English Language Question 3 Lesson 2

C/W 4/3/21
Directed Writing
Reading Top Band:
 Excellent understanding of LO: To understand the skills needed to
the passage complete the response to writing (Question
 A wide range of relevant 3) successfully.
ideas
 Ideas are developed and Writing Top Band:
sustained  Excellent sense of purpose
 Supporting details is and audience
continuous and integrated  Effective and interesting
 All three bullets are fully expression
covered  Secure structure and
 Voice is consistent and sequence
convincing  Accurate spelling, grammar
and punctuation
Re-read Text C2, The Journey, and then
read the Response to Reading question.
10 minutes
You are a girl who has been sent to collect a parcel. When
you return, write a journal entry which includes your
thoughts and feelings about the following:
 the bus and its passengers

 the district you arrived in and the house you visited End
 the experience of the journey and your return home
Now she sat in the half-empty bus. It jolted to a halt at every stop, but no
one got in, nor did anyone get off. She was caught up in its reckless rush as it
butted stubbornly against the road curb, swung around corners with a
wounded shriek, shaking its whole frame in a frenzy of movement,
unthinking, self-absorbed, down the straight roads past the housing estates.
On either side, the rows of houses started up, then fell back, enshrouded
in the greying evening. Now they put on their lights, dusky yellow, blue and
dim, smoky red, futile stabs in the twilight which invaded the interior of the
bus with a deeper gloom.
The passengers were as dull as the sky. Each sat shut in by whatever
thoughts bred in his mind with the coming night, eyes marshalled inwards,
only flickering to the doorway in anticipation at every violent thrust of the
brakes.
The Journey
One woman appeared as well-worn as her samfoo, exhausted and faded by
having had too many children, too much labour done, too many years lived.
The collars of the men decapitated their heads from their shirts, so that they
hung in the dusk, with cropped hair, thickened ears, dancing at every shudder
of the engine. Only she defied the drab company in her bright uniform,
fidgeting with her bag, gnawing her underlip, constantly peering out of the
dusty window into the dustier evening to watch the roads whizz under.
She was glad to climb down from the bus, yet there was a curious uncertainty
as to where she was to go, a strong reluctance to move away from the stand.
She thought if she stood there long enough, the bus would surely return on
its journey back and bring her home. Or she could take a walk, pretending she
was going home to her family. There were numerous lanes branching off the
little junction, numerous houses sitting under fat protective trees, hiding
behind fences and shut gates.
The Journey
Still, she could not imagine herself belonging to any of these houses.
Windows framed squares of light, curtains drawn to keep them in. Voices
called out in a murmur of music. Sharp chinks of spoon against plate
reminded her she had not eaten. It was not the same air she breathed in
here, heavy with green smells of unknown shrubbery, delicate, sweet in
her nostrils, fragrance of unseen flowers weighing their stems down and
entwining their heads together in the night. The unfamiliar air as much as
the disguising night made her, though she was uncertain whether it was
so, or exactly why, frightened.
Her mother’s instructions were clear enough, and from being so often
repeated, familiar: Walk down the path to your right. Houses on either
side touched up the dark with light and hummed with sound. Seventh
house to the left. It was one with the others around it. The gate opened
unhesitatingly at her push; the garden was trim with bougainvillea and
smelt of leaves. Now she was here; it seemed she had always known it
would look like this.
The Journey
An altar faced the open door, unlighted candles placed before the
household god, an inscrutable figure who sat and watched the domestic
goings-on, always to be placated, never to be pleased, awful Lord of
destiny of furniture, food and family.
When a man emerged out of a darkened interior room, she was

embarrassed. There was the suggestion she had not been unexpected,
yet he appeared ordinary, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand,
the way her father did after a meal. She told him what it was she had
come for.
From ‘Journey’ by Shirley Geok Lin Lim
The Journey
Success Criteria: Journal Writing
PURPOSE: Informative
STRUCTURE: Chronological, describing the event as it unfolds, but
including thoughts and feelings about what is happening
STYLE: In full sentences and paragraphed, without subheadings
The language should be precise in order to faithfully capture the events
It is not the same as a diary entry, which is often written in note form or
colloquial language and contains trivial observations, often unrelated,
which are of purely personal interest and from a subjective viewpoint.
VOICE: As an objective witness but mixed with personal response.
Write a plan for each of the three bullet points.
The bus and its passengers
The district you arrived in and the house you visited
The experience of the journey and your return home

The bus and its passengers

The experience of the journey and your return home
Exemplar Response`

English Language Question 3 Lesson 2

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C/W 4/3/21

 the bus and its passengers

When a man emerged out of a darkened interior room, she was

From ‘Journey’ by Shirley Geok Lin Lim

The bus and its passengers

The district you arrived in and the house you visited

The experience of the journey and your return home

The bus and its passengers

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