parents need to do more than play Animal Planet videos in their mini-vans on the way to soccer practice.” Governor Quinn of IL is to be commended for re-opening state parks in that state.

7) Most people have a special place in the outdoors or experience with nature that is dear to them that they love to talk about. Louv spoke about congressional hearings that he has taken part in that were derailed as lawmakers each had to relate a personal story of their own childhood delight in nature.



8) Builders and developers are getting on board. Louv has been invited to speak at conferences for builders and developers and has found that more creativity is being used to create green spaces in planned communities.


9) You don’t have to be an expert. One brave parent in the audience mentioned her hesitation to lead a nature hike. “Then,” she said, “I realized that I don’t have to be an expert.” I think lots of parents (and maybe some educators too), might feel they don’t have the necessary tools to supervise a foray into nature. Admit that you don’t know what kind of bug, bush or flower you’re admiring and look them up together in guide books later. Draw pictures of birds and compare to photos on the web. Use the experience to teach children how to research and study natural elements around them.


10) Kids need a mission to create as well as “fix”. One of the most valuable things I took away from this lecture is the notion that we can’t inspire kids by constantly giving them the impression that the earth is doomed and dying. Yes, there is global warming and pollution, litter and diminishing natural resources. Guilt and pounding in this message day after day without showing them what they can build and create to make the world better won’t inspire enthusiasm.

Links:
Richard Louv's website
The Children and Nature Network
FreeRange Kids
Playborhood
Kids Unplugged
Keep Rockland Beautiful
Other posts of interest:Wiffle Ball Wishes
Last Child Without a Gun
No Child Left Inside: Rants and Raves

Last Child Without a Gun

Have you heard about the book “Last Child in the Woods” by Richard Louv? The book suggests that some of the attention deficit problems many of our children are facing are at least partially caused by a lack of exposure to nature. My son's teachers have kindly suggested that we need all the attention help we can get, so I’ve been trying to encourage unstructured outdoor play. Except now, my kids are not content to stay in my backyard. Some months ago, not long after I started this blog, I wrote about how freaked out I was by the idea of letting my (rather impulsive daredevil) son go “down the hill” to play in the cul-de-sac at the other end of our street where I couldn’t see him. Soon it became clear that what I really feared was a curve in the road that creates a blind spot preventing those going down from seeing oncoming traffic.

We finally reached a compromise and my son agreed to get off and walk his bike where the “blind” area begins on the street.

Soon after we allowed him this freedom, I was relieved to find that he and the neighborhood boys have formed their own little tribe. What’s nice about their tribe is that they are of mixed age. My son is 8 and is among the youngest and the oldest is in his first year of middle school. The tribe goes from house to house. They climb trees, go sledding, play basketball and hide and seek, ride skateboards and raid refrigerators. Today my son announced. “We’re building a clubhouse.”


Great, I thought. What a nice, old-fashioned, wholesome activity. Kinda like the Little Rascal’s He-Man Woman Haters Club. (Except the tribe accepts girls. They even let my daughter, who is better on the Rib-stick than any of them, hang out with them when she wants to.)

Then he said “and then we’re gonna get some BB guns and shoot anyone who comes near it!”

The S. man and I have tried to stick to our guns about not acquiring any weapons as playthings. Still, when we were in New Mexico, and we allowed him to pick out a souvenir, he begged for tomahawks and bow and arrows. In every toystore he goes straight to the plastic tommy guns. And I probably don’t need to tell you what he designed himself from Legos and sticks. (And is it any wonder that the Strong National Museum of Play has inducted the stick into its Toy Hall of Fame?)

Well, what do you think? I think he’ll shoot his eye out!

Dreams for His Daughters

The grassroots group that I volunteered with during the campaign took a bus to Washington DC at 2 a.m. this morning. Today I'm kinda wishing I was on that bus. I had a (maybe selfish) impulse to let my kids stay home from school today. We even found this great website, Our White House that (almost) made me want to take on some homeschooling activities, but only one of my kids wanted to stay home. He's engrossed in a Lego project right now, and I'm afraid it's not building a replica of the White House. We'll watch the events of the afternoon on TV today, and later we we may go to an Innaugural Ball that our town is holding at the community center (where, hopefully, there will be dancing!)

Did you see the letter in Parade magazine that Obama wrote to his kids? Just in case you didn't, I'm posting it below. I think it pretty much says what most parents are feeling today. It's a good reminder that Obama's goals are really pretty simple and not at all different from those of most families. Try not to cry when you read it.

What about you? Doing anything to celebrate today?

Dear Malia and Sasha,

I know that you've both had a lot of fun these last two years on the campaign trail, going to picnics and parades and state fairs, eating all sorts of junk food your mother and I probably shouldn't have let you have. But I also know that it hasn't always been easy for you and Mom, and that as excited as you both are about that new puppy, it doesn't make up for all the time we've been apart. I know how much I've missed these past two years, and today I want to tell you a little more about why I decided to take our family on this journey.

When I was a young man, I thought life was all about me-about how I'd make my way in the world, become successful, and get the things I want. But then the two of you came into my world with all your curiosity and mischief and those smiles that never fail to fill my heart and light up my day. And suddenly, all my big plans for myself didn't seem so important anymore. I soon found that the greatest joy in my life was the joy I saw in yours. And I realized that my own life wouldn't count for much unless I was able to ensure that you had every opportunity for happiness and fulfillment in yours.

In the end, girls, that's why I ran for President: because of what I want for you and for every child in this nation. I want all our children to go to schools worthy of their potential-schools that challenge them, inspire them, and instill in them a sense of wonder about the world around them. I want them to have the chance to go to college-even if their parents aren't rich. And I want them to get good jobs: jobs that pay well and give them benefits like health care, jobs that let them spend time with their own kids and retire with dignity. I want us to push the boundaries of discovery so that you'll live to see new technologies and inventions that improve our lives and make our planet cleaner and safer. And I want us to push our own human boundaries to reach beyond the divides of race and region, gender and religion that keep us from seeing the best in each other.

Sometimes we have to send our young men and women into war and other dangerous situations to protect our country-but when we do, I want to make sure that it is only for a very good reason, that we try our best to settle our differences with others peacefully, and that we do everything possible to keep our servicemen and women safe. And I want every child to understand that the blessings these brave Americans fight for are not free-that with the great privilege of being a citizen of this nation comes great responsibility.

That was the lesson your grandmother tried to teach me when I was your age, reading me the opening lines of the Declaration of Independence and telling me about the men and women who marched for equality because they believed those words put to paper two centuries ago should mean something. She helped me understand that America is great not because it is perfect but because it can always be made better-and that the unfinished work of perfecting our union falls to each of us. It's a charge we pass on to our children, coming closer with each new generation to what we know America should be. I hope both of you will take up that work, righting the wrongs that you see and working to give others the chances you've had. Not just because you have an obligation to give something back to this country that has given our family so much-although you do have that obligation. But because you have an obligation to yourself. Because it is only when you hitch your wagon to something larger than yourself that you will realize your true potential.

These are the things I want for you-to grow up in a world with no limits on your dreams and no achievements beyond your reach, and to grow into compassionate, committed women who will help build that world. And I want every child to have the same chances to learn and dream and grow and thrive that you girls have. That's why I've taken our family on this great adventure. I am so proud of both of you. I love you more than you can ever know. And I am grateful every day for your patience, poise, grace, and humor as we prepare to start our new life together in the White House.

Love, Dad

No Child Left Inside - Rants and Raves

There was some great discussion going on recently over on Garden Rant about the No Child Left Inside Legislation that has passed in the House of Representatives. There was some debate about whether federal funds should be allocated for environmental education programs. Here’s a great video that explains why these programs are important.

It can be very hard to persuade schools to make “Edible Schoolyard”-type programs a part of the curriculum. In our school, the 4th grade science curriculum includes a unit on plants, but otherwise, this is something that teachers need to fit into their schedule. With the pressure they are under to prepare students for standardized tests (ala No Child Left Behind), it’s not surprising that the greenhouse experience is not always real high on their priority list. An Edible Schoolyard program would also compete with arts and athletic programs – and they have their own advocates who also (rightly) feel shortchanged.

In our school, the Courtyard Garden Committee is part of the PTA and a great deal of the garden maintenance money comes out of the PTA budget. The parent volunteers pretty much go from classroom to classroom, knocking on doors, peddling projects to the teachers. The teachers are receptive to a point, and become more receptive when supplies are delivered. They sometimes shy away from regular maintenance once plants have germinated, because it requires a time commitment that they just don’t have.



It’s too bad that that children aren’t taught more practical skills in school. Who is to say that making salsa from tomatoes and herbs that they’ve planted themselves isn’t more practical than mathematics. It’s too bad that they can identify more corporate logos than species of plants in their own backyards. Any federal funds that can address this would be welcome, I think.


Another goal is to interest children in the outdoors so that they get off the couch, away from the TVs, computers and video games, and outside playing and exploring their neighborhoods. What’s standing in the way? Parents. They are afraid to let their kids out of their sight because the media has convinced them that child abductors and perverts lurk behind every tree. They’re afraid that their kids won’t remember to look both ways when crossing the street. They are too busy to accompany their children on outdoor adventures. They’ve spent hundreds of dollars on video game systems and naturally they want them to be used.


I gotta admit that I'm somewhat guilty on all counts. I don’t know what the answers are, but I’m learning a lot from blogs like Free Range Kids, where Lenore Skenazy explores questions like why we feel the need to drive our kids to the bus stop, and why you might be called by the police if you allow your child to ride the train on his own. On Mike Lanza’s Playborhood blog, he writes about how he’s turning his front yard into an outdoor family room to encourage parents and kids in his neighborhood to socialize outdoors. Here in Rockland County, NY, Sonia Cairo at Keep Rockland Beautiful is putting together an Earth B.E.A.T enrichment program to take into schools with activities for kids that demonstrate gardening, recycling, energy conservation and nature study. Local educators can check out their Earth B.E.AT. School-to-School Symposium here.