Weekly Read: Shelf Life

Column: Shelf Life

"I took a shower with my refrigerator shelf last night, which is just every bit as sexy as it sounds."

Bat Kitteh is DISPLEASED With You

Bat Kitteh says "come a little closer so I can Ravage Your Face!!!"

See Also: Veterinarian, Not a Fan Of.

Column: The Care and Feeding of your Rabid Hyena  

Cookies

The Internet would have us believe that cookies are bad when, in reality cookies are good. Real good.

Sure Tracking Cookies sare bad when they are bringing you unwanted porn.

Cookies are GOOD however when they are bringing butter and sugar with a hint of salty goodness straight to your lips - and hips.

Yesterdays cooler weather (hello 63 degrees in Ohio in AUGUST?) has me on a cookie baking and soup making kick. (<- This is why I will never be thin). There is also a method to my madness. A friend swears that Aldi's brand Semi-Sweet Chocolate Chips are good enough to eat. Mr. Wonderful has steadfastly maintained that the only chocolate chip that will cross his lips is a Nestle Toll House chip. This then is our taste test. (Pay no attention to the burnt ones. We had a little issue with the timing on the first batch. We think the goats will like those. Can goats have chocolate? Anyone?) 

UPDATE: Aldi's chips are certainly quite good.

My Official Entry in the Cheap Persons Hall of Fame

And then there was that one time when I was profiled in Woman's Day for being just so incredibly cheap. (Woman's Day, September 2012, article by the very talented and savings savvy Sandy Fernandez.)

 And with this I officially become that friend you have to block because it's just "brag, brag and have I told you about my $1 jeans/" all the da#$ time. 

 

1-800 Smarty Pants

I think people just don't always get my sense of humor. Case in point: Talking with Customer Service for a website that will not load log-on for me. Finally figure it is a browser issue (?). Their site does not work with Chrome, Firefox, or Safari. 

"Can you use Explorer?" He asks. 

 "Not really" I say. 

"Why?" He asks. 

"Because it's not 1997?" 

He did not find me funny. At. All.

Dime Bag

A different kind of dime bag.

This Hollister beach/tote has been my daughter's go-to bag all summer long.

Made sweeter by the fact that I scored it for 10 cents (CENTS!) at a garage sale.

(Hint: Always look on the floor!) it was crumpled up under a table which is why I'm sure it wasn't snapped up earlier.

An Award? You Like Me! You Really, Really Like Me!

I don't usually brag (much) but um -- I WON AN AWARD. The National Newspaper Association awarded me "Honorable Mention, Best Humorous Column, Daily & Non‐daily Division, circulation 8,000 or more, The first cut is the deepest, Kymberly Foster Seabolt."

I have won an actual award for writing! Well for writing and ALMOST SEVERING MY OWN FINGER WITH A MANDOLIN SLICER BECAUSE I'M SIMPLE but really - for writing (and bleeding). I am so excited right now I cannot stand myself. Cue my Sally Field moment "You like me, You really, really like me!"

That, or they just took pity on a bleeder.