Only now does it occur to me... X-MEN: FIRST CLASS

Only now does it occur to me... that X-MEN: FIRST CLASS casts a few unexpected, terrific actors in its thankless bit parts (obviously, I'm not talking about lead villain Nazi-mutant Kevin Bacon, though he was indeed unexpected).

Ring-a-ding-ding

Let's see here– we have, in the DR. STRANGELOVE-style war room, 

none other than James Remar (48 HRS., THE WARRIORS, DEXTER) is wandering around the background as "US General," according to the end credits.

It's a waste– they should have at least had him dancing.

Also in the war room, Ray Wise (TWIN PEAKS, ROBOCOP) shows up for about five seconds as "Secretary of State."

This is definitely a waste– they should have had him cry-dancing.

Given the film's use of archival JFK footage and attempts to adhere to the timeline of the Cuban Missile Crisis, I suppose Ray Wise is technically playing Dean Rusk. For about five seconds.

Finally, in a slightly more substantial role, we have Michael Ironside as "Captain," doing his typical steel-jawed military hardass bit.  

He seems to be leading the forces of the American Navy during the final showdown, though for the most part he's only raising and lowering his binoculars, alternating between looking confused and concerned.

Concerned,

then

confused.

In all, I enjoyed this movie far more than I thought I would; and though I can complain that they underused three of my favorite actors, I can't really blame them for, in the face of an enormous budget, using the money to hire character acting legends to do glorified extra work.  Hell, if I had the money, I'd hire Michael Ironside to hang out at my apartment and do my laundry.

Only now does it occur to me... IRON MAN 3

Only now does it occur to me...  that in the new Marvel universe, political gain is directly linked to TALES FROM THE CRYPT seniority.  How else would you explain that the positions of President and Vice-President are occupied by the two actors who appeared in more TFTC's than any others?  That's right– we've got William Sadler (alumnus of 2 CRYPT episodes– including the pilot– and 2 CRYPT movies) as President:

and Miguel Ferrer (alumnus of 3 CRYPT eps) as Vice-President:

The only others who come close are Roy Brocksmith (3 CRYPT eps) who's deceased, and Cam Clarke (a usually uncredited voiceover actor on 3 CRYPT eps).

"Well now, Sean, doesn't that seem like a bit of a stretch to you, that a huge budget superhero movie in 2013 would give a damn about old Crypty?" is what you're probably thinking.  Well, allow me to remind you that this is a Shane Black film– and that his talented, criminally underused brother Terry Black wrote several episodes of HBO's TALES in addition to doing some dialogue work on its animated, kiddie companion series TALES FROM THE CRYPTKEEPER.

Anywho– as for the film– it's far, far better than IRON MAN 3 has any right to be, and it's awash with Shane Black touches, from cultural snark to smartass kids to ludicrously self-aware action setpieces.  Here's hoping he's earned himself enough Hollywood capital (with it's $1.2 billion worldwide gross) to make another KISS KISS BANG BANG, or something like it.

Only now does it occur to me... THE AVENGERS

Only now does it occur to me...  that THE AVENGERS is not in fact a stupendously budgeted CGI extravaganza, but in fact a bizarre safe haven for unexpected character actor cameos.  

For example, in this scene apparently involving the "World Security Council" we are entreated to none other than Powers Boothe (SOUTHERN COMFORT, RED DAWN, EXTREME PREJUDICE, TOMBSTONE, U TURN, SIN CITY, DEADWOOD), Jenny Agutter (Roeg's WALKABOUT, LOGAN'S RUN, EQUUS, AMAZON WOMEN ON THE MOON, DARKMAN, CHILD'S PLAY 2), and Donald Li (not pictured– "Eddie Lee" from BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA, MEMOIRS OF AN INVISIBLE MAN, ONE CRAZY SUMMER, SAVED BY THE BELL: HAWAIIAN STYLE).

They're fairly unrecognizable at first glance, but hey– they're still there.  And now we can partake in the vague satisfaction that the third highest-grossing film of all time has Powers Boothe in it.  It's not an actual satisfaction, just slight validation, like seeing your friend in a commercial or in an ad on the side of a bus.  I feel the same way about David Warner being in TITANIC.

Then we come to the major setpiece of the film– no, not the wholesale destruction of New York nor the opening of portals to dimensions out of Norse mythology– I'm talkin' 'bout Harry Dean Stanton, appearing here as an eighty-something security guard who encounters the Incredible Hulk:


Harry Dean Stanton:  national treasure and America's primo old man since the 1970s.  Needless to say, during this bit of the film, I had an enormous smile on my face.

Anyway, as to the film itself– it's big and dumb and overblown, but I enjoyed it far, far more than I thought I would, and not just because of the character actors.

(Final thought:  Thor should have been played by Dolph Lundgren.)