Sharma 1

Mansi Sharma

Professor Suman (English Department, Daulat Ram College)

Twentieth Century Novel,

5th November, 2024

Exploring the nature of Human Relationships in D.H. Lawrence’ “Sons

and Lovers”

Abstract
The most beautiful aspect of being human is undoubtedly our human relationships which are
what define us as such. They provide people a feeling of identity, purpose, and belonging,
making them the cornerstone of human existence. They are essential in forming our
psychological, social, and emotional health. The Negative relationships can result in
emotional pain, loneliness, and a decline in wellbeing, whereas positive interactions can
promote resilience, happiness, and personal progress. Building and sustaining wholesome,
satisfying relationships with other people requires an understanding of the intricacies of
human relationships. They are essential to our development as individuals. While unhealthy
relationships might impede our development, healthy relationships keep people engaged and
offer chances for learning, growth, and self-improvement. Relationships are undeniably an
important part of our life.

The Sons and Lovers book by D.H. Lawrence is the subject of this research paper. In contrast
to the joyous side of our relationships that we have witnessed, the relationships in this
narrative are full of problems and show the feelings of all people. Throughout the book,
Lawrence demonstrates emotional discontent, the dysfunctional family dynamic, and
calamities. He has effectively demonstrated that a connection has the power to both heal and
destroy us.

Mr. and Mrs. Morel :

”There was a feeling of misery over all the house.” Mr. Morel and Mrs. Morel relationship
and their life was not a bed of roses like other relationships portrayed in the novel. Once
comes home drunk late one night and fights with his wife. Walter locks his pregnant wife out
of the house, letting her in later, after he has slept off part of his alcohol.

In "Sons and Lovers," by D.H. Lawrence, the characters of Mr. and Mrs. Morel play an
integral part in the novel's examination of marital instability, class conflict, and the
psychological effects on their children, especially Paul. The significant differences in
 Sharma 2
Mansi Sharma

Professor Suman (English Department, Daulat Ram College)

Twentieth Century Novel,

5th November, 2024

personality, upbringing, and ideals characterize their connection, which greatly adds to the
dysfunction of the family and the richness of the novel's themes. The middle-class Mrs.
Morel, whose real name is Gertrude Coppard, is presented as being both academically and
spiritually superior to her husband. "A refined woman's face, with a small, straight nose and a
full mouth, and with her hair done in the later fashion of the day" is how she is characterized
her. She is instantly identifiable from the working-class setting she marries into. She
"discovers the lies he has told her about his financial position", suggesting a fundamental
violation of trust that establishes the tone for their future relationship, and this marks the
beginning of her disenchantment with her marriage.

In contrast, Mr. Walter Morel is presented as a working-class miner, initially charming but
later revealed to be a less reliable and more volatile character. The novel's opening chapters
depict him through Mrs. Morel's increasingly disillusioned perspective, emphasizing his
drinking habits and violent tendencies. However, it's crucial to note that Lawrence's portrayal
of Mr. Morel is not entirely one-dimensional. "The weight of hostile comment which
Lawrence directs against Morel is balanced by the unconscious sympathy with which he is
presented dramatically. A major issue that is represented in both the Morels' personality and
language is their class strife. By alternating between regular English and dialect in the
characters' language, Lawrence uses code-switching to draw attention to this disparity. This
language device is used to "display the psychology of the characters and the most
characteristic of his theme: class conflict." Mrs. Morel's more sophisticated speech highlights
her middle-class roots and goals, while Mr. Morel's dialect highlights his working-class
upbringing.

Interestingly, while the novel frequently appears to side with Mrs. Morel's perspective,
Lawrence's narrative technique creates a different picture. Mark Schorer points out "the
contradiction between Lawrence's explicit characterizations of the mother and father and his
tonal evaluations of them,”1 This inconsistency in narrative voice adds depth to the
characters, preventing them from becoming mere caricatures of the oppressive husband and
the long-suffering wife.

Mr. Morel and His Sons (William and Paul)

“No one can imagine hatred and debates between father and his son, while the Father’s wife/
Son’s mother being the subject. This could be the most controversial thing, I have ever read
and heard of”

1
Schwarz, Daniel R. Speaking of Paul Morel: Voice, Unity, and Meaning in Sons and Lovers. palgrave
macmillan uk, 1995, pp. 72-74, https://doi.org/10.1057/9780230379336_5.
 Sharma 3
Mansi Sharma

Professor Suman (English Department, Daulat Ram College)

Twentieth Century Novel,

5th November, 2024

In conventional terms, Sons inspires to become like their father and to achieve something like
him. This is exactly opposite of the conventional father and son relationship. However, The
relationship between Mr. Morel and his sons in Sons and Lovers is characterized by tension
and conflict, stemming from the fundamental incompatibility between Mr. Morel and Mrs.
Morel. They often encountered each other with hatred and Mr. Morel as a working-class
miner, Walter Morel is often portrayed negatively as a source of domestic discord with a
negative personality. However, a more nuanced reading reveals the complex social and
economic factors shaping his behavior and relationship with his family. The novel presents
contradictions in its portrayal of Mr. Morel. While the narrative voice often condemns him,
the dramatic scenes sometimes evoke sympathy for his character.

This inconsistency in characterization has led some critics like Mark Schorer to consider the
novel a "technical failure"2. The strained relationship between Mr. Morel and his sons,
particularly Paul, is heavily influenced by Mrs. Morel's excessive attachment to her children.
Her "disproportionate affection" prevents her sons from having healthy relationships with
their father.”3 Paul's conflicted feelings towards his father are part of the novel's exploration
of the Oedipus complex and family.

Mrs. Morel and William

Walter cuts his son's hair while his wife is sleeping. Mrs. Morel views this as a betrayal, and
the image of William, her favorite child, standing in front of his father with shorn locks on the
floor, stays with her. “She loved him passionately and wanted to have him forever. “Mrs.
Morel would do anything for William, and she feels inordinately jealous of his relationships
with other young women.
William may not be the protagonist of the novel, but his character is crucial in progressing
the novel. Mrs. Morel's relationship with her eldest son William is characterized by an
intense, almost possessive maternal love. This relationship exemplifies the novel's
exploration of the "unhealthy mother-son relationship" and the concept of the "devouring

2
Ibid., pg 90

3
Rademacher, M.-G. (2019). Vision and Excessive Love of a Narcissistic Mother in D. H. Lawrence’s Sons and
Lovers. Études Lawrenciennes, 50. https://doi.org/10.4000/lawrence.1044.
 Sharma 4
Mansi Sharma

Professor Suman (English Department, Daulat Ram College)

Twentieth Century Novel,

5th November, 2024

mother"4. Mrs. Morel's excessive affection for William prevents him from forming healthy
relationships with other women, a theme that extends to her relationship with Paul as well.

The relationship between Mrs. Morel and William serves as a precursor to the more
extensively explored relationship between Mrs. Morel and Paul. Unfortunately, he dies at the
end and this forceful love of his mother, was now forced upon his younger mother. There is
no doubt that his mother was the sole reason for his early death. His death event, highlights
the novel's themes of maternal possessiveness and its detrimental effects on the sons' ability
to form relationships outside the family unit. However, the contradictory portrayal of Mrs.
Morel adds complexity to the narrative and has been a subject of critical debate regarding
Lawrence's narrative control.

Mrs. Morel and Paul

“His soul seemed always attentive to her.” Even from a young age Paul devotes himself to his
mother, and their bond is clear. As Paul matures, his love for his mother morphs from
admiration to romantic affection.

As for another instance, “Sleep is still most perfect ... when it is shared with a beloved. “The
narrator describes Paul's love for sleeping next to his mother when ill. He finds it warm and
secure—two characteristics he never finds with his lovers. At the end of the novel Paul
contemplates suicide after his mother's death so he can return to this feeling of security.

Mrs. Morel shared the same height of emotions like Paul.” I talk to her, but I want to come
home to you.” Mrs. Morel begs Paul not to enter a romance with Miriam because she's
terrified he will leave her. Paul insists he loves his mother more than anyone, and they share
a "long, fervent kiss," which further strengthens the Freud’s Oedipal and Electra Complex.

Love should give a sense of freedom, not of prison. At a point of time, Paul realizes that his
relationship with his mother was suffocating him. He will never be able to love another
woman as long as she is alive. Now that Paul realizes that his mother is the cause for his
romantic unhappiness, part of him wishes her to die so he can be free from the bondage of
her love, no matter how much it pains him.

4
Rademacher, M.-G. (2019). Vision and Excessive Love of a Narcissistic Mother in D. H.
Lawrence’s Sons and Lovers. Études Lawrenciennes, 50.
https://doi.org/10.4000/lawrence.1044.
 Sharma 5
Mansi Sharma

Professor Suman (English Department, Daulat Ram College)

Twentieth Century Novel,

5th November, 2024

She was the only thing that held him up, himself, amid all this. After Mrs. Morel dies, Paul is
filled with emotion and reflection of their relationship. He knows his mother's love was
holding him back, unhappiness and bondage. He even wanted her to die but he now feels
desperately alone without her and even considers suicide so they can be reunited.

The relationship between Mrs. Morel and her young son, Paul Morel is characterized by a
complex and unhealthy mother-son dynamic. Mrs. Morel, described as a somewhat
narcissistic mother, exhibits excessive love for her sons, particularly Paul, which significantly
impacts his development and relationships with others. This intense maternal attachment is
often referred to as a form of Oedipus complex, with Lawrence himself acknowledging that
Paul really loved his mother more than anybody. The novel reveals that Mrs. Morel's
unhappiness in her marriage leads her to pour her love and attention into Paul, effectively
using him to fulfill her own emotional needs.

This exploitation denies “Paul the opportunity to develop an independent life and negatively
affects his ability to form normal relationships with others, especially women.”5 The mother's
unusual attachment to Paul results in his failure to find happiness through balanced
relationships, as he struggles to reconcile his mother's influence with his desires for other
women. The consequences of this intense mother-son bond extend beyond Paul's personal
life, contributing significantly to the novel's plot development and themes Lawrence's
portrayal of this relationship raises questions about the nature of love, independence, and the
impact of parental influence on personal growth. In conclusion, the relationship between Mrs.
Morel and Paul in "Sons and Lovers" is central to the novel's exploration of family dynamics,
psychological development, and the challenges of forming healthy adult relationships.

William and his lovers

Although William isn't the novel's primary protagonist, he is undoubtedly the figure that
moves the plot along. His passing gives the book a new direction. A complicated and
multidimensional element of the book is shared by William Morel and his lovers, mirroring
larger issues of class conflict, mother influence, and the quest for personal identity. Although
William, the Morel family's eldest son, is a precursor to Paul's main plot, his romantic
relationship experiences provide important context for the novel's examination of love,
family, and social dynamics.

There is a conflict between attraction and discontent in William's connection with Lily
Western, his main love interest. The class divide between them and William's mixed
emotions over his own upbringing are the main causes of this relationship. William is both

5
Uddin, N. (2013). The Quest for the Whole in D. H. Lawrence’s Sons and Lovers. International
Journal of Comparative Literature and Translation Studies, 1(3), 35–39.
https://doi.org/10.7575/aiac.ijclts.v.1n.3p.35
 Sharma 6
Mansi Sharma

Professor Suman (English Department, Daulat Ram College)

Twentieth Century Novel,

5th November, 2024

drawn to and turned off by Lawrence's portrayal of Lily as a shallow and rather frivolous
young woman from a higher socioeconomic class. William's dealings with Lily and his
family's responses to her reflect this ambivalence. The novel portrays William and Lily's
relationship as essentially faulty, primarily as a result of their different upbringings and
morals. When William introduces Lily to his working-class family, he feels ashamed and
inadequate despite being attracted to her beauty and social standing. “The scenario in which
Lily visits the Morel home serves as an example of this conflict: "She sat in the rocking-chair,
coiled in the striking beauty of her figure." Her throat, which was especially lovely, seemed
to rise from the mist of the weakest swans. Her face was lovely with its delicate curves and
coloring, and the deep black of her hat made it seem creamy. She appeared icy.

The class gap that eventually erodes their relationship is highlighted by this description,
which also highlights Lily's physical attractiveness and her incongruity with the Morel
mansion. William's connection with his mother, Gertrude Morel, is intricately linked to his
struggles with romantic relationship. The overpowering influence of William's mother on his
life contributes to his incapacity to establish a fulfilling and long-lasting romantic
relationship. The Oedipus complex, Freud’s psychoanalytic idea criticizes that his mother’s r
interventon in his personal life. William may be unhappy with Lily in part because he views
his mother as the "ideal lover" figure. The autobiographical aspects of Lawrence's depiction
of William and his relationships have been pointed out by critics. This discrepancy can be a
reflection of Lawrence's own mixed emotions on his early relationships with women and
family. Paul's subsequent romantic difficulties are both hinted at and placed in context by the
novel's depiction of William's relationships. Lawrence establishes the framework for Paul's
more intricate and significant romantic relationships with Miriam and Clara by introducing
William's failed romance with Lily.

Paul and Clara

Paul's relationship with Clara in Sons and Lovers is characterized by passion, sensuality, and
ultimately, unfulfillment. Their affair represents Paul's attempt to break free from his
mother's influence and explore his sexuality, but it ultimately fails to provide the emotional
connection he seeks. Clara, a married woman separated from her husband, serves as a
contrast to the spiritually-oriented Miriam. She embodies sensuality and physical passion,
which Paul finds initially liberating. Lawrence portrays their relationship as primarily
physical, with Clara fulfilling Paul's need for sexual expression. However, Emir Derya this
physical connection proves insufficient for Paul's deeper emotional needs.6 The Madonna-
whore complex is evident in Paul's perception of Clara. He views her as the "whore" figure,
satisfying his sensual desires, while Miriam represents the "Madonna" or pure, spiritual love.
This dichotomy reflects Paul's inability to reconcile physical and emotional intimacy in a
single relationship, stemming from his complex relationship with his mother. A lot of other
critics have noted that Paul's relationships with women, including Clara, are ultimately
shaped by his Oedipal attachment to his mother. Paul's romantic entanglements illustrate his
6
Emi̇ r, Derya. “The Madonna-Whore Complex in D.H. Lawrence’s Sons and Lovers.” Kültür
Araştırmaları Dergisi, no. 20, Mar. 2024, pp. 117–29, https://doi.org/10.46250/kulturder.14369
 Sharma 7
Mansi Sharma

Professor Suman (English Department, Daulat Ram College)

Twentieth Century Novel,

5th November, 2024

ongoing battle between maternal attachment and the pursuit of adult love. This psychological
conflict prevents him from fully committing to Clara or any other woman, as he remains
emotionally tethered to his mother.

Paul and Clara's relationship in Sons and Lovers serves as a vehicle for Lawrence to explore
themes of sexuality, emotional dependency, and the struggle for individual identity. While
their affair provides temporary physical satisfaction, it ultimately fails to resolve Paul's
deeper psychological conflicts, highlighting the lasting impact of his familial relationships on
his ability to form healthy adult connections.

Paul and Mirium

“He hated her, for she seemed in some way to make him despise himself.” Paul feels
desperate to start a physical relationship with Miriam, but she's too timid. Although they
share a deep emotional bond, Miriam won't give herself fully to Paul, which makes him feel
embarrassed of his sexual desires.

His heightened sexual desires were showcased when he asked her ‘Won't you really go any
farther? “He tries to convince Miriam to have sex with him while he's pushing her on a
swing. He's directly asking whether he can push her higher on the swing, but he is
symbolically criticizing her for being so chaste.

While breaking up with her, he told her, “I don't think I love you as a man ought to love his
wife.” Paul breaks things off with Miriam in part because his mother doesn't approve of her.
Paul claims he doesn't love her like a wife, but in reality the only woman he's ever loved that
way is his mother.

“She lay as if she had given herself up to sacrifice.” In a last-ditch effort to keep Pau with
herl, Miriam agrees to have sex with him. She is "horrified" by the encounter but believes she
is sacrificing her virginity for the greater good: marriage. However, Paul was too insane to
understand her sanity,

Paul and Miriam's relationship in Sons and Lovers is most complex and twisted with
psychological tensions and intellectual indifferences, reflecting Lawrence's exploration of the
intricate dynamics between men and women in early 20th-century England. Their
 Sharma 8
Mansi Sharma

Professor Suman (English Department, Daulat Ram College)

Twentieth Century Novel,

5th November, 2024

relationship is characterized by a struggle between spiritual and physical love, maternal
influence, and the inability to achieve a balanced, fulfilling connection.

The relationship between Paul and Miriam is deeply influenced by Paul's strong attachment
to his mother, Gertrude Morel. This maternal bond creates a significant obstacle in Paul's
ability to form a healthy romantic relationship with Miriam, and disturbs his mental health
further. This contradictory relationship of his parents disturbed his whole life and its extends
to the extent extends to Paul's relationship with Miriam, as he struggles to reconcile his
feelings for her with his deep-seated attachment to his mother. Miriam is often portrayed as a
spiritual and intellectual companion for Paul, representing a Madonna-like figure of purity
and affection.

Paul's inability to fully connect with Miriam on a physical level stems from his perception of
her as a virginal Madonna figure, which conflicts with his sexual desires. The novel presents
Paul's vacillation between Miriam and Clara, with neither woman able to fully satisfy his
"affectionate" and "emotional" needs. This struggle reflects Paul's internal conflict between
the spiritual and the physical aspects of love. Lawrence's portrayal of this relationship
highlights the challenges faced by young adults in navigating romantic relationships while
still under the influence of parental bonds. The psychological complexity of Paul and
Miriam's relationship is further illuminated through the lens of object relations theory. As
argued by a critic, "the paradigms of son-mother and son-father relationships reverberate
throughout Paul's life, from which none of his other relationships can be freed." This
perspective helps explain why Paul struggles to form a genuine, independent connection with
Miriam, as he remains caught in the patterns established by his primary familial relationships.
In conclusion, Paul and Miriam's relationship in Sons and Lovers serves as a microcosm for
the larger themes of the novel, including the struggle between spiritual and physical love, the
impact of parental influence on romantic relationships, and the challenges of forming
authentic connections in the face of psychological complexities. Lawrence's nuanced
portrayal of this relationship continues to offer rich material for critical analysis and
interpretation.

In Conclusion, the novel Sons and Lovers is no doubt a profound exploration of human
relationships, delving into the complexities of love, family, and identity. Through the Morel
family's experiences and their sons experiences with their respective lovers with the element
of Freud’s Oedipus Complex in shaping relationship is highly significant, Lawrence
masterfully portrays the intricate web of relationships that shape our lives, revealing the
tensions, conflicts, and passions that arise from our interactions with others. The novel
highlights the ways in which family members can be both deeply loving and profoundly
hurtful to one another. The Morel family's dynamics is too complex and the reader has to
deeply dive into the novel to understand about the events. These conflicts arise from the
complex interplay of emotions, desires, and expectations that exist within the family and
outside.
 Sharma 9
Mansi Sharma

Professor Suman (English Department, Daulat Ram College)

Twentieth Century Novel,

5th November, 2024

The novel successfully highlights the ways in which these relationships can be both
empowering and suffocating. Paul's relationship with his mother, for example, is deeply
loving and supportive, but also profoundly suffocating, as it prevents him from developing
his own sense of identity and independence. Similarly, Miriam's relationship with Paul is
marked by a deep-seated sense of passion and intensity, but also by a sense of possessiveness
and jealousy.

REFRENCES
1. Schwarz, Daniel R. Speaking of Paul Morel: Voice, Unity, and Meaning in Sons and
Lovers. palgrave macmillan uk, 1995, pp. 68–93,
https://doi.org/10.1057/9780230379336_5.

2. Chamoli, Avantika. “Decoding Walter Morel- Class Politics in Sons and Lovers.” The
Creative Launcher, vol. 7, no. 5, Oct. 2022, pp. 107–14,
https://doi.org/10.53032/tcl.2022.7.5.09.

3. Rademacher, M. G. (2019). Vision and Excessive Love of a Narcissistic Mother in D.

H. Lawrence’s Sons and Lovers. Études Lawrenciennes, 50.
https://doi.org/10.4000/lawrence.1044.

4. Uddin, N. (2013). The Quest for the Whole in D. H. Lawrence’s Sons and
Lovers. International Journal of Comparative Literature and Translation
Studies, 1(3), 35–39.https://doi.org/10.7575/aiac.ijclts.v.1n.3p.35.