CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW

(JOVANE SALVANI JR., SOICT)

Hello boys and girls or whatever my name is Captain Jack Sparrow, ah I take it some

of you have heard of me as you may will know there are times almost constantly in

fact where I prefer to look at the world through the bottom of a glass, rum,

something like this you may have also heard whispering and rumors that Jack

Sparrow be recruiting a crew to undertake voyage to the Fountain of Youth not true

of course not but even if it weren't not true you wouldn't be interested in joining me

would you hey no thought not I do admit that there be varied in substantial dangers

along the way including but not limited to zombies cutthroats mermaids and vicious

and vivacious but never be cru, which is why I’m not going sure possibly to find the

place anyway no one knows where it is plus I’d have to have a bloody map or a

bloody Mary or both which is not a bad idea in fact bloody Mary, bloody Mary's all

around it's on the mouse bman. Ah, the open sea… such freedom, wouldn’t you

say? The wind at our backs, the waves beneath our feet… well, below deck

technically, but you get the point. What more could a man ask for? Except maybe a

few bottles of rum. Or perhaps a treasure map. Aye, a treasure map with promises

of untold riches, ancient relics, and a good chase. But who am I kidding? The

treasure isn’t the point, mate, it’s the chase—the thrill, the pursuit, the journey.

Now, listen closely. You see, life… life’s not about the destination. Never has been,

never will be. No, no, no, it’s about the detours you take, the shortcuts you don’t,

and the people—or occasional sea monsters—you meet along the way. Take me, for

instance. Captain Jack Sparrow—legendary pirate, man of fortune, master of the

high seas. But not all was sunshine and fair winds. Oh, no. Betrayals, mutinies,

curses, and that one unfortunate incident with a goat. A very angry goat. Not my
proudest moment. But these… these are what make the story interesting. Now, let’s

talk about choice. You always have a choice, savvy? Whether it’s to steer toward

calmer waters or into the heart of a storm. And when you find yourself in the storm,

well, sometimes it’s best not to fight it. Let it carry you. That’s where the fun is! And

if it drags you down, well, make sure you come back up with something to show for

it—a story, a lesson, or better yet, a shiny trinket for your troubles. Not all treasure

is silver and gold, mates. Sometimes it’s an idea, a moment, a fleeting sense of

freedom. Freedom—that’s the real prize, isn’t it? No man, no king, no sea creature

can take it from you unless you let them. So what if the Royal Navy’s hot on our

heels? So what if Davy Jones himself is knocking on our door? We’re free men—free

to make our own way, carve our own path, drink our own rum, and sing our own

shanties! Well… maybe not sing, I’ve heard some of you lot and it’s enough to scare

off a kraken. But the point stands! Now, a wise man once told me, ‘Jack, you’re

either incredibly brave or incredibly stupid.’ And to that, I say… ‘Why not both?’ It’s

the unpredictability that keeps ‘em guessing, eh? Keeps ‘em on their toes. The

second they think they’ve got me figured out, I zig when I ought to zag, and

suddenly they’re left wondering, ‘What’s he playing at?’ And I’ll tell you what I’m

playing at—freedom. You see, I’m a man of simple needs. A ship, the sea, a good

crew—preferably one that doesn’t mutiny every other Tuesday—and a bottle of

rum, or two… or seven. Ah, yes, and a compass. A compass that doesn’t point

north, but to the thing I want most. And right now, what I want most… is a horizon.

An endless stretch of possibilities. Adventure. And a little peace and quiet, because

you lot are making quite the ruckus. Now, where was I? Ah, yes. Life. She’s a cruel

mistress, isn’t she? One moment, you’re on top of the world—or at least a small

island with a bottle of rum—and the next, you’re stranded, marooned, betrayed by
your own crew… or was it the other way around? Details. The point is, life has a

funny way of giving you exactly what you don’t expect, but what you need. And

what you need, my friends, is to always keep moving. Never let the world tie you

down. Never let anyone tell you who you are or what you should be. Be

unpredictable. Be free. Be… well, me. Not exactly me, of course, because there’s

only one Captain Jack Sparrow, and frankly, I wouldn’t wish the life of piracy on just

anyone. It’s a tough business, you know. Dangerous, messy, and yet… gloriously

rewarding. So, what’s next, you ask? Well, we keep sailing. We keep searching. And

when we find the treasure—or the next adventure, whichever comes first—we seize

it. But remember, mates, it’s not the gold we’re after, it’s the thrill. The freedom.

And, maybe, just maybe, another bottle of rum. Now, enough chatter. Set the sails,

point the bow toward that distant horizon, and let’s see what mischief we can get

ourselves into. After all, we are pirates. And this… this is what we do best.
 URSULA
(JERWIN JOHN CAMPANAN, SOICT)
Those poor unfortunate souls

So sad, so true
I admit that, in the past, I've been a nasty
They come flocking to my cauldron
They weren't kidding when they called me, well,

"A Witch"

But you'll find that nowadays I've mended all

my ways
Crying, "Spells, Ursula, please!"
Repented, seen the light, and made a switch
And I help them
True, this
Yes, I do
And I fortunately know a little magic
Now, it's happened once or twice
It's a talent that I always have possessed
Someone couldn't pay the price
And here lately, please don't laugh
And I'm afraid I had to rake them 'cross the
I use it on behalf of the miserable, lonely, and
coals
depressed
Yes, I've had the odd complaint
Pathetic!
But on the whole, I've been a saint
Poor unfortunate souls, in pain, in need
To those poor unfortunate souls
This one longing to be thinner
Now, here's the deal: If you dare
This one wants to get the girl
There's a potion I'll prepare
And do I help them? Yes, indeed
Just consume, and you'll be human
For three days up above There's no way to spin it

By the end of day three Life's full of tough choices, innit?

Listen up, this is key

One last thing, silly me
Just convince Mr. Prince
Did I mention there's a fee?
And get a kiss of true love
Nothing choice, just your voice

If I do? No more talking, singing, zip!

Lucky you Not a word?

You stay human through and through Not a note

You can go, wed your beau Not a whisper from your throat

And be totally divine But-

And if not? Show some spine, you'll be fine

Then guess what, girl? Honey, here's a little tip

You'll turn back into a mer-girl

You'll have your looks
Same as you once were, girl
Your pretty face
But that tail will be mine
And don't underestimate the importance of

Don't be shy, dear "body language, " ha-ha!

What will it be?

The men up there don't like a lot of blabber
You want the guy, dear?
They think a girl who gossips is a bore
Leave it to me
Yes, on land it's much preferred
But what about my father?
For ladies not to say a word
And my family?
And after all, dear, what is idle babble for?
Hmm
Come on, you poor unfortunate soul
Sorry, dear
Go ahead, make your choice
I'm a very busy woman The boss is on a roll

And I haven't got all day Those poor unfortunate souls

It won't cost much

Beluga, sevruga
Just your voice
Come winds of the Caspian Sea
You poor unfortunate soul
Larengix glaucitis

It's sad, but true Et max laryngitis

If you want to cross a bridge, my sweet La voce to me

You've got to pay the toll Now sing

Take a gulp and take a breath

Ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah, ah-ah (keep singing)
And go ahead and sign the scroll
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah (ha-ha-ha-ha!), ah-ah-ah-ah-
Flotsam, Jetsam, now I've got her, boys
ah-ah

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!