There was an incident

I took Kosov for a ride on VLine train yesterday. I think he was soon satisfied by the journey. He enjoyed my excitement when the train cracked 160 km/h, 100mph. I mucked up the platform number and I think I know why. The problem is the ultimate terminus names. Large on screens should be Geelong, Ballarat, Shepparton and Bendigo, then in a smaller font, the ultimate terminus. Wendouree, Marshall etc is just hopeless. 

I was going to take Kosov to Sunbury but because of my confusion, we just missed the train. It was an hour until the next one so I thought we'd catch the next VLine service to Melton. None of the stations we stopped at along the way seemed to have shops, but at the Melton terminus there were some and we had some food and a drink in a bakery. The VLocity trains are quite comfortable if a little noisy from the motors. Unfortunately on our return, as a same looking train had terribly hard seats. My god, 40 minutes of sitting on such awful seats is enough. How was this allowed!

Anyway, I didn't really mean to talk about personal stuffs in this post. There was an incident, a serious one on the street below.

I thought of describing what happened to my readers and translating it for those who drive on the wrong side of the road. I got to with the translation 'You are travelling on the right hand side of the road, with a dedicated cycling lane on your right. You are going to turn right at the next intersection and the cyclist is riding straight ahead, so you must give way to the cyclist on your right who is riding straight ahead'. And then my brain failed about travelling at making the turn. 

I hope the injuries the rider suffered are not serious but it didn't look great. I met the neighbour who has cameras on his balcony about three weeks ago. He is nice. The incident happened about a week later. 

In the clip the incident happens in the first few seconds. Clearly the motorist was in the wrong, but I also think the rider was not looking after their own safety. The car's left indicator was on and its intentions were clear. Riders need to be alert to stupid motorists for their own self preservation. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=41NPLjAmn1E

Pleasuring myself

I live for other people (some of you unkind types are spluttering), but nevertheless I decided to buy myself a Christmas gift. 

My Hairdresser Friend proclaimed, "Andrew, your desk monitor is too low and that won't be helping your arthritis. You can buy a stand to raise the monitor up to eye level", she firmly suggested.

I thought about this and what I did do was raise the level of my desk chair, and the new position wasn't initially comfortable but I became used to it. 

But still her advice sat at the back of my brain, such as it is, and eventually I went to the big blue shed to look. Oh, I like the look of this one, the salesperson had just showed me. I asked if there was a bag big enough to carry the stand if I bought it and he said no. Not that it was heavy but the box was a decent size and I still had other places to visit in the city.  No sale and I eventually returned home. 

I could make a dedicated trip to the store with a large bag or Kosov to carry it but I decided to hop in the car and drive to the nearest big blue shed, after checking online that there was one in stock. I also broke the bank by buying one printer ink cartridge. How are these things so expensive!

Once home, with no sign of Kosov as he was out job hunting (I've suggested prostitution to him), I attempted to assemble the stand by following the directions. Aside from the contents list, the instructions were useless and I was a little concerned that there was an empty box in the large carton. Apparently it was used as filler to keep things in place. I used my own nous and worked it out. Still, two long strips puzzled me.  The height is adjustable by adding or removing leg pieces. It's not the prettiest thing, but very functional. Note the slot for your phone, in this case Kosovo's no longer functioning 3G phone, as mine took the photo, and a slot for pens. 

And it has a pull out drawer, and I discovered the strips were for dividers in the drawer. I have now filled the drawer with stuffs. It didn't slide smoothly so I gave it some lubricant and lube can work magic, and worked well in this case. 

Will it cure my arthritis? No, it is a physical wear, but there are things you can do to help. Certain exercises, trying to keep a good posture and a few other things I focus upon. 

Malaphore

Do you know the word? I didn't. 

To my shame, I've practiced malaphores in public. I wasn't arrested.

No one has ever remarked on my I think my sole malaphore that I've used on my blog more than once, it being, "And what really gets up my goat".

It is a combination of two expressions, being "What really get up my nose is...", and "What really gets on my goat is...".

Have you ever malaphored?  Do you mangle our beautiful language in a deliberate manner? I do like a bit of word play. 

After today's heat and stress over will writing, I am going to bed now with a bit of a migrant. I'll feel better tomorrow.  

Monday Mural

The temperature forecast for tomorrow is 41/109, and in the north of the state, 46/115, and unfortunately I have an appointment in Footscray to rewrite my will, such an easy place to get to by tram and train, but oh the heat. Trains have effective air conditioning and I know which trams have air con. I could drive in cool comfort of my motor car but I don't know the roads and where would I park? I know the tram and train better and even though I will be exposed to some heat, it will be less stressful. 

Kosov wanted to come with me, to look after the old man in heat and had chosen a colourful umbrella to shade me, but I told him to stay home and accept my meals on wheels delivery. 

On to the mural, like Sami does, or maybe not is she is perhaps travelling, although I don't know what I will show this week? But wait.

These seem appropriate as India and Australia battle it out in a test cricket matches. Our Indian immigrants turn on my country they profess to love and barrack for India. Test matches are played in some smaller capital cities but culminate at Melbourne's Cricket Ground, the MCG,  beginning with the Boxing Day test. A friend will be there on the first day, and Sister and Bone Doctor on the second day.

Sunday Selections

Hello all. Today is Sunday Selections day so I am participating along with Elephant's Child, River and others. 

Let's start with the Sir McPherson Robertson fountain in the Domain. I've shown it before but it so gorgeous, I will publish my latest video.

Our Friend in Japan, who has moved back to Australia, then returned to Japan and is now on a cruise until sometime in March, and she will then return from Japan to Australia permanently. At some point I will post her terrific itinerary. I believe she gave us the cat magnet/tea towel holder but I don't know where the ladybird came from. 

Decorating tram stops to promote things has become more common. 

Trams with all over advertising look terrific, unless you are a passenger inside trying to see where your stop is. 

A delightful block of apartments, in South Yarra I think. The rooms within will be very large. 

Why did I take this photo? Was I communicating with someone who had a foot fetish? I can't remember. The weather must have been warm as I just have a sheet over me and the doona is pushed aside. While the rest of me falls apart, my feet are still ok. 

Aids for the ageing

I was in Port Melbourne and there is a rare shop there, a Reject Shop. They used to be everywhere. It is somewhat like a $2 shop/£1 shop. I had no intention of buying anything there but I did. I bought some tinsel, I checked the price of the store's dishwasher detergent tablets to confirm it was still the cheapest, and I bought a twin roll of small garbage bags.

Then I found myself in the old person's aisle. So I bought a set of steps and a kneeling mat.

Lordy, I had spent over $20. 

"Kosov, are you impressed with what I have bought?"

"Yes Andrewww."

The steps are brill and I am sure in the future the kneeling mat will be useful. I've been using a milk crate to reach shelves. The steps have non slip feet. 

"Kosov, when Phyllis returns you can borrow the kneeling mat." While he has a deepish voice, he shrieked, Andewww. What fun to shock young people. I remember being shocked myself when I was young at what some gay men would come out with, much worse than I did to Kosov about the kneeling mat, or Phyllis for that matter. 

Christmas prep

Ray: I am not putting up a tree this year. I am not doing Christmas cards. I am not decorating.

Me: Yes dear.

I've heard this for a number of years but always, the tree went up, cards were posted and Christmas decorations were spread. Of course not so this year.

I had no intention of decorating myself but, there was something special I wanted to get out. I know I donated the two Christmas trees, and I thought most of the decorations and lights but I am sure I kept snowman. 

And I did. I found it today with a few other very old items and some tinsel. I spread a little tinsel around and added the ornaments. 

This was what I really wanted to find, years old and comes out once a year. It is lit by a tea candle inside. 

Also many years old. 

A little newer. Kosov was impressed by the colours.

This one has a speaker, but it has only been used for its changing lights.

Hair Dresser Friend was insistent that we make Christmas cakes together, having a cocktail or three while we did so, just as she and Ray used to. I had to decline. I am sure I would have teared up at best, if we tried to recreate what they both did. She made her cake at home and decorated her small apartment with Christmas lights I had given her. Both looked fabulous.  

I am sending cards this year to Ray's sisters and anyone who sends me a card early enough for me to send one back. Kosov wanted to try cheese and mac, and so has gone out to buy some. When he returns, he will write out my cards and address the envelopes. I must get them in tomorrow's post.