Eva Cassidy

Old footage and colonial history documentary ft Kenya

Snake - R Kelly

Number 1 - R Kelly / Hilson

Ron Isley

Top chat..and way too cold to sleep outside..

Funniest TV quote on I'm a celebrity..."There's no way, in a million years, that I could have slept with two snakes!"
The kagagoogoo guy said it... do we believe him?

I got in, turned on the TV and that was the first thing I heard..
Funny :)
Had a nice evening in class.. explored some post-colonial theorists a little more, and issues surrounding concepts of culture and identity. Doesn't take much to make me smile, and the discussions tonight were quite energising.. good stuff. It's really cold outside so glad to be in.
I passed a homeless guy who said he was ex services. I honestly felt that there should be guaranteed homes for any ex military personnel... could they not take it from the military budget? ( It struck me as odd, I know some may ask why should they receive special treatment.. but .. I don't know.. just seemed wrong somehow)
Homelessness is no joke.. worst in the winter.

Empowering people..

This is a phrase that’s often used, yet quite loosely defined.
Can you empower another? hmmm.. yes, at least you can certainly facilitate it.
It’s said that 'when the student is ready the teacher will appear', so does the process always begin within?... again.. not necessarily, as 'when the teacher is ready... the student will appear' also.
In order to empower another does that person need to realise or feel dis-empowered.. and what if they don’t?. What if the person feels empowered in an dis-empowered state?.

I think over the coming years if the economic system continues to destabilise, or if the overall mood changes and people feel oppressed, growing frustration may cause many to begin asking questions, demanding more and accepting less.
And by more I'm talking in terms of the quality of life.. freedom.. respect etc, and not materiality.
Watching the news this morning there was another ‘what makes you happy’ section, and many of the people expressed very simple things. Good job, family, good friends, etc.

So ( as we know) it doesn't really take much. Yet what may happen increasingly is, if those simple things become infringed upon.. when the ‘turn a blind eye not in my back yard syndrome’ becomes ‘can’t turn away , and it is in my backyard... empowerment will be a must.
The London disturbances last year were interesting in that they split the country in terms of those who were quite intolerant of it.. and those who felt they had an understanding of it.
What came out of it, in fact.. seems to be, very little. The IPCC seem unable to ever really make a case that holds water ( in cases where there is cause for concern/ an abuse of power or even a possible racist element) The IPCC seem to effectively placate, yet after the dust settles, what then...? ( who knows.. maybe they are a strong force and just need better P.R) the government ( days and weeks afterwards) were able to change the rules of the game, intervene in the law courts sentencing structure, and crack down hard. A sentence for a bottle of water, is pretty hard.
Anyway, I digress
My point is ...
Are people empowered when they go against the status quo, or are they empowered when they go along with.. and are rewarded for it.
When we talk about empowering people what exactly are we saying?.. Is it important?... if so why? And is it in our hands.. or theirs?

Captains log : Stardate 21st November 2012

Not sure where to begin with this post.
Those of who who have read my blog long enough will know that a captains log is usually a little more personalised or thoughtful in nature.. so feel free to skip.. some mushy girly stuff.

As I awoke today and began to get ready many thoughts began to flow though and around my mind. Some pleasant, some not so pleasant. Mostly there were questions... the likes of which rarely provide an answer. I wondered about the meaning of things. How the easy can easily become the difficult. I realise that you can’t pour new wine into old bottles so to speak. That with so many souls on the planet operating at different vibrations it can seem isolating when not being able to find those similar souls. Yet again sometimes we do.. but its rare.

One of the reasons I enjoy writing this blog is because it‘s a little like keeping a diary, watching my own life timeline unfold, sharing my thoughts and feelings without having to worry about anything. There are things I don’t talk about though. Often not for any particular reason.. but sometimes because I have no idea who’s reading this stuff.. well some I know.. but by far not all. I tend not to talk about Israel or Gaza (it's coming though).. I also tend not to talk about sex much... I'm not saying I would never, sure as the sun may shine I may...but some things are a little more sacred to me I guess.. ( ( extra I know.. I mean private) . and I sway not to the gratuitous, and depends on the vibe.
Still.. Ultimately this blog is freedom to be.. Freedom to say.. Freedom to think
My own feelings today are a mixture of... can’t articulate fully but possibly sadness, frustration, and isolation. You know those days where you could do with a hug, wallow a bit, feel loved up a bit. ( I definitely have some female Libran qualities) .
There are times I love silence...other times I like company.. like to talk, and equally to listen, yet conversations tend to scratch the surface at times, other times... it’s just not possible.

I wondered about love and manipulation. Wondered if there are unspoken contracts/agreements that say, if you do x, y or z, then I will love you, if not... I will not. Wondered why the unquantifiable is often quantified, and the unquestionable questioned.
I realise that maybe it’s because many people just don’t know... and each will create love in their image, and can only ‘know’ , to the depths in which they exist in the moment, are willing to feel, and truly allow themselves to be vulnerable with another, and honest with themselves. Our busy lives rarely accommodate such depth of thought or being, unless we make the effort, yet also it takes courage, as often judgement is the reward.

Yes sometimes I do feel like sod it, can’t be asked. Those who have eyes to see will see.
I also thought about the purpose of thought itself.
Sometimes it's nice to chill, relax, do nothing.
Whatever.
I'm happy being a girl

Chances are you'll hear this again..in the car.. or a store near you

Not even December and I heard my first 2012 Christmas song today in the cafe.. brace yourself..



We are fast approaching that time of year. Always bittersweet.
2013 approaches.. some will begin to set life goals, reflect on the past year, give thanks for what they have..some will begin to awaken to new levels of consciousness, some may not.. children may begin to ask for what toys they would like.. parent/s or family members start to look shifty as everyone prefers to stay at home and chill really.. minimal fuss.. ( but noone wants to offend) still.. one day at at time.

I may dig this one out again when the season really kicks in. Or I may not.
It's a beautiful song to be fair.

Dr. Afrika on diabetes

Despite the serious nature of this interview.. the look on the face of the host at times is quite humorous

On extreme consciousness.. and wearing knickers

It can be said that we are at our most revealing when we feel we have nothing to lose... or everything to lose.
Our lives become a careful dance of avoidance... avoiding either of those two extremes or both.
As a result, we operate somewhere in the middle. We hold middle ground, never being tested, or experiencing the testing. Polar opposites, the nature of duality, always dependant on ones perception of all... and of nothing.

**

A friend of mine spent her evening in the gym. Having enjoyed the luxury of the spa she got ready for bed.. it was late. She put on her bed shirt, got fully oiled up, and began to venture home.. wearing .. no knickers.
Not wearing knickers to bed??.. now that’s asking for trouble.. I thought at the time..has she not heard of the law of attraction.. what if a burglar came over?... hmmm.. I guess she has.. her point entirely.
Anyway... she got stuck in the lift.
She had to be rescued by the firemen who told her she had to climb out.
With horror she had to confess to her knicker-less situation.
They promised not to look
“Did they ask you to climb up the shaft??” I asked her...
She didn’t get it.
Now there are many reasons for wearing knickers.. One being... you may get stuck in a lift..
No knickers when out with a boyfriend can work ( If you want to surprise him over dinner.. or under) but on a regular day... Best to wear pants methinks.
Besides.. knickers are too pretty nowadays.. not to want to wear them... they're not permanently attached, and can come off when required.

Alton Ellis & Bob Andy Selection

The Alchemist

I have committed myself to completing a new album. My producer has been calling and texting for weeks, and yesterday... finally... I responded.
I have no preconceived ideas with regards to how it should turn out. I know I have a few covers, namely a Bob Andy cover that I’d began to tackle, but other than that... my aim is to just sit and write it all on the guitar, then go in. Some tracks may remain acoustic, many I suspect will not.

It’s funny really when we look at life. I first worked with this guy when I was 15, over at the studio in Harlesden. He’s one of the most talented musicians I know, very funny, and easy to work with. Over the years his band has band pretty much backed every reggae artist to enter into the U.K from Jamaica, and are pretty much the UK's leading band so I feel like I'm in safe hands.
One thing, he has never forgotten me.

My thoughts today veered towards the Alchemist. I remember vaguely (as I read it many years ago) that the protagonist ventured forth in search of something... only to find, that he had it all along.
In many ways I feel like that. I've come to the realisation that what I've been looking for, I've always had. Me...simply me.
I’m growing up.
Someone said it would happen, and sure enough, it is. Drat.

I realise that when you commit to a new way of being (or old way of being depending on how you want to look at it) it changes everything. It changes the way you relate.. to things, and to people. It’s also difficult to go back once you know, or become aware... it’s not impossible, nothing is (and all is a choice) but.. it’s difficult... and ultimately, it will change the way that others relate to you.

An example can be how you respond to insults, or subjective statements made not in your favour. You may find that they will cease to have the impact they may once have had, simply because you recognise truth. You recognise that often they are made with the sole intention of causing harm or hurt ( your memory tells you this) yet they hold very little power, as untruths rarely do. This doesn't mean you do not experience hurt, or even anger, but it may begin to flow through you, not become you. Something... will no longer allow you to go there.
In the arena of relationships, those that are built on mistrust, control, domination or subjugation which are often the norm in our society, carry little, or no appeal.
As some of us know, a relationship that is built on mutual trust, understanding, respect and a commitment to spiritual and personal growth of both, each becoming the best they can be, coaxing out the best in each other, challenging old thought processes, overcoming differences, (or demons within if you like ) as two become as one, is not only an achievable aim, but one of the finest experiences known to mankind.

I truly believe that’s the point.

At times the simplicity of my statements may come across naive, or idealistic. I am aware of that. However, that does not make my sentiments untrue.

From time to time I have considered becoming more involved in politics. Why? because I have a lot to say, and often, politics can be a vehicle to connect thoughts and words, to a larger number of people... however, so can a creative venture, and in truth, I am a creative.
So politics is out.

The point of that statement was to lead me to something I was told last week by a person who doesn't even know me that well (or so I thought). On my becoming more political she said, “you could never. You have too much heart”.
I quizzed her for a second then left it at that. I wondered if she was right, and if so, is it detrimental?
Possibly in the midst of the heartless too much can seem like an anomaly yes, but is it not a desirable state for us a people?

I'm currently reading Cesaire’s discourse on colonialism. Frantz Fanon was a student of Cesaire so you have perhaps an indication of his school of thought. The book itself is beautifully written, fluid and poetic, guiding you easily from one page to the next. The subject matter, however damning is approached with heart. Not for him the bourgeois prose of the fearful, or the careful, Cesaire is blunt, but his words are filled with love. In reading his work and thinking about how we relate to each other I've come to the realisation that somewhere in our histories, the heart was replaced by the intellect. ( which in itself without heart, is arguably not intellect all, but perhaps something quite different). This ‘switch’ can perhaps be traced right back to colonialism, which by all intents and purposes was the total and actual, annihilation of the heart, or any fanciful indulgences within the realm of love, spirituality, or humanity.

So if you are accused of having too much heart...take heart. You are not doing too badly. To succeed in holding onto that which is most precious, when all about you give way, it’s not only heart you have, but you have retained a connection to a creative force that is more commonly known as god.
It is you.
You, are the Alchemist.

Beres Hammond

Cocoa Tea selection

and finally.. First Date. My all time favourite Cocoa Tea track. Brings back wonderful memories of a truly beautiful time. Hope you like it too.

The souls of man.

When you look deep into the soul of man
You can never un see what was seen
never undo what was done
for in the soul of man lies all

When under threat of losing what matters to them they lash out
Where there is no honour among thieves
The jury has deliberated and love is found wanting
As each point the finger of blame elsewhere
Yet true evidence is there
should it ever be required
should the house of cards ever begin to topple
and the real reason becomes clear

For in our hearts our true intent lies
When deceivers become the deceived
Only under scrutiny shall we know ourselves and each other
Often it doesn't take much
Question is
Do we like what is there

Are we prepared to face our frailties and insecurities
jealousies and spitefulness.
Our do we bury them under smiles and playfulness
Only for them to resurface again.. and again.

Do we bury them with a well honed act
When in reality, they eat away at the soul.
Or do we embrace true oneness
Do we raise our minds and souls, our spirit from out of the dustbin of life
The gutter...
where service to self dominates service to others
and selfishness reigns, as oneness becomes I, me, myself and mine.
By any means necessary

Hear me when I say I was neither the reason nor the cause
Did not request it or require it
Just being a friendly ear at the time when it was asked for
Had my reservations and voiced them
I was clear, if no one else.

Let love save the souls of man
As nothing else seems to be working
and nothing else ever will

Graduation day memories..

Got there in the end..

Did Vel join the illuminanti..? nah.. its just me fooling around..

We were treated to some wonderful moving and inspiring speeches, listened to some amazing Phd studies (cool robe) and enjoyed the achievements of all. Caught up with a few of my fellow students and lecturers who I was so pleased to see. I'd missed them.
All in all.. it was a great day. I'm quite tired now so, will either drag myself to class.. or settle in and catch up on some reading this evening instead.
Not sure which.

Grateful to be growing wiser each day. Real cool.
To Dad.
Better late than never. Still, where there's life..it's never too late to go for what you want.

Rihanna

I haven't heard this in awhile.
It's my little song. Yes, too cute.
Thought I'd give it a play this afternoon. Why not.

Letter to King. The Game ft Nas

How many shoes

I had a conversation today with a friend about the power/ law of attraction
Basically during our discussion she mentioned her concerns with this 'new age'.. yet in reality 'age old' movement.
The main cause of her concern being that the premise is often... 'Use your higher self to get the material things you want'.
Eloquently put as "30 pieces of silver being the reward you receive for compromising or selling out your higher self".

In truth, the law of attraction is often used to gain material things.
It's often used to cater purely to the ego.
Yet what we want often changes. We get what we want then want more. more shoes, a bigger house, more money etc etc.

The law of attraction proves the power that exists within us all.
Can you imagine what it would be like if that power was used to serve a higher purpose?. To serve the good of mankind, and not just our 'individual' selves.

I just began to create a vision board but I'm actually going to review it.
I'm going to review many things to ensure that my thoughts, words and actions are aligned with that which I know to be true, and continue to do so on a regular basis.

My friend spoke of the many compromises she had made over the years, and that she is not prepared to make them any more... that she valued her soul at far greater than 30 pieces of silver, so to speak.
Yet we know of themselves, things have no meaning. We give a meaning to things.. a meaning we create, then we create identities that correspond to those meanings, giving meaning to the meaningless...
It's often said that we are are what we think... but are we?. The mind will trick us every time if we allow it to.

The pursuit of materialism is thwart with challenges. Often (in those cases) we gain the admiration of others just like us, and we feed off each others energy and mutual adoration as we attract others just like us.. adoration which rises and falls depending on the fascination of the time.
Yet, it can be an empty existence, filled with empty conversation.. empty, yet intoxicating.
Until however, the pull towards greater satisfaction and being, becomes so great it can no longer be ignored.
That's when we become wiling perhaps, and strong enough, to bury those 30 pieces of silver in a yard far far away.

My tune of the day.. Kendrick Lamar & Dr. Dre

The suns out and the air is sharp and easy.
Took a stroll.. this song playing in my head..
Park looks beautiful
The hypnotic melody..

When we see the god within

We are incapable of inflicting harm with intent.
Laws that we create, we do so to substitute mans inability to use their own capabilities to govern themselves in accordance with universal spiritual law.
I wonder what what would happen if all laws were removed.
Would we then see the god in others?.
Is our very survival dependent on it?.
But that's how laws came about in the first place right?
As we couldn't, wouldn't, didn't..
But that doesn't mean it's a lost cause.. and that it can't be now
But lost souls can't guide lost souls and get found you say..
That's true.. the blind surely been leading the blind for too long now
But comes a time when what's lost can be found..
Just gotta look hard enough.. and never stop
and sometimes you gotta accept what's lost

Maybe when we get tired of fighting.. maybe when we get tired of hating
Maybe when we get tired of asking..then maybe then, well see

Happy Sunday x

Lauryn Hill

Ti rade.. the world of Ti

I've got to hand it to Ti sometimes.

According to him, college is harder than prison.
Apparently, you can look bad in prison and no one will care. But the moment you step out.. better look sharp.
This from the boy thats never been to prison.
oh okay son, I forgot the fashion element.
I suppressed the urge to connect my elbow to his jawline ( I kid) and asked him if he was serious as he munched on the olives.
Yeah..
Hmmm..Got college work huh.. I wondered.
He then went on to tell me he saw a rastaman in army combat camouflage trousers, which were tucked into his socks...that when he looked up( he smiled at this) the same man had on a crisp white shirt and tie.

Why in gods name are you telling me this I wondered.
Turns out Ti just really wants to go clothes shopping.
off you go son.. and take your tall stories with you.

Or.. be like the dude down Dalston.. start trendsetting

He's annoyingly funny at times.
When he turned on the TV the advert of starving children came on.. he said "what would you do if you saw me on there?".... I said "I'd laugh".. then promptly did just that.
Arse :).

Heptones, Meditations and the Mighty Diamonds.. Saturday selection

Where Angels fear to tread

Where angels fear to tread go I
In the midst of darkness, light leads the way
Though the path may be rocky, I move with grace
As angels fear not all

With an abundant satchel and full heart
The earth responds in kind
In joy and understanding we reap
The love we sow each day

As the moon collides with the sun and darkness befals the earth
As stars lose their lustre in the nights sky
When only rain can quench the thirst of those who seek moisture
The journeys mission becomes clear.

That I walk this road of infinity
And forever seems a long way off
My destination becomes closer with every step
As angels fear not I

Court Jesters and Kings

Took Chrome's advice and had a good nights sleep.

Gonna continue to have a restful weekend, write a shopping list and give to the boys.
Had a nice chat with a friend last night. Very insightful she was, as I made her laugh about a thing or two.. actually made myself laugh a bit.
Things which on the surface are not funny, yet in the pauses something removes the upset, and replaces it with a smile.
She reminded me that when people come into your life you can never be totally sure what role they may play, and as we approach the end of another year we should reflect on the lessons that life give us, and find comfort, and wisdom, in what we learn

She told me some things that really made me think.. made me wonder how some people can say and do the things they say and do, with so little awareness, care or love.

A guy once told her he couldn't love her until he had x amount of thousands in the bank... that he needed his energy for that. She helped him make those thousands and he naffed off anyway.. in the new car she helped him buy.
I listened for a moment then said.. " well , that's what happens when you expect the court jester to be king!"
she laughed.

I was joking, but we thought about that for a second or two and realised that often we do. Expect or hope people will be, or can be, that which they are not.
The decision remains in their hands and their hands alone.

There's a fine line between a prince and a pauper, the art is truly knowing which is which.

Blank

There are days like these.
When everything stops.
They exist at the end of rainbows
The bottom of wells
They are the pointlessness of merry go rounds.
The boots of Dick Whittington
The are the confetti left on the ground after a party
The stray broom bristle
The waterless tap
Days like these we remember
When we'd really like to forget

***

I am not great today.
Last night I was absolutely freezing the length of my spine.
No matter what I did , I couldn't get warm
I was awake most of the night as a result.
I believe I 'slept an hour, between four and five
I'm looking forward to feeling fitter, like I used to.
Feel empty

I don't know.

To be or not to be

Who you are and who you want to be
I actually wrote this post in the bath this morning. Too much information I know.

It’s only relevant as it’s where I'm able to do some of my clearest thinking. It’s just me alone with my thoughts... or at times, no thoughts at all, just stillness.
Anyway, what struck me today was how many of us never become the people we want to be, and why.
Truth is, whenever a person says I’d love to be like (whatever) in the future.. that’s pretty much where it remains.
I’m going to try to explain this however inarticulately, so I apologise in advance.

The person you want to be exists in the here and now. Some may say they want to be less impatient, less angry, or happier, yet fail to address the behaviours that they find unappealing as they occur, or as they show up in their lives. There doesn't have to be a grand statement or announcement to the masses, and this work may take time, but the fact is that if you choose to become immediately, the person you want to be, you will be it.
Some may argue okay well hang on.. I want to be a multi millionaire in the future, but I actually have -0 in the bank right now. How can I be that person today? right now?
I would say, “who would you be if you were a multi millionaire..?”
That person may then say.. “Well I’d be travelling, buying properties, clothes businesses etc”
I would then say,” that’s what you would be doing.. I said who would you be.. how would you feel.. tell me about you”
They may then go on to say things like .. “Well I’d be happier, less stressed, a nicer person, friendly, spend more time with family and friends etc”
And that’s my point.
Be that now.
You can live your multi millionaire life right now if you think about it.

The only thing stopping us from being who we want to be, is who we are now.
Our resentments, anger, greed or any other behaviour that's in total contrast to our highest purpose, our truest nature, can be dealt with right now.

Before we know it.. that person we’ve always wanted to be .. is exactly who we are.
No doubt.

Black America White America.. United States of America

I watched a very interesting news report yesterday on why republicans failed to win the US elections.
In the report it was made clear that there had been record numbers (71%)of Latino voters,
93% African Americans... voted for Obama.
The crux of the report was that the changing demographics were leaving the republicans with a slightly outdated image. The reporter stated that they ( republicans)had (in the past) relied on the votes of angry white men.. and there simply aren't enough of them around.

According to the report another vote loser was the 'republicans' remarks on abortion.. which put women off significantly

Interesting

Cool dude..

I think the report failed to mention Obamas ability to connect with people from diverse backgrounds.. made it come across as though blacks simply voted for blacks.

Yet anyone who knows anything about black people at all..should perhaps know that in reality the opposite is true. We're a colonised bunch, and colonialism is all about divide and rule, superiority vs inferiority, divisions, opposites, duality.. e.g I'm rich you're poor/ African/Caribbean/dark/light/ Nigerian/Ghana/ Somalian/ Jamaican St Lucian.. tall short/ fat thin... so many divisions, ways to exclude and separate. Black people are not normally renown for supporting each other ( so to speak), so as an observer of these things I'll go out on a limb and say the term black can actually mean ( in this context)..divided.
So ingrained are these thought processes, that they actually occur effortlessly, and left unchallenged, are pretty much normalised.
Many are just plain unaware.
So the fact that so many have voted for Obama is.. well..somewhat unusual.. yet very very interesting..

Now I'm not implying that there aren't those who may simply have voted for Obama because he's 'black' but if you look deeper, you may find that it's more about the way he makes them feel. The image of a man who looks like them.. and more importantly appears to feel as they do... impacts on them in positive ways therefore( whether he's able to come good on his promises or not) 'they'... fell like somebody.

They trust.. and like.. that feeling.


In reality.. the republicans simply failed to connect.. and perhaps the party intentions were simply not unappealing, or trust worthy.

Man for the top job

Do you know where your arse is..

It helps.
You see, knowing where your arse is can help prevent you from asking silly questions and expecting a serious answer.
Questions like... " I'm meant to be somewhere, but I don't know where it is, as I don't have the address..do you know where it is?"
Errr.. what's the name of place?
"I don't know!"...

Hugs

I've been a little weary lately.

My friend would say it has something to do with my planetary activity.
Maybe she's right.
Maybe not.
It's possible that I'm just a little 'run down'.. definitely tired. There are days when you simply feel like a hug. I wondered if a person could actually die from a lack of hugs. That thought led me to search out why (at least some of us) have days like that.. perhaps things aren't going too well, or as planned, or hoped, you feel blue and the best thing you can think of is a hug. Well...it turns out ( as you may already know) hugging increases the levels of oxytocin in the body, and is really effective at reducing high blood pressure and possibly preventing heart disease.Hugs can also reduce (apparently) some of the early symptoms of Alzheimer’s, reduce stress.. and believe it or not fear. Women in particular seem more prone to hugging as a way of expressing warmth, affection , understanding, empathy, gratitude, forgiveness and caring, and the irony is,.. the very thing that may be perceived as a little soft or weak (by some men anyway.. and maybe even a few hardcore girlies) is actually natures way of taking care of us.

Which is why it feels so natural.

I also read somewhere that...

"everyone needs at least four hugs a day for healthy survival, eight hugs a day for emotional strength, and 12 hugs a day to really grow and be empowered"... cool huh. The proviso was however... that 'they also need to be open and sincere'... so no cheating.. as it wont work.

It made me also wonder why the things that come natural to humans can often be the things we suppress.
We strive to relieve our blue moods by using all kinds of complex things.. when in truth, all it sometimes takes is a hug..and there's nothing wrong in saying it.

3 day weekend?

How great would a 3 day weekend be?.
Why don't we have one?
A 3 day weekend would enable working people to get their shopping done, house work done, leaving a day for their well being, and good old rest.

When we think about well being and having a nice work life balance.. it seems to make sense to me that the better we feel as people.. the more productive we would be in all areas of our life.

I think Boris should push for a 3 day weekend.. or we should :)

I'm a dreamer....

Illusions

Yesterday I dreamt of New York. I was on the subway. I don't remember much else at the moment, other than being in a hotel suite also.

I'm not planning to go to New York in the near future but who knows.

Anyway...I wanted to talk about the many sides of us.
In a way integrity of self vs dishonesty of self.
What sometimes happens in life is that we separate various parts of ourselves and present them as whole to various people(depending on which of our sides that person finds appealing) .. then oddly blame them for failing to see the real 'us'.

That game, is a game we really play with ourselves.. yet when we think we win.. in reality we lose... becoming more and more fragmented from ourselves in the illusion we create.. and present as reality.

That illusion is what some will call the ego.. others.. the lower self. Of its self it can serve a purpose, can be relatively amusing,even harmless, can be a source of development.. in fact it is .. but perhaps it's best not left in the driving seat.
Left in the driving seat it wreaks havoc..

This is one of the reasons I like the title of Joe's song all that I am..

Never to late?

There's an old saying that its never too late
Is that true?
In some instances perhaps it can be too late.
We are given opportunities in life that we ask for, what we do with them is entirely up to us.

It is possible to receive these opportunities yet arrogance, laziness, apathy, or the untamed ego, can see those opportunities fade before our very eyes. Reason being perhaps, is because the pure energy and focus that we used to receive them initially, becomes dulled or tainted.. resulting in our inability to see them as opportunities or blessings.. so away they go.
Maybe self doubt sets in.. cementing the feeling that it was luck, and therefore wasn't meant for us at all.. that we were neither ready or deserving.

When we realize the truth it may be too late. Yet we can turn it around by simply reconnecting with that pure source (that open honesty with self) that made it possible in the first place. That takes humility, understanding, and acceptance that we were the cause of the outcome.
It is possible that (in some cases) in order to gain, we have to lose. It enables us to recognise it. But again.. once that lesson is learned it need not be repeated.
However... what we perceive as a loss, may not be a loss at all.. but simply freedom.
Freedom to be can be a scary prospect for those among us who don’t know who , or what we are supposed to be.. finding and uncomfortable comfort in being told.
Relying on that old adage its never too late can be a risky business.
it's is the bedfellow of procrastination and a possible precursor for taking things for granted

Heatwave..Sunday Slow Jam..

I've been enjoying some old footage this weekend. We've moved away somewhat from bands that play and sing.. when it comes to soul/ RnB anyway. Quite miss it actually...bands practising their craft broke as you like .. in some back room, basement, or studio room.
Apparently the lead singer Johnnie Wilder Jr died in his sleep in 2006.. don’t know why.
He sang like an angel that’s for sure
Luther Vandross sang an amazing version of this song however.. this one has that little something extra special.

Barry White.. yes maybe a little early in the evening but... sweet

I read .. I think it's called love unlimited, and just held a greater fondness for Barry White after that. (must revisit that book time permitting)
I knew more of his music than his life..very interesting life story.. special voice.
His voice, is my accompaniment to 'empire' at the moment.. shortly to be joined by some foodage.. and irish creme da la..
Enjoy

"..he kept dreamin - ooh that someday he'd be a star...".. Gladys Knight

I wonder..who has a favourite Gladys Knight & the Pips track?.. here's mine..
How great are those pips.. can you imagine having them with you all day..doing little dances behind your back..cheering you up.. getting lunch.... "err, Dawna.. who are the guys in the blue suit??.. oh.. there just my pips"...cool.
I can barely remember a step class routine.. let alone do that and sing



here's a clearer sound version with lyrics thrown in.. gotta love it



.. and this is my other..



On the bond theme.. this was a great theme song by Gladys