Four Confessions

I'm happy to be linking up again with Jess from The Newly! Here we goooooo.....

1 // Gestational diabetes. It's going well. But I do have a confession. Sometimes I eat more sweets than I know I should. Nighttime is a prime example. I'll eat dinner, wait an hour, and then test my blood sugar. My next time to test is not until the next morning. But sometimes if my last reading was totally normal, I will eat something really sugary after testing -- like a bowl of ice cream. I hate not following the meal plan to a tee, but it's also been really difficult to not give in to my pregnancy cravings. SEE ALSO: EASTER JELLYBEANS

2 // I absolutely detest getting medical bills in the mail. Of course it's painful to pay them, but so many times they are just plain wrong. Yesterday I spent two hours on the phone back and forth between the medical provider and last year's insurance carrier trying to get some outstanding bills clarified. When I see bills come in the mail, I just want to curl up in a ball. (For example, I'm currently being billed $217 by one doctor's office for a preventive check-up for Camille. My insurance company verified today that I should be billed $0 for that visit. Huge discrepancy. What is happening, people?!)

3 // I'm the queen of starting projects and then ditching them if something gets hard. The bow holder I blogged about Monday is currently in that state. I can't get the vinyl monogram to stick on my painted canvas. And I'm just feeling so over it.

4 // Last one and a biggie. Well, to me at least. I found out last week that the baby is currently breech (head up, bottom down). I've been pretty sad about that because I am a type-A planner and that's just not the way I wanted it to go. There is still time for the baby to turn, and I'm doing everything that I can to help that -- exercises, inversions, chiropractor visits. But it weighs heavily on my mind the majority of the day and I won't find out until next Wednesday if anything has changed. If not, then I may need to go to the hospital to have the midwives try to turn the baby, and that carries its own risks... including an emergency c-section right then and there. That really concerns me, and I'm scared.

Okay, these are sort of wahhhhh-wahhhhhhh Debbie Downer -- but they're my confessions of what's going on right now! Hit me up with your confessions or at least some encouragement that I'm not alone in mine. :)

My Thursday Confessions

I was so happy to see that my sweet blog friend Jess from The Newly started this new link-up for Thursdays! I always love reading confessions (the really good, honest ones) so here's what I'm 'fessing up to today.

// 1 // I am irresponsible when it comes to gassing up my car. Driving around uber-pregnant with a toddler, in the WINTER, this is a bad life decision. If it's cold or rainy outside, I will skip fueling up and let it get down to 0 miles left. I then reset the trip odometer so I know how many miles I've gone past 0 to try to ensure I don't run out of gas. Yesterday I was almost to 20 miles past that point when I filled the tank. For those of you who never let your car get down to this 0 miles left mark, and for my mom, I know you are horrified right now. And I should be, too!

// 2 // On October 1 last year, I posted about starting to read The Book Thief (here). I started it mid-October. I am, embarrassingly, still reading it four months later, and less than midway through. I used to be a really fast reader and would totally lose myself in books. I miss those days, I miss that free time. 

// 3 // Now that Camille isn't taking a morning nap any more, about once a week I legitimately can't find or make the time to take a shower. I use dry shampoo and put on lots of eye makeup so my husband won't know that I didn't shower, for fear that he'll think I'm gross. 

// 4 // Turning the former office/guest room into the new baby's nursery (and therefore, having to empty that closet) has made me realize that I keep way too many insignificant things. They are just THINGS. But I have a hard time throwing something away that is not broken or 100% useless. I have also heard people featured on Hoarders express the same sentiment. Anyone have a spare copy of this organizational book you want to loan me? I'll read it and return it to you ... by November or so.

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Alright, I'm going to stop at four confessions. Please don't think I'm a loony, irresponsible, unclean person. Or maybe you do, but that might make you relate to me a smidge more (wink) :)

Hit me up with your confessions in the comments! I love hearing your secrets!

Thoughts + Confessions On Thursday

WHAT.
A.
WEEK.

 A long, crazy, busy week.

Do you ever just feel like waving that little white flag? 

I'm so there.
What is keeping me sane is that I get to see girlfriends this weekend for some much-needed R+R. And not a moment too soon.

And if you don't mind a little venting, then here we go...

+ As a working mother, it has been difficult for me to feel like I'm giving 100% to anything. Husband, child, work, girlfriends, hobbies. This is my #1 struggle right now.

+ My #2 struggle is with our home. I am perfectly content living in a smaller home close to all the action of Charlotte. But it scares me that at some point we will run out of space, and it is wayyy expensive to buy a larger home in our neighborhood. I'm nervous about moving away from the area I love, moving away from friends, affording what will inevitably be a higher mortgage, and possibly losing the charm of an older home.

+ We went to look at a house for the second time this week and I was just SURE that we would be putting an offer on it. Sadly, I think we have too many "cons" that outweigh the "pros" and it just doesn't make sense to jump into it right now. Hard to go back to square one.

+ Camille had pink eye this week, so there's that.

+ I constantly struggle with procrastination. I will pat myself on the back for ordering a Fathers Day gift today ... I pleasantly surprised myself by taking care of that task in advance.

+ It's not even summer yet, and I feel like 90% of our summer weekends are spoken for. A good problem to have, I guess, but I honestly love lazy weekends just laying on the couch with my family. Or even by myself. :)

To end on a happy note:
One more thing I'm proud of is that I finally created an account with Mint so I can track our monthly spending and do a better job of budgeting for our family. We are not big spenders for the most part, but we also don't adhere to any sort of formal budget plan. And I'd like to change that, or at least stick to a budget for certain categories, like groceries. We were spending too much at the store, and by meal-planning and visiting the grocery store less, I truly feel like we can cut our monthly spending drastically.

Thank you for letting me vent a little bit today. Whooooo-SAH.

Thursday Confessions

I've been up since 5:45 this morning, but I'm well caffeinated and ready to tackle this day and share some Thursday confessions.

It took a few months for me to realize the importance of April + Ian time. I got so wrapped up in just being a mom, keeping this little baby alive, and I also think there's sort of the fear of judgement if you leave your child "too early" for a little escape. That has been a struggle for me and I probably pay it too much attention than I should. Last night, since my mom was in town, Ian and I snuck away for a quick post-work drink at Selwyn Pub. And later, after the baby went to bed, we went to go see Gone Girl, We didn't get home until 9:45 and didn't turn out the lights until 11:00, but it was so nice to have that time together. And of course we have full confidence in Camille's safety and wellbeing when she is with my mom. As an aside ... great movie.

Keys ... found 'em. They were in Ian's car console. After he spotted them, we both clearly remembered putting them there right before our hike Saturday morning. But we both completely forgot that we even did that! So scatterbrained.

I am a piler. And it drives my husband crazy. I am clean but I have far too many piles of things right now around the house. A pile of clothes to either sell or donate. A pile of mail to go through. And (ashamed to say so) some medical bills from Camille's birth that I still need to pay. I need to tackle those, it is just confusing because they send so many duplicate bills and I don't want to overpay the hospital (thinking a refund wouldn't likely happen). I need to sort them all out by visit date. I'm vowing to get that done by the end of this week. Period.

Workouts, they aren't happening. I am not waking up early, I am not going during my lunchbreak. And I just refuse to do any during the week after work while Camille is awake and could be hanging out with me. It's dark so early now so we can't even go on post-work walks. The weekends are about the only times I get walks in, but no strength training, no real cardio.

I'm in denial that Camille will turn six months old tomorrow. How in the world have we had this baby for half of a year? Saturday we will start solids and I'm really looking forward to that. But selfishly I'm nervous about having another daily "task" that will take away from our play time. 

So there are my confessions. Can you relate?