The Comedy of Errors
The Comedy of Errors
The Comedy of Errors
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JohnAshburner, MD
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1
1
ILL
V.2.p.3.
THE
COMEDY
OF
ERROR S.
LONDON :
i
Printed for J. TONSON, and the rest of the PRO
PRIETORS ; and fold by the Bookfellers of
London and Weftminster.
MDCCXXXIV .
HEREAS R. Walker, and
W. CHETWOOD.
A 2 Dramatis
Dramatis Perfonæ.
SCENE Ephefus.
THE
COMEDY of ERRORS.
ACT I. SCENE I.
ÆGEON.
SCENE II.
The STREET ,
SCENE III.
Ant. He that commends meto my own content,
Commends me to the thing I cannot get.
I to theworld am like a drop ofwater,
That in the ocean feeks another drop,
Who falling there to find his fellow forth,
Unfeen, inquifitive, confounds himfelf:
So I, to find a mother and a brother,
In queft of them , unhappy, lofe my ſelf.
Enter Dromio of Ephefus.
Here comes the almanack of my true date.
What now? how chance thou art return'd fo foon ?
E. Dra.
The Comedy of ERRORS. II
ACT
144
The Comedy of ERRORS, 13
SCENE II.
1
The Comedy of ERRORS. 15 :
E. Dro. I mean not cuckold-mad ; but fure he's ftark
mad : '
When I defir'd him to come to dinner,
He ask'd me for a thouſand marks in gold
'Tis dinner-time, quoth I ; my gold, quoth he :
Your meat doth burn, quoth I ? my gold, quoth he :
Where is the thouſand marks I gave thee, villain ?
The pig, quoth I, is burn'd ; my gold, quoth he,
Will you come, quoth I ? my gold, quoth he :
My mistress, Sir, quoth I ; hang up my mistress ;
I know not thy miftrefs ; out on thy miſtreſs :
Luc. Quoth who ?
E. Dro. Quoth my maſter :
I know, quoth he, no houfe, no wife, no miſtreſs ;
So that my errand, due unto my tongue,
I thank him, I bare home upon my ſhoulders :
For in conclufion, he did beat me there.
Adr. Go back again, thou flave, and fetch him home.
E. Dro. Go back again, and be new beaten home ?
For God's fake fend fome other meffenger.
Adr. Back, flave, or I will break thy pate across .
E. Dre. And he will blefs that croſs with other beating :
Between you I fhall have a holy head.
Adr. Hence, prating peafant, fetch thy maſter home.
E. Dro. Am I fo round with you as you with me,
That like a foot-ball you do fpurn me thus ?
You fpurn me hence, and he will ſpurn me hither :
If I laft in this fervice, you muſt cafe me in leather.
[Exit,
SCENE III.
SCENE IV.
The STREET .
wafts us yonder ?
S. Dro. Sconce, call you it ? fo you would leave
battering, I had rather have it a head ; an you uſe
thefe blows long, I muft get a fconce for my head, and
infconce it too, or elſe I fhall feek my wit in my ſhoul
ders but I pray, Sir, why am I beaten ?
Ant. Doft thou not know ?
S. Dro. Nothing, Sir, but that I am beaten.
18 The Comedy of EKRORS.
SCENE V.
s
as to your talk..
d Who every word by all my wit being fcann'd,
Wants wit in all one word to underſtand.
Luc. Fie, brother, &c. -\
22 The Comedy of ERRORS.
Or fleep I now, and think I hear allthis ?
What error drives our eyes and ears amifs ?
Until I know this fure uncertainty,
I'll entertain the favour'd fallacy.
Luc. Dromio, go bid the fervants ſpread for dinner.
Adr. Come, come, no longer will I be a fool,
To put the finger inthe eye and weep,
Whilft man and mafter laugh my woes to fcorn,
Come, Sir, to dinner ; Dromio, keep the gate ;
Husband, I'll dine above with you to-day,
And ſhrive you of a thouſand idle pranks ;
Sirrah, if any ask you for your mafter,
Say he dines forth, and let no creature enter :
Come, fifter ; Dromio, play the porter well.
Ant. Am I in earth, in heav'n, or in hell ?
Sleeping or waking, mad or well advis'd ?
Known unto theſe, and to my felf diſguis'd ?
I'll fay as they fay, and perfever fo ;
And in this mift at all adventures go.
S. Dro.
92525252
E. ANTIPHOLIS.
let mein.
S. Dro. Ay, when fowls have no feathers, and fiſh
EPI
have no fin.
E. Ant. Well, I'll break in ; go borrow me a crow.
E. Dro. A crow without feather , mafter, mean you fo ?
For a fish without a fin, there's a fowl without a feather :
d.
If a crow help us in, firrah, we'll pluck a crow together,
E. Ant. Go, get thee gone, &c.
28 The Comedy of ERRORS.
There will we dine : this woman that I mean,
My wife (but I proteft without defert)
Hath oftentimes upbraided me withal ;
To her will we to dinner. Get you home,
And fetch the chain ; by this I know 'tis made ;
Bring it, I pray you , to the Porcupine ;
For there's the houfe : that chain I will beftow,
(Be it for nothing but to fpight my wife, )
Upon mine hoftefs there, Good Sir, make hafle :
Since my own doors refuſe to entertain me.
I'll knock elfewhere, to fee if they'll difdain me.
Ang. I'll meet you at that place, fome hour, Sir
hence.
E. Ant. Do fo ; this jeft fhall coft me ſome expence .
[Excur
SCENE II.
SCENE III.
Enter Dromio of Syracuſe.
S. Ant. Why how now, Dromio, where runn't thou
fo faft ?
S. Dro. D' you know me, Sir ? am I Dromio ? am I
your man ? am Imy felf?
S. Ant. Thou art Dromio, thou art my man, thou art
thy felf.
S. Dre. I am an afs, I am a woman's man and beſides
my felf.
S. Ant. What woman's man ? and how befides thy
felf?
S. Dro. Marry, Sir, befides my felf, I am due to a wo
man ; one that claims me, one that haunts me, one that
willhave me..
S. Ant. What claim lays the to thee ?
S. Dro. Marry, Sir, fuch claim as you would lap to
your
The Comedy of ERRORS... 31
your horfe, and ſhe would have me as a beaſt : not that
I being a beaft fhe would have me, but that the being a
very beaftly creature, lays claim to me,
S. Ant. What is the ?
S. Dro. A very reverent body ; ay, fuch a one as a man
may not fpeak of, without he fay, Sir reverence : I have
but lean luck in the match ; and yet is the a wond'rous
fat marriage. 1
S. Ant. How doft thou mean, a fat marriage ?
S. Dro. Marry, Sir, fhe's the kitchen-wench, and all
greafe, and I know not what ufe to put her to, but to
make a lamp of her, and run from her byher own light,
I warrant her rags, and the tallow in them, will burn
a Poland winter : if fhe lives ' till doomfday, fhe'll burn
a week longer than the whole world .
S. Ant. What complection is fhe of ?
S. Dro. Swart, like my fhoe, but her face nothing
like fo clean kept ; for why ? fhe fweats, a man may
go over-fhoes in the grime of it.
S. Ant. That's a fault that water will mend.
S. Dro. No, Sir, ' tis in grain ; Noah's flood could
not do it.
S. Ant. What's her name ?
S. Dro. Nell, Sir ; but her Name is three quarters ;
that is, an ell and three quarters will not meaſure her
from hip to hip .
S. Ant. Then fhe bears fome breadth ?
S. Dro. No longer from head to foot, than from hip
to hip; fhe is fpherical, like a globe : I could find out
countries in her.
S. Ant. In what part of her body ftands Ireland ?
es S. Dro. Marry, Sir, in her buttocks ; I found it out
by the bogs .
S. Ant. Where Scotland ?
S. Dro. I found it out by the barrennefs, hard in the
palm of her hand .
I S. Ant. Where France ?
S. Dro. In her forehead, arm'd and reverted, making
war againſt her hair.
S. Ant. Where England ?
B.4 S. Dro.
32 The Comedy of ERRORS .
S. Dro . I look'd for the chatky cliffs but I could find
no whiteness in them ; but I guess, it flood in her
chin, by the falt rheum that ran between France and
it.
S. Ant. Where Spain ?
S. Dro. Faith, I faw it not, but I felt it hot in her
breath .
S. Ant. Where America, the Indies ?
S. Dro. Oh Sir, upon her nofe, all o'er embelliſh'd
with rubies, carbuncles, faphires, declining their rich
aipect to the hot breath of Spain, who fent whole arma
does of carracts to be ballaft at her noſe.
S. Ant. Where flood Belgia, the Netherlands ?
S. Dro. Oh, Sir, I did not look fo low, To con
clude, this drudge, or diviner, laid claim to me, call'd
me Dromio, fwore I was affur'd to her, told me what
privy marks I had about me, as the marks of my fheul
der, the mole in my neck, the great wart on my left
arm, that I amaz'd, ran from her as a witch. And I
think, if my breaft had not been made of faith, and
my heart of ſteel, fhe had transform'd me to a curtal
Gog, and made me turn i' th' wheel.
S. Ant Go hie thee preſently ; poſt to the road ;
And ifthe wind blow any way from fhore,
I will not harbour in this town to-night.
If any bark put forth, come to the mart ;
Where I will walk ' till thou return to me :
If every one knows us, and we know none,
'Tis time I think to trudge, pack and be gone.
S. Dro. As from a bear man would run for life,
So fly I from her that would be my wife. [Exit.
SCENE IV.
NGDOCTO
ઇય
die,
B. 5 ACT
34 The Comedy of ERRORS.
The STREET.
MERCHANT.
OU know fince Pentecoft the fum is due ;
YoAnd fince I have not much importun'd you ;
Nor now I had not, but that I am bound
To Perfia, and want gilders for my voyage :
Therefore make prefent fatisfaction ;
Or I'll attach you by this officer.
Ang. Ev'n juft the fum that I do owe to you,
Is owing to me by Antipholis ;
And in the inftant that I met with you,
He had of me a chain ; at five a clock
1 fhall receive the mony for the fame :
Pleafe you but walk with me down to his houſe,
I will diſcharge my bond, and thank you too .
SCENE II.
SCENE III.
E. Antipholis's Houfe..
SCENE IV.
Enter S Dromio .
S. Dro, Here, go ; the desk, the purfe ; fweet now
make hafte.
Luc. How haft thou loft thy breath ?
8. Dro. By running faft.
Adr. Where is thy mafter. Dromio ? is he well ?
S. Dro. No, he's in Tartar Limbo, worfe than hell :
A devil in an everlasting garment hath him,
One whofe hard heart is button'd up with feel :
A fiend, a fury, pitilefs and rough,
A wolf, nay worfe, a fellow all in buff ;
A back-friend, a fhoulder-clapper, one that counter
mands
The paffages of allies, creeks, and narrow lands ;
A hound that runs counter, and yet draws dry-foot well ;
One that before the judgment carries poor fouls to hell.
Adr. Why man, what is the matter ?
S. Dra
The Comedy of ERRORS. 39.
S. Dro. I do not know the matter ; he is refted on the
cafe.
Adr. What, is he arrefted ? tell me at whofe fuit.
S. Dro. I know not at whofe fuit he is arreſted ; but
he's in a fuit of buff which refted him , that I can tell .
Will you fend him, miftreís redemption, the money in
his desk ?
Adr. Go fetch it, ſiſter. This I wonder at,
[Exit , Luc.
That he unknown to.me fhould be in debt !
Tell me, was he arrefted on a bond ?
S. Dro. Not on a bond, but a ſtronger thing,
A chain, a chain ; do you not hear it ring ?
Adr. What, the chain ?
S. Dro. No, no ; the bell ; 'tis time that I were gone.
Enter Luciana .
SCENE V.
The STREET .
SCENE VI.
Enter a Courtezan.
tempt me not.
S. Dro. Mafter, is this miſtreſs Satan ?
S. Ant. It is the devil.
S. Dro, Nay fhe is worfe, fhe's the devil's dam ;
and here fhe comes in the habit of a light wench,
and thereof comes that the wenches fay, God dam
me, that's as much as to fay, God make me a light
wench, It is written, they appear to men like an
gels of light light is an effect of fire, and fire will
burn ; ergo, light wenches will burn ; come not near
her.
Cur. Your man and you are marvellous merry, Sir.
Will you go with me, we'll mend our dinner here ;
S. Dro. Mafter, if you do expect spoon-meat, be
ſpeak a long ſpoon .
S. Ant.
42 The Comedy of ERRORS.
Cur. Give me the ring of mine you had at dinner,
Or for my diamond the chain you promis'd,
And I'll be gone, Sir, and not trouble you..
S. Dro. Some devils ask but the parings of one's
nail, a ruſh, a hair, a drop of blood, a pin, a nut,
a cherry ftone ; but the more covetous would have 1 a
chain. Mafter be wife, and if you give it her, the de
vil will ſhake her chain, and fright us with it.
Cur. I pray you Sir, my ring, or elfe the chain ;
I hope you do not mean to cheat me fo ?
S. Ant. Avant, thou witch ! come Dromio let us go .*
[Exeunt.
SCENE VII.
let us go .
S. Dro. Fly pride, fays, the peacock ; miftrefs that
you know.
SCENE VII. &c.
On ?
The Comedy of ERRORS. 43
On purpoſe ſhut the doors against his way.
My way is now to hie home to his houfe,
And tell his wife ; that being lunatick,
He rush'd into my houſe, and took perforce
My ring away. This courfe I fitteſt chufe,.
For forty ducats is too much to lofe. [Exit.
SCENE VIII,
The STREET .
SCENE IX .
Adr. Oh bind him, bind him, let him not come near
me.
Pinch. More company, the fiend is ftrong within
him .
Luc. Ay me, poor man, how pale and wan he looks !
E. Ant. What, will you murther me ? thou jailor
thou,
I am thy prifoner, wilt thou fuffer them
To make a reſcue ?
Ofi. Mafters ; let him go :
He is my prifoner, and you fhall not have him..
Pinch. Go bind this man, for he is frantick too.
Adr. What wilt thou do, thou peevish officer ?
Haft thou delight to fee a wretched man
Do outrage and difpleaſure to himſelf ?
Off. He is my prifoner, if I let him go
The debt he owes will be requir'd of me.
Adr. I will difcharge thee, ere I go from thee ;
Bear me forthwith unto his creditor,
[They bind Ant. and Dro.
And knowing how the debt grows I will pay it.
Good mafter doctor fee him fafe convey'd
Home to my houfe. Oh moft unhappy day !
E. Ant. Oh moſt unhappy ftrumpet !
E. Dro. Mafter, I'm here enter'd in bond for you.
E. Ant. Out on thee, villain ! wherefore doft thou
mad me ?
E. Dre.
The Comedy of ERRORS. 47
E. Dro. Will you be bound for nothing ? be mad,
good maſter, cry the devil.
Luc. God help poor fouls, how idly do they talk !
Adr. Go bear him hence ; fifter, ſtay you with me.
Say now, whofe fuit is he arreſted at ?
[Exeunt Pinch, Ant. and Dro.
SCENE X.
SCENE XI.
********* : **********
AGAGNANGNATANG NGAGAGAGAGAGNONE GAGNT
ACT V. SCENE I.
ANGELO.
SCENE . IL
SCENE . III.
SCENE IV ..
Enter a Miffenger.
Me. O miftrefs, miftrefs, fhift and fave your feif;
My mafter and his man are both broke loofe,"
Beaten the maids a-row, and bound the doctor,
Whoſe beard they have fing'doff with brands of fire ;
And ever as it blaz'd, they threw on him
Great pails of puddled mire to quench the hair ;
My mafter preaches patience to him, and the while
His man with fciffars nicks him like a fool :
And fure, unless you fend fome prefent help,
Between them they will kill the conjurer.
Adr. Peace fool, thy mafter and his man are here,
And that is falfe thou doft report to us .
Meff. Miftrefs, upon my life I tell you true,
I have not breath'd almoft fince I did fee it.
He crys for you , and vows if he can take
you,
To fcorch your face, and to disfigure you .
[ Cry within
Hark, hark, I hear him , miftrefs ; fly, be gone.
Duke. Come ftand by me, fear nothing guard with
halberds. ?
Adr. Ay me, it is my hufband ; witness you,
That he is born about invifible.
C 3 Ev'n
54 The Comedy of ERRORS,
Ev'n now we hous'd him in the abbey here,
And now he's there, pait thought of human reafon.
SCENE V.
SCENE VI.
SCENE
58 The Comedy of ERRORS.
SCENE VII.
Have
60 The Comedy of ERRORS.
j
Have fuffer'd wrong ; go, keep us company,
And ye fhall have full fatisfaction ,
Thirty three years have I been gone in travel
Of you my fons, and ' till this preſent hour
My heavy burthens are delivered ;
The Duke, my huſband, and my children both,
And youthe kalenders of their nativity,
Go to a goflip's feaft, and go with me,
After fo long grief ſuch nativity !
Duke. With all my heart I'll goffip at this feaft.
SCENE VIII.
FINI
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