Talk:French submarine Y/GA1
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[edit]The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Reviewer: Amitchell125 (talk · contribs) 19:15, 14 August 2023 (UTC)
Happy to review this one. AM
Review comments
[edit]Lead section / infobox
[edit]stricken – (here and in the text of the article) ‘struck’? (“Stricken” usually refers to something being struck down by something bad, e.g. a disease or a blow.)
- True, but my sources specifically use stricken.
- Understood. AM
The ‘Total ships scrapped=1’ line in the infobox seems unnecessary, as information to tell readers the machine was scrapped is provided.I have uploaded an image at Wikicommons here, which I think could be included in the article.- That's actually X, not Y. I did forget to upload a plan of Y's hull showing her torpedo installation, which is about the only out-of-copyright image that I've been able to find.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 09:46, 16 August 2023 (UTC)
- Apologies, the online source labelled it as Y. Amitchell125 (talk) 10:51, 16 August 2023 (UTC)
- Nothing to apologize for.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 11:14, 16 August 2023 (UTC)
- Apologies, the online source labelled it as Y. Amitchell125 (talk) 10:51, 16 August 2023 (UTC)
1 Background and description
[edit]Consider linking diesel engine; combustion.- Diesel is linked in the lede, combustion added
Replace the link for overall length with Length overall.- Good catch
44.9 metres (147 ft 4 in) – I haven’t seen these units linked for a long time—are the links needed here?- No, not at all
Y had an overall length – the text in this paragraph should be amended so that Y is properly introduced. I would start the sentence with something like ‘Y was a single-hulled submarine that had an overall length’.- I'm not at all sure that it's necessary since Y is introduced in the lede as a submarine.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 09:59, 16 August 2023 (UTC)
- I am sure. The main article isn't a continuation of the lead section, and so it should be explained what Y is where it is first mentioned in the main text. Amitchell125 (talk) 10:45, 16 August 2023 (UTC)
- Done.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 11:16, 16 August 2023 (UTC)
- I am sure. The main article isn't a continuation of the lead section, and so it should be explained what Y is where it is first mentioned in the main text. Amitchell125 (talk) 10:45, 16 August 2023 (UTC)
2 Construction and career
[edit]Link commissioned (as in the lead); Gaston Thomson.- If it's linked in the lede, I see no point to link it again, especially for such a short article.
the Navy Minister – consider amending to ‘the French Navy Minister’, for the sake of clarity.- This seems unnecessary as what other country's Navy Minister could it be?
Unlink decommissioned (disambiguation page, and not imo needed).- Done.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 10:05, 16 August 2023 (UTC)
On hold
[edit]I'm putting the article on hold for a week until 24 August to allow time for the issues raised to be addressed. Regards, Amitchell125 (talk) 06:58, 16 August 2023 (UTC)
Passing
[edit]Nice work, passing now. Regards, Amitchell125 (talk) 11:41, 16 August 2023 (UTC)
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.