35.-GRIHASTHA-ASHRAMA-AND-THE-KAMASUTRA (1)

Shodh Sari-An International Multidisciplinary Journal
@2023 International Council for Education Research and Training 2023, Vol. 02, Issue 04, 425-436
ISSN: 2959-1376 DOI: https://doi.org/10.59231/SARI7649
GRIHASTHA ASHRAMA AND THE KAMASUTRA
Bawa, Simmin
Assistant Professor, Department of Philosophy, Jai Hind College (Autonomous), Mumbai
ABSTRACT
The Kamasutra is an ancient text guiding the sensual and sexual life of men and women in
society. The text authored by Mallinga Vatsyayana is a work of art describing the variety of
human sexual conduct and its pursuit from the time the person is in the Grihastha ashrama or the
householder’s stage of existence. This included men, women and the third gender. The Grihastha
stage begins from the time studentship stage of Brahmacharya Ashrama ends and the person
enters the stage of a householder where the person begins a professional career, acquires sources
of income, gets married and begets children. The main protagonist of the Kamasutra, the
“nagaraka” after acquiring education, sets up a lifestyle for himself, follows duties, participates
in festivities, attends social gatherings, etc. The nagaraka also has a set of social skills and
etiquettes to follow; maintain a wardrobe full of various attires for each function and makes
efforts to maintain personal grooming; hosting and entertaining family, friends, lovers,
courtesans and acquaintances, conduct business trade and maintain networking in social circles
as well as indulge in cultural pursuits. Women had to focus on grooming, acquiring skills,
maintaining the household and balancing between various relationships. But nowhere has
Vatsyayana focused on mentioning stages of life where one procreates or prepares for
Vanaprastha Ashrama or Sanyasa Ashrama or pursuit of Moksha or liberation. These aspects of
the life of a commoner need to be explored at greater lengths in the academic arena for a holistic
study on the great monumental work of Vatsyayana as Kamasutra is only seen as a work on
sexual positions and portrayals. The current study proposes to explore various facets of the
Grihastha life spelled out explicitly and implicitly by the author and aspects missed or avoided
by him in the greater good of life. As we spend a large part of our life as householders, the views
expressed by Vatsyayana hold good and true in these contemporary times as well which needs to
be investigated exhaustively.
Bawa, S. 425
Keywords: Grihastha Ashrama, Householder, Kamasutra, Vatsyayana, Men, Women,

Nagaraka, Brahmacharya, Vanaprastha, Sanyasa
INTRODUCTION stages were primarily followed by

The Grihastha or the householder concept individuals in the Hindu tradition and played
from classical Vedic Indian philosophy a significant role in shaping their lives. The
needs no introduction as the concept begins Ashrama system was closely associated with
from the prehistoric times identifying the the concept of Dharma, which is the moral
social needs of man and thus the desire to be and ethical duty or righteousness that one
surrounded with loved ones in the hope that must follow in life.
love, care, and support as emotional needs Following is a broad understanding of the
are satisfied. Besides this, the biological Ashrama system:
urge to satisfy carnal desires and the 1) Brahmacharya or Student Life:
gratification of paternal and maternal needs This is the first stage of life, typically during
and leaving behind progeny with genetic childhood and youth, when an individual is
imprints to take ahead in the world. expected to focus on education, learning,
Early times, the term Grahapati was used and acquiring knowledge. It is a period of
which meant the ‘house lord’ but later the celibacy and dedicated study under the
term Grihastha was used which implied guidance of a guru (teacher). The main goal
‘stay at home.’ But the proper interpretation during this stage is to develop one's intellect
would be someone who performs all and character. The study of scriptures was
religious duties while being at home instead an essential aspect of this stage.
of going forth. This term is believed to be 2) Grihastha or Householder Life:
derived from the Shramanic traditional After completing their education,
discourse. The four ashrama systems individuals enter the Grihastha Ashrama,
prevailing at that time was a traditional which is the stage of married life and
framework in ancient Indian society that household responsibilities. During this stage,
outlines the four stages or phases of life that individuals are expected to get married, raise
a person was expected to go through. These a family, pursue a career, and fulfil their
Bawa, S. 426
social and familial duties. The Grihastha (moksha) from the cycle of birth and death
stage involves the responsibilities of earning (samsara).
a livelihood and contributing to the well- While this system was influential in ancient
being of society. In this stage, the Grahastha India, it was not universally followed by all
must keep performing religious rituals and individuals. The Ashrama system mainly
be in touch with the religious principles and applied to those in the Brahmin caste, while
disciplines taught as well as pass it onto his people from other castes had variations in
children. how they approached these stages of life.
3) Vanaprastha or Forest-Dweller or Additionally, over time, the rigid adherence
Retirement Life: In this stage, typically to the Ashrama system has relaxed, and
around the age of fifty, individuals gradually modern Indian society has evolved to
start to detach themselves from material and accommodate various lifestyles and choices.
worldly pursuits. They may retire from However, the Ashrama system remains an
active family and social life and begin to important aspect of India's cultural and
withdraw to a simpler lifestyle. While not religious history.
everyone went to the forest, as the name DUTIES OF THE GRIHASTHA
suggests, it symbolizes a more During the stage of life as a Grihastha or the
contemplative and ascetic phase where householder, the individuals were expected
individuals focus on spiritual pursuits, to fulfil various duties and responsibilities
meditation, and preparing for the next stage related to family, society, and the broader
of life. community. The duties of a Grihastha
4) Sannyasa or Renunciant Life: This included:
is the final stage, marked by complete 1) Marriage and Family Life:
renunciation of worldly attachments and Grihastha’s were expected to get married
desires. Sannyasins, or monks, lead a life of and raise a family. They were responsible
austerity, wandering, and meditation. They for maintaining their household, providing
detach themselves from all material for their spouse and children, and ensuring
possessions and dedicate their lives to the well-being and education of their
spiritual pursuits and seeking liberation offspring.
Bawa, S. 427
2) Financial and Material Support: expected to adhere to their dharma by living

Grihastha’s were responsible for earning a an honest and virtuous life, upholding
livelihood and providing financial support to societal norms, and ensuring the welfare and
their family. This often involved pursuing a harmony of the family and community.
profession, trade, or agriculture to generate 7) Financial Planning and Saving:
income to meet the family's needs. Grihastha’s were encouraged to save and
3) Social and Religious Obligations: invest for the future, including their
Grihastha’s were expected to participate in children's education, their own retirement,
social and religious activities. This included and any charitable or religious contributions.
celebrating festivals, performing rituals, and 8) Balancing Material and Spiritual
contributing to the welfare of the community Life: While Grihastha’s were actively
and the less fortunate. They often played a engaged in worldly pursuits, they were also
role in organizing religious ceremonies and encouraged to engage in spiritual practices
family rituals. and maintain a connection with their inner
4) Education of Children: Grihastha’s spiritual self. This balance helped them lead
had the responsibility of educating their a holistic and fulfilling life.
children, both in secular knowledge and 9) Respect for Guests and
moral values. They were expected to instil Hospitality: Grihastha’s were expected to
ethical and cultural values in their offspring, be hospitable and show respect to guests and
often with the help of teachers or gurus. visitors. Welcoming guests and offering
5) Caring for Elders: Grihastha’s them food and shelter was considered a
were also responsible for taking care of their virtuous act.
aging parents and other elderly members of
the family. This included providing While these duties were traditionally
emotional support, financial assistance, and associated with the Grihastha stage, not
physical care when necessary. every individual or family adhered to them
6) Maintaining Dharma: Dharma, the in the same way. The practice of these duties
moral and ethical duty, played a significant could vary based on factors such as personal
role in the life of a Grihastha. They were beliefs, regional customs, and social
Bawa, S. 428
circumstances. Additionally, as society has life, romantic love, and family life.
evolved over time, the roles and However, this pursuit was expected to be
responsibilities of individuals in the within the bounds of moral and ethical
household have also evolved to reflect conduct.
changing norms and values. 2) Marital and Family Happiness:
Part of the pursuit of Kama in the Grihastha
GRIHASTHA ASHRAMA AND KAMA stage involved finding happiness and
In the context of the Ashrama system in satisfaction within the confines of one's
ancient India, the Grihastha stage of life was family. This included nurturing a loving and
closely associated with the concept of harmonious relationship with one's spouse
‘Kama.’ Kama refers to desire, pleasure, and and ensuring the well-being and happiness
sensual or emotional fulfilment. It is one of of one's children.
the four traditional goals of human life, 3) Procreation: An important aspect of
collectively known as the ‘Purusharthas.’ the Grihastha stage was procreation and the
The four Purusharthas are Dharma (duty or continuation of the family lineage. Having
righteousness), Artha (prosperity or wealth), children was seen as a natural and desirable
Kama (pleasure or desire), and Moksha expression of Kama within the context of
(liberation or spiritual enlightenment). married life.
During the Grihastha stage, individuals 4) Enjoyment of Sensual Pleasures:
were expected to pursue Kama, along with Grihastha’s were not expected to renounce
Artha and Dharma, while maintaining a all sensual pleasures. They could enjoy the
sense of balance and righteousness. Here's pleasures of food, clothing, and other
how Kama was understood in the Grihastha material comforts within moderation and
stage: without attachment.
1) Balanced Pursuit of Desires: 5) Cultural and Artistic Pursuits: The
Grihastha’s were encouraged to fulfil their pursuit of Kama also extended to cultural
desires, both sensual and emotional, in a and artistic activities, such as music, dance,
balanced and responsible manner. This poetry, and literature. Engaging in these
included enjoying the pleasures of married creative endeavours was considered a way to
Bawa, S. 429
enhance one's aesthetic and emotional

fulfilment. GRIHASTHA ASHRAMA AND
6) Respect for Sexual Ethics: While KAMASUTRA
Kama was celebrated, it was subject to The Kamasutra is an ancient Indian text
certain ethical guidelines. Adultery and attributed to the sage Vatsyayana, believed
promiscuity were discouraged, and sexual to have been written around 2nd century CE.
relations were expected to be confined to the It is a comprehensive guide that deals with
bounds of a monogamous and faithful various aspects of human relationships,
marriage. including sexuality, love, and marital life.
7) Spiritual Growth: Despite the The Kamasutra provides detailed advice on
pursuit of Kama, Grihastha’s were also the art of lovemaking, relationships between
expected to engage in spiritual practices and men and women, and the pursuit of sensual
cultivate inner growth. The pursuit of pleasure within the context of the nagaraka
pleasure and desire was not meant to or the man about town, marriage, and life of
overshadow the importance of spiritual a courtesan. The text covers a wide range of
development and adherence to Dharma. topics related to romance, relationships,
sexual techniques, and the art of seduction.
The balanced pursuit of Kama within the While the Kamasutra includes discussions
Grihastha stage was considered a legitimate on sexual desire and pleasure, it also delves
and essential aspect of human life. It was into broader aspects of human behavior,
believed that by fulfilling one's desires in a psychology, and the dynamics of love and
responsible and righteous manner, relationships. The Kamasutra is often
individuals could lead a well-rounded and considered a treatise on the art of living a
fulfilling life. However, the pursuit of Kama fulfilling life, including sexual satisfaction,
was just one of the four Purusharthas, and within the context of social and moral
individuals were also encouraged to norms. While the Kamasutra provides
progress through the other stages of life and insights into the intimate aspects of life, it
ultimately seek Moksha, or spiritual should not be seen as solely about sexual
liberation, in the later stages of their life. techniques but rather as a guide to
Bawa, S. 430
understanding the complexities of human a loving and harmonious marital

desire and relationships. It offers advice on relationship. While the Kamasutra is often
how to approach love and intimacy with associated with sexual techniques and
respect, understanding, and consideration for positions, it is important to note that it also
one's partner. The Grihastha Ashrama and discusses the emotional, psychological, and
the Kamasutra are two distinct aspects of spiritual dimensions of human relationships.
ancient Indian culture and life, but they are It emphasizes the importance of mutual
often associated with each other due to their consent, respect, and understanding between
shared focus on aspects of married life, partners, promoting the idea that sexual
sexuality, and relationships. In the context of pleasure should be a harmonious and
the Grihastha Ashrama, the Kamasutra can fulfilling aspect of married life. The
be seen as a source of knowledge and Grihastha Ashrama represents the stage of
guidance for individuals seeking to navigate married life in the Ashrama system, which
the intricacies of married life and intimate encompasses various responsibilities and the
relationships. It provides insights into the art pursuit of Kama within the context of
of maintaining a fulfilling and harmonious Dharma and ethical conduct. The
relationship with one's spouse, which was Kamasutra, on the other hand, is a
considered an important aspect of the comprehensive ancient text that provides
Grihastha stage. It is the stage of married guidance on human sexuality and
life and household responsibilities. relationships, with an emphasis on achieving
Grihastha’s were expected to fulfil various pleasure and fulfilment in a respectful and
duties related to family, society, and loving manner within a marital context. The
personal growth. This stage emphasized the Kamasutra is often associated with the
pursuit of Dharma (duty or righteousness), Grihastha Ashrama because it provides
Artha (prosperity or wealth), and Kama guidance on how couples can maintain a
(pleasure or desire) while maintaining a healthy and fulfilling sexual relationship
sense of balance and ethical conduct. While within the context of marriage. It offers a
Kama was an important aspect of Grihastha framework for understanding and enhancing
life, it was understood within the context of sexual pleasure while emphasizing mutual
Bawa, S. 431
consent, respect, and the importance of only elaborating on dharma, artha, kama
emotional and physical intimacy in married and only mentioning moksha but not
life. While the Kamasutra is famous for its elaborating on it.
explicit discussions of sexual techniques, it
also addresses broader aspects of human MAN IN THE GRIHASTHA ASHRAMA
relationships, including courtship, attraction, AND KAMASUTRA
and the role of sensuality in marital The Kamasutra, the ancient Indian text
harmony. It promotes a holistic view of attributed to the sage Vatsyayana, provides a
human desires and relationships and detailed and comprehensive guide to various
encourages individuals to cultivate love, aspects of human relationships, including
respect, and understanding within their the depiction of men and women in the
marriages. The Grihastha Ashrama and the context of love, sexuality, and relationships
Kamasutra are connected through their during the Grihastha ashrama stage of one’s
focus on the responsibilities and pleasures life. It offers insights into the roles,
associated with married life in ancient India. behaviors, and attributes of men, particularly
The Kamasutra provides detailed guidance in the context of romantic and sexual
on how to navigate the intimate aspects of a encounters. It is important to note that the
marriage while emphasizing the importance Kamasutra's approach to relationships and
of balance, consent, and emotional sexuality is rooted in a historical and
connection. cultural context, and its depictions reflect
the norms and values of that time. Following
The Kamasutra implies its affinity towards are key highlights of the same:
the Brahmanical orthodoxy by recognizing 1) Physical Descriptions: The
the validity of Varna and Ashrama systems. Kamasutra describes the physical attributes
However, Vatsyayana divides human life that were considered desirable in men during
into three phases only of balya or childhood, its time. It often emphasizes the importance
yauvana or youth and sthavira or old age of maintaining good health, personal
and he distributes these across the hygiene, and grooming. Men are encouraged
purusharthas and vidya’s or learnings but to be physically fit and to take care of their
Bawa, S. 432
bodies and to make themselves more should communicate openly about their
attractive to their partners desires and boundaries.
2) Behaviours and Manners: The text 6) Variety in Relationships: The
discusses the behaviour and manners that Kamasutra recognizes that relationships and
men should exhibit in various social and sexual encounters can take various forms
romantic situations. This includes qualities and emphasizes the importance of variety
such as politeness, respect, and courtesy and spontaneity in maintaining a healthy and
when interacting with women and others. satisfying romantic life. It encourages both
3) Sexual Techniques: The Kamasutra men and women to explore and enjoy
includes detailed discussions of sexual variety in their romantic and sexual lives.
techniques, positions, and practices. It 7) Respect for Women: While
provides guidance to men (as well as providing guidance on romantic and sexual
women) on how to enhance sexual pleasure, matters, the Kamasutra underscores the
satisfy their partners, and achieve a fulfilling importance of respecting women as
sexual relationship within the context of a individuals with their own desires, needs,
loving and consensual partnership. and autonomy. It promotes a respectful and
4) Courting and Seduction: The text consensual approach to sexual relationships
delves into the art of courtship and
seduction. It discusses the ways in which The text does not focus solely on men.
men can woo and win the affection of Instead, it offers advice to both genders on
women through romantic gestures, how to navigate the complexities of love,
conversation, and emotional connection. desire, and partnership.
5) Role of Men in Relationships: The
Kamasutra acknowledges the importance of WOMAN IN THE GRIHASTHA
mutual consent and respect in sexual ASHRAMA AND KAMASUTRA
relationships. It emphasizes that men should The Kamasutra, provides guidance and
prioritize the pleasure and satisfaction of insights into various aspects of love,
their female partners and that both partners sexuality, and relationships, including the
depiction of women in the context of
Bawa, S. 433
romantic and sexual relationships through an active and important role in romantic and
the Grihastha ashrama stage of worldly and sexual relationships. It recognizes their
earthly life. It is essential to understand that desires, needs, and agency, emphasizing that
the Kamasutra reflects the norms, values, both partners should prioritize each other's
and cultural context of ancient India, and its pleasure and satisfaction.
teachings may not align with modern 4) Sexual Pleasures: The text discusses
perspectives and values. Here are some female sexuality and offers guidance on how
aspects of the depiction of women in the women can enhance their sexual pleasure
Kamasutra. and satisfaction. It includes information on
1) Physical Attributes: The Kamasutra various sexual positions and techniques that
describes the physical attributes that were can be pleasurable for women.
considered desirable in women during its 5) Mutual Consent: The Kamasutra
time. It often highlights the beauty of emphasizes the importance of mutual
women and the importance of maintaining consent and open communication between
good health, personal hygiene, and partners. It encourages both men and women
grooming. It describes the characteristics to engage in sexual activities with their
that were considered attractive during the partners willingly and enthusiastically.
time when the text was written, including 6) Variety in Relationships: The text
features like soft skin, well-proportioned recognizes that romantic and sexual
bodies, and expressive eyes. relationships can take various forms and
2) Behaviour and Manners: The text encourages both men and women to explore
emphasizes that women should exhibit and enjoy variety in their intimate lives.
qualities such as politeness, modesty, and 7) Women to Learn Sixty-four Arts:
respect in their interactions with men. It In the Kamasutra, it is mentioned that
underscores the importance of women being women, particularly courtesans or women of
courteous and considerate in their the Kama Sutra tradition, were expected to
relationships. be well-versed in a wide range of skills and
3) Role in Relationships: The arts, often referred to as the "64 Arts" or the
Kamasutra acknowledges that women play "Sixty-Four Kalas." These arts were
Bawa, S. 434
considered essential for courtesans to be saves for the future; pursuing careers for
attractive, cultured, and alluring companions both genders but for women it was restricted
to men. The 64 Arts encompassed a broad to being courtesans or in case their husbands
spectrum of talents, including dance, music, left them or died then the sixty-four arts
poetry, painting, drawing, sculpture, would help women financially; contributing
makeup, cosmetics, massage, aromatherapy, to the well-being of society and also
cooking, culinary arts, fashion, clothing, performing and honoring all religious
etiquette, conversation, seduction, erotic rituals, principles and disciplines.
arts, etc. These skills were considered
essential for courtesans to create an The only area of Grihastha Ashrama that
enchanting and alluring persona. While Vatsyayana does not mention which is an
these arts were often associated with essential aspect of one’s life as a
courtesans and women in the Kama Sutra householder is begetting children and
tradition, it is important to note that not all procreation. It is nowhere mentioned in the
women in ancient India were courtesans, text and the reason for the same could be
and the acquisition of these skills may have because the text focuses on seeking as much
varied depending on social status and of pleasure in one’s life as possible and this
personal interests. pleasure was largely of a physical kind in
which Vatsyayana excludes pleasures of the
CONCLUSION progeny.
Though the early depiction of the Grihastha
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Shodh Sari-An International Multidisciplinary Journal

GRIHASTHA ASHRAMA AND THE KAMASUTRA

Keywords: Grihastha Ashrama, Householder, Kamasutra, Vatsyayana, Men, Women,

INTRODUCTION stages were primarily followed by

2) Financial and Material Support: expected to adhere to their dharma by living

enhance one's aesthetic and emotional

understanding the complexities of human a loving and harmonious marital

Doniger, W. The “Kamasutra”: It isn’t all Indian History Congress, Volume, 78

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