Clinton 1040

Now that the President is talking of people not being taxed enough, something from the ear of Clinton.  This cartoon is from 1992 and can be found 'Best Editorial Cartoons of the Year: 1993 Edition' on page 55.

Seems still relevant.  Democrats want all the money.  Greedy buggers aren't they?

Obama's New Job

Wonder how long this ad will remain up? Luckily no chicken sandwich was harmed in the filming of this ad starring an Obama double.

To further prove how Obama's 'smart' diplomacy has worked here is some news from Beijing, Peoples Republic of China. There is now open Obama's Fried Chicken in that country's capital. With a grinning President Obama dressed as a skinny Col. Sanders. Naturally the likes of Al Sharpton are offended by this. This is yet another example of reality being far stranger than any humorous fiction.

Got T-Shirts?

Just a few of the products that can be found on Cafe Press about our President. Order yours before they are sold out or DHS declares Cafe Press a terror site. /sarc?

No Click For Me Armenia

In these times of Japan being wracked by another earthquake, President Obama threatening to put the military on partial pay, many children have been murdered in Brazil, Hamas attacking a school bus in Israel, and Wachovia acting as a conduit for Mexican drug dealers; I had to find something to lighten the mood. So cue the camera and cut to the southern border of Russia and the countries of Georgia and Armenia.

The entire country of Armenia was abruptly thrust back to pre-Internet days on March 28th. For five hours, there was no Internet service for the whole country. Who knows how many games of World of Warcraft or Final Fantasy were impacted. Five hours is forever in Farmville on Facebook, a virtual Dust Bowl could have swept in. Though I bet many expressions of 'pwnd' and 'wtf' were queued up on many servers, along with emails for male enhancement and deposed officials from Nigeria seeking to hide fortunes.

So what caused this digital Dark Age to happen? One of man's earliest tools was the culprit - a spade. Was this a malicious attack? Nope. One elderly woman looking for scrap copper severed the one fibre-optic line that provides Armenia with Internet access. The woman may get three years in jail because of this. And she has a handle now - The Spade Hacker, though I doubt she will be surfing the Internet to Google that.

People worry about EMP knocking out the information infrastructure. Or Net Neutrality. I think their fears might be a tad misplaced. Fear the old ladies armed with shovels. Ban the shovel! Save the Internet!

Google Is Strange

One of the above images does not really belong when the search term is Gulf of Sidra. Can you spot the one that isn't like the others? Strange, very strange.

Operation Odyssey Dawn

Where to begin? Right humor. On top of French warplanes shooting down tanks in Libya.

HAL 9000, "Barry I have the utmost confidence in this mission."
HAL, "Want to play Global Thermonuclear War Barry?"
HAL, "Look Barry, I can see you are really stressed at how the polls are going. Go take a smoke and work on your brackets."
HAL, "I'm sorry Barry, I can't allow you to interfere with the mission. And take Biden with you to the airlock."

Humour

Question: When James Bond gives you flowers, what do you do?

Answer: Check the plant for bugs.

For Something Almost Completely Different

Geek Humour?

Amusing[?] error message I got trying to fix my network this morning. Reboot nor resets fixed things. Even turning off the DSL modem failed to fix it. What finally fixed it? Well turned off the DSL modem and unplugged its power, waited a minute, plugged power in, and turned modem back on. Wow. As for www.microsoft.com being well known, well... lol

Ode to the Black Friday Warrior

Oh she revels in all the anticipation. She has been in her spot since last Thursday. There behind her in the shrubs the store pays landscapers to weed, water, and trim is her pup tent; the grass is now looking decidedly brown. What is a cold snap to her that caused her less prepared competitors to be hauled off for frost-bite or malnutrition? Nothing at all, she is giddy when each is carted off because that is one less person after her precious quest. For she is at her Mecca, her Valentino lover beckons as she stands at her temple’s doorway in exultation. Clutched in her warm mitten clad hands are her offerings to the mercantile deities, her credit cards that are lovingly arranged in alphabetical order in the faux calf-skin organizer she had to fight off three other women to acquire a previous year. She will not be denied her chance at sales glory even as her husband works two jobs and her children have learned once again that Mommy is a bit special this time of year. So what if her dear husband and kids spent Thanksgiving at McDonalds and brought her a Happy Meal, she has a higher calling. At precisely one minute after midnight all will be revealed to this devoted disciple to wanton consumerism.

Then the Red Sea is parted as the doors are unlocked and the workers run for cover behind the sandbag barricade. Department workers stand ready while wearing catcher gear, wondering if it will be Bobby in Toys or Sue in Electronics that will be hauled off to a hospital. They all kiss their employee badges as a sign of fervent prayer that it will not be them this year buried as they hear the thundering roar of so many feet in heels clatter their way. And then workers are face to face with that which fills them with such dread even, the untamed and wild female bargain shopper herd that the store’s own advertisements have lured to this commercial watering hole. Like the scent of fresh water entices animals to abandon all caution in the Sahara they come. The workers tremble in fear.

And the next second it has happened. Our happy warrior of conspicuous consumption has found her watering hole. She elbows and gouges other women as they all stampede over the poor workers to reach their individual holy grails that are held within. Her Timmy will not be denied that Zurg blaster from Toy Story 3, oh no! After a vicious battle that leaves two women bleeding on the floor with torn jackets, she is off to her next quest. She has to secure Sally a Tinker Bell doll. This results in an unfortunate worker being body-slammed into the Elmo display, but victory again is the result. She does a happy dance on the body of another shopper who lost in the struggle and has to settle for a Tinker Bell without wings. Ah the sweet ambrosia of victory our shopper exults.

Let us end this happy story here. Fade to black as she relives her track&field days by jumping human hurdles to make it over to Electronics and Starcraft 2 for her dear husband. Oh what a loving wife our heroine is.

Five Things

• Neither the Cowboys nor the Saints are running the State Department.
• The First Lady lacks any Constitutional powers.
• Al Franken is no longer on SNL.
• Harry Reid is still in charge in the Senate.
• Defending Obama's sealed records has been a $2million shovel ready project.

Of these and many other things, I am grateful to be an American.

Tribute to Mel Brooks

I laughed, I cried, and I smiled during this. Mel Brooks is just awesome. Glad I stumbled across this. This is from the Kennedy Center. Enjoy.

Pelosi set to Poetry

I promise this is not Vogon peotry. Though Nancy and her gavel could be Vogon.

Nancy Pelosi,
Plastic palomino fame,
Now without shame.

See that wasn't so bad was it?

Liberal Democrats 2010

Original version, circa era of Reagan by Benson.
The 2010 Updated version, with apologies to Benson.
Cartoon works very nicely.

Political Cartoons 1995 Pt 2

What Republicans face if they gain control of Congress.

No Big Bird to save NPR from Schiller's firing of Juan Williams.

Sound familiar?

Oh the cruelty /sarc

All praise the holy taxes.

Humour, Political

Some are probably going, "If only." Clearing out some drive space caused this.

About That New Dem Logo

This is a quick and dirty response to the new Democrat Party logo that seems to invoke images of flushing toilets instead of name brand recognition.

SkyNet Awaits

or maybe Colossus or MME. Take your pick before you have no mouth and must scream.

The US Navy recently lost control of one of their MQ-8B Fire Scout drone helicopters. Fail-safes were supposed to kick in and land it if contact was lost. As I said, supposed to. In fact the drone kept flying for 23 miles and even invaded restricted air space around Washington D.C. I think its back to the old electronic brain for these nautical boffins.

If we are lucky we will get Dr. Falken's computer at NORAD wanting to play a game at this rate. If not, do you know where the fall0out shelter is and how much food&water is stored there? You may want to get acquainted quick.

Trilogy of Terror Opera

And Gilad Shalit is still a victim of Hamas in Gaza. Four years a prisoner and his fate is unknown. Is he alive or dead, no one knows. And Hamas won't let anyone visit him. It seems the world has forgotten him while proclaiming how Hamas is a victim of Israel.

News from Great Mitten

Just to be a change of pace, lets gaze across the Atlantic Ocean to find out what is happening in that other country that speaks English: the island nation of Great Mitten. Surely the country that has given the world the great jug-eared prince has something going on.

Once again they lead the Colonies in their tender care for the elderly. Under a new plan proposed by their Health Secretary, all the special needs of elderly patients living in assisted living homes would be covered. Except for the needs of a physical abode, electricity, and food; the patient has to provide those. Devil is in the details eh wot? Then there is the sticky mess called a death tax, just when you are quietly burying Uncle Robert here comes Revenue to cart off 10% of his estate. Very awkward that.

The Home Office has become a shining example of how to humanely treat immigrant criminals. Yes they understand it was terribly wrong to rape and dump a woman on the rubbish pile. But every person deserves a chance at happiness, so the Home Office offered to let this chap from the Congo stay in the Great Mitten to get married to a naturalized German. But then they decided to rescind the deal, well the hard hearted section of the Home Office which frowns terribly on such things as rape and immigrants tried. But luckily a judge has stepped in and said the original Home Office offer has to stand. How terribly compassionate the Mittenish legal system is towards the poor criminals, bravo.

Meanwhile other immigrants have ingeniously solved the tight housing market in Great Mitten. Though I would advise you to call home before you return unexpectedly or you might find some wandering immigrants living in your house. Or better yet, they leave the house to you and move into your nicely built shed. The nice ones will even put their refuse in the proper recycle bins and when you do find him in the tool shed, he will give you two thumbs up. Though once you do discover them, you will not sleep well in your house again.

And now for something completely different - Monty Python and the Hungarian phrase book.