IT professional — privacy, data protection, performance. I like tinkering with legacy systems. Call me when you bought that bigger server like they told you, but it didn't solve your problem.

Mediator — civil, commercial, IT. Harder than it looks, but also satisfying. Call me when your clients start e-mailing you in all-caps, with pictures of their overflowing swear jars.

Law & IT — technical counsel, expert witness. I write reports you can use in court. I also write reports the court can use against you. Frustratingly impartial in either case. Your lawyers call me when your office gets raided by police.

I'm too honest to be one of the lizard people secretly controlling world government. Cross my heart.