Editing Your Own Writing

Introduction
Legal writing should be clear and

precise. To achieve these goals you must rewrite and edit. You need to become your own best editor.

Cut Extra Words

Every sentence contains

two types of words: working words and glue words. Working words carry the meaning of the sentence. Glue words hold the working words together.

Cut Extra Words

If the proportion of glue

words to working words is high, the sentence probably contains too many words. When you find too many glue words, take the sentence apart and put it together another way.

Example
Underline the working

words:
A trial by jury was A trial by jury was

requested by the defendant.

requested by the defendant.

Rewrite the Sentence

A trial by jury was requested by the defendant.

The defendant requested a jury trial.

**One-third shorter.
-Four working words. -Glue words cut from five to two.

**Active instead of passive.

Another Example
The testimony that was given by

Reeves went to the heart of the defense that he asserted, which was his lack of specific intent to escape.

Rewritten
The testimony that Reevess testimony

was given by Reeves went to the heart of the defense that he asserted, which was his lack of specific intent to escape.

went to the heart of his defense that he had no specific intent to escape.

Avoid Compound Constructions

Compound constructions use three or four

words to do the work of one. Example:

For the reason that . . . instead of Because . . .

Examples
by means of
in order to prior to

by
to before

subsequent to
with a view to with reference to

after
to about, concerning

in the event that

if

Cut Compound Constructions

The parties were in The parties were in

complete agreement with respect to the amount of rent due and also as regards the due date.

complete agreement about the amount of rent and the due date.

Use Base Verbs, Not Nominalizations

Base verbs are words that

act (decide, complain, pay). A base verb that has been turned into a noun is a nominalization (decision, complaint, payment). Nominalizations tend to add words to sentences.

Spotting Nominalizations
You can spot nominalizations by their

endings: -al -ment -ant -ence -ion -ent -ancy -ency -ity When you find a nominalization in your sentence, try to rewrite it with a base verb instead.

Eliminating Nominalizations
Section 1038 has

pertinence to any contract that makes provision for attorney fees. Section 1038 has pertinence to any contract that makes provision for attorney fees.

Section 1038 pertains

to any contract that provides for attorney fees.

Another Exercise . . .
We are in agreement We agree with your

with your position, but if it is your intention to cause delay, we will stand in opposition to you.

position, but if you intend to cause delay, we will oppose you.

Prefer the Active Voice

When you use a verb in the active

voice, the subject does the acting:

John kicked the ball.

When you use a verb in the passive

voice, the subject is acted upon:

The ball was kicked by John.

Active voice is more direct and uses

fewer words.

Passive Voice
To change passive to active, ask, Who is

doing the action?

Thats the subject. Put the subject before the verb. Also: Make sure you have an express subject.

By is a red flag for passive voice.

Change Passive to Active

A complaint was filed The union filed a

by the union. Your motion will be denied by the judge. Our conclusion is supported by the legislative history. This approach was rejected by the Eleventh Circuit.

complaint. The judge will deny your motion. The legislative history supports our conclusion. The Eleventh Circuit rejected this approach.

Put Modifying Words Close to What They Modify

Otherwise, you may say something other

than what you mean, or you may cause confusion. Example:

A trustee who steals dividends often cannot be punished. What does often modify?

Only
People frequently misplace the modifier

only. Put it next to what it modifies.

Examples - Modifiers
Shares are sold to the Only the parent

public only by the parent corporation. Being ignorant of the law, the attorney argued his client should receive a lighter sentence.

corporation sells shares to the public. The attorney argued that his client, who was ignorant of the law, should receive a lighter sentence.

Avoid Nested Modifiers

Nested modifiers are sets of modifiers

placed within each other. They make sentences long and confusing.

Example
Defendant, who was driving a flatbed truck

that was laden with a tangle of old furniture some of which was not tied down securely, stopped without warning. Defendant, {who was driving a flatbed truck [that was laden with a tangle of old furniture (some of which was not tied down securely)]}, stopped without warning.

Solution?
Take apart the nest of modifiers and put

some of the information in a separate sentence.

Example Revisited
Defendant, who was driving a flatbed truck

that was laden with a tangle of old furniture some of which was not tied down securely, stopped without warning. The defendant, who was driving a flatbed truck, stopped without warning. The truck was laden with a tangle of old furniture, some of which was not tied down securely.

Avoid Legalese
Examples: Hereinafter Whereas Aforementioned Theretofore In order to Said (archaic sense)
They add no substance and can be

confusing.

Ambiguous Pronouns
A plaintiff must bring their claim within

three years. They stated that she was the model of diligence. This means that Mr. Vega was not very diligent.

Punctuate Carefully
Readers use punctuation as a guide to

meaning. If you punctuate carefully, and use rules of ordinary English, your writing will be clearer.

Commas
Use a comma after At the time of the

introductory elements.

accident, the defendant was intoxicated.

The car, which was

Use commas to set off

nonrestrictive elements.

blue, ran the red light.

Commas
Use commas to set off Freedom of speech is,

parenthetical elements.

after all, one of our most cherished rights.

When he entered the

Use commas to

separate items in a series.

bank, the defendant was armed with a gun, a hunting knife, and a stick of dynamite.

Commas
Use commas to It was a dark, cold

separate coordinate adjectives.

Use commas to set off

night.

The conclusion,

transitional or interrupting words or phrases.

therefore, is that attorney advertising deserves only limited protection under the First Amendment.

Apostrophes
Use apostrophes to form contractions.
Use apostrophes to form possessives. Do not confuse plurals with possessives.

Examples
its
its Jacksons

it is (contraction)
possessive plural

Jacksons
Jacksons

singular possessive
plural possessive

Semi-Colons
Which is correct: The plaintiff argued that she had relied on her doctor; the court disagreed. The plaintiff had been to see a lawyer; showing that she no longer trusted the doctor.

That v. Which
A restrictive clause restricts the meaning of

the word it modifies and is thus essential to the meaning of the sentence.
It is not set off with commas. Use that instead of which.

Example: A corporation that has

government contracts must maintain careful personnel records.

That v. Which
A nonrestrictive clause describes a word

whose meaning is already clear. It is not essential to the meaning of the sentence.
It is set off with commas. Use which.

Example: The United States Coast Survey,

which was established in 1807, was the first scientific agency in this country.

Exercises
The fact that swayed Judge Jones was the

defendants destruction of evidence. The Supreme Court , which is the forum of last resort in the federal system, hears about one hundred cases each year. For camp, the children needed clothes that were washable. For camp, the children needed sturdy shoes , which were expensive.

Parallelism
If two or more ideas are parallel, they

should be expressed in parallel grammatical form.

Parallelism
Balance all items in a series by presenting them

in parallel grammatical form: Example: The system has capabilities such as communicating with other computers, processing records, and mathematical functions. Corrected: The system has capabilities such as communicating with other computers, processing records, and performing mathematical functions.

Parallelism
When pairing ideas, underscore their

connection by expressing them in similar grammatical form. Example: Many states are reducing property taxes for homeowners and extend financial aid in the form of tax credits. Corrected: Many states are reducing property taxes for homeowners and extending financial aid in the form of tax credits.

Collective Nouns
Collective nouns, such as jury, committee,

club, crowd and company, name a class or group. In American English, collective nouns are treated as singular, because they emphasize the group as a unit. Therefore, a collective noun takes a singular verb and a singular pronoun.

Exercises
The court reached its or their decision.
The grand jury meets or meet at 8:00 a.m. The crowd is or are rowdy. The company announced its or their annual

earnings.

Other Writing Tips

Run Spell check.
Get and read a good grammar or usage

book. Proofread carefully -- try reading out loud (slowly).

Questions??
The End.