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563 pages, ebook
First published August 29, 2017
Maybe this could be a new chapter.
“This is life. And in all that’s happened in mine, the one thing I’ve learned is, as ugly as it gets, as bad as you mess up, if you keep going, it’ll get good again.”
“I had not allowed myself to think anything about Janie’s mother because I had not allowed myself to think I had the right to think anything about Janie’s mom.”
“When I told you before you shouldn’t, I didn’t mean it the way I mean how I’m telling you now you just won’t.”
A GIGANTIC, 300 PAGES LONG EPILOGUE!!!
-I wouldn’t be here … if I wasn’t all in, if I didn’t still love you. You said you still loved me too. So we have that. We hold on to it. And we ride these rapids until I can get us to safety. You with me?
-I’m with you.
I missed your smell. I missed those green eyes. I missed holding hands with you. And I missed just having coffee with you … We had a version of paradise, but this here? This is the real thing.
This wasn’t playing around. This wasn��t going slow. This was us, taking all we could get of everything we had as fast as we could.
➝ an irredeemable alpha male H,
Coert (28) was an undercover cop when he met Cady (23). She knew him as Tony, and he was investigating her friends whom she didn’t know were involved in some illegal shit at the time. Against his better judgement, he acted SELFISHLY and pursued a relationship with Cady whilst hiding his true identity.
➝ a very bizZzarre fake betrayal,
Upon finding out the truth about Coert, Cady was crushed. In throes of heartbreak, she accepted a proposition from a 65 yo gentleman and widower named Patrick. His intention was to adopt her into his family (Cady had a shitty home life), but the only way to do that was through marriage.
Coert was on his way to explain and come clean to Cady, when he learned of her engagement with the old man. He left thinking that she’d gotten herself a sugar daddy when in reality their relationship was strictly platonic and akin to that of father-daughter. So, in losing Coert she gained a family.
➝ a doormat heroine who was perfect in every way,
Young Cady was naive and vulnerable, but throughout the years she’d learned to be a saint. After her marriage with Patrick, she grew close with him and his children. She chose to stay married to him despite his blessing to go out and date people. She stuck with him and cared for him until he died of cancer. All the while she was also PINING for Coert and abstaining from sex.
➝ the quickest most instantaneous insta-love,
The first time Court & Cady met, it was love at first sight and they never stopped loving each other even after everything that’d happened between them. Sweet, right? 🤡
➝ an uncomplicated second chance romance,“Eighteen years ago Coert and I fell together against all odds.
Then it ended.
And neither of us got over it.
No more missed opportunities.
It was time to risk everything.”
Coert was 46 and Cady 41 when they reunited. While Cady had had time to come to terms with what happened between them, Coert was still holding on to his bitterness and wasn’t all that thrilled to have Cady back in his life. Hence, he acted like an asshole towards her (yet again). He did eventually admit that HE was to blame for their relationship going south.“I fucked us up. I fucked you up. From the beginning. Used you. Knew it was wrong. Knew it would break us. Knew it. Did it anyway.”
[...]
“I blamed you because I couldn’t take it. I laid that shit on you because I couldn’t live with the fact I’d done that to you. [...] You wanted out, I made you stay in. I made you a part of that. I made you live that right there. In it. Covering you in filth. In shit.”
[...]
“I’d come home and you’d smile at me and throw yourself in my arms and call me Tony. [...] Every day hoping that I’d give you reason to believe and every day I gave you reason to walk away, and you stuck by me and I was using you.”
[...]
“I loved you and I made you live a hell.”
And THAT’S the extent of his grovelling (which is to say, it’s not one at all) and, I guess, apology cause Cady assuaged him of that guilt, assured him that it was all behind them, and proceeded to be all forgiving and shit. Everything was back to sunshine and rainbows. Then they fucked like rabbits. Wait, ACTUALLY, they did the make up sex BEFORE Coert’s explanation. That’s how much behind them Cady’d put their past history . . .Coert looked into emerald eyes.
Christ, how did he start?
Christ, how did he fix something that he broke before he’d even started it?
“I should have let you explain. I should have explained myself what—”
He didn’t say any more.
She threw herself at him.
➝ an extended epilogue the size of Texas and as long as the Nile river,
I’ll have you know that pretty much ALL OF THAT was unpacked and resolved within the 50% mark. The following chapters were basically Coert and Cady’s HEA—them doing domestic stuff, being all gushy, getting to know each other’s families, rediscovering and catching up with each other’s lives, exploring their relationship, and planning for their future.
“We both suffered but neither of us stopped living our lives and we got so much out of them, so, so much. And now we have each other. So we have it all.”
"We had a version of paradise, but this here? This is the real thing."
He finally looked into her eyes. “I loved you and I made you live a hell.”
“I loved you and I was happy to be in that hell if you were there with me.”
After a painful loss, Cady Moreland is coming to Magdalene to start the next chapter of her life. A chapter that began eighteen years ago but had a heartbreaking ending. The time in between was full of family and friendship, but Cady could never get the man she fell in love with all those years ago out of her heart.
Coert Yeager has learned to live without the girl who entered his life right when she shouldn’t and exited delivering a crippling blow he never would have suspected. The time in between was full of failing to find what he was missing…and life-altering betrayal.
But when that girl shows up in Magdalene and buys the town’s beloved lighthouse, even if Coert wants to avoid her, he can’t. A fire in town sparks a different kind of flame that won’t be ignored...
“It breaks me.”
I turned back to her and it took a great deal, too much, to stare into her beautiful brown eyes shining with tears and not allow my own to come.
“What you could have had,” she finished. “What you two could have build together. When I think about it, it breaks me.”
Eighteen years ago Coert and I fell together against all odds.
Then it ended.
And neither of us got over it.
No more missed opportunities.
It was time to risk everything.
“I think it’s safe to say out loud that you went back there because you’re still in love with him and you wanted to see if that could be salvaged,” Kath said baldly.
I drew in a sharp breath and kept staring at the view.
“Right?” she pushed. “Is that safe to say?”
“Yes,” I whispered.
“If we do this, we have to learn something from what came before.”
“What’s that?” she asked quietly.
“We have to learn, even when it gets hard, we can’t give up and we can’t let go.”
His voice dipped low when he said, “If we make it hard, if we make a big deal of it, if we communicated there’s something to worry about or if we feel we might be doing something wrong, Janie’ll read that. If we are just what we are right here and right now, and your family is good to her and me, which I know they’ll be because they love you, then we’ve got nothing to worry about.”
“Can you see how all this is intense?” she demanded. “It isn’t like we were too young and hadn’t learned how to communicate yet, how to compromise, how to be in a relationship. There was murder and felonies and my family didn’t help… It went wrong. Okay, so it went horribly wrong, devastatingly wrong. But not we have a choice. Keep letting it go wrong or make it right.”
“Are you, um… going to ravage me again?” I asked.
“You want me to sit here and try to find words to tell you how much I love you or you want me to show you?”
* * * * * * * Review Contains Spoilers * * * * * * *
“I don’t wanna see you. I don’t wanna hear from you. I don’t want anything to do with you. I can’t imagine what would give you even that first hint that I’d ever wanna have you even a shadow in my life again.”